I watched all four seasons in a week and I kept finding myself angered with Kate and I felt there was need for a massive confrontation, much like the one in Knockout. And I could sense some animosity in Alexis, so ta-da...here is what I came up with! Let me know what you think.
P.S I have that Superman sweatshirt, it is bad ass. And the building is a real building in Nashville.
I own nothing! Sorry for any errors!
Something Worth Waiting For
Det. Kate Beckett pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes burned with exhaustion, she had lost count of the hours she had been at the station. That happened a lot these days. Without Castle around to bring her coffee each morning, the days all blended together. Lately, more often than not, Beckett's nights were spent at the station. It wasn't that she was busy; she just didn't want to go home, where the empty apartment could swallow her whole. There was no one around to pull her out of the dark and scary. Her life line was gone. Castle was gone. And it was her fault. Ok, so she didn't tell him to leave. But she all but held the door as he walked out. And pushed him towards it. Not that she knew exactly what she had done, she knew it was something. And she didn't exactly beg him to stay. She shook off that thought. He said he would be willing to help whenever they needed him. He would be back. He had to come back, right? With a heavy sigh she grabbed her phone as it buzzed and blinked across her desk. She wasn't going home anytime soon.
The crime scene was in a strange building. It didn't have a ground floor; it was like it was set on stilts and had a secure elevator for access. You could go into the elevator but without using the call box to contact the offices, you could not access to the upper floors. Beckett couldn't help but think how amused Castle would be with this building. He would rattle off some CIA theory that would require that kind of security. She had to admit, it seemed a little overkill as far as security went for an office building. However, the victim probably disagreed. It obviously wasn't secure enough. She half heartedly listened to Lanie and Ryan feed her information about their victim. A young woman in her early twenties, strangled and a witness was claiming Superman did it. Oh, Castle would love this.
"S-Superman?" she checked.
"Yep, we are going to canvas to see if any cameras in the area picked up the Man of Steel leaving the scene," Esposito informed.
"Thanks guys," she said with a tight smile and turned towards the elevator. When she got back to the ground floor, she passed her phone from hand to hand. She should call Castle. He wouldn't want to miss this one. She should call. She began to dial the familiar number.
"Are you calling my dad?" A disembodied voice mentioned. Beckett spun around to see Alexis emerging from behind one of the pillars.
"Alexis, you scared me," Beckett breathed, setting a hand over her heart.
"Dr. Parrish needed something from the van," Alexis explained. "So are you calling him?" she repeated.
"He would love it," Beckett grinned. "Superman killing a girl in this weird building,"
"He'll come running. Like he always does," Alexis mentioned with a shrug. "Even if I think he shouldn't," she said under her breath as she dug for her cell phone to call Lanie to buzz her back in.
"Excuse me?" Beckett replied.
"You just don't get it do you?" Alexis spat. Beckett furrowed her brow. Obviously, she didn't. "For the past four years, he has been at your beck and call. He would drop everything for you. And you just torture him," Alexis's tone was angry.
"Me torture him? Are you sure it's not the other way around?" Beckett responded with an uneasy laugh, trying to ease the tension. Alexis narrowed her eyes. She clearly wasn't in the mood for jokes.
"He watched you flaunt that cop and that doctor in front of him. You know that's why he got back together with Gina, right? He needed someone and you weren't gonna be there. That's why he's spiraling back out of control now. You not only pushed him away, but you lied to him. You made him feel like an idiot. And my dad may be a lot of things, but he is not stupid. He is not your toy. You really hurt him," Alexis ranted. "You know, at first we all thought that shadowing you was another one of Dad's antics, but after a while I thought you were good for him. You were keeping him out of trouble. I knew he was safe from himself, if he was with you. Mind you he was up against killers and psychopaths, but he had stopped the sleeping around and the craziness. Now all of that is back, with a vengeance. A lot of help you were," she added, dejectedly. Beckett shifted her weight from foot to foot and swallowed thickly as she took in all the information being thrown at her.
"Wait, Alexis, slow down, lied to him? Hurt him? What are you talking about?" she wondered.
"He knows you remember, he heard you tell that suspect. He told you he loved you and you just ignored it!" Alexis yelled. Beckett's eyes widened and her heart sank. Well, that explained everything. After the case with the news woman bomber, Castle's whole demeanor changed. She had no idea he was behind the glass for that one.
"I...I didn't…"Beckett was at a loss for words.
"You didn't, what? You didn't care? You didn't think you could hurt him? What Beckett? What is it?" Alexis attacked.
