Good Evening,

This is a 30 AU challenge with the Mad Child! This is 3 out of 30. Afterwards, please go check out the Mad Child's version of this AU if you hadn't already!

The theme for this AU is: Pirates.

Alucard, Seras, and Sebastian ARE HUMAN in this!

Plus! I like to think of this as a sequel to "Roomies".

Oxford Not Brogues

Their Treasure

Lorelai Victoria, a young noblewoman of four, stood disheveled but smiling brightly before two tall men or, in other words, pirates. She wore a long white elegant dress, one a princess would wear, and she held a sword at her side, getting ready to fight. She had big brown eyes and long blonde hair that flowed gorgeously down her back. Alucard and Sebastian smirked down at the tiny princess who was guarding the treasure they were greedily trying to steal. They held the swords up in hope to intimidate the girl, but her smile only widened and she giggled as she raised her sword.

"En garde!" The little princess exclaimed. She then pounced forward, hoping the end of her sword would meet with Sebastian's stomach. But the man was graceful; he easily flew backwards and used his own sword to block her attack. The four year old giggled more. From the corner of her eye she saw Alucard move in to strike, but he purposely went slow so she could react. Lorelai spun on her heel and held up her sword to block his attack, even though he could have easily sliced his opponent. "The treasure is mine, pirates!" She exclaimed sternly and once more threw out her sword. The sword grazed over Alucard's arm. In the child's mind, she saw blood spurt from his arm as he fell to the ground in defeat. Before she could make the final blow, Sebastian stepped forward to block her attack with his own sword. Lorelai gasped in surprise and glanced up at the tall man. He snickered at her as he picked up Alucard's sword, now possessing two swords. Lorelai's mouth fell open.

"That's cheating, Daddy!" She announced, but bravely bounced forward to start sword fighting with him. While the little princess was occupied fighting the pirate. Alucard quite casually walked over to the princess' treasure, a plate of cookies. He sat down on the bottom step of the porch and helped himself to one of her chocolate chip cookies. He waited patiently for her to realize that her treasure had been stolen from her.

"That treasure is too sweet for children. You will get a cavity." Sebastian lectured his daughter playfully while he effortlessly blocked her attacks. He didn't bother trying to attack her because it would have been far too easy to 'kill' her, even though their 'swords' were actually tin foil shaped into a sword for playing.

"I will brush my teeth afterwards! In the meantime, you're going to walk the plank!" Lorelai yelled.

"I'm the pirate," Sebastian chuckled. "I'm the one who should be forcing you to walk the plank." He reminded her, but his daughter was as stubborn as her mother and had a mind of her own.

"Walk the plank!" The princess demanded and she waved her sword in the air. Her father closed his eyes in defeat and hung his head with a deep sigh.

"Very well," He responded and dropped his swords willingly.

"The plank!" The child cried out, cheering that she had won this battle. Her father walked over to their pool and like a good pirate, he fell in with a giant splash. Lorelai laughed and cheered when the splash got her all wet. She looked back at her father to see he had surfaced. His dark locks of hair stuck to his face, but he had a smirk on his face as he stared up at his daughter lovingly.

"You've won, my dear." He announced with a hand on his chest and a bow of his head. "You may have your treasure as long as you brush your teeth afterwards."

"Yes! Thank you, Daddy!" The small blonde giggled. But when she turned around and found her other daddy chilling on the porch eating her cookies, her jaw dropped. "What?! Daddy! Those are mine!"

"Your mother made those cookies for everyone, not just for you." Sebastian corrected her as he climbed out of the pool. His clothes were soaked, but it was a nice sunny day and surprisingly a bit hot, so he didn't much mind.

"I know," Lorelai sighed. "Sorry," She pouted her lip before she slowly approached Alucard. She put her hands behind her back and gave him a small, embarrassed smile. "May I have a cookie, Daddy?" She asked. Her father gave her one of his infamous toothy grins before he held out the plate of cookies to her. "Thank you," She chirped happily and took a cookie. She ate her cookie and hummed at the taste of how delicious it was. Her mum's cookies were always so warm, gooey, and soft. It was Lorelai's favorite. Whenever her mother made those cookies or bought her some candy, Lorelai and her two fathers would always end up playing Pirates because they tried to steal her sweets. Sebastian snuck up on his distracted daughter and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her to his soaked body causing the little troublemaker to laugh. She struggled in his grasp and tried to get free to attack him with her sword, but she couldn't get free.

"Ew! You're all wet! Get off!" The girl giggled. "Mum! Daddy's getting me all wet!" Much unexpectedly, Alucard easily grabbed the child from Sebastian's arms and threw her into the pool. Being a good swimmer, the four year old easily swam her way back to the surface. She brushed her wet hair back out of her eyes to stare up at her smirking fathers.

"Now you're wet," Alucard commented smugly. Lorelai gave him a look that was very much like her mother's whenever they pissed her off. The child playfully splashed water their way, getting Sebastian even more soaked and Alucard's pants wet. Again, nobody was expecting it when Seras suddenly came up behind him and pushed him into the pool. Alucard landed in the pool beside his daughter, causing a giant splash and a small wave. Lorelai laughed as she smiled brightly up at her mother who proudly stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Now you're wet," Seras sneered. Alucard smirked up at his naughty lover before he jumped up to wrap his arms around her and pull her into the pool with them. Her mother shrieked as she fell head first into the pool, making even more waves as the adults moved around wildly in the water. Sebastian chuckled as he reached in and pulled his daughter out in fear that their rough housing might just drown her. Lorelai clung to his neck while he carried her over to the porch. He sat down, set her in his lap, and grabbed the plate of cookies. The two sat there eating the snack while they were entertained by Alucard and Seras play fighting in the water.

"Tomorrow can I walk the plank?" Lorelai asked as she munched on her cookie.

"Pardon?" Sebastian muttered and glanced down at the soaked blonde.

"Walking the plank is fun!" She giggled. "Tomorrow, can you be the princess and I can be a pirate?"

"He is already a princess!" Alucard exclaimed from the pool before he pulled Seras under water with him. That comment made a huge smile cross over Lorelai's face and she giggled as she went on eating her cookie. Her parents were so incredibly weird, but she loved them.

The End

Yeah, I couldn't really write a fic where Alucard, Sebastian, and Seras were pirates. I find that a little weird to be honest. But I just thought, what if Alucard and Sebastian were playing with their daughter and they were mean old 'pirates' trying to take her 'treasure'. I just thought it would be a cute little fic. It has the theme of the AU. It may go against the rules, but I'm not entirely sure. I guess that's up to you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this AU! Please go check out the Mad Child's version of this AU if you hadn't already!

Oxford Not Brogues