Disclaimer: I do not own DragonBall Z. If I did, there would be naughty, naughty things going on…

Warning: Contains yaoi, which is boyXboy. Please don't read if you don't like.

It's All About the Eggs

Oneshot

As the sun rose, the Son house was still as quiet as a mime's performance. Goku and Chi-Chi lay asleep under their warming comforter, lost in all their dreams. It seemed that nothing could disturb them, as their faces were stories of peace and content.

Goten stirred a little, the sunlight beginning to pour onto his face, like golden apple juice into a freshly washed cup. His eyebrows began to force themselves down to help close his eyes even tighter than they were to block out any unwanted light. However, this failed to keep the boy asleep as he groaned and rolled over to his side. The sun hit his back and seemed to warm it in an enjoyable beam.

Goten tried to force slumber upon his own body, but his hopes were destroyed as he heard the sounds of his mother going out into the kitchen. She was banging and clanking things together. Not on purpose, he was sure. Nevertheless, he lost all power to continue sleeping. He got up out of bed and made his way to his bedroom door.

By now, Chi-Chi was used to her youngest son walking out of his room in the morning wearing simply a loose t-shirt and boxers, though as she saw it once more, she frowned at him.

"Cooking breakfast?" Goten asked as he took a seat at the dinning table.

"Cooking for your father, yes," came Chi-Chi's response which seemed to be dripping with disappointment and annoyance.

"What about me, mom? I need to eat too, you know."

Chi-Chi grabbed a few eggs from the 'fridge and looked over to her son. "Well, seeing as how you decided to wake up late, you don't have enough time for me to cook you breakfast."

Goten blinked a couple times, then glanced to a clock nailed up on the wall above the stove. "Shit!" He exclaimed as he rushed back to his bedroom.

"Goten! Language!" Chi-Chi yelled after him. She quickly forgot what had happened as she saw her sleepy looking husband walk into the kitchen, rubbing his head. She made a note of how cute Goku looked when he was fresh out of bed and still dazed. The saiyan yawned loudly and looked to his wife.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he took the chair Goten was previously occupying.

"Making you eggs, silly." Chi-Chi turned to face him and smiled.

"Eggs?" Goku questioned.

"Why yes, of course. It's what you make for your wonderful husband in the morning after a lovely night like that," she said in a somewhat sensual tone.

"Lovely?" He asked.

"Why yes, dear. Don't let that ridiculous Vegeta fill you with his perverted and violent thoughts on it. I don't want it to ruin a good thing."

"Vegeta?" Came Goku's fourth question in a row.

"I hear the stories from Bulma. The way she talks of it, she enjoys it! But never mind that, my hungry Goku needs his food," Chi-Chi said as she cracked the eggs into a pan. As soon as they hit, a sizzling noise filled up the kitchen.

Goten came running back out into the kitchen. He grabbed a piece of bread and bolted to his mother. "Bye mom!" He said as he placed a kiss on her check. He stuffed the bread into his mouth and walked hurriedly past Goku. He spat out words though his mashing of bread which seemed to be, 'bye dad'.

"Have a good day at school, honey!" Chi-Chi called out as she watched Goten race out the door. "That boy," she sighed. "Always late, and always goofing off on his school work to talk to girls." She rummaged though a cupboard, pulling out salt and pepper shakers. "I don't see where he gets it from. Neither you, me, nor Gohan were ever like that…"

Goku watched his wife cook him breakfast with a goofy smile. "Just because he's ours, doesn't mean he has to be like us," he said with a small chuckle. "Let the boy do as he likes, at least he's happy."

Chi-Chi walked over to the table and placed down a plate in front of Goku. There sat in front of the saiyan a big pile of steaming scrambled eggs. Goku could feel the drool dribble down his chin as he hungrily dug in to his breakfast.

"We'll have to have a 'lovely night' more often if it means I get a yummy treat in the morning!" Goku said happily after he finished his eggs. He looked to Chi-Chi, laughing. The woman was blushing and smiling at her child-like husband.

Never in her life had Chi-Chi ever heard Goku use the word 'sex', or anything close too it. He never talked about intimate things, and he still always acted the way he did as a kid when Chi-Chi would bring them up. He was always so innocent, naïve and just utterly… Well, clueless. But she didn't mind, that was one thing that she would always love about her husband.

--

Goku and Chi-Chi stood at the front door of the Brief's residence. They had been invited for some late evening tea and cakes. Goku squirmed in the normal, everyday, human-like clothing Chi-Chi put him in. He was in a white, long sleeved undershirt, with a grey t-shirt on top of it. For pants he was wearing some dark blue jeans that looked a bit too tight for him, and white sneakers. "Chi-Chi, this is so uncomfortable… Why do I have to wear it?" Goku whined.

Chi-Chi ignored him as she rang the doorbell. An upbeat looking Bulma answered the door. She giggled at the two as she asked them to come in. Goku noted that her happy behavior was much like Chi-Chi's after 'lovely nights'.

"Bulma, did you have a lovely night as well?" Goku asked in a genuinely curious tone.

