Title/Prompt: God of a Good Time
Rating/Warnings: Explicit
Word count: 4100
Summary: Evelyn wants to discover the fabled hieroglyphs in the crumbling temple of a god of sexual pleasure. Rick and Ardeth go along to keep her out of trouble. (It doesn't work.)

Notes: Written in August 2016 for dreamiflame as part of Rare Pair Fest 2016. "Something made them do it" is a favourite trope of mine, but I've never written it before. IDK, if anyone could discover a magic sex spell hidden in some hieroglyphs, it'd be Evy.

Please note that I've played fast and loose with any mentioned mythology.


Evelyn watches Rick cleaning his guns by the light of the fire, the glowing flames catching the sweat on his jaw and the dust still in his hair from a long afternoon of riding into a hot wind. He's engrossed in his task, and she can see oil and grease shining on his long fingers, all his tools laid out neatly beside him on a leather mat.

Behind them, the Nile is silent and deep, the current moving swiftly, the moon's reflection a silver sheen on its surface. The night air is growing chill, and is filled with the sounds of buzzing insects, the gentle jingling of the harnesses tethering the camels, and the rough slide of Ardeth's knife against the whetstone in his hand.

Evelyn sits by the fire and watches the two men silently. They're both focused on their tasks, firelight catching their hands and casting shadows, eyes and minds intent with purpose. She has a book open on her lap, but she's not reading.

She should be weary with travel, but she's brimming with adrenaline and nervous energy. She looks to the horizon, where the silhouette of the temple is outlined against the stars. They're sure to reach it by noon tomorrow.

"This guy's not gonna come awake and chase us, is he?" Rick asks, checking the sight on his pistol.

"No," Evelyn retorts, perhaps a little too defensively. "Bes is a protector. Well known for driving off evil, and — and…" She does so try not to ramble, but Rick knows how seriously she takes all of this, and if he's going to bloody well ask, he can bloody well listen…

"Bes was god of fun," she says, paging through her book.

"Oh, about time we met one of those," Rick says absently, searching through his tools for something.

"Well, fun might be a bit of a stretch," she clarifies. "He was… More like a god of war, I suppose."

"Yes, I can see how you'd get those two things confused," Rick says, pausing to give her a slightly incredulous look.

"Well," she hastens to explain, "if we're going to get specific, let's call him a god of protection. He cherished all the goodness in life, in particular children, and he thwarted or prevented evil. He was like a — well, a saint, you could say. God of childbirth and protection, and he also encouraged goodness, love and happiness. And in turn, things which make people happy, like dancing, and music…" She trails off before she gets to the next words on the page — and sexual pleasure — but she notes the way Ardeth's dark eyes lift to watch her, as though expecting more.

"He was god of a good time?" Rick suggests.

"I don't think it can be summarized quite like that."

"And now we're breaking into a temple to find a box of flutes or somethin'."

Evelyn tuts. "We're not breaking in, O'Connell, and we're certainly not going to find anything of worth." She gestures to the silhouette on the horizon. "This is not exactly off the beaten path, after all. I only want to —"

He gives her one of those looks that sends a flood of heat right through her lower belly, all her nerves alight with awareness. "Hieroglyphs," he says with a grin.

She clears her throat and looks down at her book again. "Yes, hieroglyphs."

Rick starts to tidy his tools away. "Well, if there's anyone who can read 'em, it's you, doll," he says, and Evelyn can feel the blood warming in her face.

Eventually she looks down at her book again, but the words have started to swim together. She's not interested in Bes, in particular, or whatever trinkets might still be gathering dust within the stone walls of the temple, but she is interested in the idea of the fabled hieroglyphs on those walls… It doesn't matter what she's already been through and what she's already proved, there's always more to go through, always more to prove…

She watches the flames of the campfire leaping and sparking in front of her. She feels strangely restless and tightly wound, the heat in her belly from Rick's loaded glance having never quite gone away.

He whistles as he packs away his tools, and Evelyn watches him through her lashes as she pretends to read. At some point, Ardeth stops the steady grinding of his blade against the stone and settles with his boots pointing at the fire, his head tipped back to view the stars. Evelyn watches him too, and wonders how she'll ever repay him for daring to enter the desert with her again after what happened last time.

