Smoke Break
Mabel stepped out of the Mystery Shack with little noise. A board creaked and she cringed. She would rather not wake up the whole house at this time of night.
Two stray cigarettes and a black lighter sat in her back pocket. Her phone fit snugly in the front pocket of her shorts. She now wished she hadn't put on shorts of all things to go outside in.
Such a bad idea this all was.
Mabel headed towards the forest. In a small clearing she could see a single log laying on the ground. She made her way over to it and sat down. The cigarettes were pulled from her back pocket and held in her hand. Mabel stared at them in disdain. She really didn't even know why she was doing this.
Well, she did know why, but didn't want to think about the reason.
One of the two cigarettes was placed beside her while the other one was held between her nimble fingers. Her hand shook and she shivered. It didn't help that she was both cold and extremely nervous. The lighter was pulled from her pocket and lit. Mabel stared at the flame.
She held it under the cigarette, lighting it. Pungent smoke bellowed from it. She quickly held it away from her. Her face scrunched up in disgust.
It's too late now...
Go for it.
Mabel took a slow but long drag from the cigarette. Her eyes immediately watered. She coughed roughly, smoke coming from her mouth. She felt like crying. And that was one thing she didn't need to do any more of tonight.
Loud coughs continuously came from her. A tear rolled down her red cheek. She wiped it away and looked up at the starry night. Smoke was visible in the atmosphere above. She took a deep breathe and looked back down at the cigarette that sat between her fingers. She hesitantly put it in her mouth and took another drag. The same reaction from the first time followed suit.
Tears, coughing, and regret.
Mabel pulled her phone from her pocket with mild effort. She went to her contacts and hovered her finger over Pacifica's number. She bit her lip and sucked in a breathe. She pressed it and typed a quick 'Come to the shack.' and then pushed Send. Mabel let out the breathe she had forgot she was holding. She shuffled her feet around then remembered the cigarette she was holding. She took a drag, with the following reaction not being as bad as the other two times. The air around her felt slightly stuffy and incredibly cold. Mabel tried to zip up her jacket more but it was at it's end.
A buzz was felt on Mabel's lap. She hurriedly grabbed her phone and unlocked it, almost dropping the cigarette in her opposing hand. The message read, 'On my way.' Mabel wanted to cry and scream with joy all at the same time.
If you had looked her in the eyes, you would have seen how red and puffy they were. A sign of how much she had cried earlier.
A sign of how much she had cried over and over, not only tonight but in previous nights as well.
Mabel's mind buzzed with thoughts. The idea to smoke had come to her when she saw Ford doing it. He looked so relaxed, so carefree; like all his problems had just flown away as soon as he lit that little bud. Mabel now realized that that carefreeness was only achieved through constant use and addiction.
She didn't want to do this every time she felt bad, but it wasn't untrue that doing this made her forget some of the worries and frustrations that swirled round and round in her head. Mere minutes passed as she remembered she had sent the text. Her feet shuffled uncomfortably as she took another drag of the cigarette. She coughed lightly, now getting accustomed to the feeling of smoke filling her lungs.
Ten minutes, then fifteen minutes passed until finally she heard the sound of tire tracks nearing her. She quickly pulled out her phone and typed, 'In the woods.' The car's tires slowed to a stop. Mabel sat breathlessly, getting ready for the feelings from earlier tonight to come crashing down on her. Rustling was heard from a short distance away. Mabel assumed Pacifica would be attracted to the light that was evident in the cigarette she was still holding. A low whisper was heard.
"Mabel, Mabel? Is that you?" Pacifica whispered hurriedly. Mabel let out a quiet, "Yes." She shined her phone towards Pacifica. Pacifica walked quietly over to the source of light. Pacifica's eyes widened as she approached the somber looking brunette.
"Mabel... What're you doing with a cigarette?" Pacifica asked slowly, with her eyebrows set in an evidently worried position. Mabel only shrugged her shoulders.
Pacifica couldn't lie and say she had never smoked a cigarette; because honestly, she had smoked her fair share. But she regretted ever single one of them. Each one was more disgusting, yet calming, than the last. Mabel's eyes were visibly glazed over, their redness hard to see in the darkness. Pacifica carefully sat herself beside Mabel, picking up the other cigarette and laying it on her lap. Mabel quietly glanced at the girl sitting beside her.
"You know it's 2:00 AM right?" Pacifica whispered, barely audible enough to hear. Mabel shook her head in understanding. Pacifica furrowed her brows. She just wanted a verbal response.
