Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. The only things that are mine are the OC characters
Main Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, OC, OC
Ships: James/Lily, Lily/OC, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, OC/OC
In-depth Summary: Each of these young students have something to overcome in the months ahead in their 6th year. James struggles to be true to himself when he is forced to make a choice and Lily battles with staying true to her feelings, while Peter fights to prove his worth. Sirius tries to find himself and who he is in a family of deceit and Taslen tries to find individuality in a world of conformity. Remus has to learn to finally accept what he is and embrace those around him and Josie must accept the events that have caused her grief and embrace the person they have forced her to become. Will they be able to help each other in their personal problems and will the friendships hold under the pressure.
This update follows all the character through the first couple of days of the holidays after fifth year. Except for Lily, her summer will be revealed in flashbacks in other updates. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I'll try and reply to reviewers since I think they deserve all the gratitude that they can get and I'd like to say I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to type me some feedback, it's most welcome.
Chapter One: Our Finest Year
----
I am bending
Made of steel
I am stumbling
Towards something real
How can you forget this feeling
Of standing straight while the world is reeling?
----
He had been home one day. And already he yearned to be back. The breeze fluttered in through the thrown open window and Remus watched as a piece of parchment on his desk got caught under the gust and softly spiraled downwards to the floor. He didn't move to pick it up.
As Remus thought about it, the place he had grown up in had started to become less and less like home, until it was just somewhere to return when he had no where else to go.
Hogwarts held life. It held laughter. It held warmth and comfort. But if he listened now, all Remus could hear was silence. He had grown accustomed to constant noise. With his friends it was hard not to. Even in sleep, James mumbled and Sirius snored.
Standing up Remus realised he didn't know what to do with himself. Reading a book didn't have the same appeal as it usually did. Without Sirius walking past and dropping a comment about having a fetish for anything leather bound and legibile there was just no fun in it. He was not used to being alone anymore. Even in transformations he was never alone. After being shunned for the majority of his life Remus had longed for companionship and acceptance. He had found it in three mismatched boys. And a girl. These four people had altered his total outlook on life, making the years at Hogwarts the most enjoyable he'd ever experienced.
Making a quick decision Remus strode across the room to the piece of parchment that had settled on the hardwood floor. He wasn't going to spend another holiday locked in his room staring at the ceiling. Glancing at the address scrawled across the cream paper he slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans and wrenched open his door. He was catching the first train into London.
----
Don't leave me here alone
You're as close as it gets to home
----
Josie sat silently on the couch. It was so silent she could hear the faint tick of the old oak clock on the wall. Her brother was holed up in his room and her father had shut himself up in his office at the other end of the large apartment. The air was stiff and suffocating, like the apartment hadn't been lived in for some time. Josie knew that wasn't the case. It just lacked something since…. Her throat constricted as she realized it was the first time she had ventured home since the accident.
Standing up in order to distract herself she moved forward, around the coffee table and to the mantle above the fireplace to gaze at a picture of her and William when they were considerably younger. Taking a guess she concluded that they would have been about 6 and 8. She had no recollection of it being taken. But she loved it all the same. It captured the pure innocence that young children had. They were at her grandparents house in the country, sitting on the back steps, absolutely covered in watermelon. They had pieces in their hands and the juice was basically dripping from their chins as they laughed manically at something only they would ever understand, waving the melon madly about before biting into it then spitting out the seeds, before dissolving into giggles again. It was magic of a different kind.
Sighing heavily at the happiness lost Josie stepped further down the mantel, her hand tracing the edge of it…only to come to empty frames. A deep frown etched into her face she kept going until she reached two that were filled. One was a picture of her father, smiling as he hugged a gappy toothed young William to his chest and the other of their beautiful old cottage just outside of London, the flowers swaying in the breeze. But none had her in them. The person Josie was looking for.
Feeling slightly panicked Josie swung her vision around the room, swooping over the walls and side tables. All she encountered were more empty frames or spots where some should have been. Exiting the room she hurried down the hall and rapt on her father's study door.
"What?" Came the brisk and snappy reply.
"Where are all the photographs of mum?" Josie asked, wringing her hands as she waited for his explanation. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like it.
"I took them out"
"Why?" Josie exclaimed loudly, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Did you throw them out"
"No…I put them away"
"Why would you do that!" Josie exclaimed, her voice tinged with a desperate whine, her eyes feeling hot all of a sudden.
"Stop talking like a small child Josephine!" Her father barked through the door. His tone was sharp and short, making her flinch slightly. "I have my reasons. Don't ask me about it anymore"
Josie stared at the door agape. She was reminded of why she avoided home till now. Glancing around her she noticed the quilt her mother had made also absent from its usually spot of hanging on the wall. What other reminders had her father rid the house of?
