A/N: I usually don't have any idea where my stories come from, but this one is probably the most surprising of it all. I mean, to get an idea for an angsty story during holidays, when you're supposed to enjoy yourself? It also didn't want to go away, scenes for it kept coming to my mind all the time and it became obvious it's not going to leave me alone until I write it. But, even though I mark it as angst, it's not the whole, completely, dark angst. It's generally not what it appears to be. This chapter is meant as a kind of introduction, and sorry if it's a little hasty. It was supposed to be a short prologue, but turned out to this size.
I also have to admit that I have no idea if the situation I used here could be at least in a smallest part possible, and I am aware that it may be not. I usually try to make my stories as realistic as I can, but this time I just don't know. If it doesn't make any sense, and it bothers someone, I can't make you read it.
Sorry for the long entry, and before I melt or fry along with my computer, I'm leaving you to the chapter.
To say that she was happy would be a huge understatement. In fact, she didn't really think it was possible for a person to be more delighted with their life, the way it turned out. She had almost everything she has ever dreamed about having one day; she had a job that gave her satisfaction, she had a group of friends, who she knew she could count on anytime, ask for whatever she needed and they would do everything in their power to help her, and she couldn't forget about Jack Hudson, who turned out to be the man from her dreams after he finally gathered the courage to admit his feelings to her.
It took him long enough, and Sue was starting to lose hope it will ever happen. She really hoped that her initial decision to leave DC, especially remembering his face expression after she informed the team about it, and then her change of mind and staying, he was going to do something, but it was stupid of her. Yes, he invited her for pizza, for a friendly 'I'm glad you stayed' night out, but that was it. As the month passed by, she found herself wondering what might have happened that day if Myles hadn't interrupted, as Jack had no idea she was staying then. She was never going to know what he had wanted to tell her.
But then, the case came, and she has been held hostage for no real reason besides standing the closest to the place, where their suspect was hiding. He has taken her and threatened to kill her if they don't fulfil his wishes. After he drove away with her in the car they gave him, then changed it on the closest petrol station knowing that there just must be the tracking device placed in it, they lost sight of them and Sue found herself spending two days locked in the damp basement, without any knowledge of what was going around. It was only when her team found the house, and they stormed inside, that she realised it was over. The first thing she noticed was a shape of a person standing in the open door, just a black figure in front of the light, with the whole equipment. After it, another shape appeared, without any armour or weapon, wearing just his casual suit – because as she later found out, he was taken off the case, although allowed to follow them there, and ran into the building unauthorised - and she didn't need to see his face to know it was Jack. He ran to her, freed her, and immediately gathered her into his arms, holding onto her for dear life. He didn't leave her side for even the shortest of moments that day, she thought he was going to punch the paramedic, when the man insisted he can't go with her in the ambulance, and if the look could kill, the nurse, who informed him that he had to leave for the night, would be dead. It was when she was released in the morning, and he took her for a breakfast date, that he admitted what he has felt during the past few days. He told her how scared he was that he might lose her, never see her again, and as he kept going he ended up opening up completely to her, throwing out everything that was spinning around in his mind, just needing to get it out.
She really wished it was all under different circumstances, but she was happy that he did that anyway. She assured him that he has nothing to worry about in their relations, because she's not going to push him away from her now that she knew what he felt. Instead of telling him how she felt, she stood closer to him, and gently placed her lips against his. She has never thought she would do something like that, and found herself reproaching herself in her mind, when she felt him stand still in front of her. Realising that she has just made a fool of herself, she decided to move away and possibly run away as fast as possible, but when her face moved barely millimetres from his, she felt his hand come to the back of her neck, holding her against himself, while his lips were back against hers. She always considered the kiss at Calahan and Merced to be amazing, but it was absolutely nothing in comparison to what he made her feel like in that moment. Maybe it was the awareness that this is not the undercover kiss, just a real one, shared out of love, but she found herself melting into his arms, completely lost in the sensations it was sending through her body. The love in his eyes, the smile on his face, when they moved away from each other completely breathless, the feeling of his hand catching hers, it all made everything that could prevent her from being with him stop mattering.
It was the beginning of the year, which she thought was the best one in her life. The year of pure happiness and bliss, disturbed only by the necessity to hide it all from the world, and especially from the FBI. They didn't even tell their families or friends about their relationship; the only two people knowing were Lucy and Bobby. It was absolutely impossible to hide it from Sue's roommate if they wanted to spend some time together after work – and of course they did, and Bobby just happened to disclose them, when they came back from their dinner to Jack's apartment, when Crash came to his friend to watch the game with him. He witnessed enough to know what was going on, but sworn to keep everything secret and even provided a cover for Jack a few times. They were lucky, and even if they knew that they can't just go on like that forever, they were happy to stay this way for a little longer. Yet, the opportunity wasn't really given to them.
