i. the beginning of the end

Any other demon would kill to get their hands on the Antichrist (full name The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness) but Izaya was, in fact, not any other demon.

And yet, with a snap of his fingers, he, the Antichrist, and the angel Shizuo manifested into his apartment in Shinjuku like it was no big deal. (At the very least there was no killing involved.) As it was his idea to steal the child, Shizuo had been the one to perform the angelic miracle that knocked the Antichrist unconscious, while Izaya was in charge of their escape route. Equivalent exchange. It shocked Izaya, really; Shizuo could be so stubborn, and rarely used his powers, especially not at Izaya's request. ("The last thing I want to do is fall like you did," he had told Izaya, to which Izaya replied, "I didn't so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards.")

Shizuo had scoffed in return. Really, he could be quite the horrible listener. As Izaya wasn't your typical demon, Shizuo certainly wasn't your average angel. Honestly, it was a miracle he hadn't been cast down into Hell yet. Maybe then he'd stop complaining about being vaguely allied with Izaya.

...Well, six thousand years had passed since their first meeting, and their bickering had yet to cease, so Izaya wouldn't hold his breath. Besides, 'vaguely' was no longer the right word to use. They had just kidnapped the Antichrist together.

As he gazed down at the peacefully sleeping child that he had laid down on Izaya's couch with the care you'd find in a parent, Shizuo murmured, "Christ, we just stole a kid."

Izaya cracked a smile. "Language, angel."

"Shut up, Demon."

With a sigh, Izaya slid his fur coat off his shoulders and cradled it. Unusual uncertainty overtook him, and he was left with no choice but to ask, "So, what now?"

Perhaps they should have thought this through a little more.

. . .

After eleven years of influencing the ordinary human child they had both believed to be the Antichrist, it had come to Shizuo and Izaya's attention that Kuronuma Aoba was not the boy who would start Armageddon. (Although he very well could. Izaya had watched him set fire to his older brother's room with a smile that was anything but innocent. That was only the beginning.)

Izaya had, by some miracle, discovered the whereabouts of the true Antichrist, Ryuugamine Mikado, and learned that he wasn't too far away. All along he had been in the neighboring district of Ikebukuro, Izaya's home away from home, and Shizuo's, well, home. Heaven had hardly been a home for either of them. Perhaps that helped explained, on some basic level, how the two of them managed to tolerate each other enough to continue meeting up every once in a while after all this time.

Not that either would admit it. Especially not Shizuo.

Shizuo could count on his hands how many days he had left to channel his inner angel (something that should have been easy, as he was an angel) and snap some sense into this oblivious child so that he wouldn't summon the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and ultimately end the world via the vicious battle Heaven and Hell so desperately craved. It was all part of the Ineffable Plan, something that in the far earlier years of his life Shizuo might have found some way to justify, but in recent years had grown to loathe, possibly even more than he did Izaya.

All he wanted was to live a peaceful life. No Angels, no Demons, no war.

"You've spent so much time here that you've deluded yourself into thinking you're human," Izaya had told him one day. "But you're not. You never will be."

Lord, was he absolutely insufferable. Some days Shizuo hoped that time could reverse itself and make it so that he had never met the serpent in the Garden of Eden that would soon become the unrelenting thorn in his side, but time was something not even their kind could conquer. He had already narrowly avoided ending up on God's metaphorical doorstep enough times; he wasn't about to do anything else that could lead him down that path.

You know, except kidnap the Antichrist and go against God's direct orders.

Well, things were off to a rather good start. The child hadn't woken up screaming as he had feared.

"Where am I?" Ryuugamine Mikado had asked rather calmly considering his circumstances. Yup, definitely the Antichrist. And that wasn't even including the fact that his name meant 'emperor of the dragon's peak.' His parents were unknowingly eerily perceptive. "And who are you?"

Shizuo managed a faint smile in hopes of reassuring him. "Sorry for scaring you, kid. An emergency came up and we'll be taking care of you while your parents are away."

Izaya snickered from across the room. Shizuo shot him a glare. Mikado, noticing their silent conversation, asked again, "Who are you?"

"I'm Shizuo, and that's Izaya," Shizuo said. "We're family friends." Still rather uncertain, Mikado nodded in reply, prompting Shizuo to add, "Just let us know if you need anything."

