Author's Notes/Rantings/Warnings: THIS IS AS DARK IF NOT DARKER THAN HELPLESS! BE WARNED THAT NEITHER OF THESE STORIES ARE FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. THIS CONTAINS RAPE, TORTURE, ABUSE, MURDER, POLITICAL INTRIGUE, AND VARIETY OF IN BETWEENS! This also switches between the past and present for the first few chapters but then it will split itself off to be the past in one chapter and the present in another. I hope you will stick with it since I know that can get confusing at least according to my wife it was so that's why I separated it. This is very special to me much like Helpless so I hope you will read it with an open mind and don't get too angry about the things that have taken place to get to this point in the story.
Yearning
Chapter 1
Regina shifted and slowly opened her eyes staring around for a moment. In that brief second she could almost swear she was back in the place of her childhood but then she remembered she was home. Her own home finally after so long without having one. She shifted her naked body sliding against the black silk sheets before she felt an arm previously settled loosely around her waist tighten and draw her back.
"Sleep is now my love. Why must you be such an early riser?" A gravelly voice spoke behind her.
"Someone has to rouse you." She spoke softly, her voice taking on the familiar lilting quality of seduction she knew her wife loved to hear.
A green eye peered at her from behind a mess of blonde curls some strewn forward across her lover's beautiful face.
"Oh? So you have rousing in mind?"
Regina smiled, turning over to face her fully. She brushed back the blonde curls and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "No. We did plenty of that last night."
"So we did. So what pray tell has you awake at this ungodly hour?" Emma growled softly causing Regina to shift forward and settle back down.
"Nothing Adonia," Regina tapped her nose with a long nailed finger.
Emma grinned at her private nickname that Regina had bestowed on her so long ago making an appearance. In her language that Emma had never fully learned but was attempting it meant golden one. She took a breath through her nose letting it out through her mouth. The smell of apples and sex permeated the air of their large bed chamber mostly because of their previous activities and Regina's favor for the smell since it was the first fruit she'd ever eaten upon being brought to the Enchanted Forest.
"Now I'm awake my love. What do we intend to do about this?"
"There is something I must do?" Regina asked even as she spread her legs as Emma moved on top of her willing to accommodate her in whatever way was wished of her.
"Yes you must." Emma slid down so that her lips were more level with Regina's and pressed them there. She felt her lover's deceptively strong arms come up and embrace her as their kisses quickly turned passionate.
When the sun awoke fully its light streamed through stained glass windows to light on two very content bodies hidden beneath silken bed sheets.
Regina opened her eyes much later to feel fingers running down her bare back tracing the outlines of the very large, very elaborate phoenix that had been placed there when she was sixteen an age where if something had happened to her father she would've been allowed to rule as was her right. Yet all of that had been stripped away from her, everything but the phoenix she wore proudly emblazoned on her skin.
"Emma?" She asked softly, glancing over her shoulder.
Rich green met warm brown before Emma was leaning up pressing her lips to Regina's in a greeting before pulling away.
"I have to meet with my advisors in a bit my love. Will you join us or would you rather lounge in bed today? I know you are still tired from your performance last night. You were amazing. I don't think the dignitaries knew what to make of the queen performing like that."
"They didn't believe me capable of such feats with my body." Regina agreed with a smile as she turned over dislodging Emma from her place sitting astride her hips. Emma fell back happily against the bed causing it to shake slightly though it remained solid when Regina turned over fully revealing her toned stomach and beautiful small breasts that Emma adored so much.
"You are a magnificent dancer. They haven't seen anything so overtly sexual though not since we made alliances with Agrabah and the Sultan and even then they were tame compared to your dances."
"It would be considered a great disservice not to use the body I've been granted." Regina glared a bit at her wife feeling insulted that her dancing was solely thought of by all including her wife as overtly sexual. "Besides that it's considered a great honor to dance that dance."
"Just as great as the one you danced the night I first set eyes on you?" Emma asked her eyes dancing as she observed Regina's eyes narrowing in anger at what she conceived as an insult. The icy fire and passion the woman displayed had been what had drawn Emma in, ending in her fall from grace but she wouldn't have it any other way and Regina for all her strange ways and words truly did love her. Of that she could never have any doubts.
"That was for you alone my love. Unfortunately I couldn't dance for you in a more private setting so I made do with what was handed to me."
Emma smiled and leaned down pressing her lips to the top of Regina's right breast touching a small star shaped scar that would forever remind her of all they had endured to be together.
Regina closed her eyes feeling her anger immediately dissipate. Her wife's warm lips always had that effect on her. "We must get up soon Adonia if we are to meet with your advisors."
Emma groaned falling back against the rumpled silk sheets as she sighed, "So we must my darling. So we must."
