LUCILLA MUST DIE
Chapter One
Lucius stumbled into Malfoy Manor holding one hand over his eye, barely avoiding that annoying house elf always underfoot. He spied with his remaining eye his eleven-year-old son waiting in the hall to greet him. Draco made his typical formal bow, then ran at the man.
"Father, where have you been?"
When Lucius dropped his hand, revealing a monstrous shiner, Draco gasped.
His father roared, "This is the last straw, I refuse to associate with that blood sucking banshee ever again! Draco, it's time you learn about your wicked Aunt Lucilla."
"Wicked?" He was still wondering who the vampire was.
"As evil as they come," seethed Lucius. "She's the demon seed they all talk about down at work, even worse than You-Know-Who."
Draco didn't know who, but decided it prudent to play along. Father could be a real prick when irritated, and he'd just brushed his hair the way he liked it. If Father turned his wrath on the boy, as he often did of late, that lovely mane would suffer a hair-pulling the likes of which he'd never seen. He preferred to keep his locks intact, maybe even one day grow them out as long and beautiful as Father's. Unconsciously he shook back his head in imitation of the man, pretending to caress his flowing tresses. His ruminations were shattered by Lucius' hand wound through his now rumpled hair, shaking him like a rag doll.
"Pay attention!" shouted the man. "I'm trying to turn you against the witch!"
"Against Mother?" asked Draco stupidly as he smoothed down his hair.
"Lucilla, Draco, Lucilla!"
Lucilla Draco Lucilla, mused the boy. He didn't remember anyone by that name. "You lost me," he confessed.
Lucius took him by the hand and led him into the parlor where he sat him on a cushy sofa. Cupping the boy's face in his hands, he directed Draco's attention to his own swollen eye.
"Your aunt did this to me. She punched me in the eye for noticing she'd gained a few pounds over Christmas. Now you tell me, did I do anything wrong?" He flipped his long hair over his shoulder and lifted his chin defiantly.
Draco could fill pages with things Father did wrong, at least by Muggle standards, and even by Mother's more relaxed view. And the law would certainly have something to say about certain things he'd pulled—
A sharp slap brought him back to reality.
"Pay attention!" screamed Lucius. "I don't send you to Hogwarts to acquire ADHD!"
"ADHD?" replied Draco, rubbing his cheek. "I didn't steal anything, I swear! It was Crabbe or Goyle, or that blasted Potter—"
"Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, you little moron. I do believe you're getting dumber as you age. Try to focus. Let me make this simple: Lucilla is evil. She must die. Do you understand?"
Draco blinked his wide blue-gray eyes at his father and nodded. "Everybody dies eventually. Is she sick?"
"Not as sick as I am," moaned Lucius. He slumped down on the sofa beside Draco. The boy was hopeless. While he'd never aspired for Draco to be anything spectacular, all things considered, he'd hoped for better than a stockboy at the local Gringott's. The idea of a Malfoy having to stoop to manual labor made him nauseous, then he brightened a bit. They were rich, Draco could inherit money to live off—until he'd squandered it like an imbecile, leaving him a destitute beggar. Lucius broke into tears, making his black eye throb all the more painfully.
"Don't cry, Father, it'll be alright. The vampire didn't bite you, did it?" He scooted away just in case.
"Vampire?" croaked Lucius. Now the boy was having hallucinations! His body convulsed with sobs.
"Father, don't worry, I'll call Aunt Lucilla to tend you. She knows everything!" He scampered from the room, leaving his father face down on the couch blubbering all the harder behind him.
Chapter Two
"It's his nature, he's always tended to hysteria," said a woman's grating voice, jackhammering its way into his brain.
He'd passed out, he must have, and Draco had summoned her! A horrified Lucius sat bolt upright on the couch and glimpsed frantically about for means of escape. He'd left his wand in his cane in the front hall, no chance to retrieve it now. If only he could make it to the secret passage before—
"There you are!"
Lucilla strutted in beside Narcissa, a lovely female rendition of Lucius, complete with mounds of platinum hair that she wore in odd little buns on the sides of her head, a tribute to her favorite Muggle movie. Both of them offered him pathetic looks; at least Narcissa's held an element of pity. Lucilla raised her wand at the same time Lucius raised his hands in front of his face in a feeble attempt to ward her off. A moment later the pain was gone. Lucius touched his face gingerly.
"Really, Lucius, you think I'd hurt my dear twin?" She smiled condescendingly. "Now what's this about a vampire bite? Let's see, then."
For a second he hadn't any idea what she meant. "What—there's no vampire."
"Draco distinctly said you told him—"
"Draco is confused," he huffed. "Now that you've fixed what you caused, you can run along and stop pointing your wand at me."
