A/N: So I was watching The Search for Spock the other day and it hit me just what a weight of responsibility Spock had dumped on McCoy as well as Kirk, especially without their knowledge. I mean, Spock had no choice in the situation at the end of Wrath of Khan but still I would have liked to have a scene addressing that. I love Spock and Jim to bits but have equal affection for Bones. I think he sometimes gets forgotten next to the other two and his feelings, though frequently expressed, are not always taken into account. So here's my attempt at that scene. Enjoy and drop a review if you do (or even if you don't). The first part's from Spock's POV and the second is McCoy, hence the language. I apologise for errors. Sweeney out.
Sch'inn T'gai Spock exited the turbolift on the Engineering level. The scene around him could only be described as ordered chaos. The clichéd oxymoron was surprisingly fitting. The crew were going about their jobs with fevered efficiency, desperately trying to find a way to coax the ailing ship into enough movement to propel it away from the imminently exploding Genesis Device, keeping hopelessness and defeat at bay with theoretical solutions, each more outlandish than the last. While it was true that only those assembled on the bridge knew the full extent of the danger, Spock couldn't help but commend the calm, courageous approach most of the men and women on board the Enterprise were taking. It was made all the more significant when taking into consideration the young age and low experience level of most of them. This had been intended as a training exercise. It was the first time most of the cadet crew, barely to be considered adults, had been in space in such a capacity and it truly had been a baptism of fire for their careers. That is, if they escaped Khan's psychotic revenge alive, which brought Spock back to his purpose here.
He crossed the deck and passed the unconscious Commander Scott with a single goal. The only way to save the ship was to realign the core and the only way to do that was for a person to volunteer to enter the housing chamber to reset it manually, thereby committing suicide. It was a sacrifice Captain James Kirk would never ask for. Even if there was no hope for escape for any of them if such a procedure was not undertaken, the solution would mean slow agony for the one compared to the relatively merciful end of being vaporised in milliseconds for all. Since Spock was the individual with the strongest constitution on board, and therefore the person most likely to complete the task before collapsing due to his Vulcan heritage, logic dictated that he be this person. The needs of the many would always outweigh the needs of one. Not that Spock's motives were truly logical. He was doing this as much for the students who respected him and whose intellect he had nurtured and for the friends that had become as meaningful as family as any grandiose moral or mathematical conclusions.
"Wait, you're not going in there, are you?" Doctor McCoy was at his side, restraining him by the arm, light blue eyes filled with consternation.
"This is something I must do, Doctor"
"No human can tolerate the level of radiation in there!" barked the physician's Southern drawl.
"As you are so fond of pointing out, I am not human" Spock shot back, hoping their customary verbal sparring would reassure the human. It didn't.
"Dammit, Spock! I'm NOT letting you in there!" the grip on his shoulders tightened.
Spock knew he would have to change his tactic and while it was distinctly unpleasant to deceive his friend it was necessary "perhaps you are right, what is Mr. Scott's condition?". Now, McCoy had been sufficiently distracted he left Spock's side to check on his charge. Spock placed gentle pressure on the nerves of his neck in a familiar gesture (he probably held the record among his people for the most 'nerve pinches' performed) and guided his friend's unconscious form to the floor "I'm sorry, Doctor, I have no time to discuss this logically" although he was really apologising for so much more. He wished he had had time to explain himself and obtain the Doctor's consent but there was very little of that most precious of commodities left. Jim Kirk didn't believe in no-win scenarios so maybe, if the universe was feeling particularly magnanimous that day and all the variables behaved as they should, there could be a chance for him as well as the ship. Hunches, chances, gambles. His friendship with Jim and Leonard had affected him more than he realised. Almost allowing himself a wry upturn of the lips at that thought, he placed his fingers on McCoy's psi points, murmuring a single word as he initiated the meld.
"Remember…"
They had done it.
They had actually bloody done it.
They had always come pretty damn close but never had they managed the feat of actually bringing someone back from the dead. Thanks to a combination of science and Vulcan mysticism that Leonard McCoy couldn't hope to understand, they had their friend back and whatever shit they had to put up with from the brass, it would be worth it. Spock would have done the same sort of reckless thing for them. Hell, he already had. Bones (he even referred to himself by that name now) was relieved the crew was together again and back on solid ground with no Klingon despots or crazed human Augments chasing them even if the solid ground wasn't of the Georgian variety. Not that he wouldn't miss the Enterprise (God, he never thought he'd admit that even to himself). He couldn't help feeling though that her destruction had been…right. Far better for her to have gone down in a blaze of glory rescuing her first officer and bridge crew from an enemy than to be decommissioned, dismantled and melted down or stuck in a museum somewhere like the Admirals had planned.
