All That Matters
Chapter 1
A/N: Hey guys! With Nashville coming to an end in a week (unless we save it #BringBackNashville), I wanted to bid farewell to a show that has been so near and dear to my heart with a pretty long Javery one-shot. This takes place at the Oscars and leads to our favorite couple getting some time to talk things out. Hope you all enjoy! -BK
"And the Oscar goes to…."
The room was enveloped in a static pause and an eager hush. In just moments, the crowd would erupt for the outstanding actress in a motion picture. All eyes, under their botox and makeup, were viciously scanning the room, as if "see and be seen" was a real way of life.
Juliette wasn't used to this life. Her nomination plastered a larger-than-normal target on her back for the wandering eyes and fake smiles of congratulations. This wasn't Nashville. This wasn't her home. Normally when people dug her graves, she fired back with a song. What were you supposed to do when you were metaphorically chained to your seat in the second row of an auditorium?
"Juliette Barnes, Shenandoah Girl!"
Wait, what?
She didn't have time to process anything. Glenn literally had to stand her up. He kissed her cheek and squeezed tight enough that it started circulating her blood...enough to move her legs back in forth in a motion that eventually led her on stage.
She didn't have time to process anything. People were grabbing her, handing her things, helping her up the stairs, taking photos, giving her hugs.
Where were all of these people when she needed help? When her momma died? When her record label dropped her? When she was overwhelmed and slept around in self-sabotage? When she couldn't handle life as a mom? When she was on that ledge? When she went to rehab?
Oh, that's right.
They were right here. With the last outstanding actress in a motion picture. Grabbing her, handing her things, helping her up the stairs, taking photos, giving her hugs.
There was only one person who cared about her in this room, and she made eye contact with him as she took her place on stage. His toupee was styled nicely and his black tux glimmered under the chandelier. But the only thing she noticed was his smile, which beamed with such pride that it compelled her to speak….
"I love you, Glenn."
Everyone hushed down, but Glenn noticed. He wiped a tear with a subtle nod at his girl, and Juliette exhaled, "I haven't had time to process anything."
The crowd chuckled at her overwhelmed demeanor, but Juliette shook her head, "And I think that's the problem of this whole thing. The last three years have been so overwhelming, I missed so much of my life. I loved my Shenandoah Girl cast and crew, I loved working on this film and paying tribute to Patsy….but who am I? I'm not an actress. You all don't know me, all you see up here right now is loose-canon country star Juliette Barnes who somehow weaseled her way onto the silver screen, and I don't blame you for that. The past few years have been so complicated that I never fully got a handle on who I am either. But as I sat there in the audience, I realized that I am so lucky to have people who know me and have stuck by me and they're the people that deserve the praise tonight. To my date tonight, my incredibly patient and caring manager and father, Glenn. My insanely loyal and beautiful best friend, Emily. My idol, turned mentor, turned competitor, turned boss, turned friend, Rayna. The one person who'll sit down and have an honest, real conversation with me, Deacon. To them and everyone in Nashville; I can't wait to come home and see you. Momma, I know you're watching me up there, I hope I've made you proud. My sweet little girl, Cadence; I am working so hard to become the mom you deserve, I love you so much and will never take any time we spend together for granted. And last, but not least, Avery. Our story had so much love and promise and I can never apologize enough for selfishly manipulating that and causing us both so much pain. You're an amazing father, and I'm so thankful that you're still in my life. You don't have to be, but you are. And that makes you the greatest man I've ever known."
She paused again,
"For someone who's only cared about being on top, this is it. This is the top. I'm holding an Oscar in my hand and I'm undoubtedly grateful for that. But during that vicious climb, I can stand here and say I've lost so much more than I've gained. So right now, I can't ignore the irony that on top, all you want is to be back down where you were with the people that you love. That's truly all that matters."
"Oh look at you, you were great." Glenn met her backstage at commercial time.
