Yami: I feel the need to apologize for my last updated oneshot. It was not my best work by far, and personally, by the end, I said to myself, I hate this story, let's just finish it and post it. I only wrote it as a dare for two manga (if I can get 5 reviews hint hint -stabs self-) So I apologize for it. It was not my best work, I let not only myself but yall down. I won't ever do it again. All my stories shall be the best I can write!...except the ending to this one DX I think I failed at it, but at the same time I like it. I hate it when that happens :P
Dark: Now that the apologize is out of the way...
Summary: Fantasma learns not to ever question the crazy life that is what she lives for when she and her mink ffriend Prince get caught in the outside world.
Rating: T for a bit of language.
Warnings: GENDERBENDING Viper, Squalo, and Fantasma are female. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN XD
Side note: Xiana appears in here. NO! It's not Family Xiana. Both Xiale and Xiana are the main characters in several other mpreg/preg stories involving my favorite pairing. Only Xixi, and the Twins are original ONLY to Family. So enjoy her apperance, lol
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!
For Zweii, who asked for a Fantasma story. I hope I did okay.
Fantasma was used to odd sights around her home. Her master was a very weird person without all the oddities that were also included in the spellcaster's life. The salamander had become very desensitized to many things, including violence and weird happenings. But this…this she could not ignore!
"What are you doing?" the little lizard demanded, staring at Bester from her place on the wall. She did love to climb along the walls. The maids shrieked and made all these funny noises.
Bester looked up at the lizard, raising one fluffy eyebrow. With a huff, he put down his load, shook out his mane, and picked up the small lion cub by the scruff of his neck again. The little guy let out a soft meow, looking absolutely pitiful curled up as tight as possible, dangling by the skin of his neck. "I found them wandering around," Bester informed his fellow animal, words slightly muffled from the cub in his mouth. "I'm taking the brats to Squalo's master. She should know what to do." With that, he began to walk again. Behind him, a puppy with a baby chick riding on its head, a leopard cub, a calf with an owl chick, and a joey with a little hedgehog in its pouch followed in a straight line.
Fantasma watched them until they were out of sight before deciding that today would be a very strange day indeed.
If today was going to be weird, she didn't want to be part of it. Too much noise, fuss, and a chance of her getting stepped of or hit. The library should be safe. Jumping from the wall, Fantasma continued on her way, now headed for the glorious place of books.
The salamander loved books. They told her many things about the world around her. She, unlike many of the idiots she shared a home with, could read. Her master had ensured she was read to, and taught all the important things in life. Like money. Money made the world go round. Money was very important. To properly understand money, you must read. So she read. And read. And read.
"Shit!" A voice yelled, startling Fantasma out of her World of Warcraft book. She turned to glare at whoever dare make such noise within her sacred domain. Barely a hiss had escaped her jaw before the books around her were scooped up and she found herself shoved into a bag. Squeaking in distress, she tried to pull herself out of the bag. The contents of said carrying item, which included a cell phone, three books, a and a bunch of other electronically devises she couldn't even fathom the purpose of knocked her this way and that.
"Master!" she shrieked, though it came out as a distressed hiss to human ears. "Master, help!" She finally reached the edge of her prison and began to scratch frantically at it, crying to help.
Prince looked up, ears twitching. Someone was screaming for help. Normally, the mink could care less about someone in distress. But he knew that voice. It was the voice of Fantasma, his best friend. Their masters were rarely seen apart, and as such, the two had become very good friends, much like Bester and Squalo. Glancing at his master, who was sleeping on the couch, he decided that he could leave. Besides, if Fantasma disappeared, he wouldn't have anyone to bug who wouldn't try and eat him!
He darted out of the room, down the hall, jumped down the stairs, and arrived in the front hall just in time to see the tenth Vongola running out the front door. With a distressed squeak, he raced forward and dived into the opening in the backpack just before the door slammed shut.
Fantasma gave him a watery eyed glare. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.
"Ushishishi, Prince is here to save you," Prince replied.
"You aren't doing a very good job," she pouted.
They sat in silence, trying to avoid getting squished as the things in the bag rattled around as the tenth Vongola ran wherever he was running to. It felt like an eternity until the bag was pulled open. Fantasma grabbed onto Prince's fur as he slipped out, the stupid human not even noticing as he pulled out his wallet.
The two animals stared in horror around them. Fantasma shrieked as a foot crashed down all too close to them. Prince darted away, weaving between stomping feet and stroller wheels. "Where are we?" cried the salamander hysterically.
"…I don't know…" They both screamed and hurried away as a hand reached down to grab them, followed by a scream.
"This…is all…your fault!" Fantasma panted once they were safely hidden under a bush.
"How is this my fault!"
"If you had stopped the brat instead of jumping in then I would be safe and sound with Master!" Fantasma cried. Prince could just imagine tears coming out of her eyes like when the humans were upset. Especially that small one that appeared a few months ago. She always cried! "How are we going to get home!"
"Prince shall get us home," the mink said even as he looked around hopelessly. He didn't even know where they were.
.
.
.
"Where is she!" demanded Mammon.
Squalo grabbed the younger woman, stopping her from tearing apart the training room. The magician had gone through most of the manor (with it's over a hundred rooms) in the past two hours, looking for her precious familiar. The little salamander had been missing for at least two hours. "Running around screaming isn't going to help," Squalo told the mist guardian as she cried for her best friend.
"Fantasma!"
"Prince is missing too!" Bel's furious yell made the very room shake. "Prince!"
"Fantasma!"
"Prince!"
"WHAAAAAA!"
Squalo dropped Mammon and left the room, swearing violently enough to make a sailor blush.
