(Oops! My first fic and I forget the disclaimer. Here it is!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or anything connected to it.
Remember
He watched her as her chest steadily rose and fell. Her jet-black hair carefully braided by loving hands lay on the pillow where her head rested. Her sparkling azure eyes were closed, their eyelashes casting shadows on her pale face. The fading daylight slipped through the window's blinds, the only light in the dim room.
Here time seemed to stand still. Here he was happy…no, not completely. He was with her, but she was where he couldn't reach her. He wanted to see her eyes sparkle again. Hear her soft laughter. See her soft, rosebud pink lips part into a shy half-smile as a rosy blush stained her porcelain cheeks.
He let out a soft sigh, disrupting the stillness of the room. Rising from his seat across the room, he came to her bed. As he pushed back a stray lock of her dark hair, he reached into her mind, hoping against hope for a glimmer of a thought. Nothing.
Goodbye, itoshii. Till next time.
With that he left the room, silently closing the door behind him.
He made his way through the noisy crowd at the hospital lobby. Nobody noticed him. Just the way he liked it. Then, he sensed the presence of someone who would notice him. He slipped behind a potted plant as the other redhead passed by. He saw the flowers that the other held in his hand. They were her favorite flowers. It was this person's hands, which braided her hair. She was his sister.
When the other had gone into the elevator, he left and slipped into the crowd of rushing people outside.
"Where were you?" The annoyed man in a suit demanded as soon as he entered. "I couldn't reach you on your cellphone. You turned it off again, didn't you?"
He ignored the man as he took a cold beer from the fridge.
"Aren't you going to answer me?"
"You seem to have everything figured out," he finally replied. The other frowned, exasperated.
"Where do you go every Sunday, anyway?"
He did not answer except to leave the room. He locked himself in his own room and took a seat in front of the only window in the room. But, his mind was not on the stunning view. He put his beer on the nearby table and got the locked metal box on top of it. Opening it, he took out his journal. Slipped between its pages was a photo of the girl. As he looked at her smiling face, he remembered...
****
He watched her as she sat on the park bench. Intent on her book, she didn't even notice as he came up to her. But, she did notice when he swiped her book and held it high above her reach.
Half-laughing, half-pleading, she reached for it while he laughed and teased her. Finally, she pushed him to the ground and took the book as he let it go. She laughed at his ungraceful sprawl and the look of shock and dismay on his face. She helped him up, letting him pull her unnecessarily close to him. So close that she could smell the scent of his aftershave. But, it wasn't that which suddenly made her lightheaded and sent her pulse racing.
He cupped her soft, flushed cheek with his callused hand and lightly kissed her lips, making her blush even more. She let out a happy sigh and lay her head on his shoulder, holding him tight. He buried his face in her dark hair, intoxicated by her scent.
****
His head snapped towards the door. Someone was knocking at his door. Had been for some minutes now.
"What?"
"It's dinnertime," a low voice from the other side of the door said.
"I'll be out in a second." He slowly got up from his chair. He let his fingers linger a second longer on the photo before slipping it back into his journal and locking both of them up in the box. He left his dark room and walked into the brightly-lit kitchen, a false smile pasted on his face.
****
He shifted uneasily next to his partner, trying to look impatient instead of anxious. He was afraid. Not for himself, but for her. He and his partner stood across the street from her house. He knew that she was out with her brother at a festival, but still...something bad was going to happen. What was his boss doing so long in her house? The boss had instructed them to keep watch there while he and some of his toughs went into the house.
Finally, unable to control his anxiety, he scanned the minds inside the house. He sensed the boss' cold satisfaction, the toughs' callous indifference, and...nothing. Her parents... His fear grew.
He knows about us... And he's going to kill her to punish me...to prove that love makes you weak.
Panicked, he scanned his boss' mind once more. No. He though in relief. He doesn't know. She's safe. He's only concerned about her parents. Oh, itoshii, I'm so sorry...
He watched his boss come out. He stopped walking when he saw his boss shake his head. They were to stay where they were. He turned from his boss, who walked to their car, to look back at the house. The toughs left a moment later, mingling with the people off on their lunch break. Then, he saw her. Laughing at something her brother had said, she walked hand in hand with him. They entered the house and shut the front door behind them.
Suddenly, the door opened again. She ran out with her brother behind her. Without warning, the house burst into flames behind them. Her brother was thrown forward by the explosion and lay on the ground like a discarded marionette.
She had kept on running then turned back when she realized that her brother was not behind her. Then, it happened. It went by so quickly that he could do nothing, but stand and watch.
As she stood in the middle of the road, a car rushed towards her, throwing her into the air. He heard her scream as the car hit her and the scream's abrupt end as she landed on the hard asphalt with a sickening thud. The car, their car, screeched to a halt in front of them. His partner shoved him into the car and came in after him, slamming the door shut as the car rushed forward once more. The driver, his boss, looked at the rearview mirror to see if there was anyone following them.
