Eli Goldsworthy was unpredictable. I never knew what to expect next from him. That's why I thought it was a little bit weird when I saw him with that nice, quiet girl, Clare Edwards. At first it kind of hurt me, to think that I could be forgotten that fast. But it's been a year, and he had to get over me sooner or later. I had to put everything in the past – there was no way that Eli and I could be together now.

After a while, I realized that it was a very good thing. And I was so very happy, when I saw him finally happy for once, after my death. I had moved on, too, after a while, but it was still nice to pop in and see how my Eli – excuse me, how Eli – was doing. He always did look very happy to see that Clare girl, and I really liked her too – she had my approval. But sometimes I would just watch, and think about what Eli and I used to have.

And I thought about how we would just ride around in Morty, driving all over the city, blasting Dead Hand and not even talking to each other. Not even caring about anything else in the world, because it was just us, the hearse, and the music.

The hearse. Morty. I miss Morty. I remember going to school, and everyone thought it was so weird that my boyfriend drove a hearse. I thought it was kind of cute, to be honest. It made him different… I think that's why I liked Eli so much. Because he was different.

He wasn't like Josh, who cheated on me, and he wasn't like Shane, who didn't even pay attention to me. Eli actually cared about me.

Then I thought about that night. That one night, where he said he didn't care. And I actually believed him. And I made a big mistake, a mistake that lead to the end of my life. Eli blamed himself, I knew he blamed himself, I remembered watching Eli telling Clare that he 'killed' me. And like I was watching a movie and yelling at the television, I shouted that it wasn't true.

But like I was watching a movie and yelling at the television – they couldn't hear me.

I'd never tried to talk to Eli before while in this state, but I remember later that night, trying to convince him that he wasn't the one to blame. Hell, I was the one who started the argument in the first place. But I couldn't do it. He couldn't hear me. I tried everything. I even banged at his door a little bit, but he just thought it was some stupid neighborhood kids trying to annoy him.

No. It's me, Julia. Can't you hear me, Eli?

But finally, he had accepted in time that he wasn't responsible for my death – or maybe, he didn't. Well if he really didn't, then he was a good actor, I suppose. He was always so happy around Clare, who was just perfect for him. And of course, his best friend, Adam Torres.

I smiled whenever I saw him hanging out with Adam. I thought their little 'bromance' was adorable. It wasn't anything about Adam in particular, but just the boy altogether reminded me of Eli's older best friend… His name was Tyler.

I remember distinctly watching Adam – getting thrown at a door, his shirt ripped open by that slut he liked – and it made me think of Tyler. I felt so bad for Adam every time he was bullied like that, because Tyler was the same way. Adam was a transgender, Tyler was gay.

And Eli's always there for Adam, just like Eli was always there for Tyler.

Then I thought about Fitz. Mark Fitzgerald, the boy who had taunted both Eli and Adam. I don't even remember what had started this whole fight, but I thought it was just stupid. I remember watching Clare trying to be the peacemaker… Just like I did, many years ago, when Eli had a thing with a kid named Mike.

I remember helping Eli with his black eye, when he'd gotten a pretty nasty beating one day. One of many. Mike only disliked Eli for the same reason I'd always liked him so much… Because he was so different. And every fight they got in, Eli never won. And I guess that was why he wanted to become a winner in his battle with Fitz.

For me, he didn't need to be a winner. He just needed to be Eli.

And throughout his ongoing feud with Fitz, he remained Eli. Throughout his ongoing feud with Mike, he remained Eli. Nobody would ever change him - that was how he liked himself. That was how I liked him. That was how Clare, Adam and Tyler liked him. As Elijah Goldsworthy - the caring hearse driver, who was always there for his friends. And he was a fighter. No matter how many times he lost, how hurt he was (although I did not like seeing him get beat up one bit) he was still there, saying, "That all you got?"

I thought about when we met. I liked him the moment I met him. We looked into each other's eyes, and we both just knew. Knew what, exactly? Well, that's a story for another time.