U n d e r c u r r e n t, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and lyrics belong to Nickelback.

Warning: Adult themes. The pairing's Sano/Kenshin here in case you missed the summary. If you do not like such pairings, then I am terribly sorry. Sooner or later I'll probably write a pairing to your liking.

AN: I was listening to 'Figured you out' by Nickelback and I heard the line, 'You're like my favorite damn disease' and it just reminded me of them for some reason. This is from Kenshin's Pov, and I'm sorry I made Sano so cruel.

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U n d e r c u r r e n t

Reiya

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I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

There he was. Just like before.

I don't need to say anything. Your eyes are jammed open in panic trying to find an excuse, or anything to dismiss the situation.

But you can't. Because there isn't one.

Megumi covers herself and quickly leaves the room. Too shocked to say anything. You stand and look me in the eyes. Are you apologizing? You? You're never sorry about anything Sano.

If you were sorry than you would stop fucking around.

You don't say anything. The faint light from the moon makes you look beautiful. But you're not. I hate you, but I can't stop you.

Because...

I don't really hate you at all.

I need you, Sano. I've needed you more than you're needed me.

I wasn't gone that long. Only a few days. But you couldn't wait, could you?

You needed someone else. That's how it's always been. Just like with Saitou and Tsukioka. I forgave you for that. Remember? I believed it was a mistake. I believed you.

But...

I've never needed anyone but you.

You speak my name softly and approach me. Why do you do this? Your hand gently pulls me into a kiss and you tease me with your tongue. Will that make everything better? Will that make everything undone?

Bastard.

I cared about you. I still do. And you know that... don't you?

That's why you can kiss me and say your sorry.

That's why you can fuck me and say it means something.

What about Megumi? Did you whisper in her ear promises you can't keep? Did you say that you only really wanted her?

Your hands are soft and still warm. And that's what makes me sick.

But I'll let you. I'll let you hold me and touch me and tell me lies. Because I need you more.

And...

Right now...

With you above me,

I can think that you need me too.

I can think that when I saw you that first time in the moonlight, with sweat running down your face and your breath in heavy gasps... I can think that it meant something to you too.

You're finished. You lay beside me and take me in your arms. And I forget why I'm angry with you in the first place.

It's because your lips had just tasted another's flesh.

How can you turn to me and think nothing's happened? How can I still think of you this way? I sit up, the rest of my clothes fall to the floor.

And I hit you.

Again.

And again.

Until I can't count anymore.

I'm not angry. If I was angry I'd yell. But I can't, because I'm crying.

My fist smashes into your nose and I can hear it crack. I can't see your eyes anymore; they're covered in blood. Your jaw is twisted in an unnatural way. And your dark brown hair is matted to your face.

But... you're still beautiful.

The cherry river that stains you...

... still looks beautiful.

My hands fall to my sides, and you slowly rise up and wipe the tears off my cheeks.

I collapse into your arms and let you hold me because I hate you.

And just barely, I can see your bloodied lips smile.

You'll hold me and whisper in my ear again. Just like you did before. And I'll forgive you and say every thing's okay.

Because...

I love you.

... and you know that too.