She and Rick leave Ardeth with the open night sky and the warmth of the fire, and crawl into their tent, trying not to drag the sand in.

"Tell me more about these hieroglyphs," Rick requests, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oh, I've told you a thousand times," she says, sounding cross without meaning to. She smooths her hands across his shoulders and pushes his shirt down his arms. "You don't listen, O'Connell."

"I do," he argues. "It's just when I think back on these conversations I remember the pretty face in front of me instead of the words you say…" He crinkles his nose at her and kisses her before she can respond, and she laughs and pushes him away.

"Not one of the books I have holds a complete translation of the engravings on the temple walls," she says, excitement bubbling away again. "They all reference additional hieroglyphs but they don't have the translation. I'm simply going to find out why." She almost shivers with anticipation. "Imagine if I could complete all those texts by providing a full reading."

Rick tugs his boots off. "Sounds thrilling," he grunts.

"Well, not quite your cup of tea, perhaps," she says, feeling a little disappointed.

He's quick to reassure her. "If it thrills you, it thrills me," he said. "Anyway, I'd rather be bored than dead… for the most part." He grins. "This one sounds nice and safe."

The night is still and clear enough they can hear Ardeth's low voice as he mutters to the stars. "The last words of many a foolish man."

Rick pulls a face at Evelyn and she giggles and tumbles onto his bedroll with him, arms and legs tangling and Rick's mouth hot on her skin.


The temple is prettier than Evelyn had dared hope it to be. The stone walls are strong and tall, sharply outlined against the blue sky, and the shadows beyond are thick with green foliage. Trickling water bubbles cleanly out of the earth before it disappears into a deep pool surrounded by squat little stone figures.

"Bes," Evelyn explains, gesturing to the stones as she scoops up a handful of water and tips it against the back of her neck. She's sweaty and dusty, the sun almost at its peak.

"I can take him," Rick says, looking at the nearest dumpy little statue with an unimpressed look on his face.

Evelyn shares a slightly exasperated look with Ardeth.

"Do you know where we should start looking?" Ardeth asks, one hand on the blade on his hip.

"I think if we enter from this side we'll be in with our best shot of finding them," Evelyn says, reaching for her book again and perching her glasses on her nose. "Most of the passages which reference these fabled hieroglyphs make mention of water." She gestures to the pool with a delighted grin on her face. "Behold."

Ardeth and Rick exchange a glance which indicates they're much less enthusiastic about things than Evelyn is.

"Okay," Rick sighs. His gun is in his hand. Just in case. "Let's go."

Ardeth leads the way. Evelyn is happy for him to do so — despite her insistence that nothing at all will happen, it's hard to forget their last adventure. She eyes the curved blade in Ardeth's hand and remembers exactly what he can do with it.

They take a moment to let their eyes adjust to the shadowed temple, the stone walls cool even in the high heat of the day.

Rick gestures to an engraving which Evelyn childishly wants to giggle at — a tall figure grasping a ludicrously large, erect penis.

"He's well-endowed," Rick whispers, giving her a filthy grin.

Ardeth glances at him with a straight face. "You think so? You have never seen a naked Medjai, my friend."

Rick splutters and Evelyn snorts and smothers her laughter into her hand, her face flushed with heat. Sometimes Ardeth still surprises her, and she has to remind herself that despite his soft voice and careful manner, he's still a man who spends most of his life in the desert with other men, probably telling crude jokes and forgetting what it's like to be in female company.

"What sort of — uh — temple…" Rick glances around. "What sort of temple was this, Evelyn?" The syllables of her name have a slightly sharp note of panic to them.

"Threatened by a little sexuality, O'Connell?" she asks lightly, taking dancing tip-toe steps after Ardeth. "The Egyptians certainly weren't shy about it."

"I'm not threatened," Rick says gruffly, not to be outdone by dusty old mummies.

Evelyn rolls her eyes at him and he checks to make sure Ardeth isn't looking before he wags his tongue at her in a positively crude fashion that makes her skin tighten all over.

