It's Complicated - Chapter 1

Summary: Axel – no, damn it, it's Lea now – is tired of waiting, Riku's kicking himself for waiting too long, and Sora would just like to be able to figure out if all these weird new feelings are actually his or not, thank you very much.

Notes: So here's a thing I started to write, ummm...six years ago? And I would like to actually finish it, so I'm posting it here to motivate myself lol.

This picks up immediately where KH3D ended and will probably ignore anything that happens after that – in 2.8, trailers, KHIII, whatever. Multiple pairings incoming!

There was a moment just after Sora woke up but before he somehow managed to get himself involved in a ridiculous tea party with Donald and Goofy – oh, who was he kidding, those glasses were amazing – but anyway, there was a moment when he was coming to, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and stretching his arms above his head, that he glanced up and quite suddenly caught Axel looking at him.

Like, really looking, his gaze focused and intense, and something inside of Sora's chest squeezed painfully and his stomach lurched in a way it never had before, and for a second he couldn't breathe.

Axel, what was Axel doing here, how was he– "Axel!" Sora gasped out, and the moment broke. Axel rolled his eyes and looked away, muttering something under his breath, and Sora was suddenly swept up in a flurry of exclamations as his friends noticed he was awake. They explained how Axel wasn't really Axel, he was apparently going by Lea now, was actually a different person – sort of – and it was true, now that Sora looked more closely, he wasn't Axel at all. The tattoos under his eyes were missing, for one thing, and Sora felt a strange pang at the realization.

Then the warm weight of Riku still sleeping at his side finally registered, and Sora set the odd feelings aside and decided not to worry about it for now. Waiting for Riku to wake up came first.

Well, that and the tea party.

xXxXx

Later, after Riku woke up and Master Yen Sid proclaimed him a Keyblade Master (but not Sora – which was kind of unexpected but no big deal and Riku totally deserved it anyway because Riku was awesome), Lea said something about having to check up on things at Radiant Garden. A few minutes after he disappeared through the door, Sora unwittingly found himself following after.

It seemed Lea had expected that because he was leaning against the wall of the Tower, arms crossed over his chest, when Sora stepped outside. Sora paused, for once in his life uncertain what to say, and Lea gave him another one of those looks, his eyes dragging up and down Sora's body. It caused a shiver to run down his spine.

"You do look like him," Lea said suddenly, and Sora gave him a confused frown.

"Who? Oh, you mean Roxas?" Sora threaded his fingers together behind his head and glanced skyward. "Yeah, I've heard that before." He looked at Lea out of the corner of his eye. "So...you remember him, then?"

Lea smirked. "Oh yeah." He tapped the side of his head. "It's all up here, everything that happened to Axel. They're not my memories, but I know what went down. Kinda feels like his brief stint of life was all a movie I watched once upon a time or something, you know?"

Sora sucked in a breath, feeling that weird pang again. "Yeah… I'm – it's sort of the same. For me."

"Axel had my memories, too, so I don't know if he forgot or just didn't have it in him to care about the details, but here's the thing." Lea pushed off the wall and turned to face Sora completely. "You look like Roxas, but not in that creepy long-lost-identical-twin-separated-at-birth type of way like the rest of us did." He leaned forward and Sora, for some totally inexplicable reason – what was wrong with him today? – felt his heart rate abruptly pick up. "Roxas looks like someone else. Another guy. I remember who now."

"Another guy?" Sora repeated blankly. His brow furrowed. "What – what other guy, why is there–" Without realizing it, his hands dropped from behind his head and clenched into fists at his sides. "Who?" he demanded, and Lea laughed.

"Whoa, whoa, chill, Roxas," he said, still chuckling. "Don't freak out on me, he's just someone I met once. Only a friend, I swear." Lea pulled back a bit. "Now I wonder what happened to him, though. Especially since…" He trailed off, eyeing Sora again, and Sora swallowed.

"…It's Sora," he said after a moment. He absently rubbed at his chest, wondering why the thought of…someone else, of Axel – Lea – knowing someone else who looked like Roxas made him feel so…weird. And kind of mad. And…jealous? Sora looked at Lea. "Roxas is his own person."

