Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Bruce Springsteen.
I.
When I turned sixteen years old, my dear and faded mother patted my back with deep care and told me that I was a woman. She went all out and planned a party that I didn't want and invited relatives that I really didn't want there. Throughout this event, she told my uptight and tight-lipped relatives that I was her "little woman", as if just because I was a year older, I magically became an adult. To her, womanhood was purely age, not maturity or anything else for that matter.
I kept my mouth shut, but I had become a woman long before my birthday rolled around.
What my mother didn't know was that after my family left, and she crashed with Glen, a sound of a motor was heard outside. It was a soft purr and it was a noise that had engraved itself into every part of my body. So, slipping on shoes and a coat, I opened my creaky door and ignored Jake's bitter glare. I tip-toed down the stairs and as soon as I hit the safety of the downstairs floor, I was off. I was running to the car with excitement and my jacket flew in back of me and the wind glued to me.
Waiting for me, and always waiting for me, was Elijah Goldsworthy.
II.
He and I have always been complicated. We started off with fire and glory, but slowly, with time, that fire became nothing but bitter smoke in the air. We had tried to catch it desperately with our immature and young hands, but all we grabbed was truth that our relationship was over. So, he and I went our separate ways; he with Imogen and I with Jake. It was wonderful being with Jake. It was easy and I could breathe naturally without worrying about his health, but as time wore on, we realized that we had nothing in common. We just liked the physical aspect of our newly formed partnership. So with a sad smile and a bitter wave, we called it quits and tried to go our separate ways, but the situation with our married parents made it hard to do so. But we tried.
After that, I learned that Eli and Imogen had never really gotten together. They had a rocky friendship, and they were just starting to patch that up. And I had also learned after Adam's shooting, Imogen's initial attraction to Eli had shriveled away, and she became infatuated with my dear friend, Adam Torres. Surprisingly, they worked well together, with them being the true "misfits" and all. With them paired off, that left Eli and I. That left yin and yang, though I'm not sure who is which. This left the gaping holes of our lives hanging out in the open, and instead of blowing everything up and destroying the past, we smiled at each other and with that smile, we came to an understanding. Well, a couple understandings actually. A. That we had to give it time and B. We could never go to a dance again.
Slowly, but surely, he became my best friend. He was the one that held my hair after the wedding when I had stolen those drinks at the bar. Also, that night, he held me as I cried for my parents and my drunk-state. He was the one that held my hand when my father told me that he was moving to the States. Eli's voice became my guide and I began to realize how easy it was to become dependent on someone. How easy it was to grab onto them like a leech and not want to let go. But, somehow, we balanced each other out. I let him sob into my shoulder as Julia's birthday came to a stop. How she would have been seventeen and blooming and how he missed her. He talked about her that night and I cooed to him that it was alright. That it would always be alright, and if someday it wasn't, I'd make it so.
We didn't stay just friends forever, though. Of course not. We tried to stay away from that territory, but each day that became a great hassle. As we fell asleep in his room, the night would fall down on us and we knew that we couldn't run. Especially when we were both wrapped up in the same blanket and it was oh so warm and inside our bodies were oh so cold. Our fingers would tangle together and he'd whisper things in my ear that would make me blush, because he was right there and I was in love with him. His breath tickled my neck and ear in a way that erased every thought from my mind. We were dancing and moving in the dark with our feelings and it was growing and growing with more volume than ever before.
When my purity ring found home on his long finger, Bruce Springsteen was blasting on the radio and his hands shook as he held it. Because we weren't officially together. But I didn't mind and I pulled my shirt over my head with a grace that I didn't know that I possessed. He closed his eyes and tried to shoo me away with his hand, telling me that this wasn't funny and he couldn't look at me. But I walked closer and wrapped my arms around his neck and I could feel his heartbeat against my chest in the most primal way. His eyes slowly opened and a low groan crawled its way out of his throat. With a look down at my bare upper body pressed against his clothed one, his hands lifted me up and we flew, with the floor being our landing.
Sex was new to me, and it became my favorite activity. I loved his soft whispers in my ear as his hips met mine in the most sensual way. The way his lips found my breast tore me to pieces and my hands would grip his hair with strength that I didn't know I had. And then, when he'd travel down, down to the place that shook every part of me with pleasure, my hands were vices on everything I touched. These feelings erupted in me and sometimes, I found that I took things too fast. But, Eli slowed me down and showed me the real definition behind making love. I found my definition with every desperate cry that he let out and every mark he left on my neck and breast. He showed me true passion, and our dance in the dark became sweeter.
With each passing day, we became a fire. We were a spark. We were everything.
III.
And when I climbed into the passenger seat of his car, he offered a smile and a kiss, and I took it and kept it and placed it into my box of memories. He whispered a low Happy birthday and took his callused hand in mine. He had reached into the cup holder and gave me a blue slurpee, which I had made clear that I loved. He then reached behind in the backseat and grabbed a badly wrapped present. He gave me an apologetic glance, and I gave him a disapproving look. I had told him that I didn't want anything for my birthday, but when he bluntly refused, I told him that I didn't want much. Though, my ideas of much are different from his. I took the package and I admired the Christmas paper and I fought desperately with the layers of tape that he had practically glued on.
When I opened the gift, something raw snapped inside of me. It wasn't a clean break and my eyes grew and his smile dwindled. I looked up at him in confusion.
But he simply took the small object out and carefully placed it on my finger and muttered, "Someday."
That word throbbed throughout my body and a smile poked through my lips and I leaned over and kissed him with everything I had. He fought back with the same power, and soon, we found ourselves in the back seat, with nothing but our pounding hearts. My breath found his in the dark and my limbs tangled in his and the dark became our biggest friend.
And when his head fell on my breast, and his eyes closed, I stayed awake, knowing that I'd have to go home soon. But the ring on my finger felt so warm and it heated up my sweaty body. His breaths filled my ear and I thought of my mom and her belief in me being a woman. Though, in reality, I was a woman when I gave Elijah Goldsworthy the last part of my old life, and when we danced in the dark.
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