Lucilla glanced at Narcissa, who shrugged. "She's not going to do anything, sweetie-kins."
Lucius blushed furiously. Why did she have to say that in front of the shrew? "She knows silent spells."
"Some of us mastered the art in school," crooned Lucilla.
"And some of us had no time to study," griped the man. He turned to his wife in hopes of understanding. "Father always favored her. He worked me like a dog while she lounged around and studied."
"Oh, puh-lease!" argued his sister. "What work did you ever do?"
"For one thing, I dug the family pond. By hand!"
"In the dead of winter, with a teaspoon, I'm sure," Lucilla mocked. "Bitch, bitch, bitch. You were being punished for…well, I forget what. He was forever in trouble," she confided to Narcissa.
"Because of you, she-devil!" Lucius leapt to his feet and scurried behind his wife in the event Lucilla attacked again. "All my life she's been blaming me for what she did. Father believed her and I got punished."
"That's true," Lucilla admitted, smirking. All at once she burst out laughing, long and hard, a high cackle worthy of a crone, every so often doubling over with mirth and slapping her thighs. At last her merriment dwindled to a rough snicker, then a heavy sigh. Wiping the joyful tears away, she remarked, "Those were the good old days. We had such fun, didn't we? I miss seeing Lucius strung up by his arms in the dungeon, screaming each time Father struck him. Don't you miss the camaraderie, bro?"
Lucius stared right through her. "I hate you."
His sister drew back with a hand to her heart, obviously affronted. "Where is this hostility coming from?"
Narcissa piped up, trying to smooth things over. "Lucius can get a little cranky when he hasn't eaten. Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"No, Narcissa!" bellowed her husband. "Father tortured me almost daily until I married you, and it's her fault! What is wrong with you people?"
"And you've never disciplined Draco?" challenged his sister.
Lucius threw up his hands in exasperated fury. How dare she compare his upbringing to Draco's? "Leave this house, Lucilla, before I fetch my wand and blow you through the wall."
Lucilla sniggered. "Like you could. Fine, I'll go. I see you're in a snit over something, hopefully not a vampire bite. Narcissa, make sure to check him over later. So, supper at my house next Sunday?"
From force of habit of agreeing with the woman to keep peace, Lucius and Narcissa nodded together and the witch vanished. The moment she was gone Lucius stamped his foot.
"Did we just agree to visit her?"
"Yes."
Lucius punched the house elf standing nearby. He felt a little better, but Lucilla, for all her hideousness, was still not quite as repulsive as one of these creatures. Then a thought popped into his head and he rubbed his hands in glee.
"I'll get her this time, Cissy. I'll have Severus make up a potion to poison her and the harpy will be out of my hair forever!" Reminded of his mane, he ran his fingers through, mortified to discover a rat's nest on the side he'd passed out on. Feverishly he worked on unknotting the blonde mass, carefully untangling it strand by strand. "Oh, she'll pay for this—and for all that stuff from my childhood, but mostly for this. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha."
Narcissa raised her eyebrows at him in a most prissy manner. Murder she could condone; cheap rip-offs were another story.
"It was only for dramatic effect," he mumbled. Damn, was everybody against him?
Chapter Three
Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco arrived promptly at seven, Apparating in front of Lucilla's summer cottage by the seashore, and stood shivering outside as they waited for her to answer the door. A gust of snow flew up into their faces.
"Why does your sister stay here in the winter, Lucius?" complained Narcissa through her wildly chattering teeth. "She has fine houses elsewhere."
"Why is my sister a sadistic trollop?" Lucius snapped back. "Who can say?"
Draco tugged at his father's coat sleeve. "Aunt Lucilla's a trolley? Can we ride her?"
Lucius barely kept from bemoaning the fact that everyone else did. It seemed a bit indecorous to regale Draco with all his aunt's dubious qualities. Besides, after tonight she'd be dead and he could make up a whole new background, one not including her…well, at least not the REAL her. This sister would be kind and sweet, she'd be like the imaginary sister he'd had as a child until Lucilla tattled about it to Father, who'd then chained him in the dungeon and forced him to listen to Lucilla read him fairy tales. Those stories had given him nightmares for years. He forced down the hatred and readjusted his hat once more to show off his locks to their best advantage.
All at once the door swung open and a house elf beckoned them inside and took their wraps. Lucilla came waltzing into the atrium, perhaps mamboing, although it looked more like a tipsy tango. As usual she was dressed in black with her hair plastered in bun-like swirls on either side of her head. Tempted to ask why she was dancing, Lucius only opened his mouth before Narcissa rammed him in the ribs with an elbow, shooting him a sharp warning glance. He snapped his mouth shut.