"Alexis, calm down, it's just…it's complicated," Beckett sighed.
"Whatever, fine, call him, but just know every second he is with you, knowing you don't love him, his heart breaks a little more. He never cared about anyone the way he cares about you and you just take him for granted," Alexis finished, storming away. Beckett just stared at her retreating from. She had never seen the mild-mannered teenager so upset. Not even at the bank robbery. But even then Beckett sensed some animosity from Alexis. She should have known there was more to the story.
"What was that about?" Ryan wondered as he and Esposito passed through on their way to continue the second half of their canvas the other side of the street.
"Nothing," she lied, shaking her head.
"You going to call Castle in on this one? It's right up his alley," Ryan laughed.
"I uh, I don't think so," she shrugged and walked to her car. She couldn't worry about this now, she had a murder to solve.
Castle barely glanced away from the screen as he heard the door to his office open. He was elbow deep in a scene and wanted to get it down before he lost his writing groove.
"Dad," Alexis called.
"What's up, honey?" he responded, absently.
"I think I did a bad thing," she stated slowly. That got his attention. He set his computer aside.
"What did you do?" he asked with a raise of one eyebrow.
"I might have kinda yelled at Beckett at a crime scene," she squeaked. Castle's eyes widened. Alexis rarely raised her voice and most of the time, when she did, it was directed at him. He wondered what on earth Beckett could have done to warrant an outburst.
"Why?" he wondered
"Well, she was going to call you, I could tell and I knew you would show up and I just... I went crazy," she admitted.
"Why didn't you want me showing up?" Castle was trying to figure this out. Alexis never had a problem with him shadowing Beckett. Mind you that was before he found out she'd been lying to him.
"Because you go back every time, Dad and she just walks all over you again. I don't like seeing you hurt. I know she broke your heart," Alexis sighed, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.
"Come here," Castle urged. She walked around the desk and he pulled her into his lap.
"Everyone gets their heart broken. I'll be ok," he assured her, squeezing her tight.
"Yeah, but not everyone sees the person that broke their heart every day," Alexis mentioned.
"Well, I don't see her every day anymore," he replied. He sighed at that thought. He would love to see Beckett every day. His mother was right, he couldn't just shut his love for her off, but again, that was before she lied to him. The truth was, they were building up to a nasty confrontation and he needed space so he didn't go off on Beckett. So he told her he would only come in on cases that needed his particular expertise. That way he had time to heal and the hurt wouldn't be so raw when he had to see her again and could stave off the inevitable confrontation that was needed to salvage what friendship they had left. What he didn't expect however, was the confrontation coming from Alexis. "You know I have to go talk to her now, right?" he acknowledged.
"Yeah, and I kinda told her you knew she remembered," Alexis added.
"You just set it all up for me didn't you?" he joked. Alexis smiled and hugged him again.
Two days later, the murder was solved. It was not in fact Superman. It was the victim's boyfriend, in a Superman hoodie. Castle would have been disappointed. Castle. That name had been haunting her since the crime scene.
Beckett decided it was time to go home. She needed to process what Alexis had told her and figure out what to do about Castle. She changed out of her work clothes and began to pace her apartment, trying to work through the situation. Her paces were interrupted by a knock on the door. She raked her hand through her hair and went to answer it.
"Ri…Castle, what are you doing here?" she gasped when she saw Castle in the hallway.
"You know, I'm not really sure," he answered, leaning against the doorframe. He looked good in his dark jeans and deep purple shirt, but there was a sadness and a hurt in his blue eyes that she couldn't miss.
"Castle, I'm not in the mood to play games," she sighed, trying to shut the door on him. She really wasn't ready to talk to him. He reached out a hand and caught the door, shoving it back open.
"You, not in the mood to play games? You've been lying to me for months. Playing me like a fool. That seems like a game to me," he accused.
"You should go," she said softly. She didn't know how to handle him like this. He was so angry and hurt. And it was her fault. Usually the Castle she knew was upbeat, and quirky, driving her crazy. This Castle was weighted down by grief and embarrassment, obviously fighting the urge to cry out in all the pain he was feeling. No wonder Alexis went off on her. He didn't move, save to cross his arms across his chest.
"No Kate," he replied flatly.
"Ri…Castle…" Damn, that was twice. Lately, she thought of him more as Rick than Castle. But she always called him Castle. Always. "Look, it's complicated," she tried to deflect him.
