I finally caved and decided to write my first fic. Constructive criticism (or praise) is always appreciated, but not necessary! It is rated M for a reason, but not until chapter 2! Sadly, like most/all of us, I do not own any of the characters in this story...

How do you live with the mother of all secrets?

Ziva had said it before, Tony always had her back, and this was no different. The Ray incident had left her exhausted, but oddly relieved and calm. As she, Tony, and Detective Burrows made their way out of the building, Detective Burrow's words played over in Tony's head – "Cherish each other, that's all I'm saying. Every day."

As the elevator doors opened, Detective Burrows said his goodbyes and thanked them again, but as Ziva followed behind him towards her car, she couldn't help but notice Tony stalling in the elevator. The doors were already closing behind her as she was startled by Tony's hand catching the door and pushing it back open. "Is everything alright, Tony?"

Ziva was greeted by a blank stare and silence. Well, on second thought, she couldn't help but notice that he looked pensive more than anything. The creases on his forehead were furrowed – yes, he was obviously thinking a little too hard. "Tony?" she asked again, but still got no response from her suddenly mute partner. Ziva moved into the entrance of the elevator and raised her hand to head slap him back into reality, but was startled yet again as Tony barked, "Don't even think about it Ziiiivaaaah!"

She brought her hand down and gently tapped his cheek with her open palm while giving him a curious look. "If you keep thinking that hard, the fire alarm will go off, Tony."

All Tony could think about was how warm and soft her palm was against his stubble, how much he needed her touch. He could feel his chest swelling, and his blood warming at a rapid rate. The tension felt more palpable than usual in the last few months, and he didn't know how much longer they could keep playing this game before one of them snapped. There was always something in their way – Gibbs, Daddy David, Jeanne, cases, Ray, Vance.

"Ha…ha ha…ha. Funny, Ziva…very cute," Tony mumbled sarcastically.

"I thought so," she quipped over her shoulder as she started to make her way back out of the elevator and into the parking garage. Her nose was wrinkled and eyes had a glint in them that he hadn't seen in so long.

"Zi?"

"Yes, Tony?"

"It's been a long case, a long few days - how about a drink?"

"Thank you, Tony, but what I really want right now is to go home and be alone for a little while. I need some clarity, and the last way I will find that is with alcohol. Can we do this another time?"

Tony suddenly felt vulnerable, unsure, a little hurt, and a lot like a rejected girl, but he knew Ziva needed her space if she was asking for it. "I'm gonna hold ya to that, Zi."

Ziva began to close the distance between them and leaned into Tony's ear and whispered, "Goodnight, Tony."

As she walked away to her car, Tony could feel his heart sinking to his knees. It would be a weekend of beer, cold pizza, and movies - alone.

Ziva entered her apartment, flipped the lock, dropped her bag by the door, and immediately made her way to the bathroom. She began to run scalding hot water, and lit a few tea lights after having added her lavender bath salts. She returned a few minutes later with a glass of wine and sank into the water. She was relying on the water and wine to wash the memories of Ray away – the wedding she had planned in her mind, the house they dreamed of making a home, and the babies they planned on raising and loving until they were old and grey. Ziva was suddenly roused from her thoughts by the sound of her own sobbing. The water had grown frigid, but her tears were still warm as they streamed down her face.

Tony was sprawled out on his couch, sound asleep and snoring. The dvd had looped through the main screen countless times, and the pizza had been devoured hours ago. The ringing from his cell phone roused him from his sleep. He groggily answered, "DiNozzo…"

"Tony, I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you. I will let you go."

"Ziva, no wait, what's up? Is everything alright? What time is it?"

"I…well…it is 2:37 in the morning."

"Thanks for the update on the time, Zi. What's wrong?"

"Why must something be wrong, Tony? Can I not call my partner and check in or say hi?"

"Not when my Spidey senses are tingling Ziiivaaaah. Talk to me."

"Perhaps being along this evening was not the best decision I have made. I seem to have had too much time to think about everything, and now find myself upset and alone. I need you…needed to hear you. I needed to know I will be alright."

Tony could hear the tears bubbling up in her voice. "Zi, I'll be there in twenty, and we can talk, or whatever you need."

Ziva quickly took a hot shower to get warm after her bath went cold, and threw on a pair of yoga pants and an OSU t-shirt Tony had gotten her for Christmas the year before. Just as she was leaving her bedroom, she heard a gentle set of taps on the door to her apartment. She bit back the tears that were welling as she saw his face as she opened the door and let him in. Tony was exactly what she needed right now.

"Hey Zi…come 'ere" Tony beckoned with a sympathetic gaze and half of a smile.

Ziva leaned into him without hesitation, as he embraced her in his strong arms. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck while hooking her arms under his and across his muscular back. Tony felt her shudder and felt ragged warm breath on his neck. He loosened his arms, and while keeping one around her waist, used to other to tilt her chin up and look into her eyes. They were reddened, damp, and pleading. Tony's eyes shifted uncomfortably across her face, as he carefully leaned in and placed his lips on her forehead in a lingering, gentle kiss. Ziva's breathing grew more ragged as she lifted her head up further, forcing Tony's lips to graze down the bridge of her nose, and land on her own lips. She was no longer the only one struggling to breath, as she had now captured Tony's bottom lip softly in her teeth as she gently tugged at his mouth with her own.