Regina glared heatedly at Emma's back, the pattern on the blonde's tricolored sweater had swirled together as Regina's vision blurred. She felt her fingers flex around the coffee mug's handle, the residual heat from the liquid warming the counter below it and her fingers.
She listened as Emma laughed at something that pitiful pirate said. She grimaced. That walking piece of pleather didn't have a comical bone in his body. But he was a man and he was attractive, she supposed, so Emma faked it like she faked everything with him. She faked laughter, happiness, and most likely orgasms. She shuddered at the thought and banished it immediately.
She silently cursed Hades, who had given the pirate back without much of a hassle, no heart splitting or true love needed. How convenient. As they trekked that godforsaken hell pit, Robin had come across Marian and left her again.
Well, third time seemed to have stuck. Marian had been allowed to return as well. She immediately took Roland and the new baby into her arms, mothering them like she was never absent. In a way, she admired Marian. The woman was brave and fearless, having the courage to walk up to The Evil Queen who once murdered her and ask for peace and friendship. Regina had agreed. She needed a friend, especially after Emma had left her behind in order to repair her relationship, which Regina deemed totaled.
"Squeeze that mug any tighter and you'll have third degree burns." Regina jumped at the amused tones as Marian plopped into the stool directly next to hers. Regina sighed deeply and released some pressure from her grip, her knuckles gaining access to blood once more. Marian's eyes dipped to stare at her clavicle, her brow furrowed.
"Can I ask what's wrong or will you snap at me again?" Regina tilted her head back as guilt flooded her. She'd been unnecessarily short with the younger woman in the days before. Her jealousy had reached an all time high as Emma and Hook trounced around Storybrooke arm in arm, the blonde's fake smile clear to no one but her. It infuriated her and she definitely had been taking it out on the wrong person.
"I'm sorry. I'm just having a tough week. That's all. I shouldn't take it out on you." Marian narrowed her eyes, a small smirk pulling at her dark lips.
"You're evading question," Regina glared lightly and Marian lifted her hands in surrender. "We are friends, Regina. I know that's still hard to believe because of our circumstances, history, and connections to Robin, but I truly do wish the best for you now and hope you know that I have no ulterior motives when I ask these questions. I do think you need to talk it out."
"You already know what's bothering me, don't you?" Marian lifted a brow, her eyes serious as she waved down Ruby.
"Some chocolate chip pancakes to go please, and put Regina's coffee in a to go cup as well." The older woman scoffed.
"And where are we going?" Ruby took Regina's cup and sauntered away, giving Marian a small wink of gratitude as she put a generous tip in the glass jar on the countertop. She took up babysitting, of all things. It paid fairly well.
"We are going to the park. You like walking near the pond and I figured we could talk." Regina groaned.
"Why must we talk?" Ruby sidled up to the counter and placed the to go coffee in front of Regina, waving off the offer of money and mouthing that it was on the house. Huh, who knew making friends came with such benefits?
"We're going to talk. Whatever it is, it's eating you up from the inside out." Regina did not miss the subtle eye movement towards Emma.
"You really do know?" The older brunette gaped, wrapping her cold fingers around the warm styrofoam cup.
"Know what?"
"Marian." Regina huffed as Ruby appeared suddenly and placed a plastic bag in front of Marian before walking off. "Do you ever pay for food here?"
"I'm well liked." Regina snorted. The other woman had the astounding talent of being able to make her smile when she was ready to burn Granny's down to the ground. Marian winked jovially as she lifted the bag from the counter. "Come on, Roland and Robin are at the park with the baby. That gives us some time to-don't roll your eyes-talk."
Regina smirked, pulled out her wallet, and dropped her tip into the jar before taking one last glance at Emma. She was startled to see the blonde already looking at her, seemingly lost in thought. Regina waved, not moving her hand but simply wiggling her fingers. The movement made Emma snap out of her trance and turn back to Hook as he tried to throw a dart and missed miserably. Regina sighed deeply, taking air through her nostrils.
"I don't understand what she sees in him." Marian huffed and Regina knew for certain that her friend was not oblivious, not like Robin was. Marian was smart, saw the small details and soaked them in to analyze. She was a mother. She knew sickness when she saw it, whether it be physical sickness or love sickness. That'd come in handy for when Roland was a lanky teenager with an attitude. Regina was learning just how awful the teenage years could be. Henry was starting to have an attitude with Emma. Regina thought she should be grateful because at least it wasn't her getting the cold shoulder, but she felt upset on the blondes behalf. She knew what it was like to be pushed away by Henry. It was heart breaking.
"You don't think he's attractive? The women around here swoon over him."
"He makes me cringe, not swoon. Besides, you're sexier." Marian sauntered toward the other brunette and leaned forward, her lips grazing Regina's ear. "Emma's glaring at us. I think she agrees with me."
Marian pulled back with an innocent smile, her eyes crinkling as she shuffled toward the diner exit. Regina jerked her head to get a quick glance at Emma, who was glaring heatedly at her friends retreating back. She quickly lifted the coffee and strolled out the open diner door.
