I stare at the sky, watching my brothers' fall. It's my fault and I know it is. I close my eyes. I'm so sorry, I think to them; hoping that in their last moments of grace they can hear me, please forgive me. Something rolls down my cheeks, wet, chilling my vessel's skin. Suddenly, I wonder if James Novak is still in here with me.
-James are you there?
-Castiel. I help on in here long enough to say goodbye.
-Goodbye?
-There's only room for one in here, Castiel. Now that you can't leave, that's you.
-James I'm sorry.
-Don't be sorry. This body has been yours for a long time. Years.
-Goodbye, James.
-Goodbye, Castiel.
I feel his consciousness slipping from my mind as we say goodbye. I'm grateful to him for this body. My body, now. Completely.
Finally I look around. I'm standing in a large field. Almost without thinking, I begin walking. In what direction, I cannot imagine it matters. Surely I'll find a town somewhere along the way. I just need to find Sam and Dean as soon as possible.
I was wrong. I have been walking for what seems like an eternity—which is saying a lot for me. My feet are swelling in my shoes, my legs ache from the knees up, my back feels as if I've been sitting all day even though I've been moving, my arms are hanging to my sides, my fingers also feel swollen. My eyelids droop as does my head. This is exhaustion. It's not necessarily something I've experienced often, but the signs are not easily mistaken.
I must keep walking, I think, but I feel myself losing resolve. I rapidly slow until I am just standing. Then I drop to the ground.
I don't know how long it is until I finally find the nerve to drag myself to a nearby tree and use a large root as a head rest. Somehow it's the most comfortable I've ever been. The root underneath my head feels as soft as down. I melt into the ground. I lose consciousness within seconds.