"No" She blurted out, her short temper flaring. Josie reached forward and pushed open the door, letting it bang against the wall as it swung on its hinges. Her father spun around from standing at his desk to stare at her. Atherton Cuskelly had once been a handsome man. With fair blonde hair, striking blue eyes and a distinct jaw he had been fine figure standing tall, at his height of 6"2. He was still tall but the last year had taken it's toll. Lines had appeared on his face, fresh and deep. His usual golden hair had dulled and was now streaked with grey. And the air of bitterness and disdain that surrounded his person had changed him into a irreproachable force. Looking at him now, Josie didn't recognized him. Compared to the man she had grown up with, this one was a complete stranger.
"What are you trying to do? Forget her by ridding yourself of everything that is associated with her," Josie spat out, her anger rising at the thought that he would just toss away her mother's life without a second thought "Does that mean you have to dispose of me and William as well, are we just another painful memory!"
"Get out Josephine!" Atherton roared at her, striding across the room to grasp the edge of the door "I don't want you here!" And with a forceful swing the door slammed in her face.
"I know, you've made it perfectly clear!" Josie screamed through the wood, fighting the urge to beat her hands against it in anger and frustration. Tears pricked at her eyes as she backed away, muffling a vicious yell with her fist. Her father was a different person, one she now found herself often disagreeing and fighting with. Gone were the care free days of childhood, days when her mother would bake a chocolate cake while Josephine and Will would sit on the edge of the bench, covered in flour and up to their elbows in icing and their father would stride in, twirl their mother around to face him by the waist then proceed to dance with her around the kitchen while his children shrieked with laughter. Now all that was left was a hollow and dark representation of what the family used to be.
Stumbling through the apartment, vision clouded by a blur of fresh tears Josie fell through the doorway into her room, collapsing onto her knees next to her trunk. Flipping open the latch with clumsy fingers she pushed the lid upwards before frantically searching through her robes and books and other personal items. Things were picked up and quickly discarded onto the floor as her frenzied search continued. Finally her arm withdrew and clutched tightly in her hand was a little red leather book with a thick, worn clasp.
Rocking backwards onto her heels so that her spine hit the edge of her huge mahogany bed Josie reached forward to undo the clasp with a trembling hand. Her fingers sifted through the yellow pages, past notes and ramblings scribbled in with blue, red, purple and orange ink until they carefully extracted a worn photo.
Her mother smiled up at her, chocolate eyes twinkling in the sun that glinted down onto her gorgeous dark locks of hair. Josie unconsciously reached up to play with one of her own brunette curls. It was another picture from her grandparents residence but this time out on the beautiful rolling laws at the back of the large house. Their was an abundance of flowers in the background, all reaching up for the brilliant rays of heat. Her mother was dressed in a flowing sundress that seemed to make her dark skin glow. Any man would have fallen in love with her from that picture alone. A huge Old English Sheep dog was at her side, bouncing up and down excitedly as Leila laughed and ruffled it's shaggy hair.
She was beautiful and Atherton had always wanted to capture it, taking millions of pictures of her when ever he could. He was enraptured with her and could never get enough. Josie had always been in awe of her parents love for each other, she thought it would have had to have been something deep and magical to have enough power to make her mother pack up her life, leave the place of her birth, her beloved family and culture, and move across to a completely different country just because a charming boy asked her to. Because that's all her father would have been at the tender age of twenty, a bumbling, sweet talking, fancy English boy just getting his grasp on the world. Who somehow managed the task of getting a laughing, nineteen year old Italian beauty to fall head of heels for him.
Their affection for each other was stronger than any love potion imaginable and had lasted close to twenty years before the event occurred that had hit them all hard, just like the car that had spun round the corner and ploughed straight into the woman that was adored by so many. Leila Costa-Cuskelly was killed on impact in a busy London street. Josie still had trouble coming to terms with the fact that her mother, an amazing and irreplaceable witch, could have her life ended by something so trivial. It still seemed impossible and such a cruel twist of fate.
Wiping at her damp eyes Josie played with a corner of the much loved photo. She carried it with her everywhere, even before it had become the only way she could see her mother. There was a shuffling of feet at the doorway and Josie's head shot up to find she wasn't as alone as she thought. There was a lanky figure in the doorway.
"I'm sorry, I should have let you know I was coming" Remus said with a useless gesture behind him "Your brother let me in…"
He trailed off as Josie gazed up at him, her stare calling out and drawing him in, making it hard to not move instantly across the space and gather her in his arms in an attempt to comfort her. But he stayed rooted to the spot.
