A/N: This was written the the samcarterfic gen ficathon. audrich requested: Sam firing a weapon! McKay should be mentioned/in it and Sam in civvies at some point. Big Thanks to kate98, smittywing, lilacway, daisycm83, and caroly214 for the last minute betaing and support.

"McKay! Let's go!" Sam strolled into the lab where Rodney had been holed up with his computer for the last three weeks and clapped him on the shoulder.

"What? Go where? – Wait – What are you wearing?" Sam couldn't contain her laughter. The look on Rodney's face was priceless when he got an eyeful of her outfit. She was wearing a short black skirt, tight shirt, and knee high boots – not exactly her typical Air Force gear.

"It's called a skirt, McKay. I certainly hope this isn't the first time you've seen one, although that would explain a lot."

"Of course I've seen a skirt before! The question is why are you wearing one? Colonel Carter doesn't wear skirts! I must have fallen asleep in the lab and this is all a dream." Rodney pinched himself on the arm and yelped when it actually hurt.

Sam smiled at Rodney's indignant tone and antics, but was a little disturbed at the fact that the idea of her in a skirt made him think he was dreaming. She couldn't help but shudder a bit at the thought of what Rodney's dreams might contain.

"No, you're not dreaming McKay. I am here and I am in a skirt. In less than a week you are going on a possibly one-way trip to another galaxy and rumor has it you don't know how to shoot a gun." Rodney looked liked he was about to say something but Sam cut him off. "Stop arguing! I'm going to teach you how to shoot. I can only imagine how many natives you're going to piss off enough to try and kill you, so you should be able to defend yourself."

"Aha! See, you really do care about me!" Rodney's tone got arrogant and he waved with his finger around obnoxiously.

"No, McKay, I don't, but if anyone is going to get the opportunity to shoot you, it's going to be me! So put the computer down, get out of that chair, and let's go!"

"Fine," McKay announced, "I will go with you, but first you have to admit you are attracted to me! I mean why else would you wear a mini skirt and fuck-me-boots to teach me how to shoot a gun?"

Sam shuddered at Rodney's characterization of her boots and her skirt. "First, this is not a mini skirt – as much as I'm sure your perverse brain would like it to be."

"I think I know what a –" Sam interrupted Rodney before he could finish his sentence, she had a point to make.

"Second, I wore the outfit to get you in the right frame of mind. Quite a few times our off-world trouble has been preceded by some alien bimbo attempting to use her wiles on General O'Neill or Daniel." Sam dropped her voice to what she hoped was a husky tone, ran a fingernail lightly along McKay's forearm, and watched as his eyes widened and his face turned red.

"And because, you obviously have limited experience with attractive women, I felt if you learned how to shoot around one, you would be less distracted off-world. Really McKay, I'm doing you a favor!"

Rodney gave Sam what she figured was his best pervy, self-satisfied, look and smiled. "Riiiiggghhtt. I get it now. Let's go 'teach me to shoot.'" Sam wanted to smack Rodney's hands when he used air-quotes.

Sam almost gave up and walked out of the lab, but she had come for a purpose. Annoying as he was, she really didn't dislike Rodney, and she didn't want him to die. She knew he would get a little basic weapons training before he left, the scientists had already had their first session, but she also knew, given his temperament, it wouldn't – and wasn't – going over well. Sam figured she had the best chance of actually teaching him something. The outfit, she wore just to screw with him – it really was fun to push his buttons.

"Well, it's me or Sergeant Bates, and I can tell you from experience – I look better in a skirt." Sam lifted one eyebrow and smiled knowingly.

McKay got a pained expression on this face and jumped out of his chair, "Okay! Let's go!"

When Sam pulled the car into the parking lot of the Academy firing range, she noticed McKay couldn't keep the surprised look off his face.

"Wait! You're really going to make me shoot a gun?"

"Seriously, McKay, did you really think I was taking you out of the mountain and off to some motel to have my nefarious way with you? Because if you were that deluded? I'd have to ask General O'Neill and Dr. Weir to reconsider taking you to Atlantis." Sam got out of the car and grabbed her gun case from the back.

"Oh, come on! You know you want a piece of this, all of the ladies do." Sam rolled her eyes at McKay's antics. His mouth was moving, and the words – the same ones he always said – were coming out, but, she just didn't think he believed in them as much anymore.

"McKay! Come on!" Sam grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the range.

"God, you are so sexy when you get all forceful!"