"Marian, wait!"
"Chop, chop, we got a park to walk to and a talk to have." The two made their way to the park and immediately smiled when they saw Roland climbing the jungle gym. Robin was rocking on his feet, trying to soothe the baby in his arms. Regina smiled. At first, she had felt angry at being left again by him. But as she contemplated, she realized they both deserved better than second choice. It was the best decision for all parties that their relationship end. Not to mention that Regina could no longer pretend she wasn't in love with Emma. The Underworld had been enlightening and life changing in many ways.
It should've felt weird being friends with him after finding such a strong confidant in his ex-wife but it wasn't. Marian wanted a new lease on life, said if she and Robin fell in love once more that marriage was not off the table. Of course, out of respect for Marian and her suddenly ended marriage, no matter if the woman cared or not, Regina and Robin kept all touches extremely platonic. It just worked well that way.
"Come this way. We'll talk by the pond. Robin can hold down the fort for now." The two women walked to the pond, each reflecting on their thoughts and what they wanted to say. It was fairly clear that Marian knew about her feelings for Emma. It made Regina wonder if she'd been so transparent or if Marian was just exceptional at reading people.
Marian plopped down on a bench close to the water and the ducks scouring for food. She gently patted the spot next to her and Regina gingerly sat, her hands wrapping around the coffee cup and lightly twisting to enjoy the warmth emanating from it.
"So, do you plan on saying something?" Marian questioned as she removed her styrofoam food container from the small plastic bag.
"Do you plan on asking a question?" To that, Marian simply flicked open the container and picked up her plastic fork.
"Are you in love with Emma?" As soon as Marian finished the question, she shoved a forkful of chocolate chip pancake into her mouth. "Mmm, my goodness. The food in this realm is to die for. Well, not really. I'm sick of the Underworld. It was so drab, no appeal. So I suppose they're pancakes worth living for, huh?"
Regina gaped, her mouth opening and closing rapidly. Normally she'd have some snark to throw or a cutting remark. But the younger women was so blunt, so forward, that it made Regina freeze. It had been a long time since anyone challenged her or kept her on her toes. Not since Emma pulled into town in her red leather jacket and yellow Bug. Though, Regina conceded, Emma had lost so much of her fire, her passion, her tenacity, and fighting spirit since those days of rivalry and one-uping.
"In case you forgot in your momentary shock, the question was if you-"
"I know what the question is. I'm just baffled as to how you knew."
"So it's true then? You're in love with Emma?" Regina shifted in her seat and reached up to push her hair from her face. Marian waited patiently, cutting her pancakes calmly and occasionally humming as she chewed.
"I am so angry with her for making me love her," Marian snorted and chuckled lightly before Regina glared at her. She whispered for her to continue. "Romantic love has always trapped me in some way or another. I was in love with Daniel and his death tore me apart, changed me. I became trapped in anger because of love. My mother, I loved her and she ruined a part of my innocence and she took away my free will. She trapped me in her grasp and in those castle walls. Then there was Robin, where I felt trapped by fairy dust and a tattoo. It felt like I had no free will again."
She looked to Marian, who was staring at her intently, listening closely to every word that spilled from her lips. She continued, "And I began to lose hope for true love, a love that wouldn't make me feel that way. I began to accept it in the Underworld. But you know the saying? Love comes when you're not looking? Well, I had been sitting with Emma, strategizing on how to save you as well as Hook, and I found that I couldn't stop admiring her and I felt this affection and I'd never noticed it before. As the days went by, I realized that I always felt that way when I looked at her. I just never noticed."
"And now you're scared, of giving in to love, of getting rejected, of not being good enough."
"Because love is weakness and loving Emma is making me feel weak right now." Marian sighed harshly as she pushed the remaining pieces of cut up pancake around in the container.
"Why does it make you feel weak?" Regina clenched her fingers around the cup again.
"Because I'm being a coward. I'm not telling her how I feel, not just about this but about how she's been ignoring me, shutting me out. Normally if I had something I had to tell Emma, I would waltz right up to her and just say it but I'm... I'm too scared. The Evil Queen is scared. It's ridiculous."
Marian grinned sadly, "I don't think it's ridiculous at all. The Evil Queen became the Evil Queen because love and hope was ripped from her. Right now, Emma is a chance, a hope, for the love you've been searching for and you're scared that telling Emma will cause everything to be snatched away again. Regina, your fear isn't crazy. It's sounds pretty normal, even in our circumstances."
Regina nodded slowly as she processed the other woman's words before responding, "So what do I do?"
Marian stuffed another piece of pancake into her mouth and chewed slowly as she contemplated. She eventually responded, "I don't know."
