Liz lets out a dry laugh before taking another drag of her cigarette and releasing a puff of smoke out toward the star-studded sky.
It's funny how much Little Miss Perfect has changed over the last few months of knowing her. Tsubaki's gone from being a straight A, honor roll, top of her class high school graduate to the girl who ditches studying to lay on the hood of a 1999 Corolla in the middle of nowhere. Liz should be honored, though. Not every straight edge girl is willing to change for someone as fucked up as her with a background in dealing drugs and threatening fuckboys who don't pay up and having drunk make out sessions because love is too mainstream.
Most girls stay around long enough for a good one night stand before ditching her for better things. Most girls - college girls to be specific - see her as a nice experiment. A one night stand.
But Tsubaki?
Hell, she's willing to give up her whole future for Liz.
"What's that laugh for?" Tsubaki asks.
Liz's heart stumbles when she feels Tsubaki's fingers inch closer to her own. She hates how the girl makes her feel, the flip flopping of her stomach when she's all too aware of how smaller the space between them becomes. Though, she only has herself to fault for that. Tsubaki's the only girl she hasn't put the moves on right away because maybe, just maybe, she's in love with her, and it scares the living shit out of her.
"Tsu," Liz says, turning toward the dark haired girl when she's brave enough to speak, "I know you're new to this whole college thing, but I can guarantee you, I'm not the girl you wanna move in with. My life is fucked up enough. You know that."
"I do, but I'm willing to take a chance," she smiles.
It's the soft, gentle smile she's given Liz countless times during their friendship. The one that twists her heart and makes her head fuzzy and sets butterflies to flutter in her stomach.
The one Liz has wanted to kiss off her lips on multiple occasions when they're sitting across from each other in a cheap 24hr diner talking about dumb life things. The one Liz has fallen in love with after seeing it appear so many times on the floor of her apartment at two in the morning after a night of partying at Black*Star's latest frat party. The one Liz has memorized through shadows and faint moonlight before drifting off to sleep in the comfort of her bed.
She pulls her gaze away from Tsu and takes another drag of cigarette. The nicotine is a cheap substitute for the taste she craves.
"I'm a one night stand," Liz whispers, staring up at the stars. "I'm not someone special who you come home to and do domestic shit with. I deal drugs, get drunk, and kiss girls at parties. I'm not someone you wanna be with."
Her heart tightens when she feels Tsubaki's fingers curl away from her, hears the sharp intake of breath as she gasps, and shuts her eyes waiting for the fallout. It was bound to come. She's known that since the moment she saw Tsu dancing in the multicolored lights in Star's living room. Since those dark blue eyes locked on hers and refused to turn away.
But then the hood of her car creaks a little with Tsubaki's movements. A comforting heat wraps around her, and Liz's heart lurches when the girl's hand laces with her own.
When she opens her eyes, she's staring into dark blue, and she swears they sparkle like the stars in the sky behind her.
"You are someone I wanna be with," Tsubaki says, so quietly Liz is afraid the wind will blow her words away, but the heat spreading over her chest holds them close. "I don't really approve of the drugs thing, but I'm willing to tolerate it if it means being with you."
Despite herself, the corners of Liz's mouth tug slightly into a smirk, and for the first time in a long time, she's genuinely happy. All she wants to do is jump around and scream out across the city lights how much she loves this girl and flaunt her around for all the straight couples to glare at them because for the the first time ever, she might have found someone who wants to be with her. Not just a one night stand, but possibly a life partner.
She buries the thought, though, because it's best not to get her hopes up too soon. The last thing she needs is to be disappointed by yet another person she loves walking out of her life.
"You're gonna regret this," Liz whispers.
"I don't think I will."
Before she can register what's happening, Tsubaki leans in toward her, whispers a simple request ("May I?"), and Liz all but begs for her to close the remaining distance between them ("Please").
Tsubaki tastes better than what Liz had imagined. She tastes like cotton candy and cherry chapstick mixed with the lingering of smoke from the cigarettes Liz has been smoking, but it's everything good in the world nonetheless. Her heart bursts in her chest, and she sees sparks of fireworks explode on a backdrop of beautiful stars twinkling in the sky. Liz sighs in content as she tangles her hand in Tsu's hair, finding solace in the softness of it. It's probably the best kiss she's had throughout her life, and she doesn't want it to ever end.
It does, but briefly.
Tsu's lips are back on hers in no time, slanting against Liz's, and she feels the ghost of a smile in the second kiss. And the third. And the fourth. Each one is better than the last, and Liz finds herself toying with the idea of being with this girl for the rest of her life. Of taking chances and allowing herself to fall in love because Tsubaki is worth it. Tsubaki is worth so much, and she makes her happy.
Isn't that enough reason to maybe move in with the girl?