They enter into a room with a high ceiling, shafts of light spilling through the crumbling stones. Ardeth gestures to the far wall, glancing around the empty space, and Evelyn draws a breath.

"Look," she whispers. The far wall is scratched and imprinted with neat lines and symbols, as well as more carvings of Bes and of the figure they'd seen near the entrance.

She crosses the room impatiently, ignoring Rick's warning about traps and trips and god-knows-what-else.

The temple isn't like one of the isolated pyramids or tombs she's explored with him before. It's not like Hamunaptra. This place has already been combed clean — anything of danger here has already been discovered and overcome.

Rick stands beside her in front of the wall. "These are the hieroglyphs you've dragged us across the desert to find?"

"They are," she confirms, hardly able to believe she's finally standing in front of them. She clutches her book to her chest. "Let's see…" She pushes her glasses up her nose and starts searching for the words which often tend to bookmark the mysterious blank space in her texts. "I'm looking forwaters of paradise," she says, wishing Jonathan was with her to assist.

As miserable as he is at reading hieroglyphs, he's better than Rick.

As she reads, she starts to grow frustrated. There's nothing to indicate anything will be difficult to translate at all… She skims faster, pacing in front of the wall and muttering to herself. Rick and Ardeth stand back and wipe the sweat from their brows and try to pretend they can't see Evelyn growing more and more frustrated.

"Uh, Evelyn?" Rick ventures after a while. "Maybe we should —"

"Here!" she exclaims, and she drops her book and slaps both palms against the wall in excitement. "But, oh… It's not… I mean…"

"What does it say?" Rick puts his arm around her shoulders.

"Well, I… That is…" She can't hide how bitterly disappointing it is. "I mean, they're not hidden or in ruin or even difficult to read…" She desperately scans the wall with her eyes, seeking some hidden message — even takes off her glasses in case it will help — but the missing hieroglyphs from all of her texts are right there in front of her, clear as day, with nothing to indicate they're even remotely mysterious.

Rick squeezes her gently and asks again. "What do they say?"

"You of noble spirit, find yourself filled with goodness and love," Evelyn says, reading slowly, but sure of her interpretation. "Take pleasure in the flesh and the soul." She wrinkles her nose. "Something along those lines, anyway." She shifts her weight and crosses her arms. She can't understand why those who have been here before her haven't simply included those words within their own interpretations.

Rick's arm his heavy over her shoulders, and she feels hot and slightly breathless. She shrugs him off lightly, but his hand slips to the base of her neck and trails down her spine very deliberately. She shivers and turns to him with wide eyes.

"What," she says huskily, "do you think you're doing?"

"Uh…" He swallows and shakes his head. "Nope, forget it." His hand squeezes the base of her neck again and she shudders.

"Rick," she says sharply.

He grins lazily at her. "I said forget it, Evy."

"Are you drunk?" she asks disbelievingly. The heat in the temple must be getting to them both — she feels giddy and exhilarated. Her heart is hammering and the touch of Rick's bare fingers against her skin is delicious. A light breeze has snaked somewhere through the walls, and tickles at her collar and her wrists.

The look Rick gives her is practically predatory, and she shivers again and suddenly all she can think about is tearing off her clothes to bare her skin to the air and to touch him but oh, hell… She takes a shaky step back and looks around for Ardeth, because she needs to get Rick out into the fresh air so he can shake off whatever's come over him…

Ardeth is bent over, hands on his knees, and when he raises his head she can see a gleam in his dark eyes that wasn't there before, and it sends a wash of heat from her head to her toes, fire bubbling in her blood.

"Goodness, it's warm," she says breathlessly, and Rick's fingers are fumbling with the button at the collar of her shirt, and then Ardeth straightens up with a look of absolute purpose on his face, drops his scimitar in the sand and strides towards them.

Evelyn gasps a breath of surprise, and Ardeth rakes his eyes over her again before he reaches for Rick and kisses him hard, Rick's face caught firmly in his wide hands.

Rick's fist tightens in Evelyn's shirt and her buttons pop and snap open. She staggers a little and Rick's arm drops around her waist and pulls her in so she's almost sandwiched between his body and Ardeth's, breathless with the stuffy heat of the temple; breathless with the rapidly rising need to touch and kiss and get undressed.

