A/N: Me, actually trying to write something that's not complete crap. It's gonna be awesome. Don't deny it.
'Just Say Yes'
These things I can't have are the things that I want more than anything. Is there something wrong with me? Can I fix it? I want to make this go away...
Just Say Yes.
Just admit that you need me; want me; think about me; love me...
Just Say Yes.
Complete me. I want to be whole. I can't go on as this broken, pieced-together wreck. Just hold me; kiss me; tell me it'll be alright.
Just Say Yes.
Give me one day of you. Let me breathe you in. Let me memorize your taste. Let me never forget the exact shape of your body. Let me sink into your skin...
Just. Say. Yes.
Just say there's nothing holding you back.
"It's kinda cold out tonight..." He searched her eyes for a moment, drinking in the sight of the city lights reflecting in her baby blue orbs. Her words became a haze that melted in his brain.
"Yeah..." He replied in a hushed whisper, facing the lights. She shivered, rattling her thin jacket from her shoulders. Blonde stands on hair fell into her face and whipped behind her along with the breeze.
"...we should probably get back inside," The younger girl glanced over her shoulder, eyeing the door that had led them to the rooftop in the first place. It was getting late...
Matsuda shrugged, taking a long sip of his once-fresh coffee. The warmth flowed and coursed through his chilled veins. His fingertips became less numbed. He smiled.
"I don't think L would mind much," He began, leaning his back sturdily against the aluminum covering of the air duct, "If we stayed up here a little bit longer."
Japan was noisy. Even during the (rather ungodly) hours of the night, when most people return home for the day, cars zoomed by like lightening sent from Zeus in flashes of colors and lights. Businesses closed, but flashy clubs and parties raged on. The world continued, even when it was supposed to stop. The sun left hours ago, but the moon lazily floated in the sky, followed by the twinkling stars that could be viewed (amazingly) from the top of the Kira Investigation Headquarters building.
Kitty began to dream about slow motion and radio waves and blurs of vivid purples and greens and yellows...she dreamed about snow and bruises and blood...she dreamed of black hair and charcoal eyes and chocolate frosting...she hummed to the melody of a guitar and she fell into the music without feeling the rush of the fall. It was like ecstacy with a different high. It was her own brand...
Something tingled in her stomach when she was in her wonderland. Something sparked a flame in her heart when she drifted away. Maybe it was the way that Matsuda Touta looked into her body (-through veins and blood, muscle and ligaments, bones and scars, straight into her very soul and being-) and knew every little thought that came into her imaginative mind. Maybe it was the way he always took her tiny hand into his own, letting his thumb explore every inch of skin. Maybe it was the explosion of thoughts that caught her off guard, ones about L and about Kira, ones that hurt her and made her smile and made her cry. Thoughts about Matsuda and Aizawa, her best friend and her worst enemy...
Every little thing that was a part of her became fireworks, shining brightly in wonderland.
Was Matsuda there, in wonderland? Would he ever find her, sitting on her favorite rock with the her hatter? Would he meet the Queen? Would he find his way back home...?
"Kit-kat? Kitty, you there?" The brunette playfully waved a hand in front of the girl's face, watching as her eyes dialated back into focus. The world was spinning for a moment or two before full awareness came crashing down upon her. The teen shook her head, maybe wanting to shake her thoughts back into their rightful place...
"Oops. Sorry, Matsu...drifted off for a second," She nearly hummed, rather tiredly. Smiling, Matsuda pushed himself onto his feet, brushing himself off with ease. He extended his hand out to the small girl (whom was developing into quite the young woman) and looked deep into her face.
"Let's head inside...get you warm. L would have my head if you caught a cold," Because he's in love you with you...but you're oblivous to it, aren't you Kitty? You're oblivous to both of us. You're hurt on the inside...
"Thanks," She murmured in response. Rather than just taking the man's gracious hand, the blonde fell forward onto Matsuda with a loud 'umph', and waited patiently for him to carry her back inside. A pounding began inside Matsuda's rib cage and a warmth that radiated through his skin. It nearly killed him to have her so close...the smell of her skin and her hair, and the sheer insanity that went along with those curves...suddenly, his head started to hurt and his insides began to burn.
Why won't you ever love me...?
Would you...
...if I really tried?
...Would you notice...?
"I'm running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am
It's so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can't be to and fro like this
All our lives
You're the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you"
I guess lonliness if something I've grown fond of. Misery, too. I'm content with this life I live...
But if you were there with me...
would I feel this emptiness?
Would there be this empty void?
Of course not...
You're everything.
So why?
Whywhywhywhy?
I can't stand this. I'm frustrated. I'm angryscaredterrifiedinlove.
I think I love you.
...
Do I ask you?
Can you say those three words?
Can we handle what this will bring?
I hate to see you with anyone but me...
It hurthurthurts.
Make it go away.
Please...For God sakes...
Just.
Say.
Yes.
"Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in
I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love"
Yes. Because I love Matsuda. :) Reviews or daggers. I suppose it's your choice...(-FYI, they ARE sharp...just sayin'-)