"Actually..." Mikado started. "If it's not too much trouble, I'm supposed to meet up with my friends later."

Please, God, be human friends. Please. Shizuo prayed. They had been fortunate enough to separate Mikado from his Hellhound, but Shizuo didn't exactly doubt his ability to summon the Four Horsemen without it. Smiling as if he didn't have a care in the world, Shizuo said, "Not at all."

What are you doing? Izaya's stare seemed to say. Shizuo returned his glance, sheepish.

One surprisingly delicious breakfast later, courtesy of Izaya, and Mikado was out of the house, strolling the streets as a man on a mission. After giving him enough time to wander off without arousing suspicion, Shizuo and Izaya followed suit, keeping their distance but staying close enough to keep a good eye out. Of course they had already failed step one. Of course. Shizuo wasn't about to make the child uneasy, however. Antichrist or not, he was just a kid.

"You know," said Izaya. "For an angel, you're pretty good at lying."

"Guess you're rubbing off on me."

Shizuo missed Izaya's prideful smirk, his attention solely on Mikado.

Mikado's friends were, much to Shizuo's relief, not the Four Horsemen. Instead, they were a perfectly normal trio composed of Kida Masaomi, Sonohara Anri, and Mikajima Saki, three ordinary human children who just happened to have a completely unordinary friend.

Ordinary, save for the fact that they were a part of a gang Mikado had founded and named the Dollars, a name that belonged not just to this group of kids but to the most infamous color gang in Ikebukuro. Shizuo wasn't one to believe in coincidence. Everything happened for a reason.

"Kids will be kids," Izaya murmured, not at all trying to hide his enthusiasm.

Frowning, Shizuo said, "Don't get any ideas. We're trying to stop Armageddon, remember."

Izaya shrugged. "That doesn't mean I can't have a little fun."

It absolutely meant that Izaya couldn't have a little fun, but Shizuo knew there was no stopping him. All they had to do was be quiet and keep their distance; close enough to know what was going on, but far enough away that Mikado wouldn't notice. He had proven himself to be quite perceptive right off the bat. As long as they didn't let him out of their sight, Shizuo kept his anger in check, and Izaya channeled his angelic roots, they should be fine.

Well, that was what Shizuo thought before the Hellhound appeared.

For a moment - just a second, really - he thought he felt Izaya's hand grip his shoulder tightly. When he turned to face him, he felt the color leave his face as he realized Izaya was actually holding onto him. He had never seen him so afraid before. Actually, now that he thought about it, he had never seen him afraid period. Cautiously, he asked, "Izaya?"

"What?" Izaya's voice was as steady as he spoke.

"I should be asking you that," Shizuo replied. "What's going on?"

Izaya, finally realizing he was digging his nails into Shizuo's shoulder, pulled his hand away and crossed his arms, grumbling in a low whisper, "I don't like dogs."

"You have got to be kidding me."

Seven days until Armageddon.

author's note

I hate to make a habit of posting multi-chapter works while they're unfinished again, but I had to make an exception with this one. The idea just clicked in my head and suddenly, everything made sense. I had so much fun writing this chapter and I can't wait to see what I can do with this story. In my opinion this is honestly shaping up to be my best work yet; I hope I can keep it that way.

A lot of things in this story will be different from Good Omens (they already are), so if you haven't seen/read it yet, don't be too concerned about spoilers for the time being. And if you don't care about spoilers, great! But seriously, if you haven't yet, please go watch it. It's only six episodes long and it is amazing. I bought the book immediately after finishing it if that's any incentive. I'd love to write something for the ineffable husbands that stole my heart, but for now I'll see how things play out in the DRRR universe.

I can't promise regular updates. I wish I could, but I'm basically throwing myself into this blindfolded. Just know that I absolutely adore this concept, and I hope you do too! I've been possessed by some intense desire to write (this is the third fic i've put out in three days, something that has never happened before) so hopefully I can keep that up! And for those of you who are waiting for more of The Story is Eternal, don't worry! I'm nowhere near done with it yet. If all goes to plan I should have the next chapter out on July 16th.

If you enjoyed this, follows, favorites, and reviews are highly appreciated. I'll hopefully be back with another chapter soon!