"Goku!" Chi-Chi yelled, embarrassed by her husband's manners. She was also embarrassed by the fact that when Bulma and Chi-Chi were younger, they would refer to sex as a 'lovely night'. She only prayed that Bulma didn't remember.

But the smirk on her friend's face proved quite the opposite. "On the contrary, Goku. My night wasn't very… Lovely." Bulma put a large emphasis on the last word, and gave Chi-Chi a smug smile when she did.

Goku didn't witness any of the non-verbal communication between the two as he looked over to an angry looking Vegeta sitting on the couch. "Go ahead and take a seat," Bulma said. "The tea is all poured and there are some delicious cakes I bought for us."

When Goku heard the word 'cakes' he immediately took a seat next to Vegeta. The prince cringed and scooted a little ways away from the taller man. The women sat on the couch that was facing the ones their husbands were residing on. In between the two couches was a coffee table with dishes filled with different looking cakes on them. There was also four cups of steaming tea, and a teapot in the very middle of everything.

Goku was drooling and the sight of all the colorful and beautifully decorated sweets. He smiled, and noticed Vegeta though the corner of his eyes. The saiyan was looking away from everyone and made no sign of wanting to eat, drink his tea or to even be there. Goku frowned little, but the need for cake out-weighed Vegeta's attitude.

At that moment, Goku took a bit of cake which had a little strawberry nestled into a swirl of frosting. Goku took a second to admire the look of the cake before he decided it was time to admire its taste instead. He began to shove the slice of cake into his mouth and chew, swirling his tongue around to catch as much flavor as he could before he swallowed.

After a while, Goku noticed that the two women were very deep into a conversation. He took this opportunity to get up and sneak away. He walked through the familiar home and found his way to Vegeta's own bedroom. He giggled at his smooth getaway and opened the door. He went in and closed the door behind him.

Five minutes had passed, and Vegeta seemed to be counting each second of Goku's disappearance. He thought it was no fair that the buffoon could get away from this mindless meeting of people. He was rather jealous. He looked to the girls and realized that they had no idea of the other man sneaking off. He took this opportunity to follow in Goku's footsteps.

Vegeta made his way to his room, having never the smallest suspicion that Goku would already be in the room. The prince opened the door and his eyes went immediately wide to what he saw.

There sat a smiling Goku, sitting on the floor, his naked body giving Vegeta rushing thoughts of what that idiot was doing. He looked around at the clothes on the floor in a rather messy fashion. Vegeta was pretty much speechless.

"Oh, Vegeta!" Goku said with his trademark goofy smile. "Sorry, these clothes Chi-Chi put me in were just so uncomfortable that I had to get out of them for a while. I hope you don't mind."

Vegeta's brows went down to show a sharp glare. "Of course I mind!" He yelled, entering the room, shutting the door as soon as he was in. "My own personal space is not a playroom for you to flaunt around your body!"

"Flaunt?" Goku asked as his head titled to the side. "I'm not flaunting, I'm just relaxing."

"How can you relax when your genitals are in plain sight of my now traumatized eyes?!" Vegeta demanded.

"Well you don't have to look!" Goku said as he covered his groin with his hands. He looked around and grabbed the grey t-shit, which was the closest article of clothing, and placed it in front of his crotch. "There, problem solved."

"I beg to differ! Get your damn clothes on now, you idiot!" Vegeta was now flustered as he turned his back to Goku. "Do it!"

Goku frowned. "But Vegeta, those clothes are just so tight! My body needs to take a breather from them."

"If you're going to complain about it, and be naked in my room, I advise that you don't let a woman dress you!" Vegeta growled and clenched a tight fist with his right hand. He was just about ready to let Goku's body meet his fury.

--

"Oh, I'm sure he and Vegeta are up to no good again," Chi-Chi said as she put her hands on her hips. She stood at the front door, seeming ready to leave. "He'll come back home soon enough."

Bulma smiled to her friend. "Yes, I'm sure. It's probably better they ran off anyway, it gave us a nice chance to talk."

Chi-Chi nodded, thanked Bulma for the evening, and left.

--

"All I'm telling you is to get some damn clothes on!" Vegeta said as he picked up all of Goku's clothes and threw them at him.

"Vegeta," Goku whined, stretching out the 'a' in a cute manner.

"Stop protesting me, you clown!"

Goku grabbed the undershirt which had landed on his head and tossed it back down to the floor. "I know why you're so cranky!" He said in a tone of enlightenment as he stood up, his naked body staring Vegeta in the face.

The prince cringed and looked away, trying to hold back a burning blush. "What do you mean?"

"You're all moody because you didn't have a lovely night!" Goku smiled and took a couple steps closer to his fellow saiyan.

"Lovely night? What the hell are you talking about?" Vegeta asked as he looked at Goku's body through the corner of his eyes.

"Bulma told me you two didn't have a lovely night! That must be why you're so angry today! It makes perfect sense!"

Vegeta replayed in his mind what Goku just told him. "Do you mean… Sex?" He asked cautiously.

All he got in response was that dumb smile.

