Disclaimer: I do not own clamp – if I did … well I don't, so there isn't much point in wishing, isn't there?
Title: Gray
By tomoyohime8
She was gray, not black, not white, but the hazy, murky, indistinguishable color in between.
She could not be either, and it was her destiny to be neither and both at the same time.
Hitsuzen was her master, and it decreed that she abandon things like feelings and dreams.
Years and then decades and centuries went by, whirlwinds and pools of things she no longer could remember.
She was there, and yet she was not there, and everything was only just a part of something, and that dreams were only for those who were lucky enough to not be like her.
She was alive, but was not really living.
And then he came to her in a riot of red.
Red like wine on a hot summer night.
Red like freshly spilled blood.
Red like the moon on a lunar eclipse.
She hated him at first sight, as much as she could be allowed to hate anyone, she supposed.
He teased her and infuriated and exasperated her, invading every inch of her space and making it his own.
She hated him for his freedom, hated him for giving her a taste of what he was free to have and what she could only imagine.
She hated him who showed her that there was no such thing as gray, and that gray was only a mask that hid true color.
She hated him for showing her that she did not have to stay gray, that there was a whole myriad of colors within her reach, and that everything he had could be easily shared with her if she wanted to, if only she wanted to.
She hated that infuriating smile, the eyes that unmasked her, eyes that knew, and understood her, when she thought that no one could even begin to comprehend.
She hated how he had easily broken down the boundaries she had put up long ago, making her feel again, making her dream again.
She had thought that she could no longer dream.
He had left her a long time ago, but ever since he met her her world had never been gray again.
Her soul had been stained red.
She dreams now, dreams of things to come, things that will be.
Everything was a part of something else but that did not mean that you only had to see the big picture.
It was not her destiny to be either black or white, but to be neither and both at the same time.
But the one thing ichihara yuuko had been able to learn from clow reed was that people make their own destinies, and that there was no such thing as impossible. He taught her that there was more to life than black and white and every color in the rainbow was hers for the taking, if she wanted them.
She was glad she met him, though she'd never admit it, because their meeting was not one of chance, and that everything that happens after that is either a direct or indirect result of that meeting.
There was no such thing as coincidence, after all.
There was only hitsuzen.