A/N: This is a gift for kate98, who had a bad day. ::hugs:: I thought a little silly fic might cheer you up! I coerced daisycm83 into betaing.

Vala and Sam

Vala was trying to seduce McKay without having to see him naked, when she accidentally did.

All she wanted was a particularly shiny and possibly valuable piece of ancient technology that happened to be in McKay's control.

So she went down to his lab with the intention of distracting him with her various charms while she slipped it in her pocket.

Except, as she was coming to learn, nothing ever goes as planned in the Pegasus galaxy.

It was supposed to happen like this:

"Dr. McKay," she would purr, "you are quite the . . . sturdy man . . . we should consider starting a liaison." Then she would run her hands up and down his side, maybe, maybe fondling his pants a bit if she had to.

And she then would unzip her top a little, and while he was distracted by her magnificent cleavage, she would take the artifact.

It really happened like this:

"Dr. McKay," Vala purred as she walked into his lab. He must not have heard her though, because he didn't even look up from his laptop.

She walked over to where he was standing and put her arms around his middle. "I've heard you're quite the . . ."

McKay spun around and interrupted her mid-seduction. "What in the world do you think you are doing?"

"Showing my appreciation for all of the obviously fine work you are doing here in the Pegasus Galaxy." Vala figured it was time to go to Plan B, and she ran her arms down his middle towards his . . . manly bits.

She was fumbling with the buckle on his pants when they just . . . fell down. And even Vala was taken aback when she realized that he wasn't wearing anything under them.

"Get out!" McKay screamed at her as he fumbled around his ankles to pull his pants up.

"Here, let me help you," Vala still wanted the artifact, and causing the man to lose his pants wasn't going to help her cause. She to bend down when she heard a loud gasp at the door.

"Rodney? VALA?" Vala recognized that voice, it was Sam. Damn.

"I hate to ask, but Vala, is there any particular reason McKay's pants are around his ankles? And McKay? Why aren't you wearing underwear?" Vala thought Sam sounded surprisingly calm for just having gotten a bird's eye view of McKay's man bits. Then again, she only got a glance from afar unlike the up close and personal view Vala was currently experiencing.

"This is all her fault!" Rodney yelled as he pulled his pants up and clutched them to his waist with one hand while the other flailed in Vala's general direction.

"You're telling me Vala stole your underwear? Vala, is that true?" Vala could see Sam smirking.

"Of course not! Well, I might have been the indirect cause of his pants dropping, but I most certainly did not steal his underwear. I was just as surprised as you!"

"Somehow, I don't think that's possible. So McKay, how did you lose them?"

"None of your business."

"Okay, then you won't mind if I go tell Colonel Sheppard that I just found you with Vala on her knees in front of you with your pants around your ankles. Got it." Vala saw Sam start to turn around when McKay stopped her.

"Wait. Okay fine. Laura has them." Rodney mumbled so softly that Vala almost couldn't hear him.

"I'm sorry, McKay, I couldn't hear you. Did you just say Lieutenant Cadman has your underwear?" Sam raised her eyebrows, seemingly in disbelief.

"Yes. I was wearing them this morning. She is wearing them now. If I have to explain how they got from me to her, I really don't think you're in the right line of work. Now if this hour of fun and semi-public humiliation is over, would the two of you please get out of my lab?"

Vala started to say something but Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the lab.

She'd just have to find something else on Atlantis to take home with her. That Major Lorne was quite attractive. Maybe he would be her souvenir.