Sooo… I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORY.
Like, as soon as I saw the trailer in the previews to Cop Out, I was like "I am sooo doing a fanfiction on this". And here it is!
I wish I could post the link to show you guys what Bandit and Ellamae look like, but every time I try to put a link on here it gets garbled. So, if you're curious (since I don't do much in the ways of describing outfits), just send me a message and I'll send them to you!
This will be MOVIE based. The comic was good, but I don't like the twist with Big Daddy, it kind of killed his character (no pun intended), so... yeah. Movie based. And even then I'll be taking some creative liberties.
Anyway, I'd really appreciate some feedback, cause... I dunno, it's just nice. And it gets me to write new chapters faster! So it's good for you guys, too!
Tell me what you think, and enjoy!
I sat on the ledge along the top of a short building, swinging my legs into the still, smog-choked air. Welcome to New York City, I guess. My black mid-calf combat boots with the red straps were heavy, so my swings had quite a bit of momentum. I could certainly throw myself right over the edge with the perfect amount of force if I wanted; but that might alert the person in the alley below me of my presence. I say that it might, because, quite honestly, he was pretty clueless.
The person I was watching paced back and forth along the short length of the alley, seemingly pumping himself up; he was kind of funny, but still had zero peripheral vision. If this were Dungeons and Dragons, he'd have rolled a 1 for perception. It wasn't even that I blended in, with my bright red X across my chest, under my double-crossed gray belts; he just seemed to trust his apparent solitude. A real superhero makes sure of his security before becoming so relaxed. In fact, a real superhero may never let his guard down.
Such was my case: even now, though I was quite sire of the fact that I was alone on this particular rooftop, I would send a glance in both directions, as well as behind me, every few seconds. He wasn't going anywhere quite yet, so I could easily multitask these two things. I think I had even knocked my boots into the bricks of the building a few times when I had become distracted, but still he didn't look up.
Eventually my target stopped pacing and slumped his shoulders. He looked defeated and glanced around the alley until his blue eyes landed on a poster of a lost cat taped to a nearby pole. He tore the paper down, read it, and set off along the street.
Maybe you're wondering how I know his eye color, from far above his head; or how I knew what was on the poster without closer examination. I don't have super vision or anything special; I know these things because it was no accident that I happened to be in the same alley as this person, that he happened to pick up that poster. This was planned... by me. I had been tailing this person for quite some time, and just needed a way to introduce myself, superhero to superhero.
I silently stood up, picked up my bamboo pole from beside me, and used it to vault from roof to roof in pursuit of Kick Ass, New York's first ever superhero, aside from me that is.
~*~
I had to give Kick Ass some credit; he had looked for that cat for quiet some time before giving up. He was heading right where I needed him though, which was convenient, right past the billboard I had picked out, the not-so-tall one outside some pitiful looking diner. Everything was going just fine until something unexpected happened.
A man being pursued by three others ran right into Kick Ass, knocking them both to the ground. The three thugs quickly caught up and proceeded to beat the shit out of the other. I twitched in my rooftop hiding spot, not sure what to do.
"Come on, Kick Ass." I whispered. Thankfully he rolled right over and charged into the fray. He took some hits, but he wasn't doing all that bad, which was a pleasant surprise. He took a hit to the back of the head by a trashcan, but made short work of the guy's wrist. I could hear the bones snap all the way up here, not to mention the man's pathetic cries.
"Yeah, that shit hurts, huh asshole? Karma's a bitch." I said to no one while picking up a sizeable brick discarded beside me from some unfinished construction project or a crumbling wall, "And so am I." I tossed it from hand to hand before reeling back and heaving it at one of the thugs, who became stunned enough for Kick Ass to clock him across the side of the head. I smiled under my black bandana when he successfully beat back the thugs and told them how he would gladly die to save a complete stranger; it was rather heartwarming, and I felt myself getting a little soft.
I waited while Kick Ass received thanks and praise from the patrons of the diner and allowed himself to quickly be interviewed by some enamored teen with a video camera on his phone. When everyone had cleared out, Kick Ass started to swagger away. I hopped along the roof and dropped to the ground in an alley he was turning into, startling him. He backed into some trashcans, falling over as he redrew his slightly bloodied batons.
"I'm not going to hurt you." I said quietly, stowing my bamboo pole onto my back to appear less threatening. However, Kick Ass just gave me a confused look.
"Huh?" He asked, tilting his head to the side, "I can't understand you." I rolled my eyes and pulled my bandana away from my mouth, letting it fall around my neck.