"Ah, my family has come!" Lucilla fairly sang. "Shall we have a drink before dinner?"
"Yes!" cried Lucius with such eagerness even Draco wondered what was up. If his father were turning into a drunk, he'd never again be able to hold his head up as he pranced the halls of Hogwarts.
They all followed the woman to a roomy sitting area where the house elf now stood holding a heavy tray of various drinks. Beyond her, leaning back with his legs crossed, sat Severus Snape, drink in hand. He raised the glass in welcome. He'd already polished off two, which was several fewer than Lucilla, and he was definitely feeling less uptight and homicidal than usual. He'd even gone so far as to unbutton the top button of his robe!
"Severus!" gasped Lucius, fingering the potion in his pocket with an air of confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"Lucilla invited me," he smirked. On him it came off more as a puckered sneer.
"If Professor Snape marries Lucilla, he'll have to give me excellent grades," chirped Draco, self absorbed to the last.
"I wouldn't count on it, Draco," replied Lucius. He took the boy's shoulders and steered him toward the opposite corner. "Have something to drink." He snatched a glass at random from the house elf and shoved it into Draco's hand.
Narcissa plucked it away. "I'll thank you not to feed my son vodka, Lucius."
"It's not surprising," sighed Lucilla, solemnly shaking her head. "Ever since we were children he's been a lush." She took a loud slurp from her glass.
"That's not true!"
"And he's so defensive about it."
Now. Put it in her drink now, Lucius thought. He eased the vial from his pocket and deftly tugged out the stopper. He covered the 'pop' with a surprised exclamation, "Look, Lucilla, it's Princess Leia!"
His sister whirled with a squeal; he dumped the liquid into her near-empty glass, and swiftly secreted the evidence back into his pocket. As long as she didn't notice her beverage had turned purple, everything should go smoothly.
Being the victim of a prank apparently didn't set well with her. She spun around and cracked Lucius across the head, dropping him like a stone. "Very funny, pervert." In one gulp she kicked back what was left in her glass.
Lucius, reeling from the blow, managed to struggle onto his hands and knees, then pull himself upright using the edge of an end table. His sister's boxing lessons had paid off one too many times, and now she'd pay. Now. Now! He glared at her, waiting for the poison to take effect. "Severus, what's wrong?"
"Speak up," interrupted Lucilla, clouting him again.
He went down hard. "Stop it!" he bellowed. Had it not been mannerless to hit a woman, he would have returned the favor. The Malfoys, after all, had dignity. He crawled over to Narcissa, clutching her legs. "Hag," he spat at his sister.
She merely glowered back at him. "You can quit pretending to be mute, we already know you're dumb." She cackled at her joke.
"Severus," repeated Lucius coldly, which lost some of its effectiveness being delivered from the floor. "Why is she alive? You made the death potion."
The professor's eyebrows raised a touch. "Death? No, I made a deaf potion, as you requested."
"Why would I want a deaf potion?" shrieked Lucius, leaping to his feet and stomping up and down like a baby troll having a tantrum.
"So you wouldn't have to listen to yourself howling like a werewolf?" offered Snape dryly. "Now I suppose you'll want me to fix her."
"I couldn't care less what you do with her."
Snape smiled, a genuine face busting grin, and walked over to Lucilla, who at the moment was quite put out at everyone playing a game she wasn't invited in on. "Good, Lucius. You all run along home and I'll whip up an antidote. No doubt she'll be so grateful she'll happily reward me with her, um, special treatment."
Lucius cringed at the thought. Then he remembered he'd come to assassinate his sister and the witch was still alive. "Noooo!" he cried. "No, she must die, she must!" He dissolved into another bout of weeping interspersed with curses and self-castigations.
Lucilla rolled her eyes, addressing Narcissa. Her own voice sounded strange to her, in the way of not having a voice sounds most strange. She knew she was talking because her mouth was moving. "I hate to say it, but my brother might be better off at Mungo's. He's so temperamental lately."
"Is Father insane?" asked Draco, delighted. "Can I take him in for show and tell?"
"Yes, Draco, your father is insane," said Narcissa wearily, patting the boy on the head. "Let's go home so Severus can cure your aunt." She took the sobbing Lucius by the hand and led him to the door.
"She's evil," he muttered over and over. "Can't bear it. Need Muggle weapons, yes, guns, bombies."
"There, there," soothed his wife, petting him as she had Draco. "She'll be over at New Year, you can try again to kill her then."
Lucius brightened. "Yes, New Year! A whole new beginning, a life without Lucilla!" He nodded happily and clapped his hands.
Narcissa smiled ruefully at Draco. "Poor man. I do believe he's getting dumber as he ages."
The end