Mammon continued to cry while the prince yelled for his beloved pet.
The animals looked at each other before leaving the noisy area.
"Why they cwyin'?" asked the lion cub, standing on Bester's back with his front paws on the much larger cat's head.
"Awe they sad?" Uri inquired from her resting place curled up on the big cat's back.
"Ooooh~ poor Fantasma and Prince are missing!" Kuku cried dramatically, putting his wings over his eyes. "They're gooooone!"
"What's gone?" Jiro asked, cocking his head to one side. "Can I eats it?"
"Children," grunted Torpedo.
Speaking of children, Squalo appeared at that moment with still sniffling baby. "Squalo come here," she ordered her familiar. The shark floated over and watched the two females expectantly. When the three-month-old cooed and happily patted the great white's dorsal fin, the other animals relaxed. The child had done nothing but cry since they brought her home. Well…cry and take up attention. Though when she cooed and happily played with them, even they couldn't deny she was cute. "Now to figure out where those two troublemakers got to. Squalo, watch her." She left, calling for her first squadron.
Bester looked at the gathered animals. "We've got to find them. They aren't in the house."
"Whewe then?" that was Mukurowl, the little owl chick.
"Let's find out!" Jiro exclaimed, yipping in excitement. He pressed his nose to the floor and sniffed.
Bester joined him, as did Squalo. On his back, the baby squealed excitedly as they moved.
With a bark, Jiro took off down the hall, the others racing after him.
.
.
.
The crowds were finally waning after hours of waiting. The nauseating smell of humans, sweat, and badly cooked food was slowly being blown away as the strange place of loud noises and crowds began to close down. The sun was setting. Fantasma, cold-blooded as she was, was burrowed in Prince's fur, trying to keep warm.
"I'll never leave my terrarium again," grumbled the salamander from somewhere around Prince's neck.
"I shall never leave me royal quarters," agreed the mink. He sighed then hissed, snarling as the bush above them rustled and a hand reached in, grabbing the pair.
"Mommy! I found a ferret!" exclaimed an excited child, holding Prince up. The mink trashed, trying to claw at the child's face and hands, but the blasted creature was holding him so tightly he couldn't do much.
"Damn it!" Prince wheeze. "Get it off me! It's break my spine!"
"Let him go!" screamed Fantasma. The child shrieked in joy upon seeing the lizard.
"And a lizard! Mommy can I keep them! Please! Please! Plea…"
People were screaming, running. The child fell silent as a furious roar sounded from directly behind him. Turning, he stared in horror as a tiger, lion mix, taller than he was, glared at him, fangs bared. His mother screamed. The mink and salamader slipped from his suddenly limp hands. Both scampered up the liger's arm and hid in his thick mane.
"I missed you!" Fantasma wailed, burrowing into the blessedly warm mane.
"You have the humans worried," growled Bester while Natsu licked Prince.
"Then lets go home," Prince grumbled, all to read to sleep.
"WHAA!"
The animals winched as the child upon Squalo's back began to cry. She had been mostly quiet throughout the entire trip, simply cooing up a storm. Only now, as the sun was finally setting, and the cold set in. Squalo moaned softly as his ears protested the noise.
"Put her on my back," ordered the liger. Squalo was all too happy to let drop her on the giant cat's back. The animals on Bester's back cuddled close to her. Her tears waned. "Let's go." With a great leap forward, the group was off again, racing through the amusement part. The sound of sirens alerted them that some humans were going to be after them soon. "Faster!" He stopped briefly to grab Jiro (who had Kojiro on his head) in his jaws. Kuku and Kangaryu (with Roll the hedgehog in her pouch) jumped onto Torpedo's back.
.
.
.
"I leave for a date with Kyoko and this is what I return to?" demanded Tsuna, looking around at the panicking and crying mass before him. Mammon had dissolved into tears a little while ago when they had confirmed that her precious salamander wasn't in the manor. Squalo soon joined her when it was discovered that the rest of the animals were gone. And they'd taken Xiana.
"I can't believe this," growled Xanxus, standing beside a hysterical Squalo. "Where the fuck could they have gone? How the fuck did they get out!"
Before Tsuna could answer, there was a scream from the front hall followed by a very familiar wailing.
"Xiana!" Squalo was out of the room and sight before the others had even moved.
In the front hall, looking very smug, were the animals. Atop Bester's head were a tired looking mink and salamander.
"Prince!"
"Fantasma!" The two pets were just as eager to reassure their owners they were loved as the owners were to reassure them. "Never do that again," ordered the illusionist.
"I won't," promised the little lizard, though it came out as a hiss.
"Bester! Squalo! What the fuck do you think you were doing, taking her out there?" Squalo snarled, cradling her baby tightly. The smugness vanished from both animals, and they looked properly ashamed of their actions, though some of it vanished when Xanxus patted them both on the head and whispered good job.
That night, the animals were quite pleased. They hadn't gotten kicked out of the dining hall like they normally did, and they got table scrapes! Delicious!
Yami: So there we go. I feel like the ending was a little weak but it amused me so I'll keep it. Sorry again for my fail of a previous story. NO MORE SHALL BE THAT BAD! It's just...dancing is like fighting, and I can't write a real fight scene to save my life. Seriously...Question-kun has to write my fight scenes T-T
To a reviewer Bob from my last story: Thanks for making your review not a flame, however, I did remember all the character's names, but I didn't want to make it obvious. My friend DID manage to name all the characters, but he's read all my stories so perhaps that's why. Your comments have been noted, and if I ever have the audocity to attempt another dance one shot, I will be sure to remember what you said.
To all of you: ENJOY READ AND REVIEW X3
I've got one more story to write with the animals, so look for it.