Something a little sad passed over Lea's face, fast enough that Sora almost missed it, before he shook his head. "Except he's not." He grinned, but it didn't look real. "If he was, he'd be here. For that matter, so would Axel." He leaned forward again and Sora's eyes went wide. "But they're not. Because they're us." Lea reached out, gloved fingers grasping Sora's chin before he could back away. "So we're the ones who have to deal with all their shit."

"What–" Sora started to say, his voice a little too breathy for his liking, but then Lea closed the distance between them and Sora felt a brief moment of confused panic when Lea's mouth landed on his own. He stood there, thinking maybe he should pull back or struggle away or – or something, but then flashes of memories floated to the forefront of his mind, red hair and sunsets and ice cream, and warmth bubbled up in Sora's chest along with something that felt like relief and a sense of finally and it was all Sora could do to grab at Axel's coat and pull him closer, holding him tight as he kissed him back.

…Lea. He was kissing Lea, damn it, not Axel and–

And he was kissing Lea.

Kissing him.

Lea.

Oh wow, that had not been part of the plan – not that there was a plan. He'd just wanted to talk to Lea, not…this.

…Right? Maybe.

Probably.

Sora's thoughts were all a jumble. He couldn't seem to focus on anything other than the comforting press of Lea against him, the warm slide of their lips over each other, and when Lea finally started to pull away, Sora was surprised to find that he didn't want him to. Which was beyond odd, because he was pretty sure he'd never thought about kissing Lea before – well, okay, he'd only known Lea for about five seconds, but he'd certainly never thought about kissing Axel, and if that was something Roxas was into then Sora thought maybe he should have known about it. Hell, Sora hadn't ever really kissed anyone before, but he'd always kind of thought his first kiss would come from Kairi. Or maybe some other girl. But probably Kairi. If he was going to go around kissing guys, then the obvious choice would've been–

His thoughts were interrupted by Lea's sudden bark of laughter, and then there was a thumb swiping over his bottom lip and a palm sort of cupping his jaw, and Sora realized that at some point Lea had taken off his gloves. Which was nice, honestly. Lea's hands were softer than Sora had expected – or would have expected, again, if he'd thought about this kind of thing before and – and he was really going to have to have a little chat with Roxas later, because this was getting ridiculous.

If he even could. Was that possible? Sora hadn't ever tried before. Every time Roxas had appeared before him, in visions, in dreams, in whatever, it'd always just kind of been an accident.

Lea laughed again, more softly this time, and Sora looked up at him. Way up, seriously, Lea was tall.

"Geez, Sora, pout much?" Lea said, and Sora jerked backwards out of Lea's grasp.

"I'm not pouting!" he exclaimed. Because he wasn't. Why would he be?

Lea rolled his eyes and let his hand drop. "Didn't say it was a bad thing. If you want me to kiss you again, I'm game."

"That's not why I'm–!"

"Pouting?" Lea supplied, and Sora scowled.

"No!"

"You're totally moping, don't lie. You had a look."

"I wasn't, I was…thinking."

"Ah." Lea nodded in understanding. "Must've been painful."

"Oh, shut up," Sora said exasperatedly.

Lea snapped his fingers and pointed at him, a grin quickly breaking out on his face. "There he is!" he said. "That's totally Roxas coming through."

Sora groaned and dragged his hands over his face, pushing them back into his hair. "You never even met him!"

"Yeah, but Axel did. They hung out." Lea's grin morphed into something more smirk-like. "Like, a lot. Roxas meant everything to him. Made him feel like he had a heart. But given that he was a Nobody, he didn't really know what to do with all that." Lea gave a dismissive wave with his hand. "Emotions, how annoying. Must've been nice to have the excuse that you're not supposed to feel. 'S bullshit, really. He felt. They felt. They just told themselves it wasn't real."

"But it was real," Sora said, somewhat defensively. "It was always real."

Lea looked at him. "Of course it was." He raised an eyebrow. "You made him feel the same way."

Sora sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, he mentioned that."

