(Oh my goodness. I apologize for the delay. I had to take a bit of a sabbatical, school has gotten a bit crazy. But, I am happy to finally provide the sequel to Home. I hope you enjoy it, I would love to read any thoughts you have. In other words, please review!)
"For when a child is born the mother also is born again." Gilbert Parker
The short car ride to the hospital is a blur. My mind is still slightly reeling; even though Emily gives me courage and I know this is the right thing to do, fear has a tight grip on my heart.
Once inside, I am put in a wheelchair and whisked away to the maternity ward. I am changed into a gown, eased into a bed, and hooked up to several machines. Emily is by my side, holding my hand and sponging my forehead, occasionally stepping out to update the small group of our coworkers who have now congregated in the waiting room. Somewhere around one in the morning, my mom arrives. She plants a kiss on my cheek and immediately takes her place opposite Em.
I push and push and push. The contractions come steadily closer together and the pain intensifies until I honestly don't know how much more I can take.
Then, just as the sun peeks out over the horizon, tinging the sky with pink and orange, I give another push, and the head is born. Karen cautions me not to push for a moment as she suctions the baby's tiny little nose. Then I'm given the green light and I push with all my might, and out come the shoulders followed by a tiny body.
Our child is silent for a moment as Karen hurriedly clamps the cord and wraps them in a blanket. The entire room seems to freeze, hanging delicately in the balance. Then Karen rubs her hand along the baby's tiny back and a cry echoes across the delivery room.
"Is the baby okay?" I ask at the same time Emily says "Is everything alright?"
Karen has the baby at an examination table near the wall and she and the nurse are working intently. For a moment, neither replies, and I can't help but look up at Emily, fear gripping at my heart.
Then Karen turns back to us, a tiny bundle in her arms. "Would you like to meet you daughter?"
And then she's in my arms, and the tears are pouring down my face. Emily's crying, my mom's crying, the entire room seems to buckle under weight of the love for the tiny being in my arms. She is red, and wrinkled, and her little eyes are squeezed shut against the light. Her nose is the smallest thing I have ever seen and when I run my fingertip over her tiny lips she purses them. Emily smooths her hand over the soft fuzz on the top of our baby's head, before leaning down and pressing her trembling lips to her tiny head. Then she gives me a kiss on the cheek.
"You did it, JJ. You did it, she's here. This is our baby!"
"I know," I tell her, my voice hoarse. "Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
She nods and we can't help but giggle about how amazing it is, the fact that our baby, the one we had anticipated for so long, was finally here.
"Is she healthy? Is she okay?" Emily asks Karen.
Karen smiles as she removes her gloves. "She is. Ten fingers, ten toes. She's little, even for being five weeks early, but that is a strong, strong little girl you have there. We'll probably keep you here for a few nights, y'know just to keep an eye on things."
We both nod at her and then turn back to our baby. She begins to wriggle in her blanket and then one minuscule hand peeps out. Emily offers her index finger, and the baby grips it with surprising strength.
We all coo over how marvelous she already is. My mom smooths my hair away from my sweaty forehead. "You did wondrously, Jen. She is absolutely breathtaking."
I lean into her. "Thank you, Mom."
The baby wriggles again and then opens her mouth, letting forth a high, heartbreaking wail. "Someone's hungry," Mom jokes.
She gives me a kiss and then steps out of the room to give us some privacy. I lower the top of my gown and begin to feed her.
Emily rubs my arm as we look down at her. "She is honestly the most tremendous thing to ever exist. Ever. She's… oh my god."
"She really is," I agree. "We did so well."
"Didn't we?" she asks with a tearful laugh.
I reach up and wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her in for a kiss, celebrating this one moment of perfection in the middle of a chaotic world.
A few hours later, once the baby has been fed and I have cleaned up the best I can, the other members of the BAU join us. They crowd around the bed, taking care to not wake our daughter, who is now sleeping in my arms.
"Everyone, this is Charlotte Rosaline." I say softly, the pride and wonder strong in my voice.
Penelope is crying, trying to stop the happy tears from smudging her makeup. "Oh you guys! She's just the most darling thing I have ever seen! She's so tiny and beautiful and amazing. I can't even look at her! That's how wonderful she is!"
Morgan pulls her into his chest and gives us a grin. "Seriously though, nice job ladies."
Rossi presses a kiss onto the top of my head. "How are you feeling, Jen?"
I can't help but laugh. "Exhausted. Ecstatic. Pulled apart at the seems, but in the best possible way."
"Congratulations- you've officially joined the ranks of motherhood!" he proclaims.
Hotch rests his hand on Emily's shoulder. "And what about you?"
She presses the back of her hand to her forehead. "I… I don't know if I can even put it into words. It doesn't feel real yet. Does that make sense?"
"Of course, of course."
Charlotte wriggles in her blanket before letting out a big yawn, revealing the most minuscule tongue.
"Oh my goodness! Oh, can I just say, I am so glad you had a little girl? I am going to buy her the cutest little outfits. And matching shoes. Oh and little hair bows!"
"Baby girl, she barely even has hair yet! What are you going to attach the hair bows to?"
"Rest assured, Chocolate Thunder, where there is a will there is a way."
"And she's completely healthy?" Reid asks from the foot of the bed.
I nod, smiling down at her. "Yes. She's completely perfect."
"Well, what do you expect? Dal frutto si conosce l'albero, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," says Rossi.
"Could… Could I maybe hold her?" Morgan asks.
I look up at Emily before nodding. "Yeah. Here you go, careful with her head." He tentatively takes her from me, and I didn't think she could look smaller than she did, but nestled in his arms she barely looks like a real baby.
I take advantage of everyone's eyes being focused on Morgan to lean back in the bed. I wasn't kidding with Rossi, I am exhausted. My body is sore in places where I didn't even know it was possible. I take a moment and close my eyes, letting out a deep breath. I feel a hand on my cheek and I open my eyes. Emily leans down and rests her forehead on mine.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine."
She presses a feather light kiss to my lips. "I didn't know I could feel this much love. Thank you, Jayje. Thank you for this. Thank you for her. And thank you for being the most wonderful wife I could have ever asked for, I love you."
"Oh Em. I love you so much." I capture her lips in another kiss. She joins me on the bed and wraps me in her arms as we Morgan hand Charlotte delicately to Rossi.
I bring my lips near her ear. "We have so many wonderful things ahead. I mean, also some tough, probably scary things ahead. But as long as you're by my side, I know it will be okay." She kisses me again, and we settle in to watch the center of our universe meet the rest of our family.
