"Dave Letterman at Taco Bell" turned into "Jazz at McAdams"
This is a one shot thing! It's a day of Jazziness and trouble. He is at it again as he is disturbing the peace at The Drive-Thru! I was inspired by the video of Dave Letterman joking around with folks at taco bell and just thought…"What if Jazz did something like that?"
So this is STUPID MOMENTS WITH JAZZ! Enjoy!
All rights go to transformers, me, and Dave letterman. :D
1st day
"Hello. Welcome to McAdams. How may I help you?" Jazz spoke as clear as he could into the mike. This is the first day on the job and he was hoping this one was a keeper.
"Yes. May I have Two Mumbogon Energizer Burgers and a Diet drink?" A femme replied as she described her order.
"What kind of drink?"
"Oh sorry-um-a Diet blue energon."
"Sorry we are out of that."
"Then can I have a Diet pink energon?"
"We are out of that too."
"Really-well-fine. Then just a regular blue energon."
"Ma'am we are out of that too."
"Oh for the love of-Fine! Then get me any drink."
"What kind of drink?"
"Any kind!"
"Well I need to know what kind of drink you want so I can tell you we are out of it."
"Huh? What? Fine! OK! Then I'll have no drink. I just have the other stuff."
"Can you repeat your order again. I forgot."
"Two Mumbogon Energizer Burgers."
"Wow that is a lot for one femme. Are you sure you can eat all that?"
"Excuse me? Can I just have the bill?"
"For what?"
"For what I ordered God dammit!"
"Oh Two Mumbogon Energizer Burgers?"
"Yes."
"Sorry we're out of them."
"Are you serious? Well what do you have?"
"McAdams Classical Energizer Burgers."
"Fine. I'll have a medium of that."
"Medium referring to what?"
"The burger idiot!"
"Not you? Oh OK."
"Huh? What? Are you calling me fat?"
"No ma'am. I'm calling you medium."
"Frag you, you sonofaglitch!" *SCREECH* as the tires squeal away.
2nd day
"This how we do it! It's Friday night! This how we do it! Oh This is how we do it! All the hands are in the air! This is how we do it!" Jazz was singing into the mike pretending he was on stage and unaware of the person screaming at him from the Drive-Thru.
"Yo! Dude! Hey! Stop singing you sound like a fragging dying retro-animal as it is being stabbed in the chest repeatedly. Save me the grief! Oh God!"
"Huh? Oh Hello there. This is McAdams-"
"No freaking duh! Can I order already?"
"What may I get you sir?"
"Um…Let's see…Ok. Can I have a double decker?"
"Are you Praxian?"
"Huh….no….why?"
"Because if your Praxian the double deckers are half price."
"…."
3rd day
"Can I have a number 6?"
"Of course ma'am. How was your day?"
"Oh good thank you…how was yours?"
"It was horrible matter of fact. I was trying to make homemade energon wraps and when I went to separate the energon dough with the cutter it slipped out of my hand and cut off my foot."
"Oh dear! Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine I just need to get enough money to replace it with a donor's foot."
"Oh dear…well…good luck.-uh-What is the total?"
"It will be 4.50 batteries."
"Alright."
"Would you like to donate 1,000 batteries for the Jazz Fund?"
"The wha'?"
"The Jazz Fund."
"1,000? Are you crazy?"
"Would you say that to orphans huh? That if they were crazy?"
"The Jazz Fund is for orphans?"
"A orphan in particular."
"No thanks."
"You are turning down a chance to help someone's life? How dare you! Now you will have to live with the guilt that you just killed someone! Oh god it hurts…I'm going to die…..arghhhhh-ughhh!…."
"…..sir? Hello?"
"…."
"Hello?"
"Pull up to the next window. Thank you and have a nice day."
"….", the femme looks puzzled but shakes her head in disapproval. "This world is a fragging broken mess. I blame the government. Filthy bastards poisoned our children…"
4th day
"May I order a large whooper and a medium curly energies Also a compacter with lots of spread."
"Will that be all?"
"Yes?"
"May I ask you something?"
"…what?" the femme said with an attitude and clear impatience.
"See I haven't eaten all day and the policy is that we aren't aloud to order our own food so can you buy me a triple decker wrap with energy sauce?"
"…uh no."
"Ma'am please. I'll pay for it I just need you to order it."
"Order it yourself."
"I can't! The policy is that we can't buy our own food."
"Ok whatever…"
"So what can I get you?"
"I said already. I want a large whooper and a medium curly energies Also a compacter with lots of spread."
"And…"
"And your wrap-whatever but I'm not paying for it."
"Okay ma'am."
"What's the total?"
"That will be 26.47 batteries."
"26.47 batteries for what?" She yelled very disgruntled by Jazz.
"For a large whooper, medium curly energies, a compacter with lots of spread."
"What is the total for that?"
"7.12 batteries."
"Than why did you say 26.47?"
"Well the triple decker wrap with energy sauce is pretty pricy. Its imported from Crystal City."
"Don't mess me you fragger! Just give me the bill!"
"Okay so what did you order?"
"A LARGE WHOOPER AND A MEDIUM CURLY ENERGIES AND A COMPACTER WITH LOTS OF SPREAD!"
As Jazz is talking she speeds off and a mech pulls up to the speaker and catches Jazz's plea.
"And don't forget a triple-decker-wrap-with-energy-sauce. It's a bit pricy but I really appreciate it. I'm so damn hungry it isn't even funny. Do you got that ma'am?"
The mech looks around dumbly and answers with a brisk and husky voice.
"She's gone chief."
5th and last day before Jazz gets fired
"Hello what may I get you ma'am?"
"Oh no I was just listening to you talking with the other customers and your being a bit rude?"
"Well both of my parents are rude so I get it from them. Would you like to order anything?"
"Yes can I have the special?"
"No you can't."
"Excuse me?"
"We don't have a special."
"What is your name?"
"Jazz."
"Jazz, can I speak to your manager?"
"I am the manager."
"The manager of what?"
"Jazz the manager of The McAdams!"
"This has got to be a joke."
"This is not a joke ma'am. This is Jazz in a McAdams."
"Are…."
"Am I what?"
"Are you that rapist on the 12 o'breem new that was on this morning?"
"No I am not a rapist. I'm a doctor."
"A doctor?"
"Yes. The Doctor of Love. You want a check-up?"
"Depends. What do you look like?"
"Jazz, Manager of The McAdams"
"Are you a midget, because I don't date midgets."
"Oh frag…."
Enjoy? Sorry if ya didn't! It was a one-shot thing! But review anyway. It inspires me :D