Then, it sank into his numb mind. She was dead. His boss had killed her right in front of him. And why? Because she was in his way. He choked back a sob, forcing himself not to cry. There would be time for tears later. Now, he had to think of how he'd kill his boss and revenge her death. His boss would pay for what he'd done. For what he'd taken from him.
Her scream. He could still hear it his mind. And the bond. The bond they'd shared was gone. It was like the piece of him that belonged to her and her alone had been brutally torn away. Where once, there was her gentle presence there was a void. And her screaming. In his mind, it never ended.
****
He woke up with a start in his bed, entangled in twisted bedsheets damp with sweat. Her scream still echoed in his mind. He buried his head in his hands and tried to compose himself. Getting out of bed, he opened the window and let in the cold night air in an attempt to clear his head. He took a deep breath, causing his lungs to scream at the painful rush of cold air.
After a moment, he shut the window and went back to his bed. But, he couldn't go back to sleep. Instead, his mind insisted on replaying the day she went into a coma instead of dying.
Yes, she's alive. He thought bitterly. But, where she is even I can't reach her. She didn't deserve this kind of life. Not her.
What had gone by so quickly that day, now came to him in slow motion. Each moment remembered in startlingly vivid detail, making it even more painful for him.
The look of fear on her face as she looked back. Fear for her brother.
Damn you. He cursed her brother. If it hadn't been for you, she might be living a life instead of lying in a coma.
He hated her brother. He clung to this hate because deep inside he blamed himself for what had happened to her. The taunting voice in the back of his mind cruelly whispered that he could have saved her. He fuelled this hate with the knowledge that it was her brother and not him who finally revenged her by killing his boss. Deep inside, he was filled with anguish and self-hate because he had been unable to save or revenge her. His failures ate at him inside, killing him slowly.
He jerked out of his trance at the soft moan from her bed. He rushed to her side to hear her murmur a name. Her brother's name. His heart fell. To her, her brother would always come first. What was he to her, but the love of an innocent and trusting girl who no longer existed. She was replaced by the young woman who lay here. A woman who surely couldn't love a man who had failed her too many times.
She opened her eyes for a moment. He looked into their azure depths before she fell into a sound sleep. He lightly kissed her on the forehead not wanting to wake her, then left looking back only once.
Goodbye, itoshii. Till...
No, there wouldn't be a next time. He would never see her again. He was part of her past, and the past had no place in the bright future ahead of her.
And, even if, I was selfish enough to still see her, it would have to end. He thought darkly as he walked down the hall. Her brother would make sure of that.
He stood at the cliff overlooking the sea. It raged today, beating relentlessly at the jagged rocks below. But, the approaching storm was nothing compared to the turmoil within him.
He knew that she had already been released from the hospital. Needing to see her one last time, he had let himself watch her from across the flower shop where her brother worked. She had been there talking happily with her brother and showing no sign of missing him. Perhaps she had forgotten him. It hurt him to think that she had, but perhaps it was better that way.
He slowly walked to the edge of the cliff, stopping at the very end to look down at the sharp rocks and crashing waves. It was on this spot on this same day that he had first met her. But, back then, the weather was bright and sunny with a slight cool breeze. He had found her sketching the seascape with a blue hat jauntily perched on her head as he walked aimlessly about. Well, not really. He had gone there with the same intent he had now. However, her presence had stopped him then and he had never thought of it again after he met her. Until today that is. He started to take the last step, the sudden rain mingling with the salty tears that ran down his face.
"Shuldrich!"
He stopped not wanting to believe, then slowly turned around. It was she. Her braided hair whipped wildly in the strong wind, while her hand kept in place the same blue hat she'd always worn years before. She'd worn it for him because he'd said that it brought out the color of her eyes. Eyes that now showed innocence lost. Eyes filled with worry and love. Not for her brother, but for him.
He slowly walked towards her like a drunken man. He stopped in front of her, lightly touching her pale face with his trembling hand. She was there. She was really there. She placed her hand over his.
"You remembered," he said in a broken voice.
"How could I forget? This is where you promised to love me forever," she said smiling sadly. She continued after a short pause. "I know you where there when I first woke up, but after that when you never came again..."
Despite the rain, he saw the tears that began to fall on her cheeks. He gently wiped them away, upset that he had made her cry.
"I've changed...and I've failed you." He said drawing back and looking away in shame. He felt her soft hand at his cheek, gently turning his face to look at her.
"You didn't fail me. You failed yourself."
"I still changed."
"I know," she said softly. "My brother told me."
"Then, you know what I am."
"Yes, you're the man I'm in love with."