"McKay! Stop. I'm going to teach you to shoot and no amount of sexist behavior is going to get you out of it. I will kick your ass if necessary!"

Sam and Rodney walked into the range and over to the duty sergeant. Sam had brought her own piece, but she needed to check one out for McKay. Because the 9mm was the standard SGC sidearm, she figured that was what Rodney should learn on.

She handed Rodney his gun and safety equipment, and grabbed her own set. "Sergeant Forest told me that the west range isn't in use, so we'll go over there."

"I knew you had a plan to do depraved things to my body! Though I would have pictured you as more of the seedy motel or storage closet type, and not too into 'deserted ranges.'" McKay wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he prattled on.

"McKay! We are not going to have sex. Not now. Not ever. I am going to teach you how to shoot a gun. End of story. So start moving!" Sam thought about 'encouraging' Rodney with her gun, but that probably wouldn't be the best way to begin the lesson.

Sam and Rodney entered the range and walked over to one of the lanes. Sam set up the target and began demonstrating the basic elements of handling the firearm to Rodney.

"I know gun basics, Carter! They covered that in our lesson last week – it's not like I forgot. If we are really going through with this ridiculous exercise, can we at least get to the part where you shoot a gun in that sexy outfit while I watch from behind?"

Sam resisted the urge to shoot McKay, but she persevered. "Okay, I'm going to show you, and then you get to try. First, the most important thing is stance. Watch me." Sam slowly moved her legs into position. She knew McKay was watching because he was practically drooling over
her boots.

"Make sure you're holding the gun properly, with your thumb resting on the safety, and the pad of your index finger in contact with trigger, and it has a little bit of a kick, so you'll need to brace it with your other hand. Once you have your grip and stance, line yourself up with the target and squeeze the trigger – don't pull! Now be a good boy and put on your safety gear." Sam put her gear on, waited until McKay was ready, and fired off an entire clip in rapid succession at the target.

Sam took off her safety gear and recalled the target. Unsurprisingly, all of her shots were in the kill zone. "I hope you were watching me shoot, and not just ogling my goodies, because now it's your turn." When Rodney turned slightly pink, she figured she had her answer. He hadn't been watching her shoot, but watching her body.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Front and center, McKay! Time to see what you're made of."

Sam put a new target on the line, sent it back, and moved off the side. Rodney centered himself in front of the target and started trying to work on his stance.

"Move your left leg a little forward," Rodney moved his leg a foot forward – about eleven inches too far. "Okay, move it back about a foot. Good! Now move your right leg to the right – no your other right. McKay!" Sam gave up trying to tell Rodney how and just grabbed his calf.

"Aha! I knew you wanted to get in my pants!" Sam ignored Rodney and manipulated his legs until they were in the right position.

"Okay. Don't move! Now, grip the gun – good! Now aim and shoot!" Sam almost couldn't hold back her laughter when Rodney wildly fired the gun in the direction of the target. He was obviously trying very hard, but it wasn't going very well. He lowered his gun and squinted
at the target.

"Well did I hit it?" Rodney asked expectantly. Sam didn't really want to answer, because his shot had gone high over the target.

"Let's finish the clip and then we'll count. Remember squeeze the trigger, like you would a lemon." Sam smiled brightly when Rodney gave her a withering look.

"That was original." Rodney rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the target. He kept shooting until the clip was empty, stopping every couple shots for corrections. When he finished the clip he stepped back and took off his gear.

"Well?" Rodney glanced at her with an expectant look on his face. Sam recalled the target. There was one bullet hole in it.

"Well, I think you nicked his ear! That's a good start!" Sam tried to sound enthusiastic, it really was a good start, but she knew Rodney would consider that a failure.

"Right. I knew I shouldn't have trusted a woman in fuck-me-boots to teach me – too distracting. Okay, I came, I saw, I shot the gun, can we go have sex now?"

"No. You are going to shoot again." Sam pushed Rodney towards the target and reloaded his gun. "We are going to stay here until you hit the target a few more times. Don't look at me like that. Do you really want to make an ass of yourself in front of all of your subordinates?" Sam watched as a pained look crossed Rodney's face.

"That's what I thought. Now try again." Sam moved to the side and watched as Rodney adjusted his stance, making the corrections she had shown him in the last try. Rodney really wasn't a bad guy, and with a little help from her, he would be a More Likely to Stay Alive Not So Bad Guy.

After all, if anyone was going to kill him, it was going to be her.