She smiled, greeting him with a genuine hug, "Glenn, thank you so much. I'm so happy you're here."
"So what do you want to do now, there's the Vanity Fair after-party, you're VIP for the-"
"I just want to go home."
"Fair enough." he looked through his phone for some information, "The car should be out front to take you to the hotel…."
"No, Glenn I meant home."
Amongst the hustle and bustle of the backstage at Academy Awards, Glenn managed to pause and smile, "I had a feeling you'd say that. Your jet is wheels up whenever you are."
Four hours later it was 2 in the morning in Nashville time, but Juliette could care less. Bo dropped her bags at the front door, "Anything else today, boss?"
"Well, seeing as today's only two hours old, I'd say you've already done enough." she laughed.
Bo nodded with a smile and left her to be.
The Oscar statuette was strangely illuminated by the moonlight as it rested on her kitchen counter. Thinking back to her candid speech, she decided to take her own medicine and reflect on the journey she'd just taken.
She was interrupted, as if on cue, by a knock to her door.
Yawning, she answered it, half-expecting it to be Glenn.
But it wasn't. Not even close.
It was Avery, holding a sleeping Cadence.
Juliette stopped mid-yawn and her eyes grew wide, "Avery? What are you-"
Gently bouncing Cadence up and down, he searched for the words, "We just wanted to see if you came home, we wanted to say congratulations!"
Still trying to process her ex-husband and daughter's presence in her...their...her house, she ushered them in, "Thank you! Yeah, yeah, come on in."
Sensing her apprehension, he backtracked, following her into the living room, "If you're tired, we can leave. I'm sorry we kinda barged in on you-"
She couldn't rebut quickly enough, "No, no, no, I couldn't be happier that you two are here."
They sat on the couch. Avery gladly handed over the napping little girl to his ex-wife, "She was so happy when she saw you on stage."
Juliette smiled, "Did you see mommy win an Oscar? Did you?"
He admired the banter between mother and sleeping daughter, "How many eighteen-month olds can say that?"
Juliette gave him a look and Avery bit his lip. It was quiet for a minute and Juliette took Cadence into her room to sleep.
"I saw you went with Glenn…" he brought up. Juliette smiled internally. Sometimes, after all they've been through, she forgot how well she knew him. She knew this was his way of asking if Noah was still in the picture.
"Noah isn't really what I want right now." she put it blatantly.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he offered.
"In all seriousness." Avery reached over and held her hand, "Your speech was amazing, every single word."
"Thanks, Avery." nodded, squeezing their intertwined hands. The feeling of his hand in hers brought back so many memories, memories that filled her mind the moment she got on that stage hours ago.
"And I'm sorry I brought you up. I know you've moved on and with Layla it wasn't fair to talk about us. It truly just came out."
"No, no." Avery assured her, "Like I said, it was amazing. Every single word."
Silence again fell over the modernist home. Avery took a look around at the place he lived for way too short, "And by the way, Layla isn't really what I want right now."
She smiled at the similar phrasing of her words, "Isn't that funny, how we're so sure of what we don't want, we don't really know what we want."
"I know what I want. I've always known what I want."
Taking the risk, she turned her head slowly to look at him.
"It's no secret." he looked at her like the world depended on it. Juliette's heart dropped.
"Avery, I don't deserve…."
"I'm tired of you saying you don't deserve all this! You do. You deserve our family and this life and your incredible career. You're amazing to me, Juliette.. Even after everything that's happened, you're amazing and it kills me every day to have to walk in here and hand her away to you. We should all be here, together."
"I want that so bad, too."
"I know you do." he assured her, "That insane pedestal I put you on the last few years has been gone for awhile. I've been able to see you face to face, eye to eye, and I can finally see the woman who I fell in love with."
"I meant what I said, you're the most incredible man." Juliette said with confidence, playing with their hands that were still holding onto each other for dear life, "After I won, all I wanted to do was come home and somehow be with you two."