"Look, I know it's complicated," Lea said. "And kind of weird. But it's there, inside both of us, and there's not really much we can do to change it. Those two spent a long time together and I doubt either of us is going to be able to pretend it never happened."

"Well, not now that you're here," Sora mumbled, and okay, now he was pouting. Lea must have noticed, because the next thing Sora knew he was swooping forward and kissing Sora again, shorter this time, but he lingered as he drew back and Sora had to fight to keep himself from following after him.

"Give that to Roxas for me," Lea said, his breath ghosting over Sora's lips. "And think about it. Okay?"

Sora let his eyes slide shut. He took a deep breath and nodded, and then Lea kissed him a final time before stepping away. "You said we're the same person," Sora called after him, eyes still closed.

"You are," Lea called back. He sounded like he was smiling. "I'll be seeing you, Sora." And then he was gone before Sora could answer.

Sora opened his eyes, staring at the spot where Lea had last been standing until Riku and the others came looking for him.

"You've been out here awhile," Riku said. "Did Axel leave?"

"Lea," Sora corrected automatically. He didn't turn around. If he did, he was pretty sure Riku would magically know what had happened and Sora wasn't sure how he felt about that. "And yeah, but he said he'd be back. Listen, uh…I need to go, too. I – I have to check on something." Which wasn't entirely true, or at least it wasn't until he said it and realized that he did, in fact, have something he wanted to go do which meant that he wasn't lying or running away or – hey, he was (almost) a Keyblade Master, okay, he didn't run away.

…Usually.

Except for now.

Riku frowned. Sora couldn't see it, since he was still stubbornly facing the other way and all, but he could feel it.

"Do ya have to go?" Goofy asked.

"Well…" Sora fished around for an answer that wouldn't completely give him away. "I did doze off… I just have some stuff to take care of."

"Are you gonna be okay?" said Donald, and Sora winced. Okay, so much for having a sudden emotional crisis in secret. But then, Donald always had been able to read him like a book.

"Yeah. I won't be long," he promised.

"Be careful," Mickey chimed in.

And then, because Sora was surrounded by too-awesome friends who could see right through him – which was totally not fair, by the way – Riku threw in his own: "Very careful."

He said it casually. Too casually.

Busted.

"Right." Sora glanced over his shoulder, meeting Riku's eyes, and then quickly turned back around to summon his Keyblade. "See you soon," he said.

And then he hightailed it out of there.

xXxXx

Of course, Riku found him later in Traverse Town.

He was sitting on one of the roofs in the Fourth District, staring blankly out over the rest of the brightly lit buildings and idly stroking the back of the Meow Wow that was sprawled across his lap.

"Hey," Riku said, toeing at the Hebby Rep that had settled in at Sora's side until it chittered at him and hopped away. Riku plopped down in its place – or sat gracefully, really, plopping wasn't something Riku did well. Sora had mastered the art of plopping the second after he'd mastered standing up for the first time, but Riku somehow managed to make everything look practiced and fluid. "…You alright?" Riku asked after a couple minutes, and Sora realized he'd forgone returning Riku's greeting in favor of scrutinizing the way he moved, what the hell.

"Yeah!" he said brightly, way too late. "Hi! Hey. Sorry. I was just thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself," Riku said dryly, and Sora rolled his eyes.

"You're the second person to make a joke like that today," he said. "And just so you know? Still not funny."

Riku snorted. "Sure," he said. "Who was the other person?"

"Lea."

"Ah." Riku brought his knees up, leaning forward so he could drape his arms over them, and tried to catch Sora's eye. "Is that who you're thinking about?"

Sora reached up to tug at a spiky lock of hair that had flopped down into face, mostly so that he didn't have to look at Riku. "Uh… Well, yeah. Kind of. I guess. How'd you know?"

"You were talking to him for a while before we came out. And then you just left." Riku shrugged. "Thought maybe it had to do with that."

"Well, we…had a lot to talk about. I wasn't really expecting to see him today," Sora admitted. "Actually, I wasn't expecting to see him ever. I mean, Axel died, I thought – I figured that was the end."