"Look out." I said calmly, instead of repeating what I'd previously said. It appeared that one of the thugs was trying to sneak up on the imperceptive Kick Ass, so I pulled my pole back out and, reaching around the superhero's head, knocked him around a bit. A few swift hits to critical points on the body was enough to send him running away with his tail between his legs. Maybe next time he'll think a little before trying to cut two costumed freaks in a dark alley. I looked over at Kick Ass, who was standing up again, looking impressed.
"That was cool." He admitted, still holding up his batons absentmindedly.
"Like I said, I'm not going to hurt you, so you can put your weapons down." I repeated now that I could speak clearly, "But that guy was hell bent on killing you. You should be more careful." We were conveniently joined now by a black and gray Tomcat, meowing lowly and looking wary.
"Ah, that cat!" Kick Ass said, pointing, "Help me catch him so I can return him." I picked up the cat without so much as a snarl or a scratch and held it in my arms.
"Don't worry about returning it." I said, "This is my cat. Thank you for trying so hard to find him." Kick Ass was silent a moment, mouth open in confusion.
"So wait a minute/," He finally said, waving a hand, "This cat-"
"Mr. Bitey." I interrupted, scratching aforementioned cat behind his eyes.
"Mr. Bitey," Kick Ass continued, "is your cat?"
"Yes." I said simply, smiling a little when Bitey clawed playfully at my black wavy hair and meowed.
"Why did you post signs for a lost cat if he hadn't really gotten away?" He pestered me, "If you were in the area, and your cat was in the area, I don't call that lost!"
"You're right. He wasn't lost." I admitted, raising my dark brown eyes to look into his face, "I faked the posters."
"What?!" He asked, maybe a little wounded by his first mission not being real, "Why?"
"Because I needed some way..." I started, setting down a squirming Bitey down, who immediately chased a large rat deep into a trash pile, "To meet you." Kick Ass was silent again, mouth once again wide open.
"To meet me?" He questioned, seemingly incredulous, "But who are you?" I blinked a few times, contemplating the question.
"Bandit." I answered simply.
"Y-you're a superhero, too?" He asked, pointing again.
"It would appear that way." I replied coolly, not missing a beat. I also indicated my costume.
"Oh." He said, "Well I'm-"
"Kick Ass." I said, staring, "Dave Lizewski by day." He freaked out at that, stepping away, stammering things, and promptly fell back into the trashcans, upsetting a feasting Mr. Bitey.
"Chill out." I said, smiling ever so slightly. I held out my hand, "I won't tell anyone."
"Y-you won't?" He asked. I shook my head.
"Who would I tell? Who would believe me?" I said sarcastically, which may have sounded offensive; but he took my hand anyway, maybe seeing my point. I pulled him up and Bitey circled around his legs, seeing that this person was now a friend.
"Well, what's your name?" Kick Ass asked, still sounding nervous.
"You'll only find out when I decide I can trust you." I said, crossing my arms.
"But you don't wear a mask." He noticed, "Don't you care about your secret identity?" I snorted.
"I did have a mask, but you couldn't understand me with it on." I wiggled the bandana around my neck at him, "Besides, my identity is just as much a secret with or without a mask." I answered cryptically.
"So... I don't know you then?" He asked, trying to sort out what I meant.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't." I admitted, "But you should." I started to scale the short wall, using a sturdy drain spout.
"Wait!" Kick Ass called to me. I got to the top of the building and sat down on the ledge, Bitey joining me after a few impressive leaps.
"Yes?" I asked politely.
"Why... Why should I know you?" He asked, looking up at me. I smirked down on him.
"Well we do go to the same school, you know." I answered smartly before making a move to get up.
"Wait, Bandit!" He said once more. I sat back down.
"Yes, Kick Ass?" I repeated.
"Did you want to, like... team up, or- something?" He asked haltingly, squinting to look at me. I actually laughed this time, which was rare for me.
"That would be the reason for meeting you, yes." I said, shaking my head but smiling widely.
"Ok then, uh... sounds good!" He said, probably not sure what to make of me, "How will we- you know- contact... each other?" He trailed off.
"Don't worry, I'll find you." I said, pushing myself up, "You still live at 32 Belleview Lane?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah..." He said, sounding confused.
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then." I said, holding up a gloved hand, "See ya, Kick Ass." And with that I set off along the roof.
My name is Ellamae Blackstone; I'm seventeen years old; I have a black and gray acrobat of a Tomcat named Mr. Bitey; and every so often, at night, I'll dress up like a superhero named Bandit and roam the streets. You probably don't know me, and you've probably never seen me, but with no recognition comes unlimited freedom. I'm just some nameless girl at Millard Fillmore High School, but I know some karate, I'm pretty handy with a bamboo pole, and I'm not bad at free running.
I can't read your mind, but I can kick your ass. And rest assured I will.