Regina dipped low, dropping to her knees on the cool stone floor as she rolled her hips forward then back imitating the motions of sex quite easily. She rolled her stomach every time she moved her hips upward and then dropped them back her head practically touching the floor as she arched her back. She slid one foot under her then the other rising up by keeping her back dipped and her head lowered. She shifted upward turning when she heard clapping and smiled knowing the only one that would be here would be her wife. This room was hers and hers alone. It was clear of furniture and had various mirrors making it easier for Regina to study the movements of her body as she shifted and moved. Most of her movements were done with her hips and stomach but some movements required her shoulders to shake and dip as well. The mirrors were set at various angles making it easier for her to observe.
She stepped towards her wife, the little gold bells at her ankles tinkling with each step until she was standing in front of the queen.
"You're majesty." She dipped low playfully before rising to her feet the red skirt she was wearing parting to reveal her beautifully toned leg all the way to the hip. It was just like the skirt she'd worn the first night she'd laid eyes on Emma.
"My Queen," Emma dipped into a curtsey as she smiled at Regina.
"What are you doing here?" Regina asked softly. "I thought you had another council meeting."
"I thought you were going to join me."
"I did for the first I would rather eat my own tongue then sit through another." Regina smirked at her wife who gave a hearty laugh.
"Yes I'm sure you would. Come let's walk the two of us like we used to. We don't get to anymore."
Regina arched an eyebrow but gave a nod of consent. It was rare for her to wear the big courtly ball gowns she was forced into as the wife of the queen. She wore them on occasions mostly for state functions but she refused most times preferring the flowy clothing she'd always worn.
"Do you ever think about writing down our story to tell?" Emma asked after they'd gotten out to the gardens. The halls had been mostly abandoned only lined with the occasional guard at various doorways and windows to assure the safety of the royal couple and their visitors.
Regina studied the roses blooming nearby in their perfectly set up stone lined flowerbeds and their high hedges nearby to offer privacy for a long time before she turned to look at her wife. The bells clinking together once more as she smiled at Emma, "do you wish for me to?"
"Our children may wonder just how we got where we are."
"We'd have to flower it up. No one should know the things we've done."
"We did them to be together." Emma argued always the more positive of the two of them.
"Two monsters ruling a kingdom that adores them yes what a pair we make." Regina plucked one of the roses careful of the thorns but still one managed to bite into the soft pad of her thumb. She pulled it away her brow furrowing as she watched the tiny red droplet run down her finger.
Emma hissed slightly at the sight before she reached out drawing Regina's thumb into her mouth and sucking it slightly, swiping the torn skin with her tongue. Regina felt desire spark in stomach as her wife's tongue swiped over the split skin wiping away the blood there easily. Regina slowly slid her thumb from Emma's mouth giving her a small smile.
"Would you let our children think we are monsters? I do believe they would find that hard to imagine given that I'm the daughter of their slain King and Queen. Remember I'm the sweet innocent princess that was spared from it only because I had locked myself away in my grief over your impending execution." Emma asked even as Regina carefully tucked the rose behind her ear.
"I didn't say that. I merely said if you wanted our story written you'd best make sure it's edited." Regina arched a brow, "And you innocent?"
Emma laughed, "Always with the quick wit."
"That's a part of why you love me." Regina pointed out.
"Indeed. Still you should consider what I say."
"I will if it will make you happy."
"It will." Emma promised brushing Regina's hair over her other ear careful of the rose tucked carefully within her thick hair.
That night Regina pulled off the tiara she wore in her hair which was pulled up in an elaborate style set with combs and various rubies, Emma's favorite color for her. Her wife would be busy for a long time she knew. She was at least able to escape. She picked up her silver handed hairbrush after removing the jewels and pins and began to run it through the long locks until it fell heavily down her back in thick black waves. She studied herself in the gilded silver mirror hanging above the vanity. She looked no different than she had when she first married Emma all those years ago yet she knew there were some differences in the way she looked logically. She rose to her feet going to the ever present dark wooden desk in the corner of their large sitting room. Quills and ink pots sat nearby along with various sheets of parchment. She studied the blank sheets before making up her mind. If her wife wanted her to write her story that became theirs so be it. She would do it.
Her first true memory was that of a dragon. She remembered the way the greens and reds danced across the warm honeyed skin of her father's back. Much like the phoenix on her back his dragon represented many different things, wisdom strength and protection. She was three years old when she saw it for the first time up close. She could still remember it so clearly. She ran her finger along every inch of exposed flesh learning every notch there. Often she had asked her father, the chieftain of the Kabbaish tribe a warrior by the name of Adar, what possessed him to keep her and he'd always respond that she was his darling.