"Remus," Josie whispered, putting on a brave watery smile which vanished almost instantly as she said her next few words and she motioned to the apartment around her "…it feels so empty"
----
Don't look down
You might fall
Life made rookies of us all
In our finest year
Don't wait up
We'll be fine
Somehow we might get it right
In our finest year
----
Sirius breathed out, expelling a loud gust of air as his mind whirled and his world spun. Fury raged inside of him, churning in his gut and making it difficult not to hurl his lunch onto the curb. It coursed through his veins, heating his skin and making his cool, grey eyes blaze. He looked like a daunting figure, broad shouldered and stiff, stomping down the worn pavement, huffing and cursing under his breath repeatedly.
"Why are you so different, why do you make such a disgrace of yourself? Ungrateful whelp! What did we raise you to be!" Walburga Black screamed at her elder son.
"A liar. A snob. A puffed out rich boy with no morals and not a shred of decency" Sirius belted over his shoulder as he ascended the stairs. Their 'very important' lunch guests had left and no sooner had they stepped outside the door, his mother had turned her furious eyes on him. "Do you want to call me a failure, go right a head! Because in this family I am one and you know what…I'm proud of it!"
"You are a failure and so much more Sirius Dallin Black! After that little show you put on your lucky your father and I still let you live in this house" Walburga followed him into his room, her face turning a shade of red that did not do her anger justice. "It's the influence of your silly little friends. You reduce yourself to such low standards boy that it makes me feel faint. Spending your days with all that filth and trash. If only you were in Slytherin!"
"If only mother!" Sirius fumed, spinning on his heel to face her. "I don't give a damn what you think of them. Does it come as a surprise to you to learn that I value their opinion of me over your own. So maybe I don't want to live in this god for saken hell house, it seeps nothing but cruelness and deceit. I almost choke on the evil that fills the air. This family is a fucking disaster that I want nothing to do with!"
The slap came fast and flat against his cheek, leaving the angry red mark of insult. Sirius blinked and by the time he'd recovered from the blow his trunk was packed and in front of him.
"Get out! Get out!" His mother screeched at him, the shrill noise agonizing on his ear drums "You are not fit to deserve the name of Black. I never want to lay eyes on you again."
"Well for your sake I hope you never do" Heaving his trunk forward Sirius dragged it out of the room and down the stairs, his skin still stinging from the brutal blow of disownment. He found Regulus standing next to the door way, smirking at the argument he'd overheard.
"Good riddance" He sneered, his lip curling as Sirius leveled with him.
"To bad rubbish" Sirius's eyes were steely as he glowered at his brother and spat at his feet before pushing roughly past him and out into the fresh, clean air. The door snapped shut on the dark and musty halls of Grimmauld Place and Sirius blinked in the bright sunlight.
The dark haired boy finally stopped outside a large house surrounded by a garden blooming with the most colourful assortment of flowers he'd ever seen. His trunk landed next to him with a muffled thump and Sirius placed his hand on the white wooden gate, swallowing a large lump in his throat. The pain was still raw and there was a dull ache, it wasn't however, from the injury his mother's hand had caused.
----
I am hopeful
Full of doubt
And I am trying to work this whole thing out
So how can you just sit there sleeping
When your worlds on fire
And your chest is beating?
And I want to think you feel the same
----
James sat outside, in the field at the back of his house, the fresh cut grass soft and lush beneath him. His gaze had wandered upwards to the clouds that stood out stark against the clear sky, completely ignoring the sandy coloured dog that was continually nudging his hand in an effort to get the boy to join in with the play again. But James Potter's mind was as far away as the clouds were.
Lily Evans was once again taking up all his attention. She was, in his eyes, undeniably beautiful. But there were other things that drew him to her. Her intelligence, was not easily matched. She was quick and sharp minded and often he found himself watching her in potions, just the way her hands deftly measured and poured, how she cut and weighed ingredients with careful precision and how she got small creases in her brow as she concentrated and calculated intensely. But most of all he watched just to see the way her eyes lit up whenever the potion turned out exactly as it was supposed to. It was worth the careless burns on his hands he received from not paying attention to his own cauldron.
James liked to pride himself on being quite an observant person when he wanted to be. So when in the common room, with nothing else to occupy his mind he would observe the intricate puzzle that was Lily Rae Evans. He noticed the small things, her easy smile, clever wit, and how she radiated warmth that caused the younger students to flock to her. Half the time his eyes searched her out they would find her helping a first year to their classroom or patiently talking a third year through some charms homework. He was in slight awe of her for that, for possessing such a natural and welcoming nature that made almost anyone feel comfortable in her presence.