Rick breaks the kiss with nothing more than a gasp and a faint look of surprise on his face, before he lowers his head and starts kissing Evelyn instead, hands tearing at her clothes. Her trousers pool at her feet and Ardeth's mouth is suddenly hot and warm against the back of her neck, his beard rough against her skin, and she whimpers because it all feels so good, even if she doesn't understand where it's coming from.

She tips her head back and Rick sinks to his knees in front of her as Ardeth's long fingers slide through the loose folds of her shirt and stroke over her breasts. Her hands reach back and she can feel his erection through his robes, hard and curved, and she makes a high-pitched whine at the back of her throat, overcome with need.

Rick's tongue trails wetly up the inside of her thigh and she leans back against Ardeth and slings one leg over her husband's shoulder, shuddering in relief when his mouth starts working between her legs, his hands sliding up to cup her behind, squeezing soft flesh and dragging her closer.

For a moment she tries to think sensibly, but this feverish desire to touch and be touched simply won't let her thoughts run in any sort of a coherent manner.

"Good," Ardeth mumbles, like he's reading her mind, pulling at her shirt to graze his mouth against her shoulder, and she nods and tips her head back so he can kiss her thundering pulse.

Her legs are shaking and she bucks helplessly as Rick slides two fingers into her with ease, twisting and stroking as he works his tongue through her folds, and when she comes her cries echo off the ceiling.

Rick staggers to his feet and Ardeth leans forward over Evelyn's shoulder and starts kissing him hungrily, jostling her between them, Rick's fingers still thrusting into her as she whimpers and grinds against him.

Ardeth's fingers slide warm between her buttocks and she shivers and leans her head against Rick's chest, gasping, one hand still fumbling for the sash on Ardeth's robes. His fingers slide down to meet Rick's, where she's wet and slippery and she moans for more, making noises she's never made before in her life.

Rick bites at Ardeth's lip and Evelyn reaches for him, grazing her teeth over his Adam's apple. He drops to his knees again, dragging her with him. Ardeth follows, bracing her between them, his fingers still sliding back and forth between her legs, one finger teasing slow entry between her buttocks.

She sags against Rick, settled in his lap with Ardeth supporting her weight from behind, her shirt still hanging from her shoulders, her fingers dragging through Rick's hair.

"I love you," he whispers against her cheek, and he sounds so ecstatic and so raw with feeling she shudders in his arms, pleasure wracking her from head to toe. They've both got fingers inside her and it's overwhelming and almost too much sensation — she gives a breathless laugh and leans back to kiss Ardeth, rough in her enthusiasm.

He pulls the pin from her hair and it comes tumbling around her shoulders. She can smell the scented oil she combed through it the previous night. Rick moans against her throat and lifts her higher, and finally he slides his cock slowly inside her, taking his time. She pleads with him to go faster, "Please, please, Rick, please," but he grins that smug grin of his and makes her wait, blue eyes shining as he watches Ardeth's hands squeezing and pinching at her breasts, her brassiere pushed down and out of the way.

She's pressed between them tightly, and she can feel Ardeth's erection still pressing against her as Rick thrusts slowly inside her. She thinks about the crude engraving at the entrance to the temple and she wants to laugh; she remembers what Ardeth said and now she wants to see if she can take them both at the same time.

Curiosity has always been her most prevalent trait.

She reaches back to tug at Ardeth's robes. "More," she pleads, and his hand dips between her legs again. Rick's breath hitches and he bites gently at her earlobe and Ardeth's fingers pinch and grab at her breasts and tease up and down the sensitive curves of her rear until she's shuddering and bucking again, grinding down as Rick thrusts into her, his fingers marking bruises on her hips. Ardeth leans over her shoulder to offer him breath-stealing kisses, deep noises breaking at the back of his throat as he nips and bites at Rick's mouth.

"God," she whimpers, and her thighs strain as she tries to keep herself anchored between them. She can feel Ardeth's fingers probing at her again, saliva slick on his fingers as he eases inside her. He sinks his fingers deeper, stretching her slowly, and the added sensation and pressure is almost overwhelming. She feels feverishly hot and almost delirious with pleasure, and what's more she can feel it coming from Rick and Ardeth too.

