" Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man…who needs you more than he can bear to say…who loves you, even though he hardly knows how?"-Shadowlands
"…in fact, I'd give you a smack if I didn't want to kiss you so much I could burst!"
They would have stayed in that sweet embrace forever if not for the risk of being discovered in one another's ams in the chilly courtyard. Pulling away slightly and taking hold of Mr. Bates' hands, Anna felt the lack of warmth keenly. She shouldn't have been surprised at how comforting she found his embrace. She had always felt safe, secure and calm whenever they were near each other, but having never been that close to a man before, she felt a twinge of surprise when she realized all other thoughts and concerns disappeared when she was in his arms.
She exhaled as she allowed a small shiver and she could see her breath in a puff before her. Smiling, she looked up into his eyes and saw the same relief and delight she felt thrumming through her soul reflected back at her.
"Are you happy, Mr. Bates?"
He smirked, "I thought I asked you to call me John."
Rolling her eyes mockingly, she tried again, batting her eyelashes for good measure, "Are you happy…John?"
He chuckled as he pulled her close again to wrap his arms around her. As her head came to rest against his chest, he answered, "Undoubtedly…My Darling." The trailing endearment was spoken in a whisper that reverberated through Anna like a shout in a tunnel. It was the first time he'd ever spoken that term aloud for her. Of course, it had been at the forefront of his mind whenever he took his leave of her, more often when he bade her goodnight. Lately, it had been more difficult to keep his tongue in check.
For her, he may have just stopped the world. Upon those words touching her ears, she felt a distinct pause in time around her. Her breath held in her throat and there began a deep fluttering in her belly accompanied by a sense of pride that she would forever belong to him. She was his: his darling. The happy tears that she thought had stopped began again in earnest as she clutched him tighter to herself.
Sensing her change, he pulled back to meet her eyes, "What's wrong, My Darling?"
Grinning to herself, she let out the breath she had been holding in a quick rush. *He said it again*
At her lack of answer, a seed of anxiety began to grow. *Did I say something wrong?*
"You-you're not having second thoughts, are you?"
Shaking her head, "Oh, John, no. Of course I'm not…I've waited so long for this moment, it's…it's just surreal, is all." She could see him visibly relax as his shoulders came down incrementally and his features softened. Suddenly, she took a full step back. Placing a hand on her hip, she smirked and, thoroughly enjoying the look of confusion settling on him, began pertly,
"Mr. Bates," her Yorkshire lilt extending her vowels, "did you really think that was a proper proposal?"
He laughed then, full and hearty. She continued with a lopsided smile and a raised eyebrow, "because if that's what you call proper, perhaps I should be having second thoughts."
Taking in her stance, he smilingly gazed at her openly and unabashedly while she softly giggled. In the next moment, she watched his eyes darken and his face turn quite serious. He closed their distance in three shuffling steps, his focus intent upon her.
Anna felt her insides quaking as he leaned in and softly rumbled, "Anna Smith…you have been my constant champion, my dearest friend, and the very reason I wake up every morning. I want for nothing more in this world than to see you happy. And because of that, I hope it's proper enough for me to ask you…will you marry this foolish, frightened old man…who needs you more than he can bear to say…who loves you, even though he hardly knows how? I will spend every day of the rest of my life thanking God for sending you to me, wondering why he sent you to me and what I did to deserve the miracle of you loving me."
Hands shaking, she wiped the single tear that made it's way down her face at his beautiful heart spoken to her. He was hers: her John.
And as she reached up to pull him into a kiss, she answered with a grin, "…silly beggar."