Vegeta could feel his whole world crumble around him. Was that idiot implying that the two should…? Oh god, no. Goku didn't have the brains to figure two men could engage in that activity, let alone that apples and oranges were different. The prince was at a loss of what he should do. Wait… Why wasn't he just telling Goku he was a moron? Or shove him away? Or give him a nice kick in the groin? Why didn't he protest the idea of the two having sex.

All those thoughts began to make Vegeta's head spin. He looked to Goku, eye to eye. The two stood there in silence, and awkwardness filled the air. Well, at least for Vegeta. Goku just had on that same smile as always.

"It's okay, you can be the man, and I'll be the woman!" He said in an excited tone. "It'll be fun!"

"Fun?! Do you KNOW what you're talking about, Kakarot?!"

"Uh-huh! Of course I do. We'll have a lovely night!"

To Vegeta's surprise, he made no effort of argument when Goku came up to him and captured his lips in a soft kiss. Well, there was no argument until things were too lovey-dovey and sweet for Vegeta. All of Vegeta's testosterone took over as he pulled away from the kiss and slammed Goku down to the bed. He quickly was on top of the other man and smashed their lips together in a more fiery kiss.

Goku made no struggle to this, as he was totally willing to give Vegeta what he seemed to really want.

Vegeta pulled away from the kiss only to rid himself of all clothing. Goku took a minute to examine Vegeta's nude form. He looked at Vegeta's strong erection, and noticed his own. Goku giggled up at the other man, who made no sign of emotion. Vegeta wasn't able to believe that he was about to do this. But… He couldn't stop himself.

Without warning, and without any preparation, Vegeta lifted Goku's legs a little so he could forcefully make his way into Goku's tight hole. Goku yelped out in shock and pain. Vegeta smirked. He wasn't envious of how that must have felt, having the only form of wetness be from Vegeta's pre-jizz.

Vegeta slowly lifted Goku's legs up so that they were now resting on his shoulders. He looked down at Goku's face to see him make a small cringe of pain as the prince slowly began to make a rhythm of thrusts.

After a while, Goku seemed to ease up a little and get familiar to the feeling, which was now sending him waves of pleasure though his body. When Vegeta could tell that the saiyan was getting a little too comfy with this pace, he decided to crash harder into Goku with each thrust. Goku moaned out in a mix of pain and pleasure, but Goku would never let Vegeta know it was mostly pleasure, since he didn't want to hurt the prince's pride in what he was trying to accomplish.

Truth be told, with each moment Vegeta was getting more rough, Goku enjoyed it all. Obviously, Goku had never been on the receiving end of a 'lovely night'. With him and Chi-Chi, it had always been what she called 'sweet, passionate, and loving'. This was all new to Goku, and he loved it.

Vegeta continued to rough around with Goku for another hour before he grunted, and his load burst out into Goku's body. He pulled himself out and felt his semen ooze out of him, and looked down as some trickled down to the bed. He made a mental note that the sheets had to be washed.

Goku was catching his breath, and after a minute he looked to Vegeta and smiled. "Don't you feel better, now?"

"Oh but we aren't quite finished here," replied Vegeta.

"What?"

"I'm feeling quite generous tonight, and I don't want you to be left out." Vegeta snickered as he removed Goku's legs from his shoulders. He scooted back some and became face-to-face with Goku's penis. He smirked down at the still hard appendage and ran his tongue up the shaft before taking Goku in his mouth.

"Ve-vegeta!" Goku cried almost breathlessly. "That… That's not food!"

Vegeta paid no mind to what Goku had to say. He simply worked his mouth up and down Goku's erection. He came up to the head, and flicked his tongue back and forth. He was pleased with the moans that came from Goku. He then swirled his tongue around in circles before he took all of the other man in his mouth once more.

Goku was breathing heavily, moaning occasionally as Vegeta worked with his penis. He could feel an orgasm coming on, and he warned Vegeta by saying, "The milk is going to spill, Vegeta!"

As soon as that last syllable left the man's mouth, he moaned in pleasure as his orgasm hit. He looked down to Vegeta who sat up and swallowed with a smirk. He then wiped his mouth. "You drank my milk!" Goku cried.

"You idiot, that's not milk, its sperm!" Vegeta said with a sigh.

"I thought… I thought it was milk babies…" Goku said right before he yawned, then instantly fell asleep.

"Milk… Babies?" Vegeta questioned before he grabbed the blanket, pulled it up over him and Goku, then laid down and fell asleep with the other saiyan.

--

In the morning, Vegeta woke to sounds of a nervously screaming Goku. He opened his eyes and sat up. He thought back to what happened last night. He shook his head and got up. He got dressed and went out in search of Goku, to see what the yelling was about.

He found the man in the kitchen, at the stove, fumbling around with a pan. The smell of something burning entered into Vegeta's nose. "What are you doing?" He asked as he sat at the table.

"Chi-Chi says you make eggs for your partner after a lovely night. So that's what I did for you!" He said with a smile as he placed a plate of burnt up scrambled eggs in front of Vegeta.

Vegeta looked down at the blackened eggs, and said, "Not even Bulma makes me eggs in the morning."

The prince then quietly ate every last bite.

(End.)