Except for him. Instead he felt rather hot and bothered, words seeming to trip ungracefully off his tongue in a jumbled mess. Confident and daring James Potter was so disarmed by the charm of the redhead that he hadn't even been able to muster up the courage to make a move on her yet, he was so undone just by the mere sight of her.
"It's pathetic, utterly and completely pathetic' James berated himself. It was common knowledge that he was good looking. He'd had enough admirers over the years to realize the power his lopsided smile had over the female population of Hogwarts. He could take his pick of girls if he wanted to, would have no trouble ever getting a date. Except for one. And that alone drove him slightly mad.
Lily Evans it seemed, would never be his. Merely because he couldn't get his act together enough to ask her that very important question. And there was the teensy problem of the fact that for some reason she seemed to dislike him on a personal level.
But that could be overcome. If he ever got his head out of his arse and did the bold thing.
James jumped as the dog, finally fed up with him, let out a sharp bark right into his left ear.
"Alright, alright. Ease up Bodger" He snatched the stick from the ground and hurled it with all his might into a cluster of tree's at the edge of the paddock. While the dog bolted after it James scrambled to his feet and sprinted in the direction of the house, hoping that the Golden Retriever was to preoccupied with his quest to notice that his master had abandoned their game.
He eased in through the back door as his eyes immediately spotted the pile of cupcakes sitting invitingly on the kitchen bench. They were freshly iced and James knew they would still be warm. His mouth watered at the thought. He slunk towards them as quietly as he could but just as his fingers stretched for the closest one there was a knock on the door. He froze.
"James Alric Potter, step away from the baked goods this instant and go answer the door!" Came a cry from up the stairs.
Swearing his mother had x-ray vision James sent a annoyed look up at the ceiling before stomping off down the hall to the front entrance.
"Sirius?" James blinked at the boy standing on the other side of the threshold in bewilderment, his grasp on the door edge going slack.
"James!" Sirius beamed at him "Don't mind me dropping in do you?"
James's eyes travelled down to the trunk sitting behind Sirius and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Dropping in?"
"Well you see…" Sirius rubbed his palm across his jaw roughly "We had these guests over for lunch and…there might or might not have been an incident involving a chandelier and a singing tea set."
A wide grin broke out across James's face and he swung the door wider.
"Welcome home Padfoot"
----
Don't look down
You might fall
Life made rookies of us all
In our finest year
Don't wait up
We'll be fine
Somehow we might get it right
In our finest year
----
"Taslen! Tas!" A high pitched squeal bounded over the waves of chatter caused by the room bursting with children "Tassy!"
A small missile was launched and collided into the toffee haired girl's back, who had to fling her hands out in front of her to stop herself from toppling from her crouched position.
"Please don't call me Tassy, Mia" Taslen muttered swinging her little sister around so she was perched on her knee "You know I hate it"
"But why? I think it's cute, I wish it were my name" The seven year old replied, her bottom lip pouted and liquid brown eyes wide.
"Yes but I don't. How'd you like it if I went around calling you Tullamia? Huh?" Taslen said, poking her fingers gently into the little girls ribs as she raised her eyebrows. "Huh? Huh Tullamia?"
A delighted giggle bubbled out of Mia's mouth as she started to squirm under her older sister's grasp, who was taking full advantage of the fact that she was extremely tickerlish.
"Taslen!" An outraged cry came somewhere from her left, just above her elbow "You haven't finished helping me with my building blocks" A blonde boy glared at Mia and started to tug on Taslen's shirt, demanding the attention that had been taken away from him.
"Wait a minute Oliver, I've just got to-"
A wail cut off her sentence as it cut through the room and Taslen's head whipped around to spot the red and blotchy face of her three year old cousin as she drew in a breath to let out another cry. Groaning slightly she made a move to stand but before she could properly rise to her feet a tall and straight figure strode into the room, scooping up the sniffling child in strong arms.
"Hey Aggie, sssshhh now. No need to cry" The deep voice soothed as he gently bobbed the small girl in the hopes of quietening her.
Sighing in relief Taslen pushed the remaining wooden blocks in Oliver's direction, placed a soft kiss to Mia's head before tip toeing her way around the other children to the older boy with matching hair and eyes.
"Thanks Alfie. I'm going mad…they're driving me bonkers" Taslen complained as she glanced around at her younger cousins.
"I don't think we've ever had them all here at the same time before, talk about a family gathering" Alfie said with a shake of his head and a bright grin.
"I'm glad you find the situation amusing" Taslen rolled her eyes before continuing "Where is Abigail?" She cast her eyes around the room but couldn't locate her other sister.
