MUJA EC Y LINCA
( Love is a Curse)
Love is a torture
He knew that all too well. Been there, done that. In the previous lifetime he was once tortured by a love forbidden. He loved the wrong person, the one he would never ever have. Still he insisted, clung tightly to a weak glimmer of hope. Then he lost that love. Then he joined that pilgrimage, throwing his life away at the end. So he became a dead man walking. But it was fine for him, fine to seal his heart shut, for a dead man should have nothing to do with love. Everything was fine, until the day their paths crossed.
Love is unexpected
The girl reminded him much of a baby Chocobo. Chirpy. Noisy. Hyper. Yellow. Well, not exactly yellow but strawberry blonde instead. Exactly the type of person who would easily annoy the hell out of him. But he was never annoyed; he could never be annoyed no matter how spoiled, or childish, or simply troublesome she could be. He was mystified and mesmerized and hypnotized the second he stared straight into those trusting emerald eyes.
Love is denial
He was cold and indifferent to her, for he never wanted her to feel the pain of losing a friend when his time would be up. He only wanted to protect her. She called him Mister Grouchy-Grumbly-Sore-Ass and he just huffed because it was for the better of her. But when she shook with fear in the Thunder Plains; he knew there was no escape from the call of his heart. So he held her, and for those few moments he remembered how good it felt like to be able to protect someone. He remembered how it felt like to be alive and dreaming of having a family…..He saw in her a lovely daughter he could never have, and it made him both smile and ache inside.
Love is painful
He remembered. He deeply resented himself when he had to reveal the truth. He deeply despised himself for being the person who brought pain which darkened those innocent, lively eyes of hers. He revealed that he did not belong with the living, and she began to weep.
"But you're like my second father already!! Why can't we do anything?? Should we always lose something dear to us to get a happy ending?? Vuum!! Vuum!! What kind of happy ending is THAT?? Oui eteud yccruma!!"
She threw herself into his arms like a stone released from a catapult, crying, punching him with her small fists, leaving him with no choice but to hold her. He held her tight as she sobbed and told her to be strong and carry on, because a new world of peace would be waiting for her. She must be happy with her friends and family, although without him. He couldn't give her anything, except a world of peace that never was.
It was the only thing he could give her.
Love is irrational
His wish was granted. He was brought back to life. Why and how, he was never sure. He was happy. Happy that he could see his little Chocobo princess and everyone he loved, once again.
But his happiness was not long-lasting. It never was.
Love is a torture
Lately, he deeply loathed to see his own reflection in the mirror. That curse was back on full strength, looming over him like so long ago. He loathed himself. He loathed how his old heart started to beat again in a way it should never be when he saw her. He loathed seeing that she had bloomed in such ways that took his breath away. He loathed feeling the fire in his soul was once again alive every time she stared straight into his eyes. He loathed himself, for he saw nothing but a blasted old man with a blasted forbidden love.
Love is my curse