Sunsets Everlasting

Because they are beautiful and tragic and today is a day of being morbid and celebrating Jily.

1971

Lily breathed in deeply as she closed her eyes and felt the cold wind being ushered by the setting sun. October 31sts had always been a big deal for Lily Marie Evans. Not for the reason all children loved them though. To her they were the end of the worst month of the year. To a person who didn't know her, this would seem odd. How can one month be different from all the others? But to someone who did know her, knew her extremely well, they would know the burden she carried from the 31st of September till the 31st of October every year. How she would be constantly on edge, constantly scared. Scared that she would lose someone else she loved during that dreaded month. Scared that she wouldn't get to say goodbye again. To her, it was a month of sickness and death. A month that she could really do without. A month that eventually culminated into the blissful sunset of October 31st.

That October 31st however she was joined by a boy who didn't know her, didn't know of her past or her burdens; a very unlikely companion. But perhaps just who she needed.

"Alright there Evans?"

"Potter, what are you doing out here? Why aren't you in the Halloween feast?"

"Saw you coming out here and decided to grace you with my presence."

Lily tried to reign in the smile threatening to break out on her face. The boy may have been a pest, but even during their most heated shouting matches he would always say some comment that would make her disobedient facial muscles twitch into a reluctant smile.

"I'm not in the mood to fight Potter"

"I would never pick a fight Evans, I simply came out here to enjoy the sunset with my dear housemate."

"'Dear housemates' are we now?"

"Oh Evans, are you saying I'm not dear to you? That wounds me."

"It looks like it's on fire." Lily said pointing at the setting sun, knowing his attention span was the equivalent of a flobberworms so surely anything bright and shiny would distract him.

"Kind of like your hair when your angry"

"I can still silenceo you and not fight."

After a while of just looking at the sun James started studying Lily as if she were the newest Cleansweep model. He knew something had been weighing on her this past month. Her hadn't exactly known her forever but the happy bubbly person he had seen in September was a far cry from the girl that had been survivng October.

"Why do you hate October?" He blurted. He hadn't meant to, but like so many times around Lily Evans the words had tumbled out of his mouth without forethought.

Lily's face fell slightly and she looked away from him. When she spoke again it was in a whisper. An echo of her normal cheery tone.

"Does it matter?"

"You've been upset this entire month. I don't want you to be upset"

Lily regarded him with a curious air. James hadn't exactly been the nicest person to her since she came to Hogwarts. He was smart and funny but also a bully, she didn't really know where she stood with him. He was mean to her bestfriend, but with her he only ever good-naturedly bickered. He would do something completely idiotic or just plain stupid, she'd reprimand him, he'd defend himself with a ridiculous amount of flair and drama, then she'd just roll her eyes and walk away. That was the way they were. The way they'd always been. The way they'd probably always be.

So she turned her head and looked out at the sun as it set over the Hogwart's grounds, colouring the sky in beautiful shades of orange and red. It looked like the whole sky was on fire. An ironic contrast to the chill that was slowly taking over the grounds.

1981

Lily looked out at the one sunset she had always loved above all the others. The last sun of October. Somehow that year it felt empty. It didn't have the same sense of relief that all her other October 31sts had always had. Infact as she looked at the setting sun, all she felt was uneasiness.

"You know Evans, if you're any more tense I'll need to relieve it and Harry's bound to wake up in a bit"

Lily turned around and looked at her husband of three years, the trademark Marauder grin plastered on his face.

"You do realise it's Potter now, right?"

"I do, I just love hearing you say it."

James took his wife in his arms and rested his chin on her head, fitting together like they always had. He knew that there was something bothering her today, and he knew he shouldn't ask her about whatever what it was. Lily was one of those people who didn't like to be interrogated. Then again, James was a Marauder and following the rules was not in their guidelines.

"What's wrong?"

Instead of answering him, Lily snuggled closer to him and began to toy with one of the hands enveloping her.

"Dear, I know you have an eerie fascination with my hands, and I promise you can enjoy them all you want after you answer me."

