:WARNING: Hinata. Violent emotions. Rape. Not graphic.
italics- her thoughts
bold- Lyrics
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to the world of Naruto. I don't own the Song, that belongs to Epica.
Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself
Behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose
The soul of this bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever
She thought that maybe, Itachi had been right. In this charade of happiness and incompetence foolery, all of it she had managed to almost convince herself. Although her brain screamed for her to show how she was not weak, not a liability a worthy heir, one that could beat Neji and her father, one that wasn't worse than her little sister her heart, what little remained, was beating in a manner that indicated that she didn't care. What used to make her smile, although in mockery of true contentment like the sight of naruto's sunny blonde hair, or the dawn, or her mother's picture now made her feel like she was on a roller coaster of emotions no I don't hate you, of course I like it, why would you think that? After all, that stupid ex-fiancé of hers Itachi Itachi why didn't you kill me when you left the note was annoyingly smart in some things. They may say he was an emotionless block of ice, but he had been the one who understood how she felt Hinata why did you listen maybe you would be better off as the prodigy you truly are, not hiding your skills. Perhaps she should… leave. Yes, that was an idea worthy of consideration. But for now she had a mission with her two teammates who likes dogs and bugs anyways and she'd have to pretend again that there was no easy way to simply kill the target then leave not like they'd listen to her anyways.
Indoctrinated minds so very often
Contain sick thoughts
And commit most of the evil they preach against
Annoyances. If she had to needlessly stutter incomprehension once more and fake turning tomato-red every time she saw Naruto who was obviously in love such a stupid word with Sasuke and pretend to be shy and quiet, she would go mad not that she wasn't already. Perhaps that idea she had, leaving, yes! Get me out of this stagnant cesspool of idiocy! should be put into practice. All she really had to do was disappear. What had the Hokage said about that new degree for missing nins? If they had done no harm though she would really like to injure a few people before she left then the name would go down as a missing nin, and no hunter nins would be sent after them that's good, because though she's strong sge's not that strong and Hinata could finally LEAVE.
Don't try to convince me with messages from God
You accuse us of sins committed by yourselves
It's easy to condemn without looking in the mirror
Behind the scenes opens reality
She had to go to an assembly for all the shinobi on the active list though she wasn't going to be on that list much longer where they talked about how it was all for the best of the village, and how the village was home but not for her never for her and that they not 'we' anymore, not now that she had decided to leave were still the strongest village. Hypocrites, the lot of them. Who cared if they were the best, only survival mattered. She decided that she would leave in a week. That gave her enough time to gather supplies and other necessities she needed she could leave right now but she wanted that new Icha Icha book that was coming in-they would all be so surprised, sweet hinata-chan reading such a dirty book but it wasn't dirty, in it at least she could pretend she was happy you're fooling yourself you're not happy, not anymore anyways, once she had that she would be going.
Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget
She hated him hate hates hated hater. Because of him she was lonely and longed for a different place better place safe place friendly place discreet place where all the monsters would leave her alone but not all monsters were tangible and if they could disappear just go away far away then she wouldn't be so lonesome and so aware of her own existence mortality all things die even humans especially humans. She can't forget won't forget must remember forever and ever that he was the reason she left but not the only reason she had her own reasons too and maybe she should find him, just to see him then go away no! stay away stay away from him he's a monster too but he's like me but either way she can't won't shan't ever forgive him even thought they math on the insides they're monsters no she won't.
Virginity has been stolen at very young ages
And the extinguisher loses its immunity
Morbid abuse of power in the garden of Eden
Where the apple gets a youthful face
Stupid man how could he how DARE he take it from her? The only thing she had that was HERS hers her own not his never his never anyone's but hers and he took it. She was angry, for the first time in a while not since ever has she been angry can't be angry or she'll lose control and her control is slipping oh no need that come back come back and all she's worked for freedom justice herself is going up in flames and she can't stop it put it out and she should be scared terrified afraid but she's not she's exhilarated excited keyed up energized and she know she's going to do something that she'll regret take it back but she doesn't care. She would find him one day and kill him because it was HERS not his never his hers hinatas and maybe she'd feel like she got it back. She learns a way to track anyone, never mind that it's forbidden she doesn't live in a village anyways and it's her life to spend and uses it.
You can't go on hiding yourself
Behind old fashioned fairytales
And keep washing your hands in innocence
She thought that it would be easy finding him and harder killing him destroying him may his non-existent soul go to hell but it was the other way around. Finding him and going there took almost a year, what with all the false but not false nothing's a lie nothing's a truth trails he laid around the five great countries. She went, she saw, she eradicated erased. Itachi who hurt her who saved her who taught her how to hide was gone. She thinks she should feel something but she doesn't she never does not anymore once a long time ago she did but not now not anymore not ever again and what would she do know? She's curious about the state of her not family relatives and she goes back to Kohona. It was a stupid idea dumb how could she have miscalculated so badly? But she did it anyway. She said goodbye never see you again, and never looked back from her death. Hinata was no more.
Cry for the moon, it won't reach you soon, but that's fine in this pathetic world of mine.
The underlined ending is mine. Mine, i tell you!
I don't like the last paragraph. Don't like it.
Yeah, so… I have no idea where this came from. I think I originally intended it to be a suicide fic. For… Iruka? I don't know. In fact, I'm not altogether sure why Itachi is in here. But really… Itachi was the Uchihas' heir, Hinata the Hyuugas. Betrothal, anyone? Yes, I know that is defiantly not cannon, but who wants to but Hinata with Naruto when he's with Sasuke, and Shino and Kiba are most definitely together too. The other option was Neji, and that (although incest) is kinda cute, but i didn'y feel like writing that.
But really. The girl kicks butt. And could be hiding anything under that exterior of hers… angst, anger, psychoness… all make wonderful plot bunnies. And they just won't leave me alone…
Yeah, this was never intended to make a lot of sense. I think I need to start writing some Hetalia fics. Wars make suitably interesting plot bunnies, and History seems to stick in my mind better if I perhaps write fics using imaginary characters… ^-^ Suggestions are welcome. I will write them, I just might take a long time doing so.
Reviews?