They had absolutely no idea how it could have happened, but they were discovered. They were surprised when D. stormed into the bullpen requesting their presence in his office, looking furious. They exchanged glances and followed him to find another person, much more important in the whole FBI chain of command. When they entered, the man crossed his arms at his chest and allowed Dimitrius to give them the whole lecture about the non-fraternization rule, then handed them a set of pictures. They couldn't believe their eyes when they noticed themselves during one of their evening walks in the park, holding hands, sitting on the bench and holding each other, kissing. Agent Marks gave them no doubts that there were going to be consequences, and informed them that until the higher-ups will decide what to do with them, they're going to be on leaves. They didn't object, knowing that in fact, they could be both already fired.
"How could the two of you do this to me?" asked D., when the man left the three of them in the office alone. "I thought that despite being your supervisor, I am still your friend! Still the same guy, who watched the soap opera you were performing for four years, hoping that one day you will finally see what is right in front of you, before it is too late!"
"We wanted to enjoy being together without worrying about the whole rule, and one of us having to transfer..." started Jack, and D. silenced him.
"That's another thing you could tell me. I would have understood! I would have at least known and could tell the guy that yes, they were here, they informed me about everything. It's just that I had a lot of work and couldn't really focus on it, yet. But no, you had to leave me completely out of the picture and now I can't do anything but follow the orders I get! I will have to fire both of you if that's what they will tell me to do!"
They knew that he was right. Despite the promotion and being a supervisor, Dimitrius never showed any sign of treating them differently. Yes, he acted like the boss when it was needed, but most of the time he was still the old D., who they worked with for a long time, their good friend. They could see in his eyes that they have let him down, but there was nothing they could do to change it now. The rest of the team was surprised, if not about their relationship, because that's something they admitted to suspecting all along because of the change in the tension between them, then about them being discovered. They all knew what it meant for them, and were almost as worried as Jack and Sue.
It took them few days to get to know the decision, and even though it could be seen as a very nice one for them, they just couldn't like it. They were both allowed to stay in the FBI on one condition – Jack is going to agree to be a part of the undercover operation he earlier refused. He didn't want to go on it; it was a very undercover, highly dangerous and meant absolutely no contact with anyone for six month to a year time. He didn't want to leave for such a long time; it could pay him in the future but now, that he had Sue and the life he always dreamed about, he really wasn't eager to go there. Yet, after the long, honest talk they had with each other, he found himself agreeing to go. He really didn't like it, he was actually ready to refuse again, but the decision they made together was the opposite, and it mattered much more.
They didn't expect it to be so soon, but they were informed he was going to leave in two weeks. Knowing that he isn't going to see her for a very long time, he was adamant to spend the whole fourteen days with her, making as much out of them as only possible. He didn't plan it earlier, but in the middle of the first week he bought a ring for her and proposed. He wanted her to know that no matter for how long he was going to be away, he wanted to be with her forever. He also saw the ring as the proof of his commitment she was going to have, and as much as deeply in his heart he didn't believe she was going to say no, he didn't expect her to not only say yes, but suggest to have a small, quick wedding before he goes away.
"I want the world to know that what we have is real, serious... Yes, being engaged is a sign of seeing the future together, but it's like one day we are engaged and another we can just finish it... Being married means... more... I probably sound ridiculous, and you must be thinking I want to marry you out of the want to have you marked in case another woman wants you..."
He didn't see it this way, but he wasn't completely convinced it was a good idea, because he could after all, get into a very dangerous situation and everything would be changed. He didn't want her to regret this decision after his return, but for Sue, there was nothing that could change her mind about being with her. She was the kind of person, who would be with her loved one forever no matter what, and this awareness made him allow his heart to influence his decision and agree. The only people to be present at the 'ceremony' were their friends; it was out of question for them that they will give their families and others the opportunity to witness it, but under different circumstances. They still had a week together in front of them, but no matter how hard they tried to pretend not to think about it, it was inevitable for it to end.
His plane was leaving in the morning and he was woken up very early by the alarm. He was able to prevent Levi from waking Sue, and even though he later had to hurry to be ready on time, he found himself lying in bed a little longer, with Sue in his arms, trying to memorize every smallest detail. It practically broke his heart, but he just couldn't make himself wake her up. He sat at the edge of the bed, and placed a kiss on her head with tears in his eyes, whispering to her just how much he loved her even though he knew that she wasn't going to hear him even subconsciously. He left the apartment, and only when he was sitting in the private plane, with nobody around, he allowed his emotions to get out, as well as his tears to fall. He had no idea that it was around the same time, when she woke up to find him gone, even though he agreed for her to take him to the airport. She couldn't be angry at him, and she only hugged his pillow tightly to herself and cried, suffering because of the lack of chance to even say goodbye to him.
It was, however, nothing in comparison to what she felt when two agents arrived at the apartment half a year later, to inform her that the status of everybody, who had anything to do with the assignment was unknown, due to the explosion, but there was a very small possibility that anyone came out of it alive.