Random thought; what if huntress and a certain foulmouthed, paranoid, paramilitary, anti-hero meet, and friendship/possibly more occurred? DAHH DA DA DUM! I think that it also goes without saying that I own nothing that has to do with Marvel, DC, or anything remotely close to them or their characters.

Wyatt Earp

Written By: Druid88

A curvaceous figure was running as fast as she could along the sidewalks, trying to put some distance between her and her attackers. She was doing pretty good, all things considered. She stopped to rest, having temporarily lost her pursuers, clutching her side. Fuck, she thought. It was the second time that month that she had been shot. She was running again as they rounded the corner and found her, her cape flowing behind her as if to say, come get me, I'm wounded and trying to escape.

Helena Bertenelli, aka The Huntress, was having a bad night. It had been a slow one and she was eager to get home; she still had papers to grade, and had to try to get a decent amount of sleep before the sun came up. She had to stop though when she heard the voices, had to stop and look down from the overhang and spook two guys trying to pry open a jewelry store door, and the second they realized she was there, they turned, opening fire. She returned fire, and when the bullet went into her hip, her mind told her to screw it and to get the hell out of dodge.

As Huntress rounded a corner into an alley, she felt a second shot hit bury itself into her shoulder, and she went down. "FAAHUCK," she muttered. She tried reaching for her crossbow, but her arm just laid on the ground, useless. The two were on her, and she felt the pistol whip across her face. Her head turned with the force, making her spit blood and causing her vision to blur. So this is how it ends? She watched as someone stood over her and their arm extended, and her ears caught the sound of the hammer snapping back.She thought about how she had gotten here. How she joined the justice league and now, far away from anyone, she was going to die in an alley surrounded by garbage.

She willed her eyes to focus, to try and look at her attacker, to watch as the gun leveled with her, and in fear, she closed her eyes, and nothing happened. She opened them, to see her would be killer lying face down on the pavement in what she guessed was a pool of blood. She painfully turned her head to the other attacker, and watched as his blur fought with another, faster one. She heard the crack of automatic gun fire, followed by a harsh laugh. She laid down and closed her eyes, unable to move because of the pain in her shoulder, her hip, and now, her head. As her vision grew dark, she watched as the shadow walked over to her, and started to talk.

The figure stood over her, holstering his guns, and surveying the damage he had done. "Wyatt-Fuckin-Earp," he yelled. He walked over to Huntress and leaned over, feeling for a pulse. As he hid, he let his hand stroke down her neck, and through her hair, moving to her chest when he pulled back suddenly. A cackle filled the alley, "She sure is a hot one, I wanna touch her, just a little. Gawd, I bet she is a screamer, with a body like that she's gotta be!" The cackled started anew as the man shook his head and looked to the shadows.

"Dude, take a shower." He muttered. The voice cackled louder as the figure lifted her gently into his arms.

"Alright you're taking her home!" His head nodded and the voice crowed with excitement. "Dude, when you get her home, can I watch? I promise I'll be quiet, well, I might make a little noise. But you know how long its been since I got-" The man shook his head and barked an order.

"D, shut up!" The voice was silent, with the exception of a snicker, and the figure walked away, disappearing with the Huntress in a flash of light.

Huntress sat up, and immediately regretted it. She laid back down with a loud groan. She willed her eyes to open, and was surprised that she was laying on a bed. She looked around and saw that she was in some dingy hotel room, which didn't say much because as near as she could tell, she was still in Gotham. She could see all the stains on the floor, and the only light came from a flickering bulb in the bathroom.

She reached for her belt, for the pain killers she kept with her when she realized that she wasn't wearing her belt. Or anything else for that matter. Her hands flew to her mask, and she sighed with relief that she was still wearing that. She groaned then, and saw the bandages wrapped around her middle, near her hip. They weren't tightly wrapped, and looked like someone who had never performed first aid was responsible. She reached up to her shoulder, and saw that a similar job had been done. As her eyes became accustomed to the dark, she saw with some relief that she was still wearing her bra and panties. She looked to the chair near the bed, and saw that her costume sat on it in tatters, along with her weapons.

"Dude, she's awake!" She spun her head towards the voice, ignoring the pain, but couldn't see anything. Her hand inched out to the nearest crossbow, and after retrieving it, with effort, she managed to cock it. "Dude, she cocked it, com on, you know that's sexy!" She fired an arrow towards the sound, and heard it bury itself in the drywall. The voice now filled the room with a cackle and spoke again. "Gawd, she is feisty, I wanna take her now. I'll be gentle. I know she'll like it. Hey, what do you think she does with those arrows huh? I betch ya that she uses them for," The voice continued to ramble, and she slowly turned the bow towards the sound. "And she just screams her entire way through it, I KNOW IT!" The voice let out a howl of excitement. "Please, even if you want to do her, that's all good too. I just want to watch. Please let me watch. Oh Please, oh please, oh please! Pretty Please with a cherry on top." A cackle followed. "You've got to try Wade, you know how long its been since you got some tai-," She kept turning the bow, until she felt she found the sound.

