Dear Mamma and Daddy,
I don't know if you'll ever read this letter--in fact, I'm fairly sure you won't. I've no idea how it would get back to you. But I'm writing it anyway, because, like always, I need you.
We're doing well so far. But it's hard. Mamma, it's so, so hard. I wish that I could rewind my life, back to when I was happy.
Not that I'm not happy now, sometimes. But it's not the same. I miss my friends--I miss both of you. The rest of the ducks are great, but they aren't my family. Well, Tanya is, but you know how she is. I can't talk to anyone the way I used to talk to you two. You were always so strong for me...that's what makes me able to be strong for everyone else, I think.
It's been so horrible. I've seen such terrible things...seen people do such terrible things. Nothing ever prepared me for it. Nothing could have, really. War isn't pretty, ever. Not until the dead are all burried and flowers cover their graves, and historians can forget the pain and the sadness and concetrate on the honor and the glory and the heros. It makes me sad to think that all the great martyrs in Puckworld's history left behind someone, probably several someones, who loved them as much as you love me. It makes me so guilty to think that you must believe I'm dead. I know the pain it will cause you. Be strong, and believe in me...and yet I wonder if the hope will bring you more pain than the certainty. Uncertainty is a nasty thing. I'm uncertain that pursuing Dragaunus was the right thing to do. I'm uncertain that just because Dragaunus is kept here, the war is over at home and Puckworld is really safe. I'm uncertain about my feelings for Wildwing.
I'm certain what they are, though, and I'm certain it scares me. It's dangerous, even if he did feel the same way--something which I'm not at all certain about. I can't afford to compromise his judgement, or my own. I just don't know what to do. I'm so alone. I have to be.
Be strong for me. I need to believe that you're going on, wherever you are, and that whatever you're doing, you're still as you always were--calm, strong, confident. As you taught me to be. As I have to be. I love you both so much.
Love, your daughter,
Lila Marie LaGlace