Ted and Robin, post 8.18 Weekend At Barney's.

T for some language. I don't own HIMYM.

Stale Yet Steady

Once Jeanette's left, the boots are burned and the final remnants of the playbook have been swept away on the wind, Ted runs upstairs to grab some bin-bags, and together the five of them clear up his charred possessions. Some can be salvaged, but most end up in the black binliners. They all help to carry them back up to Ted's apartment- he'll take them out to trash tomorrow- and then Marshall and Lily have to leave to get back to Marvin and relieve Mickey of his duties.

"You two can go as well," Ted tells Barney and Robin, "I'm alright,"

Barney looks at Robin. He could be on his way home with her to have hot make-up sex right now. Or he could be looking out for his best friend. There aren't many things which the Bro Code prioritises above sex, but loyalty to Bros is one of them.

"Nah, we'll crash here," he says.

An hour later, they're all sitting side by side on the couch. Barney's been asleep for ages- he's always able to sleep anywhere. Robin assumes it's an ability he's honed after tears of crashing out on strange beds, club floors and- occasionally- trash cans. Ted's spinning his phone round in his hand, and Robin's sitting between them, watching Ted though half-open eyes.

"Ted," she says, and he jumps- he hadn't realised she was awake- "Are you okay?"

He glances at her, "I told you, I'm alright,"

"Yeah, but," she pushes Barney off her and shuffles closer to Ted, "Are you okay?"

He gives her a half-smile; they understand each other so well.

"I don't know. It was never really gonna last with me and Jeanette, was it?"

"Oh God, no. She was a bitch,"

He laughs- her outspokenness has always made him laugh. It's another reason why she and Barney are great together; their big mouths get them both into trouble.

"I mean, seriously," Robin continues, "She was crazy,"

"Yeah," Ted concedes slowly, "But…Lily said something about me needing to be crazy for a while, so I figured…" he shrugs.

"Well, she was a total nutbag," neither of them miss that she's using Barney's word, "But I think Lily's right. I mean, this is pretty tough on you. It's not really fair, is it?"

Woah. That catches him. He stares at her. God, does she know? Does she know he's in love with her? Is that what's not fair? He has no clue what to say and his throat suddenly feels very dry.

"What isn't fair?" he manages croakily.

"Oh, come on, Ted, I know it's what you're thinking. You've always wanted love and marriage and forever, me and Barney have spent seven years telling you you've got a screw loose because it doesn't exist. Especially cos he's," she nudges Barney, "Been doing his madman playboy thing, and you're the good guy. I get it. I agree- it's damn out of order that the non-believers are getting married, and you're still waiting,"

Ted gapes. Yes, that's exactly it. Robin's right- it isn't fair. He tries not to see it that way; he doesn't want to be bitter and he honestly is truly happy for his two best friends- but Robin's right; on paper he's got a really shitty deal. The only thing she's missed is that Barney's marrying her, and that makes it doubly unfair. Ted's been there for Robin all these years, and in the end she loves Barney and not him. The playboy gets the girl, and the good buy gets left out in the cold.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "Yeah, kind of,"

"Well, now you've got rid of your headcase girlfriend, you can get on with finding your destiny,"

He smirks "I thought you didn't believe in that,"

"I don't," she smirks back, "But you do. That's enough,"

He gives her a long look, and sighs wearily. "Is it though? Cos I've been waiting a long time, and where is she?"

"Ted. You'll find her,"

He wants to tell Robin that people have been saying that to him for years and it still hasn't happened. He wants to tell her that he's never quite let go of her being The One. He wants to tell her that he's tired and lonely, and sick to death of waiting. But Robin's trying to encourage him, and it's not often she admits that he might be right about destiny- and she doesn't deserve to have him pouring his burdens out over her. And he really does want to believe her.

"Yeah," he mutters, and Robin pats his shoulder. Ted knows that she's only being comforting, but the contact sets his mind off about her and him and what they had, and the different kind of thing she has with Barney now. Ted loves Barney, but even after all these years, he isn't sure if he trusts him. Least of all trusts him with Robin, the best thing that he himself once had. He wonders if Robin trusts Barney either, especially after this Playbook fiasco. He doesn't want to pry- it's their marriage, not his- but somehow the words are out of his mouth before he realises it.

"Do you trust him?"