"D, please shut up," she noticed a slightly different voice, and it sounded annoyed with the first. "She's hurt, and why would the Huntress want m-," She pulled the trigger, and heard a grunt followed by a harsh laugh and a flash of light. "I'm warning you, I know where you are now, and you can consider that your ONLY warning shot." She growled as a shadow moved closer to her, and reached forward. She brought up the bow again but relaxed slightly as a light turned on and she saw his face.

He looked like he was in his late twenties. She noticed that he kept his head shaved, and that he had the palest blue eyes she'd seen. He was naked to the waist, and she could see he was covered in tattoos, and dried blood that covered his arms. Her eyes traveled along his body, and stopped at the arrow that had buried itself in the upper forearm of his left arm. She watched as he reached up, and pulled the arrow out from behind with a grunt. He then lifted it to his nose and sniffed it, but she couldn't help but make a sound of disgust as he licked it.

"Are you insane?" He looked at her and threw the arrow into a garbage can beside the bed. She leaned over to retrieve it, and saw that it was filled with bloody gauze.

"I'm sorry, I thought you might have put something on your arrows, and my friend, D, he said some stuff and it kind of got stuck in my head and," he mumbled the rest and looked away, Huntress felt some pity for him as she watched him blush. He reached out, and even though she swatted his hand away, he checked her bandages, and nodded approvingly. "You've stopped bleeding, that's good." He said, filling the chair beside her.

"Who are you, and why are you helping me?" Huntress tilted her head, and looked at him, giving him a look she used on her students when she wanted to know why one of the girls was suddenly missing a pig-tail.

He scratched his face, looking away from her, and suddenly interested in the mirror in the bathroom. "My name is Wade Wilson, and I was out at a bar with my, my buddy," she noticed that he stumbled over the word 'buddy', but let him continue. "We saw you go down, and had to help. Sorry if D spooked you, he tends to get a little," he waved his arms around in the air, searching for words. "Carried away. After they were down and the cops were coming, I brought you back her and did a little 'meatball surgery' to dig those bullets out."

"Why am I not wearing my clothes?" She narrowed her eyes and let him hear the edge in her voice.

He blushed even more, and started to speak with a stutter. "I ya, I ya ,I ya, I needed to see how bad the damage was," he looked at her and gave a weak smile. "But I left you're underwear on, not that you need any," she gave him a quizzical look, and he continued, even faster. "That's not to say you shouldn't wear underwear, I just meant that, with you're body, you don't really need any, oh for Gods sake." He covered his face with his hands and walked across the small room.

Oh this is priceless, Huntress thought. She watched him and let out a small laugh. He turned around as she continued, and even gave a in a little as well. When they stopped he walked into the bathroom, and came back with a yellow pill bottle. He threw it to her, and then opened a small cooler near the bed and pulled out a bottle of water. She shook the bottle as he came back over to her.

"Tylenol 3," he explained. "I use it myself, so you know I'm not trying to kill you." To illustrate his point, he grabbed the bottle, shook out two and dry swallowed them. He passed her the bottle, and she took out one of the pills and swallowed. She noticed that he watched her, and seemed to visibly relax after she did what he had told her.

She started to move, and reach for her clothes, picking them up and shaking her head. She knew it would have to be thrown away. She knew she had another at home, but it was still a waste. The thing that sucks, she thought, was that I have nothing to wear home. "Umm, I don't suppose you have any clothes you can spare?" Huntress decided to lay on the charm, and gave him a smile that she knew would get to him. It was low, she knew, but a woman has to play to her strengths.

Wade nodded, and walked over to a beaten dresser, and after digging around, he came back with a pair of gym shorts, and a beaten T-shirt. She read the shirt, 'Dragons Killed the Dinosaurs.' She looked at him, her eyes repeating what she spoke, "Really?"

"Don't judge me," he said, walking away towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" He turned and gave her a grin. She liked it. He could be cute when he wanted to be, she thought.

"I figured you'd want some privacy." He said, closing the door. She stood up and slowly dressed turning to yell at the door.

"Didn't like what you saw then," she stopped herself after she spoke, realizing that her voice had come out with a purr behind it. What was she doing, she only flirted with strangers to get them to do something, or to make them forget about the guns in their hands. She heard him laugh through the door.