A Komory Bat flew up suddenly, flapping around Riku's face until he grinned and held out an arm for it to land on. "I didn't realize you thought about him."

"I don't, not really, that's the thing!" Sora said. "But he and Roxas were like…really good friends and – I don't know. It's weird." He paused for a moment, and then glanced at Riku. "How did you know I was here?"

"Because we've been friends for fifteen years," Riku said. He transferred the Komory Bat to his shoulder. "I always used to find you when you'd run off after having a temper tantrum. You disappear, I find you. It's my job." He paused. "And…vice-versa."

"…I didn't have a temper tantrum," Sora muttered, and Riku laughed.

"Maybe not today."

Sora huffed and shot Riku a reluctant grin. "Fine, whatever. But it took you awhile!"

"Only because I had an errand to run," Riku protested. "Master Yen Sid wanted me to bring Kairi to the Tower."

"Kairi?"

"Yeah." Riku frowned thoughtfully. "Keyblade stuff."

"Oh." Sora's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Are they going to train her, too?"

"I guess."

"Weird."

"She can wield one."

"I know, but…I spent a million weeks trying to find her and bring her back to Destiny Islands so she'd be safe and protected and all that, and now she's just going to be out there fighting with us? That's gonna throw me all off!"

Riku cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're going to be distracted, you mean."

"Well yeah, I – no, not like that!" Sora felt his face grow warm as Riku gave him a wide grin. "No. Stop it – Riku, I'm serious!"

"You're so easy," Riku said, chuckling. "Please, Sora, if she's out there fighting in that skirt of hers…"

"Right, like I'm just going to be standing around staring at her if she's fighting," Sora scoffed. "I think I'd be fighting, too, you know, and – and no, it wouldn't be like that, also I'm pretty sure I've got a boyfriend now or something, so–"

Wait, no.

No, that was definitely not anything even remotely close to what he'd wanted to say. Crap.

Sora closed his mouth so quickly that his teeth clacked together, and his eyes promptly went wide.

Meanwhile, the grin Riku had been sporting dropped off his face like it had an anchor attached to it.

They stared at each other.

"Boyfriend?" Riku eventually repeated, looking beyond bewildered, his voice strained. The corner of Sora's brain that wasn't occupied with panic wondered over that. Riku sounded kind of like he did when they were sparring and Sora managed to slip his defenses and whack him really good in the gut with his wooden sword.

"…Well," Sora said helplessly, before he realized he had nothing to follow that up with. "Well," he said again. Still nothing. He made a fruitless gesture with his hand. "Lea – I mean, Axel and Roxas – it's complicated."

Weirdly enough, Riku relaxed at that. Why he was all tense and frozen up in the first place, Sora had no idea. Well, he had an idea, but – was it that shocking? That Sora might be – might have someone? Or was it the boyfriend part itself?

"Sora," Riku said. Then he paused and frowned. "Just because Axel and Roxas might have…just because they were – look, it doesn't mean you have to be with – okay, seriously, they were Nobodies, how does that even work?"

Sora blinked. "They were friends."

"No, I know that, but…" Riku scowled down at the rooftop they were sitting on, and then rearranged himself so that he was sitting cross-legged and could drum his fingers against his knee. After about ten seconds of that, he shifted his scowl over to the Meow Wow still sitting in Sora's lap.

Sora let that go on for another ten seconds or so, and then he dropped a hand protectively in front of the Meow Wow's face. "Hey, don't glare at him, he's not the one dating Axel."

"You are not dating Axel!" Riku exploded, and Sora's eyes went wide again. Riku sucked in a breath and dragged his hands over his face. "Sorry," he muttered.

"It bothers you," Sora said, still kind of surprised by that fact.

"I just think you're confusing your feelings for Roxas's," Riku said.

"…We're the same person." And Sora hated saying that, because they couldn't be, it wasn't fair, Roxas had lived his own life for an entire year, they were different people – except.

Except they weren't.

"You are now," Riku said. "But you weren't, not for a while. Just because you share his memories, that doesn't mean… You don't even know Axel – Lea – not really, you might not like–"

"He kissed me," Sora blurted out, because he couldn't help it. "I liked that."

