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Hey this is the first chapter of our random collection of randomness. Please review and let us know what you think :D

The Manor

"Oh the woe," Jasper sulked, trailing behind Edward in a dark alley somewhere in the middle of Rochester. "We're going to be stuck in puberty for the rest of our lives!"

"I know, but at least you can still get into 18s. I'm doomed to soppy high school movies for the rest of eternity." Edward agreed, slumping against his brother.

"Yeah, that sucks man…Hey! I have an idea!" Jasper perked up. "I heard there's a club near hear somewhere. How about we check it out? We can party away our sorrows!"

"But Bella wants me back by nine…." Edward sighed miserably.

"Oh who cares!? You're too perfect in her eyes to do anything wrong. She'll believe anything you tell her. Just pretend we fell into a something…"

"Yeah, because vampires often fall into ditches!"

"Like I said, she'd still believe you."

"True," Edward nodded. "There's still one more problem though. I can't get into clubs. You have to be 18."

"Ah, no one could resist your smile Ed! You'll be fine!" Jasper grabbed Edward by the collar of his shirt and pulled him along the alley and up a few streets until they reached a small concealed staircase, leading down to a bright pink door labelled 'The Manor.' "Here it is!" They bounded down the staircase in one inhuman leap and went inside. Edward grinned at one of the bouncers and he let them through without further question. Loud music was blaring from the decks and the floor was practically full up. Trying to get in with the crowd, Jasper and Edward started jumping up and down randomly.

"Careful Jazz," Edward warned. "If we bounce any higher they'll know we're not human."

"Ah yes," Jasper tried to tone down his enthusiasm. They'd never been to a night club before. "Hey Edward…" He said after a few minutes. "Have you noticed there are no…."

"Well hello there gorgeous!" A voice came from behind Edward, interrupting Jasper.

"Oh my gosh…."Edward jumped. "Someone just touched me!" Too scared to turn around, the two faced the other way, humming to themselves.

"Playing hard to get are we?" The voice came again, this time next to Edward's ear. Edward squirmed under pressure. What am I supposed to do? With a start he realised that the voice sounded extremely familiar. He opened up his mind, trying to hear the person's thoughts. Jasper didn't need to do anything, he could already feel the lust rippling off.

"EW!" Edward screamed, immediately shutting down. There was only one person he knew who had a mind that dirty. Two if he included Esme. "EMMETT!" Edward jerked around smacking a mortified Emmett in the head.

"Feisty…." Emmett stood back up. "That was one heck of a hit….wait….Edward!?" Jasper tried to hold back the inexistent nausea that was threatening to overcome him so slipped back into the crowd to pretend he was never there. These memories would scar him for the rest of his existence.

"Oh my god, I just hit on my own brother!" Emmett's face twisted in horror. "Rose is going to kill me!"

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Edward led him round to a deserted area of the club.

"I could ask you the same! Seriously Edward, a gay bar!? What were you thinking?"

"A gay bar!" Edward realised with a shock. That was what Jasper had tried to point out to him. There were no women. "I didn't know it was a gay bar!"

"You didn't?" Emmett raised his eyebrows.

"No I didn't. And plus, it was Jazz's idea."

"Jasper's here too?"

"Err yes….he was just…." Edward turned around. Jasper was no where to be seen. Suddenly, he spotted him backed into a corner by three guys. Jasper looked up in horror and mouthed 'help!' Edward rolled his eyes and pulled Jasper away. The men sneered at him.

"So you still haven't answered my question. What are you doing in a gay bar?" Edward and Jasper turned back to Emmett, Jasper with his hands on his hips.

"Errm….." Emmett bit his lip. "Well, Rosalie always expects me to be so macho at home and I decided I needed some me-time. You know, get in touch with my feminine side." Emmett looked down, fumbling with his shirt. Suddenly, Edward and Jasper burst out laughing. "It's not funny!" Emmett protested.

"It really is….bet Rose doesn't know you're gay!" Jasper doubled over in fits of laughter.

"I'm not gay!"

"You hit on me!" Edward pointed out.

"You were the first one! I've never hit on any other guy before!"

"Sure you haven't….."

"Oh come on Ed, you could turn any guy gay."

"True," Edward grinned, nodding.

"So while we're here, we might as well enjoy ourselves…." Jasper said, edging back towards the crowd.

"Why not?" Edward agreed, bouncing up and down again with Jasper.

"Well, if you won't tell my wife, I won't tell yours." Emmett joined them and they partied late into the night.

There you go now pleeeaaaseee review :D

TLW x