"Well that's helpful." Regina drawled sarcastically, her eyes rolling. Marian chuckled. They sat there for a while longer as Regina sipped on her already chilled coffee and Marian savored the remaining pieces of chocolate chip pancake. Neither said a word, enjoying the park thoroughly as they watched Roland play with other children and dogs fetching toys. The weather was beautiful, sunny but not overwhelmingly hot.
Marian smiled at her son as he sat down at the top of the slide and waved to them. She waved back excitedly and as he slid down, something yellow flashed in her peripheral. She blew Roland a kiss before she subtly shifted her eyes to where the flash of yellow had been.
Emma, hiding behind a tree while trying to get a good look at Marian and Regina. If she wasn't mistaken, the blonde was using a concealer mirror. Nice trick, Marian thought amusedly. She quickly turned to Regina and threw an arm around her shoulders.
Marian leaned in, making sure to press her body against Regina's side, and whispered, "Don't look but Emma is hiding behind a tree and completely spying on us right now."
"What?" Regina chuckled, believing the other woman was simply pulling her chain. Maid Marian was surprisingly a true jokester. Regina learned that the hard way.
"Emma. She's totally jealous," Regina scoffed disbelievingly and Marian shushed her before continuing. "I've seen it with my own eyes, Regina. I'm not sure if it's because she thinks we're romantically involved or because she thinks I'm your best friend now."
"Well, you are. You know that Emma and I have grown apart."
"You are missing the point by such a large margin that I want to pull my hair out," Marian stared at the brunette incredulously. "Regina, she feels jealousy because someone is infringing on something she considers important, whether it be your friendship or more than that. You don't have to be afraid. Emma is feeling something and so are you. I think it's time you address it."
"But I-"
"Go talk to the grown woman hiding behind a tree with a mini mirror. This is just sad. Shoo, go talk to her. I'll go help Roland with the monkey bars." Marian took the cold coffee from Regina's hands and tossed it into the trash bin next to the bench along with her own garbage. She stood and pulled the other woman up with her, giving Regina a little shove toward Emma, who had already guessed she had been spotted and, in her frantic panic, dropped the mini mirror and her hot cocoa to go. Regina reached the tree and watched as Emma cursed several times, trying to wipe the brown stain from her sweater using the fingers she licked.
"Good lord, Emma. Have some semblance of manners. Did you really just lick your fingers to try to rub out a stain?" Emma at least looked sheepish.
"I panicked." Regina stared for a few moments before the laugh she had been attempting to hold back burst from her throat. Emma immediately joined in and the two soaked in the joy for a few moments, smiling like they hadn't in a while. The laughter faded off but the smiles remained. Regina's turned slightly bittersweet and sad.
"I miss this, Emma. I miss our friendship." The blonde blew out a breath of relief.
"Me too, and I'm so sorry for..."
"Ignoring me."
"Yeah, sorry. I just... It's been so hard with Hook and I've been trying desperately to force things. It took all of my time. I'm not surprised Henry's pissed at me. I'm pissed at me. I'm letting the most important people to me down and I'm putting them on the back burner." Regina reached forward to caress Emma's shoulders lovingly.
"I'm not going to say it was okay, because it wasn't. But I forgive you," Regina hesitated for a moment before Emma told her to say whatever was on her mind. "He's not good for you, Emma."
The blonde scratched the nape of her neck nervously, "Yeah, I know. It was never right, I don't think. But I know what's right now. I have known for a long time and I just never entertained the idea because I thought there was no way."
"No way for what?" Regina startled imperceptibly when Emma stepped closer.
"I broke up with Hook," Regina startled once more, this time more visible, and Emma was quick to continue. "I was tired. Love shouldn't be so hard or so forced. I felt trapped. I wanted to be free. The only way I can truly be free is if I go for it."
"Go for what, Emma? Quit talking in riddles or you'll grow crocodile skin and add 'dearie' to the end of every sentence."
"You. You made me feel free. You never expected anything from me, which was quite insulting in the beginning but now I see that you just want me to be myself, to be happy. But that's the point, Regina, you make me happy and allow me to be myself. It's you."
Regina felt her eyes burning. She bit on her tongue to keep the tears from falling, "What're you saying?"
Emma drew in a shaky breath before wiping her fingers on her jeans and reaching for Regina's hand. The brunette instantly tightened the hold, enjoying the warmth of the skin to skin contact.
"I'm in love with you, Regina. I have been for a long time," Emma took in the brunette's shocked expression. "You don't have to say anything. I just needed you to know that-"
"I'm in love with you too. I have been for so, so long." And they both smiled once more as they stared at their futures standing before them, in a park surrounded by happy children playing and dogs barking and Marian chucking and exclaiming that 'she knew it'.
It all began with freedom of body and mind, the search of it. Luckily for them, they found it in each other's arms and with their son.
"Love isn't so scary anymore, huh?" Marian sang cheerfully as she slide down the slide with Roland.
Regina leaned forward and kissed Emma with as much passion as she could muster, which equated to a hell of a lot of passion. When they parted, Regina smirked at Emma's lustful, dazed expression.
"Not scary at all."