Murphy's Law of Oblivion
I will be asking for you, all five of my poorly misguided viewers, to help contribute to my crap project. I do not look kindly on duplicates or copy cats, however. If you do, prepare for me to scream, involve your mother, and think mean thoughts. Like I said, if you have anything that you would like to add, drop me a line. (If you, for some reason like this, go to any Murphy's Law website. I particularly enjoyed Murphy's Law of combat. Lol.)
Murphy's Law of Dying
Rule 1 - If you die and you are calm about it, you will succeed the next time you try. If you die and get mad, you will die a bare minimum of fifteen more times.
Rule 2 - The wolf you're ignoring because there is a hammer wielding bandit is going to be the death of you.
Rule 3 - Durable weapons aren't.
Rule 4 - The amount and quality of the enemies you are facing is directly proportionate to how poorly equipped you are.
Rule 5 - Your enchanted items will be at least twelve hits undercharged. And the only way you afforded this new weapon will have been by every single one of your soul gems.
Rule 6 - After killing and, by the power of the Almighty God, not dying, you will be killed by a trap, usually a log that had no apparent trigger.
Rule 7 - Your enemies won't run out of arrows, but, as a rule, you will. He will also be better with a dagger and have amazing poisons and enchantments, too.
Rule 8 - Those loading screens that tell you to slow down while running away is just Bethesda's way to see if you are really that stupid.
Rule 9 - You will always be just "this" far away from winning.
Rule 10 - When you made a character that will be your "it" character, have pushed the difficulty slider to the right and to the left due to what kind of enemy you are facing, became the master of a skill you have trained for, defeated your main enemy that you have hated for so long, there is a list of things triggered to happen.
Your game will crash, usually before you have saved anything.
You will forget to save, and your game will auto save over your "it" character.
You will let a friend play, and, while going to get something to drink, he will unwittingly sell all of your artifacts, armor, weapons, and rewards you have earned, thinking that he did you a favor. And don't do it. The police and the FBI will figure it out.
Murphy's Law Of The Market
Rule 1 - You will not get past the Novice skill.
Rule 2 - You will not get past the Apprentice skill.
Rule 3 - No matter how friendly and good you are, you will always be asking for too much.
Rule 4 - Even if you are the Champion of Cyrodiil, you will still be screwed over by a Novice merchant. There is no appreciation.
Rule 5 - While spelunking for enough septims for a silver claymore, you will get the money. Since you only want the best weapons that you can by, not accepting any outdated weapons, you will level up. The next day, you will be using the same ratty weapon to afford a dwarven claymore.
Rule 6 - You will travel across Cyrodiil looking for a better price, but all the bad merchants on this side of Cyrodiil won't have the money to buy your item.
Rule 7 - Spells are better then swords; they don't break.
Rule 8 - Swords are better then spells; you will always have enough fatigue to swing a long sword.
Rule 9 - The enchanted Elven mace will be a better weapon then the glass mace you just traded it for.
Rule 10 - You will never have enough septims for the healing potion that will save your life.
Murphy's Law Of Assassins
Rule 1 - That man you just slaughtered for your initation was your contact for a future contact on a mission. Bummer.
Rule 2 - When you have the perfect sniping position, somebody will wander in front of your target and not move until your target moves out of sight.
Rule 3 - Your poison isn't strong enough.
Rule 4 - The enchanted you're about to slip into his back is uncharged.
Rule 5 - You will never hit your target when you have the best poison, enchanted arrow, and enchanted bow. You will, however, hit an innocent bystander.
Rule 6 - Your perfect chance will forever be lost as you will be taking a drink at the exact moment.
Rule 7 - Your game will crash just before you reach a door which would auto save.
Rule 8 - No matter which escape route you have planned, a guard will be waiting for you.
Rule 9 - That room you're hiding in is the room that the body guard sleeps in. It's his bed time whenever you enter.
Rule 10 - That target you just killed wasn't the intended one, your green arrow was pointing you to the man with one hit point behind the huge, muscular man you just barely killed.
I'm going to take a brake and post this. If you like it, let me know! If you have ideas, let me know! I'm not going to add anything more until I get reviews!