Riku froze again. "…I thought you liked Kairi," he said weakly.

"I do," Sora said instantly. "Or…I thought I did." He looked away, scratching the back of his head. "Everything's a little mixed up right now."

"So…what?" Riku gave a feeble laugh. The sound of it made Sora's chest ache. "One kiss and you're all his? Just like that?"

"Well, it was more like…three kisses."

"Shit." Riku ran a hand over the side of his face again, and then left it there so that Sora couldn't see his eyes. "Bastard moves fast."

"Or really slow," Sora muttered. "Took him over a year."

Riku groaned. "That's Roxas."

"What?"

"You weren't waiting for a year, Roxas was, and he probably didn't even know because he was a freaking Nobody and emotions just confused him – I didn't even know you liked guys!"

Sora blinked at the non sequitur and abruptly felt his face go red. "I didn't either!" he exclaimed, and then, because he thought maybe that was the crux of the problem here, he added: "Riku, I didn't, I swear! I would've told you!"

"Maybe you don't," Riku said, like he hadn't even heard Sora. "You can't like boys, there's no way I would've missed something like that. You like Kairi, you've always liked Kairi, I've already accepted that!"

"Riku." Sora leaned forward, shifting the Meow Wow out of his lap so that he could roll onto his knees. "Are you mad at me or something?" He reached out and grabbed Riku's wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. "Is it weird? It's weird, isn't it?"

"Yes," Riku said, letting Sora tug at his arm but keeping his gaze stubbornly focused the opposite direction. "It's – I mean, I'll get over it. But yes, it's weird."

Sora drooped slightly, even as his grip on Riku's wrist tightened. "It's the boy thing, right?" he asked, and Riku's eyes snapped toward him. "It's because Lea's a guy. That's…is it a problem?

Riku didn't answer for a long moment. Just stared at him. "…No," he finally said, sounding as though he was surprised Sora could even think such a thing. "No. Geez, Sora, you think that would bug me? That's like – that's the complete opposite of being a problem, trust me."

"Oh." Sora blinked. "So Lea himself is the problem."

Riku sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "None of it's a problem – Sora, it's not a problem, okay?" He looked over at Sora, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards, and for a second Sora could almost believe he meant it. "It's fine. And it's not weird, I shouldn't have said that. It's just…it's a surprise. I wasn't expecting it." Riku pulled out of Sora's grasp, giving his shoulder a light, playful shove instead. "Sometimes I forget you're not ten anymore, I just have to get used to you…dating."

Sora rolled his eyes before shifting so he was seated beside Riku again, leaning against his side. "It's not exactly official or anything yet. He told me to think about it." He squinted at nothing in particular. "But thinking about it is super confusing."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Riku muttered. He looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he just shook his head and let his weight settle against Sora so that they were pressed together from shoulder to hip to thigh.

They sat like that for a moment, watching the lights strewn across the buildings and the people moving about below, before Riku let out a huge breath and collapsed backwards onto the roof. The Komory Bat on his shoulder squeaked as it was dislodged from its perch, and Sora flailed inelegantly, trying in vain to keep his balance until he gave up and toppled backwards, too. Riku snorted and pointedly crossed his arms under head, freeing up his shoulder for Sora to lie on, and Sora accepted the silent invitation eagerly.

"So," Riku said. "Lea."

"Yep." Sora nodded. "Lea."

"I guess he is kind of hot."

Sora craned his head backwards, shooting Riku a bewildered look. "What?"

"You'd better be careful, though."

"I – what?" Sora still looked confused. "Why?"

"Well, you're kind of playing with fire there," Riku deadpanned.

"…Oh my god."

"You know. Literally."

"Stop."

"So if you get all hot and bothered…"

"Geez – Riku! Shut up!"

Riku chuckled and fell silent.

…For about five seconds.

"You know he's like eight feet taller than you, right?"

"Hey, I am not short anymore."

"Yeah, keep dreaming, squirt. I mean, he makes me look small."

"Okay, you know what? Just – stop talking. Right now."

"Fiiiine."

Second chapter coming shortly!

~ Maxine