"What're you doing out in the woods at this time of night?" She asked cautiously. Mabel looked Pacifica in the eyes. Those beautiful, crystal blue eyes stared back at her in pity.
"I don't know I just... felt like it." Mabel whispered, not feeling confident about her own words.
"Did you maybe want to... Talk about something?" Pacifica shuffled her hands, laying one next to Mabel's free one that sat on the log.
"Not," Mabel sighed, "Not particularly." Pacifica turned her head, nodding and not speaking. She picked up the cigarette from her lap. She motioned Mabel to hand her a lighter. Mabel's eyes widened but she handed over the lighter nonetheless. Pacifica lit it quickly, setting the lighter on her lap. Mabel stared unintentionally. Pacifica took a drag from the cigarette, sighing deeply as she blew out the smoke. Mabel stared at her, visibly surprised about how it seemed like she had done this before.
Truthfully, her parents weren't the best. And everyone had to blow off steam once and awhile. Besides, Pacifica was certainly a person who looked like they needed a smoke break every once in awhile.
Pacifica took a deep breathe, making sure to choose her words carefully.
"Are you... are you okay?"
A small chuckle followed.
"I - I've been better." Mabel rubbed her arms, the cold night air seeming to get to her now. Pacifica scooted a little closer, though only enough to where their arms brushed. Mabel's skin was forming goosebumps seemingly with every deep breathe she took. Both girls took drags from their cigarettes. Pacifica now felt the vibrations from Mabel's shivering.
"Why come out here, isn't it cold?" Pacifica asked, feeling the question was reasonable.
"It's just... Comforting, outside I mean." Mabel looked up at the sky as she spoke. She put out her cigarette on the log, letting it roll off onto the ground.
Her emotional wall slowly ebbed away as she took notice to the latter girl's arm pressed against hers. With the wall gone there was a flood of emotions, leaving her to feel a tear roll down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, fearful that Pacifica would see it. But she already had. Pacifica turned sharply, grabbing Mabel's shoulders forcefully.
"Please tell me what's wrong, I'm worried." Pacifica said the words slowly but firmly. Her grip loosened as she realized she might have been a bit too forceful. Mabel sniffled and cleared her throat. She cracked a half smile.
"It's nothing, really!" Mabel looked away rather quickly. Well, faster than Pacifica would've liked her to look away. She gave a long sigh. Pacifica put out the cigarette on the log, laying it and the lighter from her lap beside her. Her other hand placed itself over Mabel's rather cold one. Mabel's breathe hitched and she made sure to stare straight ahead. Pacifica gripped her hand, trying her best to exert some sort of comfort.
Mabel stood up abruptly.
"I... I don't know why I invited you over. I - I'm sorry. I know this must be bothersome. You can... you can just go now, I won't stop you." Mabel hugged her arm to her side tightly. Pacifica stood up.
"You know I wouldn't leave you like this..." Pacifica reached out, grabbing the hand that hung closely to Mabel's body. At first Mabel shook her off, then by her second attempt she just let the hand stay. Mabel stared at Pacifica for a second. Pacifica had to say... something.
"You know you can tell me anyth—," And then she was cut off. Cut off by chapped lips pressing themselves into her own delicate pink ones. Mabel licked across her bottom lip, hoping to gain entrance. Her wish was granted as Pacifica parted her lips just enough for Mabel to slip her tongue through them. Mabel's tongue roamed the delicate mouth before her and she reveled in it's sweetness. After a second or two of ecstasy she gained her senses back. Mabel pulled back with a light pop.
She let out a breathy pant. Nimble fingers streamed down the small of her back and she let out a strained sigh. A small push back made her heart jump, her eyes darting around unconsciously.
"I... we... we can't do this Mabel." Pacifica couldn't muster up the courage to look Mabel in the eyes as she spoke the crippling words.
"I... God... I'm sorry, oh god... I — " Mabel paused to catch her breathe, "I'm disgusting, God I'm so disgusting..." Mabel's whole body shook as she uttered the words. She felt like laughing hysterically.
"I'm a freak!" Mabel stared Pacifica straight in the face as she spoke. Pacifica wanted to calm her down but... she didn't know how. All she could do was reach out her arm weakly. Mabel had broken into tears as soon as she started talking.
"You're not disgusting, that's not what I'm —," She was aggressively interrupted.
"Oh don't spare me your pity!" Mabel yelled indignantly, blinded by rage and sadness.
Pacifica was at a loss for words. She went to give her a hug but was promptly pushed away.
She watched as Mabel turned and ran, most likely to the Mystery Shack. Pacifica now felt like crying as well.
She just wanted Mabel to understand.