- Sunday, 9/17/00, 12:51 AM
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or anything connected to it.
Remember
He watched her as her chest steadily rose and fell. Her jet-black hair carefully braided by loving hands lay on the pillow where her head rested. Her sparkling azure eyes were closed, their eyelashes casting shadows on her pale face. The fading daylight slipped through the window's blinds, the only light in the dim room.
Here time seemed to stand still. Here he was happy…no, not completely. He was with her, but she was where he couldn't reach her. He wanted to see her eyes sparkle again. Hear her soft laughter. See her soft, rosebud pink lips part into a shy half-smile as a rosy blush stained her porcelain cheeks.
He let out a soft sigh, disrupting the stillness of the room. Rising from his seat across the room, he came to her bed. As he pushed back a stray lock of her dark hair, he reached into her mind, hoping against hope for a glimmer of a thought. Nothing.
Goodbye, itoshii. Till next time.
With that he left the room, silently closing the door behind him.
He made his way through the noisy crowd at the hospital lobby. Nobody noticed him. Just the way he liked it. Then, he sensed the presence of someone who would notice him. He slipped behind a potted plant as the other redhead passed by. He saw the flowers that the other held in his hand. They were her favorite flowers. It was this person's hands, which braided her hair. She was his sister.
When the other had gone into the elevator, he left and slipped into the crowd of rushing people outside.
"Where were you?" The annoyed man in a suit demanded as soon as he entered. "I couldn't reach you on your cellphone. You turned it off again, didn't you?"
He ignored the man as he took a cold beer from the fridge.
"Aren't you going to answer me?"
"You seem to have everything figured out," he finally replied. The other frowned, exasperated.
"Where do you go every Sunday, anyway?"
He did not answer except to leave the room. He locked himself in his own room and took a seat in front of the only window in the room. But, his mind was not on the stunning view. He put his beer on the nearby table and got the locked metal box on top of it. Opening it, he took out his journal. Slipped between its pages was a photo of the girl. As he looked at her smiling face, he remembered...
****
He watched her as she sat on the park bench. Intent on her book, she didn't even notice as he came up to her. But, she did notice when he swiped her book and held it high above her reach.
Half-laughing, half-pleading, she reached for it while he laughed and teased her. Finally, she pushed him to the ground and took the book as he let it go. She laughed at his ungraceful sprawl and the look of shock and dismay on his face. She helped him up, letting him pull her unnecessarily close to him. So close that she could smell the scent of his aftershave. But, it wasn't that which suddenly made her lightheaded and sent her pulse racing.
He cupped her soft, flushed cheek with his callused hand and lightly kissed her lips, making her blush even more. She let out a happy sigh and lay her head on his shoulder, holding him tight. He buried his face in her dark hair, intoxicated by her scent.
****
His head snapped towards the door. Someone was knocking at his door. Had been for some minutes now.
"What?"
"It's dinnertime," a low voice from the other side of the door said.
"I'll be out in a second." He slowly got up from his chair. He let his fingers linger a second longer on the photo before slipping it back into his journal and locking both of them up in the box. He left his dark room and walked into the brightly-lit kitchen, a false smile pasted on his face.
****
He shifted uneasily next to his partner, trying to look impatient instead of anxious. He was afraid. Not for himself, but for her. He and his partner stood across the street from her house. He knew that she was out with her brother at a festival, but still...something bad was going to happen. What was his boss doing so long in her house? The boss had instructed them to keep watch there while he and some of his toughs went into the house.
Finally, unable to control his anxiety, he scanned the minds inside the house. He sensed the boss' cold satisfaction, the toughs' callous indifference, and...nothing. Her parents... His fear grew.
He knows about us... And he's going to kill her to punish me...to prove that love makes you weak.
Panicked, he scanned his boss' mind once more. No. He though in relief. He doesn't know. She's safe. He's only concerned about her parents. Oh, itoshii, I'm so sorry...
He watched his boss come out. He stopped walking when he saw his boss shake his head. They were to stay where they were. He turned from his boss, who walked to their car, to look back at the house. The toughs left a moment later, mingling with the people off on their lunch break. Then, he saw her. Laughing at something her brother had said, she walked hand in hand with him. They entered the house and shut the front door behind them.
Suddenly, the door opened again. She ran out with her brother behind her. Without warning, the house burst into flames behind them. Her brother was thrown forward by the explosion and lay on the ground like a discarded marionette.
She had kept on running then turned back when she realized that her brother was not behind her. Then, it happened. It went by so quickly that he could do nothing, but stand and watch.
As she stood in the middle of the road, a car rushed towards her, throwing her into the air. He heard her scream as the car hit her and the scream's abrupt end as she landed on the hard asphalt with a sickening thud. The car, their car, screeched to a halt in front of them. His partner shoved him into the car and came in after him, slamming the door shut as the car rushed forward once more. The driver, his boss, looked at the rearview mirror to see if there was anyone following them.
