I wrote this one-shot over two years ago, when Ozai was just a shadowy figure, hence the title. My reluctance in putting this up was because I intended on integrating it with my Avatar/Naruto crossover fic. As of late I realized that this crossover is way too long considering its barely even started yet and is filled with information that isn't that essential to the plot, namely some backstories. I plan on making backstories of some of the characters from the crossover into seperate fics, this one of them. This is strictly an Avatar fic though and can be made entirely stand-alone, that's what it was its original intention. Anyway, hope you all enjoy it.
Humanizing A Shadow
Ever since I was born I was always alone, no one has ever cared for me beside her...but now she's gone forever. Ambition and Revenge are the only things I have left in this wretched world. My son has betrayed me and my daughter is just a tool for my own ends. My brother is a fool and I shall always hate him. Why, you ask? Well it all started when I was but a child.
My brother Iroh told me what had happened on that day, many years ago. The palace doctors ran into trouble in helping my mother give birth to me. She was dying and they rushed to try and save the both of us.
The doctors tried their hardest, but Fire Lady Illah, my mother, could not be saved. If it weren't for them though two people would have died that day and history would have changed forever.
The doctors soon told my father, Fire Lord Azulon, of my mother's death and showed him his newborn son, me. My Father was furious over his beloved wife's death and called me "a curse". He then decided to get rid of me once and for all.
My Father would have killed me on the spot if it weren't for my idiot brother Iroh. He was always a sentimental fool and pleaded with our Father to spare me. Iroh was always our Father's favorite; he was several years older than me so he was destined to become Fire Lord after our Father died. My Father absolutely loved Iroh and thought he could no wrong. He coddled Iroh so much it sickened me.
My Father listened to Iroh's advice but he still acted like I was truly dead. For most of my childhood I was raised by the palace servants and rarely did I ever spend time with my Father, he was always busy getting ready for Iroh to take his place.
My hatred for my Father and my envy for Iroh grew more each year. Iroh was beloved by my people, the Fire Nation; he became a master soldier and strategist in the War with the other Nations and he was promoted to a general in a matter of months. He even gained a title, "The Dragon of the West, for his ability to breathe flame. He had many friends and also had many female admirers. He finally married one, I don't know her name and personally I don't care, she was just another shining achievement of Iroh's, that eventually died young after giving her birth to a son.
Meanwhile I had no absolutely no friends and my existence was only known inside the Palace walls. The only thing I found for entertainment was reading the massive Fire Nation Library where I learned about the world outside the walls.
I learned about the War and the Genocide of the Air Nomads, but most importantly I learned about the Avatar. I was awed by the power of the Avatar Spirit and wished I had their powers so my Father would recognize me and I would finally better than Iroh. I learned about the most recent Avatar from the Fire Nation, Avatar Roku. According to the books he knew my grandfather Sozin personally. I really wished I was like Roku, he was my hero.
When my tenth birthday arrived my Father decided to send me to the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Boys out of tradition of sending all of the male Fire Nation Royals there, but if it were up to him he probably would have left me in the Palace to rot.
Even in the Academy I had no friends. The other boys feared and hated me because of my title given to my Father as "cursed". I hated them all too, the fools.
There was one person though that completely changed my life. Everyday after the Academy dismissed us I would always look over the gates to the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls in hope of seeing...her.
She was a like a goddess in human form. When ever I saw her all my pain and hatred seemed to fade away. After several days I finally learned her name, Ursa. For a few years I could never have the courage to talk to her by myself though, it was Iroh who helped me out for the first and last time.
Iroh gave me a Dragon's Eye Flower, a gorgeous flower that grew in the rainforests of the Fire Nation and was an impressive gift to give to your special someone. He advised me to give it to and Ursa and tell her if she wanted to go on a date.
I took his advice and actually talked to Ursa and gave her the Flower; she absolutely loved it and agreed to be my girlfriend. She told me that she had seen me almost everyday too. She saw my loneliness and pain and empathized with me. She always tried to help me but she never had the courage, just like me.
From then on I experienced the greatest years of life. Ursa always kept my spirits up now matter how bad my Father treated me. With Ursa' love I no longer envied my brother, I actually felt happy.
Finally when I became a young man I asked Ursa to marry me. She was overjoyed and
accepted. My Father didn't want the marriage but some convincing from his beloved Iroh changed his mind.
A few years passed and Ursa gave birth to our first child, Zuko. I loved Zuko very much, that is, until he betrayed me. Zuko began to spend a lot of time with Iroh and his son Lu Ten. After years of respecting my brother I began to hate him and my son who would rather spend time with his uncle then me. The times of pain and suffering in my childhood came flooding back to me when I ever saw Zuko playing with Iroh and Lu Ten. The old anger and envy returned but Ursa seemed to keep it in control, I just couldn't get angry when she was around so I kept it inside.
Two years passed and our daughter, Azula, was born. Something came over me when Azula started to grow up; it was the urge to not do what my Father did to me. I raised Azula to despise Iroh and her brother. I also discovered that she was a prodigy and began to teach her Expert Firebending. I wanted her to become what I couldn't as a child, to be wanted.
Time passed and Iroh and his son Lu Ten left to siege the Earth Kingdom capital of Ba-Sing-Se. Zuko was saddened by their absence and his continuing avoidance of me irritated me either more. I prayed to the Gods that Iroh and Lu Ten suffer.
Months past and Lu Ten was killed in combat. Iroh was utterly crushed and I enjoyed every second of it. When Lu Ten's death and Iroh's retreat was announced I asked my Father if I could take the throne because of Iroh's weakness.
My Father still loved Iroh and was furious that I, a curse to the Royal Family, would dare ask him such a question. He told me that he would make me suffer like Iroh is suffering and threatened to kill Zuko. I didn't care; I hated the boy, who cares if the little brat died? But it seems Ursa loved Zuko even when I didn't and overheard my talk with my Father.
During the night she killed my Father and left forever.
The next day when I heard the news of my Father's death I was smiling to myself overjoyed that my Father was finally dead and that I could ascend the throne. But when I learned of Ursa's whereabouts I was stunned.
The guards had discovered that she had killed my Father and they chased after her. Their chase ended when they cornered Ursa on one of the cliffs and she jumped off into the ocean so not to be captured. The guards said she was most likely dead.
After hearing this I dived into a deep depression that lasted for days. I never left my room for some time and the servants were worried about me. At first I contemplated suicide but then something inside me was unleashed, the hatred and pain of old that I kept inside for all this time. Ursa was the only thing keeping the anger and revenge from devouring me and with her gone the rage and sadness made me go insane.
I cursed the Gods and this World for the all the pain and suffering they've given me. I vowed from that point on that I would make everyone feel the same pain and suffering I felt, especially my traitor son Zuko, who was the cause of Ursa's death, and Iroh, who I had always loathed.
I eventually scarred and banished my son Zuko. Iroh, always caring for the boy, decided to go with him in exile. I knew now that this was the perfect opportunity to kill them both but I wanted to give it some more time.
Eventually I heard of the Avatar's return. I was overjoyed to hear that my childhood hero, Avatar Roku was still alive but when I discovered it was an Airbender brat my hopes were crushed yet again. I ordered his death and after the Siege of the North Pole, Zuko and Iroh as well.
Ambition and Revenge is all I live for now, I have no purpose besides it. I won't rest until I get my revenge and plunge this world into eternal hatred and suffering. No matter what I will always love you, Ursa, my beloved wife, my only true friend, and my only happiness in this cold and cruel world...
The End