"It's complicated," Castle snorted. "Do you have any idea how many times I've used that line when people ask about you and I? No one buys it, Kate. No one. It may have got Alexis to leave you alone, but it won't work on me, not this time," he objected, stepping into the apartment and slamming the door behind him.
"Castle," Beckett warned. He took a step forward and crowded her. She tried to take a step back, but he grabbed her wrist.
"I'm ok with letting the hurt and anger fester. I am a big boy and I will get over this and over you eventually," his tone was even, but his eyes were dark and angry. There was venom in his words that literally stung her. She knew that was his point. He wanted her to feel his pain. She turned her face away, but he grabbed her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. "But when it's enough for my daughter to get involved, it's enough. It's time to talk about this," he bit out. Her breath caught in her throat. He was in her personal space and there was tension rolling off him in waves. It was frightening and arousing at the same time. He leaned in even closer. "And you can call me Rick," he whispered, his warm breath ghosting over her ear and cheek. Beckett could feel the blush flood her body, despite the situation. That made her angry. It was one thing for him to come in and rant about his hurt feelings, it was another thing for him to try and get her worked up. It was working. Defensively, her hands shot up and shoved him in the chest, hard. Castle stumbled backwards a few steps, catching himself against the door.
"Castle, this is not a game! This is not one of you books; this is real people with real feelings. I know I hurt you, but you don't get to jerk me around!" she yelled.
"I am very aware how real this is," he ground out, his jaw clenched. He leaned back against the solid wood door and scrubbed a hand over his face. He was very close to losing it and this was going nowhere. He was either going to start screaming or he was going to press Beckett up the closest wall and kiss her senseless. He fisted his hands and dropped his head back against the door. He only told her to call him Rick because she had already tried to twice. He might have gone about it the wrong way, but the statement was genuine. "Can we please talk?" he pleaded his voice softer than before. Beckett nodded curtly. "Why did you do it, Kate? Why did you lie to me?" he started.
"I didn't really lie, I just didn't tell you I remembered," she shrugged.
"No, you told me you didn't remember anything. You lied and all I want to know is why," he sighed.
"You didn't mean it," she blurted.
"I what?" he gaped, shooting back up to his full height.
"You didn't mean it, Castle," she said, much softer. "You might have thought you did. I'm sure you have some kind of feelings for me, but it's not love. You would've never said it if I hadn't gotten shot," she sighed.
"I don't say those three words and not mean them," Castle defended.
"You've been divorced twice," Beckett snorted.
"Exactly! And why do you think it didn't work out? There was love, but I was never in love. Until you," he pointed out. "I'm crazy about you, Kate," he added at a whisper. Beckett saw the honesty of his statement written all over his face. Maybe he did mean it. Maybe.
"I know! God Castle, do you not think I don't feel it every time to look at me? It's almost overwhelming. But truth be told, I'm crazy about you too," she trialed off. She watched his blue eyes flicker at her admission, but the hurt was still there.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he wondered.
"Because I was still trying to figure everything out. I was just shot, for crying out loud. Not to mention everything that had gone on with my mom's case. I had a lot to process and I didn't need another complication. Hence, I didn't tell you I remembered. It was easier to tell you I never heard you say I love you, than to tell you I didn't have a response for you. It was…complicated," she returned to her original argument.
"My feelings for you are a complication?" Castle's eyes narrowed.
"Yes, Castle they are. Mostly because I'm not sure they're real," she knew it would hurt him more to hear that, but this whole conversation was about being honest. They were trying to get things out in the open. Castle retreated to rest against the door again. He pressed his thumb and forefinger to his temples and released a long slow breath. "I have known you for four years and I can't count the amount of women I have not only seen you with, but have seen you openly flirt with. How can I believe you have suddenly changed your whole lifestyle? Like I said, I'm sure you care about me, but that's not enough, Castle. And who knows, maybe I'm not enough. I don't compare to any of the women in your past," she explained as gently as possible. Castle dropped his hand and met her eyes.
"Of course you don't, Kate. You are head and shoulders above all of them. And as far as my lifestyle, you have known me for four years, and haven't you noticed in the last year, the only date I have been on was with the art thief?" he replied.
"And you kissed her during the case! And what about the flight attendant driving around town in your Ferrari?" Beckett disagreed. The truth was she had noticed, but she figured he was just going through a slow phase, socially. With all the hours he was putting in at the station he just didn't have time to bounce from girl to girl. She'd hoped that wasn't the case. She hoped he really had changed, but she wasn't willing to let herself believe that.