He tried to make light of the subject but he always hated the entire month of October and what it did to the woman he loved. Even now after so many years, October was, to Lily, the month her mother got sick. When she never got the chance to say goodbye because of a stupid school trip that she'd always regretted taking. He knew that today was the day she let go of that irrational burden but today it wasn't happening.

"Lily. Come on, talk to me."

"Do you remember that first Halloween night we spent together?"

"Spent together or spent together?"

"Back in first year you perv."

"Didn't we call a truce and watch the sunset?"

"Do you remember what I told you I thought the sunset looked like?"

"If I remember correctly, you said that the sky looked like it was on fire."

"When I look at the sunset now, I see the sky bleeding. I see Marlene bleeding out in Sirius' arms."

"Lily..."

Not able to stop her oncoming tears, Lily buried her face in her husband's chest, as her body racked with the sobs she tried every day to keep in. She never cried in front of Harry and not in front of James if she could help it. But it was all just too much sometimes. Their world was falling apart around them, but they had to hide out. Hide out while everyday people they loved where being killed.

"I miss her James. I miss her ridiculous letters and bad jokes. I just wish we could've all gotten there sooner."

"Lily we can't blame ourselves. I've known Marlene ever since we were five and it killed me to see the life go out of her. It killed me Lily. It killed me to see my sister die, to see my bestfriend's fiancé die, to see my wife's best friend die. But we owe it to Marly to live. We owe it to her to win this war."

"What if the next time we lose someone, I lose you?"

It was the one question they never dared breech. It was taboo. Neither of them could imagine a world without the other; it was unbearable to think of.

James looked away, mesmerised by the shades of red and how closely they resembled blood.

"James, look at me."

"I don't know what you want me to say Lily. Yes, there is a chance I'll die. But it's the way I'd want to go."

Lily's eyes started filling with tears at his brute honesty. How could he possibly accept his fate like that? How could he look at her and Harry knowing there's a chance that he mightn't be there the next day?

"How can you just say that James? Aren't you scared?"

"Of death? No. I've always lived around the possibility of death. My parent's being aurors and my entire family being considered 'blood-traitors', death was always just around the corner. If you dodge it today, it'll stare you in the face tomorrow. There's no way to avoid it; the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. So if I have to die, I'm going to die fighting."

"But you'll be dead. As in gone. You won't get to see this world you've fought for. Our son will grow up without a father. I won't have you anymore and I can't go through losing you."

"You remember that muggle saying you taught me; it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Well that's what gets me through the day. I have loved and I've been loved. I've had three amazing best friends and I won the heart of the girl I was obsessed with for the better part of my Hogwarts career. I've heard my son's first words and seen his first steps. Yes, I'm not exactly the worldliest of blokes and my life hasn't been that long, but we're in a war. Wars are orphans and childless parents and half lived lives. No matter what happens in this war, I will never be in the third category because I'm happy with my life."

Lily had always known that James was the martyr type. It takes one to know one really, but she couldn't lose him. They still had so many more memories to make, so much to do.

So she didn't answer him. She just turned back towards the sunset trying to regain that feeling of calm that always took hold of her during October 31st .

"I love you, Lily Evans Potter."

"I love you too James Potter."

Those whispered words were the only words said by Lily and James Potter as they saw the sun set. They might've paid more attention to every detail of that sunset if they had known it was to be their last. They might've noticed the ways the colours all mixed together and how beautiful the effect was. Instead Lily and James paid the utmost attention to each other. They did their very best to memorise every detail of each other just in case. They knew that their baby would be looked after by the people who loved them, but moving on to love someone else after the other had passed would've been impossible.

So they stayed in each other's arms, oblivious to the events that would happen that night. They didn't know that death would take them in just a few hours. They didn't know that death would do them the greatest service and take them together. They didn't know that the people they loved wouldn't be able to take care of their son. The didn't know in any of that, so they simply held each other and watched the sun set.

That was my first ever contribution to the October Jilyfest. Please review and check out my other Jily multi-chapter fic; Rollercoasters and Happy Places.