"That's why we came to you."
"Can I show you something?" she asked.
They walked into her room where the Oscar ballgown was sprawled out beautifully on the bed.
"You looked gorgeous tonight." Avery commented, gently picking up a corner of the dress and feeling it.
"What a few thousand dollars will do, huh?" she chuckled and he laughed with her.
Juliette turned a part of the dress inside out to reveal a silver ring sewn inside.
"Is that?" he didn't even have to ask.
Juliette carefully removed it from the dress, "I know it's dumb, it's not even technically mine anymore but I can't go anywhere without it."
"Funny you say that." Avery pulled out his wallet and dipped his fingers inside to pull out his ring.
He tossed it up and down in his palm and Juliette watched the soft moonlight illuminate the silver.
"Is it too late?" she wondered aloud.
"The day's just begun." he replied cryptically.
She was talking about the state of their relationship and he was talking about the 24 hour cycles that society operates within. But the two were more similar than met the eye. The Juliette-Avery story went up and down like the sun over the horizon. There was always darkness, but they had faith that the sun would come up every single day and bring the light in as well.
"Juliette, let this ring be a constant reminder of my love for you." he carefully picked up her ring from her palm and slid it on her left ring finger, "Whenever you're sad, or doubtful, or alone, I want you to look at it and know that I am always with you. I am stronger with you, happier with you, and just plain better with you."
"Avery what are you doing." she cried, looking down at her hand and the beauty of her wedding band right back where it belonged.
"I'm renewing our vows."
"We don't have vows, we're not married anymore." she reminded him.
"Perfect, then there's no pressure." he smiled her worries away, handing her his ring.
"No pressure." Juliette exhaled. What do you say to the man who you've both loved and pained more than humanly imaginable?
"Avery, with every terrible thing that's happened to me, self-induced or otherwise, the silver lining has always been you. Let this ring be a reminder of how bright you shine in my life. With it, I promise to love you and honor you every single second for the rest of our lives, exactly the way you deserve."
Sliding his ring back on his finger, a wave of contentedness and happiness rushed over her like a welcoming blanket.
"I love you so much." she concluded simply enough and finally closed the gap between them, letting their lips meet for the first time in too long.
When it was over, they both pulled back and smiled. Playing haphazardly with their intertwined hands like teenagers, Avery broke the silence.
"Moving on just wasn't meant for me, I guess."
"Me either, babe." Juliette laughed, "But as happy as I am right now, I think I need to go to sleep….it's been quite the day."
She crawled into bed next to the Oscar gown and looked back up at Avery.
"Well Cadence is already settled in her room and I don't wanna mess that up-" he awkwardly stood in the doorway, settling back into the habit of turning his ring around his finger.
Immediately, Juliette grabbed her gown and threw all ten thousand dollars worth of fabric on the floor. The father of her child laughed, getting back into the bed he spent many nights in, "Didn't that cost like…"
"I have to return it tomorrow." Juliette murmured, scooting close to wrap her arms around him, "Besides, I'd rather have you in here anyway. At least you're warm."
It amazed Avery how easily they slipped back into their routine. There were way too many nights the past year where he lie awake, haunted by her absence. How perfectly she fit in the crook of his neck, how many beats her heart pumped when she rested against him, what her hair looked like sprawled out on the pillow; those were the things that kept him going on those terrible nights. So he couldn't help but smile at his newfound reality. That same fit, the same heart, the same hair.
It made him realize that life hadn't been particularly great the past year.
"I scored two guys today, damn." she laughed, rolling over to face him.
"What?" he whispered.
"An Avery an and Oscar." she giggled.
He wished she could see how far his eyes rolled in the dark room, "Well he can come join us in here if he wants, don't let me stop you."
"Shut up." Juliette laughed, squeezing him just a bit tighter and straining her neck to kiss his jaw.
But life was pretty damn good right now.
And that's all that matters.