Sorry. Remember that I'm sorry. Truly I am. Remember this. Oh and also I finished writing this after Lana was announced for sbuk3 so if it doesn't make sense that is why.
Oh and this takes place about 25 years later so regina is in her late fifties early sixties.
Welcome to Storybrooke. The sign was something he never thought he would see again. Part of him still wasn't sure if this was a good idea. He wasn't sure if he would be welcome. He had left without even saying goodbye to the ones that mattered most.
He made his way down the road; the journey seemed shorter this time. Maybe because this time everything lay ahead of him rather than behind him. He saw the town appear below him, bathed in the early morning light. The orange tinge, making the town look menacing yet magical at the same time.
Two things struck him about Storybrooke. The first was that very little had changed. The same shops still adorned Main Street. The clock tower and the library took pride of place. Granny's, perhaps unsurprisingly existed. God he missed that woman. In fact, only one thing had really changed and that's what was most disconcerting of all. It was silent. Nothing ever stopped in storybrooke. There was always a curse to be broken, memories to regain, someone to save. He couldn't help but wonder if Storybrooke had become an actual ghost town, the former residents deciding that enough was enough. Or perhaps they had faced a foe greater than they had imagined. He hoped that this wasn't the case and that they had finally got a chance to rest.
He still had a few hours to spare, before he could visit the person he had come to see, so he traced a familiar path down into the woods. The clearing was now overgrown, brambles making home. The camp fire long gone. The tree where they'd shared so many memories still there. A reminder of what had been. He let his fingers work their way over the bark; somehow it made him feel closer to her. Sinking to his knees he let himself cry. Cry for everything that could have been. Praying for everything yet to be
/
Grief does not go away. Nor does the pain get easier to deal with. She still saw him, every night in her dreams, his goofy smile, and the sandy brown hair. His sparkling eyes. She still longed for his touch, absentmindingly tucking her hair behind her ear like he used to. She longed for the gentle caress of his lips on hers. She still held out her hand, before realising he was no longer there to hold it.
It hadn't helped that as soon as he'd gone she'd been thrust into another crisis. This time worse than any other. She had to face herself. In a time where everything she had ever come to trust had been torn upside down. She had wanted to cry. She had wanted to scream. She wanted him back. He had done nothing wrong. He had all his life to live. Instead of becoming a family he had been wiped from existence. It was like his story didn't matter. That he was some kind of pawn in a game, a cruel twist of fate. The hope commission laughing at the foolishness of a lovesick queen.
She couldn't do any of this. No she was Regina Mills. She couldn't let her emotions show. She couldn't grieve. She had to stop and breathe and smile. She had to learn to live without whilst everyone else got their happy ending.
Not only that but she had to face the worst version of herself. Someone with no conscious. Someone who had the means. Who had power but most dangerous of all had nothing to lose. She had to protect a town, to protect the people who had the things she would never have.
She was jealous of the Queen if she were honest. She was free.
She didn't know what to do she couldn't kill her. The Queen was part of her. She saw the first time what he had seen. Not a monster, just a human so broken and frustrated by life. Trying desperately to win.
She won. She defeated the Queen so why did she feel empty.
After the defeat of the Queen, Regina had become somewhat of a recluse. She hid from the town, only letting Henry in. Only leaving to visit Zelena and baby Robyn. They were her family. She loved them with what was left of her heart. Robyn was so much like her father, her eyes shimmered with emotion. Her smile radiant and she had the trademark dimples. Regina smiled. A sad smile, wishing he were here.
For weeks
In time she opened herself up more. She learned to live without. She visited Snow after a few months. She had meant to say something. To apologise for the Queens actions, to assure her they meant nothing. She had mumbled an apology, before crying. Snow had insisted there was no need to apologise. She was a big girl now and hugged her friend. Regina let herself breathe. She was loved. She would always be loved.
It took her longer to be comfortable around Emma. Part of her hated herself for it. She knew it was somewhat immature. Emma was just so happy and part of her was jealous. Emma, in typical Emma fashion, had got frustrated one time and banged on the door, until Regina had opened it. She had explained that she was Sorry. Sorry that life had been a bitch to her once again. She also reminded her that she was Regina Fucking Mills. She didn't give up. She didn't let the world bring her down. That Robin wouldn't want this. She had had a right to grieve. To be upset. To miss every single part of him. To wallow in it and let it consume her, that wasn't going to do anyone any good.
So Regina tried. She refused to become Mayor again. The memories to raw and painful. She opened Storybrooke's first law firm. Magical contracts may be Gold's thing but well he was still trying to reconcile with Belle and he wasn't the only one with a penchant for deals. It was more advising people on wills and retail contracts than anything else but it gave her something to do.
