A Night Out

By Tuba321

A/N: Ha. This is just a few stories on what would happen if the Doctor and Rose went to certain restaurants. The first is a Japanese Steak house. I came up with this idea at a Japanese Steak house. This could be either ninth or tenth Doctor. I was thinking ten though. Yeah...

Disclaimer: I only own DVDs and books. The rights. I do not.

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Japanese Steak House

Rose: (Walking in) Is this authentic?

Doctor: Oh. Yeah. Of course it is.

A waiter comes up.

Waiter: Hello welcome to KingJow. The best Japanese in New York. If you'll follow me.

He leads them to a table. They sit down.

Rose: I thought you said it was authentic?

Doctor: Yep. The authentic New York Japanese. I guess we're in Little China?

Rose: It's Japanese from Japan and Little China is in San Francisco.

Doctor: Then what's in New York?

Rose: Little Italy.

Doctor: Ah.

Rose: You know, you'd expect our designated driver to know where Little China is!

Doctor: Well then, do you want to drive?!

Rose: Yeah!

While they are arguing another waiter comes by and turns the cooking table on so it starts to heat up like a frying pan.

Doctor: And another thing, I-- (puts hand on table) OOOOWWWW!!!! (Starts sucking his hand-- all at once)

Rose: (trying not to laugh and failing) Are... (giggle) are... (giggle) you... okay? (starts laughing uncontrollably)

Doctor: #&!!!!

Rose: Doctor!! (slaps)

Doctor: (stops sucking hand) Wow that is genetic!

A waiter comes by.

Waiter: What would you like to order.

Doctor: (not looking at menu) Shrimp.

Waiter: Very good sir, but might I recommend the duck?

Doctor: Why recommend it?

Waiter: Because that's all we have.

Doctor: Ah. Fine I'll have the duck.

Rose: (wasn't listening) Ok. I'll have the steak. (The Doctor eyes her.) A large one. I mean HUGE.

Waiter: We are out of steak.

Rose: Then what do you have?

Waiter: (with that "duh" face) Duck.

Rose: Fine. HUGE duck. Now LEAVE!

Waiter runs away scared.

Doctor: Steak? Steak is the most expense item on the menu!

Rose: So? I didn't get it did I?

Doctor: --

A man comes out with a chef's hat. The chef. Hopefully...

Chef: (points to Rose) Duck. (points to Doctor) Duck.

Doctor: If that's all you have, why do you have to ask?

Chef: If I don't I'll get fired.

Doctor: Ah.

The Chef pulls out two eggs and starts spinning them. Then puts in on his spatula still spinning. He throws it into the air and catches it.

Doctor: That's pretty neat--

Chef: (Throwing egg again) WATCH OUT!!

The egg hits the Doctor in the face.

Doctor: UGH!!! (tries to wipe the egg off)

Rose: (laughing uncontrollably again)

Chef: (quickly cracking other egg and cooking it) Uh... and for my next trick... (he takes out onions and starts to cut them with dramatic movements in the knife)

Rose: (cries)

Doctor: Rose are you crying?

Rose: (sob) onions...

Doctor: What?

Rose: He's cutting onions!

The Chef puts the onions to the side and brings out the rice. The rice pops on the table beneath the heat.

Rose: Is rice supposed to pop?

Chef & Doctor: Yes.

Rose: Why?

Chef: In my country there is a story--

Doctor: You have an American accent.

Chef: Shut it. Anyways, the heat give the rice life. So, when the rice is alive it tries not to be eaten and jump off the table.

Doctor: That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard.

Rose: You know what's stupid?

Chef & Doctor: What?

Rose: (points) The rice is on fire.

Chef: WHAT?! (the rice is on fire) Aaaah!! (takes out a piece of meat and beats the fire into submission)

Doctor: (pointing to the now-ruined meat) What was that?

Chef: Your dinner. Excuse me. (he runs away)

Rose: Wonder how long this'll take?

THREE HOURS LATER

Rose & Doctor: So... hungry...

The chef runs in with two boxes.

Chef: Sorry. Here is your dinners.

Rose: Where'd you get this from?

Chef: (talking very fast) The Chinese across the street. Here's your bill. (runs away)

Doctor: (looking at bill) $10 for drinks...! $47.84 for food... $36 for SERVICE!?!?! (looks at Rose)

Rose: No tip.

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A/N: Yeah... No I'm not trying to dis any or all Japanese Steak Houses. So if your family owns one... please understand... Need I continue?