Oh, God. Idiot. Of course she trusts Barney; she loves him. She's marrying him, for God's sake. He looks away, ashamed; angry for allowing himself to get jealous and possessive and protective- especially as she isn't his possession and never was, and she's the person in the world in the least need of protection.

But to his surprise, she replies. And to his further surprise, she says, "I don't know. He's…well, you know," Promiscuous. Unreliable. Deceitful.

"We had a fight," she admits, "I was angry because he wrote in the play that he burnt the book, but he didn't. It's like he's not serious about us, he thinks he can lie and lie and it'll all be OK…anyway, he said that he'll always be a liar, but he loves me, so that's enough," She closes her eyes ."We didn't really resolve it, though. I mean, he let Crazy Girl blow up the Playbook, but…" she hesitates, opens her eyes and says with an hollow laugh, "The things I love about him are the things that make him a difficult guy to marry,".

She remembers chatting to Ted in MacLaren's the first time she and Barney were together. She asked Ted if he thought that she was kidding herself about Barney. She wants to ask Ted the same question now- is she kidding herself? Is Barney Stinson really ready to commit? Is she? Maybe she and Barney are both kidding themselves about the longevity of their relationship. They feel apart the last time- why won't it happen again? Robin wants to say all of this, but (unlike Barney) Ted's always honest with her, and she's scared that he'll confirm her worst fears. Besides, he doesn't deserve to have her tipping her worries out on him.

So instead, she says, "Still, you watched us pine after each other for years, you don't want to hear me going on about doubts now, do you?"

She hopes that it lightens to mood, but there's a definite sense of fear hanging over them both. Barney mumbles in his sleep, and they both glance at him. Ted remembers the guy he met at the MacLaren's urinal twelve years ago- the cynical guy with the suits and the smile and the Daddy's Home, who told him never to think about getting married, ever. And for the second time, Ted's mouth gets going before his brain.

"Remember when we were together?"

Robin's taken aback- it isn't awkward for them to mention their relationship- it was just so long ago that it doesn't come up very often, not directly anyhow.

"Hmm?"

"And there was you and me, and Marshall and Lily, and Barney was our crazy friend who ran plays and was all high- five and suit up. And…it's just weird how it's turned out, you know?"

His stomach clenches- God, why did you say that? She'll think you're being weird. You're being too obvious.

But she surprises him again. "Ted," she grips his arm tightly and looks into his dark eyes, "You will find her,"

A moment passes between them, and somewhere in that moment, Robin understands that he's in love with her. She can't say how she knows, and it isn't a momentous crash of enlightenment- more like an acceptance. Ted recognises her acknowledgement of it. As they look at each other, she knows that he knows that she knows; this is the situation between them, but that neither of them are going to mention or act on it. They both accept the connection that'll always be between them, and that in another world- maybe a world where she hadn't considered Argentina, or where that engagement ring hadn't ended up in her champagne glass- maybe it would be Robin and Ted who are getting married, and Barney would still be the cartoonish friend with the suits and the madcap adventures. But it did happen, and Robin is marrying Barney, and she and Ted are both going to have to be OK with that. The understanding between the two of them is clear.

Ted turns his morosely eyes to the floor. He looks lonely. Robin considers kissing him, just to offer him a bit of comfort. But- now she realises how he feels about her- she doesn't want to give him false hope or mess him around. They've both messed each other around too much over the last eight years. But on the other hand, Ted's not stupid- he knows that they're not going to happen. He's trying to be happy for her and Barney. He's her best friend. And he looks so sad.

Before she can stop herself, Robin leans over and gently pecks his cheek. "I promise,"

Ted's surprised, and he hates himself for the blush creeping into his cheeks and his quickening pulse. He remembers the moment before their first kiss, when they debated whether the heart has an off switch. Now, how he wishes that it did.

He wants to ask her if she remembers, but he stops himself and instead jokes, "Robin Scherbatsky's getting married and trying to make me believe in destiny. Who'd have thought we'd see the day?"

"Don't get used to it," she retorts sleepily. He knocks his knee against hers fondly, and they giggle just like they used to. When they fall asleep, her hand is clutching his arm.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

This is definitely the most challenging to write HIMYM fic I've published so far, so any and all reviews are much appreciated, no matter what your opinion. I hope it didn't get repetitive or wallowy or OOC.

Thanks again.