Then, it sank into his numb mind. She was dead. His boss had killed her right in front of him. And why? Because she was in his way. He choked back a sob, forcing himself not to cry. There would be time for tears later. Now, he had to think of how he'd kill his boss and revenge her death. His boss would pay for what he'd done. For what he'd taken from him.
Her scream. He could still hear it his mind. And the bond. The bond they'd shared was gone. It was like the piece of him that belonged to her and her alone had been brutally torn away. Where once, there was her gentle presence there was a void. And her screaming. In his mind, it never ended.
****
He woke up with a start in his bed, entangled in twisted bedsheets damp with sweat. Her scream still echoed in his mind. He buried his head in his hands and tried to compose himself. Getting out of bed, he opened the window and let in the cold night air in an attempt to clear his head. He took a deep breath, causing his lungs to scream at the painful rush of cold air.
After a moment, he shut the window and went back to his bed. But, he couldn't go back to sleep. Instead, his mind insisted on replaying the day she went into a coma instead of dying.
Yes, she's alive. He thought bitterly. But, where she is even I can't reach her. She didn't deserve this kind of life. Not her.
What had gone by so quickly that day, now came to him in slow motion. Each moment remembered in startlingly vivid detail, making it even more painful for him.
The look of fear on her face as she looked back. Fear for her brother.
Damn you. He cursed her brother. If it hadn't been for you, she might be living a life instead of lying in a coma.
He hated her brother. He clung to this hate because deep inside he blamed himself for what had happened to her. The taunting voice in the back of his mind cruelly whispered that he could have saved her. He fuelled this hate with the knowledge that it was her brother and not him who finally revenged her by killing his boss. Deep inside, he was filled with anguish and self-hate because he had been unable to save or revenge her. His failures ate at him inside, killing him slowly.
He jerked out of his trance at the soft moan from her bed. He rushed to her side to hear her murmur a name. Her brother's name. His heart fell. To her, her brother would always come first. What was he to her, but the love of an innocent and trusting girl who no longer existed. She was replaced by the young woman who lay here. A woman who surely couldn't love a man who had failed her too many times.
She opened her eyes for a moment. He looked into their azure depths before she fell into a sound sleep. He lightly kissed her on the forehead not wanting to wake her, then left looking back only once.
Goodbye, itoshii. Till...
No, there wouldn't be a next time. He would never see her again. He was part of her past, and the past had no place in the bright future ahead of her.
And, even if, I was selfish enough to still see her, it would have to end. He thought darkly as he walked down the hall. Her brother would make sure of that.
He stood at the cliff overlooking the sea. It raged today, beating relentlessly at the jagged rocks below. But, the approaching storm was nothing compared to the turmoil within him.
He knew that she had already been released from the hospital. Needing to see her one last time, he had let himself watch her from across the flower shop where her brother worked. She had been there talking happily with her brother and showing no sign of missing him. Perhaps she had forgotten him. It hurt him to think that she had, but perhaps it was better that way.
He slowly walked to the edge of the cliff, stopping at the very end to look down at the sharp rocks and crashing waves. It was on this spot on this same day that he had first met her. But, back then, the weather was bright and sunny with a slight cool breeze. He had found her sketching the seascape with a blue hat jauntily perched on her head as he walked aimlessly about. Well, not really. He had gone there with the same intent he had now. However, her presence had stopped him then and he had never thought of it again after he met her. Until today that is. He started to take the last step, the sudden rain mingling with the salty tears that ran down his face.
"Shuldrich!"
He stopped not wanting to believe, then slowly turned around. It was she. Her braided hair whipped wildly in the strong wind, while her hand kept in place the same blue hat she'd always worn years before. She'd worn it for him because he'd said that it brought out the color of her eyes. Eyes that now showed innocence lost. Eyes filled with worry and love. Not for her brother, but for him.
He slowly walked towards her like a drunken man. He stopped in front of her, lightly touching her pale face with his trembling hand. She was there. She was really there. She placed her hand over his.
"You remembered," he said in a broken voice.
"How could I forget? This is where you promised to love me forever," she said smiling sadly. She continued after a short pause. "I know you where there when I first woke up, but after that when you never came again..."
Despite the rain, he saw the tears that began to fall on her cheeks. He gently wiped them away, upset that he had made her cry.
"I've changed...and I've failed you." He said drawing back and looking away in shame. He felt her soft hand at his cheek, gently turning his face to look at her.
"You didn't fail me. You failed yourself."
"I still changed."
"I know," she said softly. "My brother told me."
"Then, you know what I am."
"Yes, you're the man I'm in love with."
- Sunday, 9/17/00, 12:51 AM