Rick slows his pace as Ardeth shuffles closer on his knees, and Evelyn whimpers and wriggles between them, leaning forward against Rick and trying to relax as Ardeth eases his erection inside her. She suddenly doubts she can take all of him but she whispers encouragement to him and reminds herself that she's nothing if not determined, and that neither man would ever mean to hurt her. She lets her eyes flutter closed and she buries her face against the warm curve of Rick's neck, wondering if they can feel each other within her.

Rick breathes a curse against her throat, "Fuck, Evelyn," and he's never said it in front of her before, ever, and she giggles at his sudden lack of control before he bites down on her shoulder and thrusts into her again, hard, her knees scraping the stone floor. There's a delicious edge of pain thanks to Ardeth's length also inside her; all of her innermost places filled. She feels incredibly vulnerable and incredibly loved, and she tips her head back against Ardeth's shoulder and looks up at the crumbling ceiling to where the sun shines through and blue sky can be seen.

They work together, timing their thrusts, and Evelyn lets them take over — closes her eyes and feels the sweat gathering in the hollow of her throat and behind her knees, hums with pleasure as her men rock against her, arms embracing her tightly, her body trapped between them.

The fire builds slowly, flaring between her legs and spreading outward until all of her nerves feel alight. Her fingers tighten on Rick's arms, and she leans back and kisses Ardeth, moaning into his mouth before she tenses and bucks helplessly, pleasure rippling through her from head to toe. She's still gasping her approval as Ardeth's hand cups the back of Rick's head and he leans over Evelyn's shoulder to kiss him again. Rick whimpers softly and his fingers dig into her skin. She nuzzles under his chin, humming contentedly as they both spill inside her and gradually still, gasping for breath.

"We should… we should go…" Rick's eyes are a little glazed, and his hair is still mussed from where both Evelyn and Ardeth had their fingers wound into it moments before.

They gather their clothes and make their way back to the pool outside, legs trembling, skin still feverishly warm. Evelyn sinks onto the stone steps and sits waist-deep in the water, mind buzzing like an angry hive of bees, tremors running through her as she comes down from a high she's not sure she properly understands.

Rick splashes down beside her, and Ardeth wades out into the water, his bronzed skin shining in the sun.

"What the hell was that," Rick asks flatly, raking his hands through his hair.

"I don't know." Evelyn gives him a drunk sort of smile. "Taking pleasure in the flesh and the soul?"

Rick clears his throat and splashes water on his face. The afternoon sun is still hot, and the water is cool and clear.

"It is too late to leave today," Ardeth says, wading back towards them. His tone is casual, like he thinks nothing of what just happened. "We will have to stay overnight."

Evelyn sneaks a glance at Rick. "I'm sure we'll manage."

"You're not setting foot in that temple again," Rick says. "Those hieroglyphs can stay lost, as far as I'm concerned."

"Well, surely I can't be the first person to make sense of them," Evelyn says, leaning tiredly against his shoulder. "Though I'm not sure the teams of scholars who came before me would necessarily like to recount their experiences with Bes and his blessings. Recording it in a public text could be a little confronting, I suppose."

"Perhaps you need a noble spirit to read his blessing," Ardeth says with a smile. "And so perhaps you are indeed the first to receive it. Maybe that is why the blessing has remained hidden all these thousands of years."

Evelyn beams back at him. "Oh, I do like that idea."

"Blessing?" Rick coughs. He glances at Ardeth, and Evelyn wonders if he's embarrassed by what's just happened.

But Ardeth sinks down on the step beside her, beads of water running down his back, and Rick reaches out and traces one with his fingertip. Ardeth tilts his head in silent satisfaction and Evelyn sighs and snuggles happily between them, bare skin against bare skin.

"Well," she says, "I concede I don't need to go back inside the temple for any reason… I'm sure we can find another way to pass the time until we need to leave. Hm?" She beams up at her husband and he kisses the end of her nose.

"You're pushing your luck," he whispers.

"Always," she agrees with a grin.