"Upstairs in her room reading"
"Smart girl. And Linden?" Taslen couldn't see her brother either.
"Disappeared entirely."
"Genius."
"You can go if you like, have a break" Her older brothered offered with a shrug, still nursing the now calm child. "I can handle it from here"
Taslen scoffed and her eyes lit up in amusement "I doubt that but I'm gonna go before you take back the offer"
"Better hurry."
With a nod of her head in thanks Taslen slipped from the room and took the stairs two at a time, anxious to get away from the clutter and noise her family brought with them. She hesitated outside Abigail's room but continued down the hall to her own, gratefully flopping down onto her bed once she got there.
"Thank Merlin" She whispered to herself as she closed her eyes and let the stillness wash over her. She loved her family to death but they were overwhelming and Taslen found herself wishing for the seclusion of Hogwarts. Sure there were people everywhere but they weren't in your face, constantly demanding things and nagging you to braid their hair.
The sixteen year old had just started to doze when a tapping sound resonated through the room, pulling Taslen from her drowsy state. With slow, deliberate movements she sat up and turned to the window, squinting at the chestnut coloured owl perched outside, insistently tapping.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming, stupid bundle of fuzz" She muttered the last part under her breath as she reached for the clasp on the window. There was nothing worse than an offended owl. It seemed to know exactly what she said however because as soon as he was able, the owl fluttered in and left a sharp peck on the arm holding the window open.
"Ouch!" Taslen cursed quietly as she struggled to not drop the window down. Latching it up she turned towards the angered creature who was sticking out its left foot with its head turned up and away from her.
"I'm sorry, gosh, I didn't mean it" The girl apologized with a roll of her eyes before swiftly untying the tightly rolled scroll from its scaly leg. Once free from its burden the owl gave a dismissive hoot and disappeared into the sky again.
"Moody bugger" She mumbled as her fingers carefully unrolled the parchment. Her eyes grew wide as she took in the hastily scrawled message and she let herself fall back onto the soft mattress, now wishing more than ever that she was back at Hogwarts with her friends.
----
In this moment
While you're breathing
If the future leaves you needing
Will you be the one who stayed?
As your life just slipped away?
Don't leave me here alone
You're as close as it gets to home
----
Peter Pettigrew sat at home in his kitchen, receiving a letter very similar to Taslen's. Setting down his book 'Easy and Effective Spells To Learn In An Instant', Peter cracked open the seal and recognised the hurried scrawl of Sirius.At the Potter's. Got into a spot of bother at home. Will be here for the rest of the holidays. Might drop round sometime, keep an eye out.
Padfoot
Peter chuckled. Seemed as if his friend had got himself into hot water yet again. Deciding to reply later in the day Peter collected the book and letter and set off up the stairs to his room. It was strew with parchment covered in notes and tips. Books were piled high on the desk and demonstrations of wand movements tacked to his wall. Peter had taken in upon himself to study throughout the holidays. He was determined to catch up with his friends.
He was quite sick of being the tag along. The other three didn't see him as that but he knew the rest of the population at Hogwarts did, even the teachers. Little Peter Pettigrew, basking in the fame of the real Marauders. He knew they were all brilliant. Good looking to. And he accepted it. But just because they were didn't mean he couldn't be as well, at least to some extent. They didn't need all the glory.
Peter stepped in front of the mirror on his wall and scrutinized his image. Shorter than the other three, stockier and not quite as lean. Light blue eyes shone back at him. They weren't piercing or smouldering but they were nice enough, warm he would describe them as. His hair was dirty blonde, quite long and messy, making him seem a little scruffy and not quite as well groomed. Peter knew his looks weren't extraordinary but he would hardly class himself as revolting.
He wasn't quite as thick as most thought him to be either. Remus knew this, because he had taken the time to notice. He had encouraged Peter, always slipping him compliments even when his own work easily outshone his smaller friend's. But Peter was grateful for the vote of confidence. He could master most of the things his friends could, it just took him awhile longer and he didn't achieve nearly as highly as they did. He could do magic and he could do it well. Problem was it was overshadowed by the Princes of Hogwarts. His closest friends.
But not this year. This year Peter was going to show them all that he wasn't just the tag along, that their was a reason he was a Marauder, that there was a reason he was granted the privilege of calling those three boys his mates when not many else could. Peter was going to prove his worth. He wouldn't be failing this time.
----
I'll be there if you fall
Love made suckers of us all
Don't look down
You might fall
Life made rookies of us all
In our finest year
Don't wait up
We'll be fine
Somehow we might get it right
In our finest year
----
Our Finest Year by Better Than Ezra