"I only kissed her so she wouldn't catch you coming out of her hotel room! And the flight attendant was my first step in getting over you," Castle defended himself. "Every time I got the courage to try and start something with you, you were with someone else and I told myself I would wait. The fact that you lied to me told me that I was just a joke to you and I realized I was doing nothing more than wasting my time. Can you really blame me for that?" he admitted. A myriad of emotions flashed across Beckett's face. She tossed her arms around in frustration and threw herself onto the couch. She dropped her head into her hands. In a few quick steps, Castle was in front of her, sitting on the coffee table. "Kate…" he breathed. Beckett lifted her head. She scanned his face, registering a mixture of pain and concern.
"This is exactly what I didn't want," she sighed. His eyes begged her to continue. Beckett reached out and took one of his hands in hers, not ignoring how easily the two fit together. She used the other to brush his hair out of his eyes. "Castle…" she stopped and shook her head. "Rick, I never wanted to put you through this," she disclosed. "I, uh, I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't know how to tell you that I wasn't ready, and I didn't want to string you along. I figured telling you I didn't remember would buy me some time to figure things out. And, I do have feelings for you, very strong ones, but I have to figure out who I am before I can be anything with you," she answered finally. Castle was painfully silent, his eyes bore into their clasped hands.
When she finally answered his question, he felt the vice grip in his chest loosen a little. It didn't erase all the damage done, but it was a good opportunity to start the healing process. He could forgive her. He took a moment to carefully piece together his response. For a bestselling author, he was sure having trouble coming up with the right words. He brought her hand to his lips and placed a feather light kiss on her knuckles. He pulled his eyes to hers. He could see the anxiety in her dark irises. She was waiting for more of a response and he was still trying to come up with one. So, he did the next best thing. He set a hand on her cheek and slowly leaned in. Two sets of eyes closed as lips met. Her lips were soft and inviting, his were warm and needy. Castle ran his tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entrance into her mouth. Beckett readily obliged. Castle somehow managed to pull her into his lap. Her arms wound around his neck and his hands spanned her back. The kiss ended as Castle took her lower lip between his teeth and gently pulled away. "Kate, I am willing to wait, as long as there is something worth waiting for," he disclosed.
"It's something worth waiting for," she promised before engaging in another searing kiss. Castle didn't want to pull away but he knew he had to before things went any further.
"We'll both take some time. That way, you have time to get your feet underneath you and I have time to put this behind me and convince Alexis you aren't the source of all evil," he finished with a chuckle. Beckett sent him a small smile. He gently lifted her off his lap and turned towards the door. Beckett caught his hand.
"It will be worth waiting for, Rick," she repeated. He smiled and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
"I am here for you, if you need anything. Always," he whispered.
"I know," she replied, watching him leave.
Alexis could tell just by looking at her father that he felt better. He looked…lighter.
"How'd it go?" she asked eagerly as he made his way through the door and hung up his coat.
"You're up late," he observed.
"Yeah, I know, how did it go?" she pressed on.
"It went…well," he answered cryptically with just the hint of a smile.
"Did you guys work it out? Did she apologize? Did she tell you why she lied? Does she love you too? Are you going to finally get together?" Alexis rambled.
"I'd like to know what the sudden interest with my personal life is." he smirked.
"Well, I, uh…" Alexis groped for an answer. He stepped towards her and gripped her shoulders.
"It's none of your business, it's time for bed," he said kissing her hair.
"but you are better, right?" she checked.
"Yeah, better," he smiled. "Now off to bed, we both have to be up early," he repeated.
"Why do you have to be up early?" she asked, stopping at the first landing on the stairs.
"I have to be back at the station," he stated matter of factly. Alexis laughed and continued up the stairs.
"So I heard Superman is a killer," Castle started as he entered the bullpen. He set Beckett's coffee on her desk before joining Ryan and Esposito in front of the board.
"It was just a Superman sweatshirt," Ryan replied.
"But it was pretty bad ass," Esposito interjected. "I've got pictures on my phone," As Esposito tried to locate the picture, Castle noticed Beckett had walked in. He met her eyes and the two shared a clandestine smile. Something they hadn't done in quite awhile. Castle turned his attention to the phone that was currently being thrust in his face. The sweatshirt was pretty cool. It was a zipped jacket with a hood. The Superman logo on the front and the hood was printed with Superman's face from the comics.
"Oohh, this is cool. I want one!" he exclaimed, sounding like a child standing outside a toy store. Beckett rolled her eyes and started on her paperwork. It looked like the old Castle was back.