Adar was a good strong man with the same dark hair and eyes Regina herself sported and yet she'd always known he wasn't her biological father. He never treated her as anything less than his most precious child especially after the death of his wife Fatima and their newborn son when Regina was barely a year old.
"Daddy, what does it mean?" She'd asked as she traced her fingers over her father's back feeling the scars hidden beneath the ink of the dragon.
"It's a dragon my dear." He'd spoken in his softly accented voice. "In our tribe it means wisdom and strength. The ability to rule is mine and mine alone and the dragon symbolizes my prowess on the battle field and my ability to rule our tribe with honor. All of our rulers have worn various tattoos like this one."
"Will I wear one as well Daddy?"
He'd looked over his shoulder at her giving her a warm smile his rich brown eyes boring into hers. "Yes my love you will wear one as well."
"Will it be a dragon?" She'd asked cocking her head, her dark hair spilled down her arm in thick waves barely held back by the leather thong that she always wore but especially when she rode with her father.
"No. Our tattoos are unique to us my dear. The seer will know what is to be yours and when you turn sixteen you'll receive it which will reveal you as my heir."
"Will I get to pick it?" She'd asked.
"No lovely, yours will be chosen for you unique and unlike anyone else." He'd tapped her nose which she wrinkled cutely with a giggle. "Now I believe it's time for Kabbaishian princesses to go to bed."
"Daddy I'm the only Kabbaishian princess." She'd folded her arms across her chest staring up at her father in silent demand that he acknowledge what she said.
"Yes you are my dear. And you will always be Daddy's little princess."
She'd grinned at that before slipping to her feet padding across the skins on the sandy desert floor underneath and slid into her blankets on her little bedroll. Her father had picked it special for her to make sure she was always comfortable. He was always good to her. He'd tucked her in like usual with a kiss to her forehead and a promise to be back as soon as he went to make sure everything was taken care of for the night.
Regina set down the quill in her hand as she looked up hearing the painted inner doors to their chambers click open. She liked the scene there finding it reminded her of home because of the golden hues and the camels present on it. She suspected Emma had it painted that way to make her feel more at home.
Emma appeared a moment later smiling at the sight of her. "You slipped off early." She remarked.
"I didn't feel like listening to the nobles peddle themselves to us anymore." Regina rose to her feet wishing she'd thought to change out of the uncomfortable gown she'd worn for the ball celebrating their new alliance.
"Do you need help?" Emma asked watching as her wife reached for the strings that laced her into the deep burgundy gown with the silver trim.
"Do you mind?" Regina asked instead shifting her long dark hair out of the way. Emma's nimble fingers easily pulled and loosened the strings until the gown fell to the floor quickly followed by the corset and her bloomers.
"Thank you Adonia." Regina praised as she took a few deep breaths trying to catch her breath after having her body constricted for so many hours.
"What were you doing while you were away?" Emma asked even as she pulled her own gown over her head and unlaced the front of her corset.
"Writing like you asked. My first memories; I was three and I remembered my father's tattoo."
"His was a dragon wasn't it?" Emma lifted both their gowns off the floor throwing them over a nearby chair in the corner that she honestly thought of more as a clothes rack then an actual chair. The servants would pick them up in the morning after they got up.
"Yes a green and red dragon."
"Why isn't your phoenix red then since you were his daughter and all?"
"Because a phoenix of ice fit me better," Regina moved and settled on their large four poster bed. The bed had once belonged to Emma's grandmother she knew. They'd closed off the rooms her parents used to live in refusing to go near them not wanting a taint on their marriage. She slid her hands along the dark cherry wood feeling the carved rosebuds and vines.
"I suppose that's true." Emma shrugged, "You've always seemed like fire and light to me though."
"Ice can burn you just as well as fire can." Regina pointed out even as she opened her legs allowing Emma to move in between them and push her back onto the bed.
"True but ice can also freeze you in time where fire will destroy everything in its path. Fire is more like you then ice."
"Because I burned everything in my path to get to you," Regina arched a brow even as she shifted so that she was more up on the thick feather mattress.
"Because we set the world on fire and created a new more fitting to our liking." Emma pressed her lips to Regina's quickly turning passionate as often was the case when they were alone together for longer than a few moments at a time. Passion was going to be their downfall Regina thought hazily as Emma's hands slid along her torso. But honestly who would complain after being married for nearly four years that neither woman could get enough of the other?
Regina sighed as she slid her arms around Emma that night pressing her breasts up against the exhausted woman's back. They'd made love for hours but now was the time to rest. She shut her eyes trying to think beyond her first memories to those of the time when she wasn't so very happy. They would present themselves as she wrote she knew and Emma would threaten the dead with murder again if she could find a way to revive them once she knew of her worst tortures. She buried her face in her wife's neck releasing a puff of warm air as she sighed and slowly fell asleep.