"Oh, I liked it, but if you want someone to watch, I could call my buddy D," she cringed as he continued to speak. "You might've tried to shoot him, but he'd still be interested."

"No thanks." she finished dressing, and pulled on her boots. "I'm decent." He came out, looking a little rattled, but he smiled when he saw her. His shirt hung down to her knees, and his shorts, which now looked like pants, that were falling off of very defined curves. Wade, he chided himself.

He helped her to the fire escape. And they silently nodded goodbye, and he watched her until she was on the roof, and closed the window behind him.

Helena limped over the roofs, and by the time the sun started to come up, she finally climbed through her window. Painfully she half dragged herself over to her phone, and slowly called into work. She hadn't called in sick since she had gotten hired. She told them that she wasn't feeling her best, which was true, and said that she would be in the next day.

With that finished, she went to her bathroom, and pulled off her bandages, groaning and she pulled the wrappings away from her dried blood. She looked in the mirror, and while the wounds were bruised and swollen, whats his name, "Wade," she muttered, had done a good job sewing her shut. She climbed into the shower and hissed as the hot water slapped against her wounds, but felt better for it afterwards.

As she fell into bed, not even bothering to undress, her mind drifted back to Wade, he seemed like a nice guy, she thought. If he wasn't so shy.

Across town that night:

Wade Wilson was a unique man, that's what he told himself, and that was what the doctors told him. It was what he told himself everyday when he woke up. He opened his eyes and looked out the window at the sunset, around 07:30 PM he figured. His gaze fell to the pill bottle that sat on the chair next to him. The doctors said that it helped keep him from becoming too unique. He reached for the bottle. The label read 'Zotepine; take three times daily. DO NOT MISS REQUIRED DOSES. MISSING DOSES MAY RESULT IN RESISTANCE AGAINST ZOTEPINE. Side effects include weight gain, constipation, sexual dysfunction, and dry mouth'. "Screw that," he muttered, shoving the bottle into the waste basket.

He got up and slowly dressed, when he heard D. "Man dude. I still can't figure out why you didn't stick around fer the free show? I betcha she woulda enjoyed it!" Wade looked up and saw D in the mirror standing behind him, that same smirk permanently glued to his face. Wade just grinned and continued to dress, he had to make money tonight if he wanted to keep staying at the hotel. "Come on Wade! You gotta wake up. She was diggin you, or she was thinking about me, I know for sure that she wanted me." Wade shook his head, smiling wide as D snickered. As he reached for his boots, his felt his fingers graze something. He reached under the bed and pulled the mystery object out, and was shocked to find a pair of black and purple lacy panties.

He looked to the mirror where D's mouth gaped before he crowed. "Dude, she left her panties!" Wade could only shake his head, stunned, as his friend squealed like a five year old girl. "Take a smell, PLEASE! I betcha she left them here on purpose." Wade only smiled, rising off the bed. "I knew it, come on man, we've got to see her again. Please, like I said, I'll make a little noise, but I'll try to be quiet." Wade just laughed and shook his head, putting the garment on his bed.

He stood up then, finished and walked over to his lousy closet. And reaching in, pulled out his two holstered guns, Tech 9s. He liked them because the ammo was cheap, but hated the fact that they jammed so easily. After he finished, he reached for the twin swords that leaned, sheathed, against the back of the confined space. As an afterthought, he reached out and grabbed a silver metal harness that hung from a hanger on the back of the door, and secured it to his chest. He walked to the mirror in the bathroom and grasped the red and black fabric that sat at the sink, looking into the mirror. "Ready to go to work." He looked at his reflection and felt D's voice come out of his mouth.

"You know it partner." Wade pulled the mask on, and felt himself slip into the driver's seat as his 'buddy', Deadpool, took the wheel. "Take a break Wade, ol' D will take care of things," he pulled a gun from its holster and spun it hard in his hand, remembering the way the chick, Huntress, had fought those muggers before he finished them, proper. Maybe he'd see her again, hell maybe he get her to model the panties for him. His mind spun suddenly, like always. Maybe not fer me, he thought, but definitely for Wade. He was Deadpool, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't help his friends. He slammed the gun back in its place and gave a howl. "WYATT-Fuckin-ERP," and disappeared in a flash of light.

Authors Note:

Deadpool is modeled after a college buddy of mine, who chased anything that moved, bringing me and my friends lots of laughs. He was also the person who always had you're back if you needed him. I'm sorry he didn't get to see more of the world. I also ask forgiveness in borrowing a little dialogue from The Boondock Saints, if you haven't seen it, I suggest you do, incredible movie if you can get past the swearing. I'm thinking that I might make this into a Series or chapter type of deal, but will only continue if I hear that people want to see more. If not, I think its great on its own. Either way, enjoy.