He was feeling unusually que serra serra about the whole thing. Sarek and Jim between them would figure something out being a highly respected diplomat and the most renowned Starfleet admiral in history. And even if they didn't, there wasn't much they could do about it now. Still the business with the Klingons...that was going to take some political wrangling. Leonard thought that was best left to the professionals. He was just an old country doctor after all. He might as well enjoy the Vulcan view afforded by the lounge of the quarters he had been given in the Federation Embassy before being carted off to some penal colony for the rest of his life. He had to admit, those spires of stone and the mountains backlit by sunset were beautiful and the stuff of all the best cowboy tales. Somehow, he thought with a chuckle, he didn't think the Vulcans would approve of the connection.
The sweeping sound of an opening door broke in on his thoughts. 'Well think of the pointy-eared devil and he appears'. "Doctor, is the Admiral here?"
"No, left to talk to ya father about twenty minutes ago, why?" Bones still had trouble associating that word with Jim.
"I…wished to speak with you alone".
Leonard raised brown eyebrows. Was Spock stammering? 'Well I'll be dammed'.
After a moments awkward silence, he snapped, more for the sake of habit than any real ill feeling "Dammit Spock just siddown will ya? Your makin' me nervous".
"I apologise Doctor; that was not my intention."
"Never is ya green-blooded hobgoblin!"
"I do not see what the colour of my blood or creatures from Terran folklore have to do with-"
"You should be used to it by now. I used to call you that all the time. Don't you remember?"
"My mind is still being retrained in what I once was. There are some areas of my memory that have yet to be reintegrated. However, I do recall that we had what may be described as a volatile friendship."
Bones snorted. "You could say that, yeah. You remember what happened on the ship though, don't ya? Before you, you know, died". Even now he was back, the memory of seeing one best friend dying and the other mourning him like a brother was not one he'd forget in a hurry.
"It is about that that I wish to speak, Doctor" replied the Vulcan "I am aware that I have not yet apologised for what happened."
Leonard's heart almost gave out in disbelief. "Apologise? My God, man! You saved all our damn lives with that damn martyr complex of yours and you're apologising?"
"It was something done specifically to you, Doctor. I rendered you unconscious and proceeded to mind meld with you without your permission, a highly reprehensible crime among my people, and deposit my Katra in your mind, also without your consent or knowledge. A person's mind is sacred to themselves alone for Vulcans and I violated that privacy." Spock looked genuinely aggrieved.
"Well, when you put it like that" Leonard muttered, scratching the back of his head. To be honest he hadn't exactly relished the thought of Spock sifting through his head but had trusted his friend enough that he wouldn't go beyond what he needed. "But you did what you had to do. What we always do. To save as many as we can. The needs of the many really do outweigh the needs of the few. I never thought I'd hear myself agree with you, Spock but it's true. Either that or I'm still feeling the effects of you knocking about in my brain."
"At great risk to both your mental and physical health, Doctor" interjected the Vulcan.
"You are a risk to my mental health just by breathing, Spock! Besides I imagine you're just as disturbed by having shared a skull with me."
"I confess, Doctor, I have never joined with a more illogical and emotional mind" Spock replied wryly.
"And, he's back! You see, you're getting there!"
"I still believe I was, amiss in failing to apprise you of my intentions."
"Let it go already! It worked, we're both fine. Relatively. So no harm done! And for Goddsakes call me Leonard off ship ok?"
"I believe the Admiral made a similar request, despite a clear breach of regulation. Is this a hallmark of human friendships?"
"Damn right it is. And haven'y ya noticed Jim doesn't give a monkeys for regulation? Especially when his friends are involved. He comes across a rule he doesn't like, he writes his own and we clear up the fallout. That's how the three of us work."
"A most interesting dynamic" Spock mused.
"That's one way of putting it!"
Spock turned to leave with a thoughtful nod of that neat head of his. He turned back to Bones with a significant look "Thankyou, Leonard" he said before exiting the door.
"Well I'll be dammed"
A/N P.S. What did you think? Hope I did them justice. Thanks so much for reading! Sweeney out :)