Henry grew up far too fast. She couldn't have been more proud of her little prince. He always made her smile and knew when she just wanted a hug.
Robyn gurgled and smiled. She reached for things that were just out of reach. She loved the little mobile that hung above the bed. She loved the outside and wanted to pick all the flowers. She kept her momma and her mama on her feet. Zelena had asked Regina to be Robyn's mama shortly before she turned one. It felt wrong for her to be referring to her as Auntie Gina. In time the family situation would have to be explained to the child, and Zelena would always be the mother, but Regina was too.
It had been twenty years since that day. It still felt like yesterday. Today everyone was gathered in the mansion. Henry wanted to tell them something. All together. Henry wanted to say something apparently. He was no longer a little boy, yet he still had the optimism and belief he always had. His heart bigger than ever. Robyn had inherited her mother's hair, the auburn hair in tight curls refused to be tamed; she was slender and had still had the familiar gleam in her eyes. She had taken the circumstances surrounding her father's death with difficulty. Not understanding why nothing could be done. She came round though and after that the bond between her and Regina became something even more unique.
/
Henry and his now wife, Violet was nervous. Taking a deep breath Henry reached for (both of) his mother's hand. She offered it willingly, giving it a tight squeeze. Her boy meant everything to her. She would support him in any way she could. She couldn't help but be worried though. Emma ruffled his hair, looking slightly anxious herself
"Moms don't look so scared. It's nothing bad"
Violet held Henry's other hand "Regina, Emma you're going to be grannies. I'm pregnant"
Regina let a single tear fall down her face. She couldn't believe it. "Really" she managed to choke out.
"A granny. Oh god I'm so old." Emma jested. Regina could see the tears form in her eyes
"Yes really"
Words failed her so instead she enveloped them in a hug.
Once all the congratulations and hugs were completed she excused herself.
She needed a minute to gain control.
/
This was it.
"Regina"
/
No. no this it couldn't be.
"Robin"
/
She was as beautiful as he remembered.
She no longer wore the power suits, instead replacing them with blouses and more 'casual' trousers. The epitome of grace and sophistication.
Age had treated her kindly. Life had not. He saw the sadness in her eyes, joy there too.
/
It was him but it couldn't be. Don't dream too far. Don't remember that rush of joy. "Don't do this to me. I am not strong enough"
"Regina it's me. I'm not going to hurt you"
"Prove it. Prove it because my heart can't take any more pain. Tell me something only you know. "
"I know that your full name is Regina Elizabeth Mills"
It was him. Or someone had done their research pretty damn well. She had only ever revealed her full name to him. She knew how much power a name could hold over someone. Particularly when magic was involved"
"Robin it's really you"
"Yes my love, it's me"
Regina once again couldn't find the words. She leant in, he still smelt of forest.
She smelt like apples. After all these years.
Nothing. There was nothing. She couldn't feel his stubble, gently scratch her skin.
Nothing. He couldn't feel the warmth if her lips.
It wasn't real.
Damn it.
It was all a trick. She had fallen for some illusion. After all this time.
No but this was Storybrooke. It looked exactly the same.
She heard him though. They hadn't had that conversation before. It felt so real.
"Thank you for your assistance Robin, the queen has never been forthcoming with information"
"WHO ARE YOU? WHY WHY DO THIS. WHERE AM I"
"Sorry I'm late Robin and no need to fret. I am Morpheus. I control the dream world. The connection between the queen and yourself is remarkably strong. I needed that. I need her. I need both of you so I let you reach out. It takes time. A lot of time but as a wise man once said Maybe things work out when they're supposed to. Maybe it's all about timing"
"DON'T HURT HER"
"Regina Regina are you still there"
She was trapped.
"Regina listen to me. I love you. I never got to tell you that. I never even got to say goodbye. You have to let me go. You have to move on. We can't live like this. I have to leave."
"Robin I love you. I am more than in love with you. I I can't let you go. "
"Regina don't lose sight of who you are"
He drifted away and Regina opened her eyes.
/
She often felt lonely, despite a crowded room. She liked to stay up late, and tell stories to the moon. She danced in what little light, the stars allowed to be seen, and she often kept herself awake, for the night is but a dream.
Okay so to clear things up Violet is actually pregnant but Robin is still 'dead'. He's not wiped from existence because that's just ridiculous but he is trapped in a kind of purgatory between the Underworld, and a dream world. He can see Regina, Regina can see him. Their love means that in their dreams they can 'talk' to each other but once the sun rises that connection stops oh and they can't touch each other. Thinks Doomsday from doctor who
Savvy?