a/n: I wrote this story a long time ago and translated it now for . It is inspired of real life. I witnessed when two of my cousins were told that they were gonna move in a couple of weeks. Oh, the drama and despair that ensued! The kids were completely overwhelmed and hated the thought of having to leave home. That's when I realized how hard the constant moving around must have been on the boys when they were still new to it. I hope you enjoy my little glimpse in Sam's (7) and Dean's (11) childhood.
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Mr. Kripke & Co. not to me.
Moving…
„I don't want to move!"
Sam cried. Tears streamed down his round cheeks and he was sobbing so hard it made his small body shake uncontrollably.
Dean froze as he watched Dad furrow his brows with irritation. The boy didn't know what to do so he just stood there. After a moment John turned around without saying a word and made his was into the living room of their tiny apartment. The fact that they'd leave this temporary home the day after tomorrow slowly sunk into the child's brain. "Not again." was the only thing he could think of.
He liked this city. Buenpueblo, as it was called, had welcomed them with open arms. First he'd felt alienated by the Hippies that inhabited this part of the Southern California Coast but soon they'd turned out to be the most warm-hearted and open minded people they'd encountered – ever. That little fact had contributed a lot to their well being in the past few months. After only two weeks they'd become fully integrated in school and had made friends, even Sammy who usually had more difficulties adjusting to new crowds. So it was less hard on both of them to spend most of their nights alone at home, sealing the doors and windows with salt lines as they were told and hoping for their Dad to return unharmed.
The three local boys Dean preferred to hang out with even started to teach him surfing in the afternoons. He loved it, just like he loved Buenpueblo and its people. He didn't want to leave either.
Sam was still crying. He looked lost and fragile. Dean felt his guts turn as he saw his brother in this desperate state.
"I don't want to move!" the little one repeated between sobs then he jumped up and ran after their father "Dad!"
"Oh shit!" the older brother thought and followed him.
John had turned around to his youngest and now towered in front of him. Through gritted teeth he commanded „Stop it, Sammy! Just stop it!"
„But Dad! I… I…" Sam sniffed "…we…Please! I want to stay! Please, Daddy?"
John nervously combed through his thick dark hair with one hand then it fell to his side. Unconsciously it clenched to a fist next to his hip. „Samuel! It's enough! I got it, Ok? But we. Are. Gonna. Move! End of story!"
"But…" by now Sam's pleas had turned into this high pitched whine that never got him anywhere when it came to Dad. „But my…my friends! I don't want to loose them! Jimmy and Daniel and… Dad! Pleeeease?"
"Alright!" John squinted his eyes angrily. „That's enough!" With a few quick steps he closed the gap between the two of them. He knelt down and gripped his disobedient son hard by his shoulders. Too hard. The boy uttered a surprised "Ow!" and John shouted „Stop it, kid! I swear to God that you're gonna get into a lot of trouble if you don't stop crying like a girl RIGHT NOW!"
With shock Sam froze and seemed to have forgotten what all this was about. A moment later he started wailing and squirmed to get out of the painful grip. „But Dad…"
„No! Shut up! Just SHUT UP!"
The boy fell silent. His gaze dropped to the ground and he bit his lips. John watched him intently as he tried to get himself together. When he could be sure that Sam was under control again he let go of him and stood. He took a deep breath and turned to Dean.
„Get your brother to bed. Read him a story or whatever. Do what it takes to calm him down."
Dean nodded out of reflex. He walked over to Sammy, took him by his hand and led him to their shared bedroom.
While the boys retreated to their room John murmured: „Tomorrow you can say Goodbye to your friends, if you want. Both of you. Meanwhile I'll do the packing." A hint of an apology resonated in his words.
All of a sudden Sam's eyes teared up again. Fast Dean closed the door behind them.
„Sammy, stop it! Please…" Worried he watched his sniffling brother. Tears started to stream down his cheeks once again, but this time the small boy stared expressionless into space instead of throwing a tantrum. Not a sound came over his lips. Dean's heart sank as he saw his brother like this. For lack of a better idea he started stroking his back softly. Luckily both of them were already in their pajamas. John had dropped the good news right before bedtime.
„Come to bed, Sammy." His own voice sounded kind of hoarse. He cleared his throat. With soft pressure he pushed his brother towards their twin sized bed, that – much to their initial annoyance – they had to share. Tonight though, both of them would be happy to have the other one close by.
Sam slipped under the covers but didn't lie down yet. He sat with his back to the wall and was still crying silently. Snot kept running down his nose. Agitated Dean searched their room for handkerchiefs. He really didn't want to have to go to the kitchen. He didn't want to meet John. But he found none. He sighed and turned around to Sam. „Wait here. I'll be back in a sec."
As he was about to open the door he felt something trickling down his own cheek. The older boy wiped it away and realized that it was a tear. Determined he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the thumb and index finger of his right hand against his lids to stop more from coming. Then he took a deep breath and sneaked into the living room.
As expected John sat with his back to him on the old, shabby couch. The ancient TV set was mute and its screen black. The boy could watch his own stretched reflection, trying to tiptoe as inconspicuously as possible towards the kitchen. There he found some tissues and grabbed a couple of them. Back in the living room he froze as John spoke to him.
„Dean? Come here." His deep voice sounded a lot calmer than before. Obedient the addressed turned around and walked to the couch. Now Dean realized that there was a bottle of alcohol on the coffee table. His Dad took a sip of the golden brown liquid that swashed in the heavy glass in his hand. Then he put it down again and looked at Dean.
„I am sorry, son. I'm so sorry…" The sudden despair in his fathers gaze worried the boy. „I didn't mean to…I don't want to leave either, Dean. I know that this is a good place for the two of you, but…I don't have a saying in that matter. We don't have a choice, do you understand? You do understand, right?"
Dean nodded even though he didn't understand at all. He just couldn't deny his father the approval he seemed to need so badly. His father's eyes lit up a little and he smiled tenderly. „You're a good boy. Now go and help Sammy, he needs you."
Dean nodded once more and turned to leave but John stopped him short. „Tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him…"
„I will." With that Dean disappeared into the kid's room.
Sam still sat on the exact same spot. His arms were wrapped around his knees and he stared into space again. At least he'd stopped crying, only his eyes were still red and puffy. Without a word Dean slipped underneath the blankets and sat right next to him. He held out the tissues. Sam blew his nose noisily then he handed the tissue back. Dean threw it careless on the floor.
„Thanks." Sam's fragile voice broke the silence.
Dean scooted up even closer and wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders. The younger one sank exhausted against his big brothers frame. Dean felt him relax a little.
„It's not fair!" murmured Sammy weakly „I don't want to leave."
"I know. I don't wanna leave either. But we have to… And don't worry, we'll find new friends. I'm sure at the next place there'll live great kids. Maybe even cooler ones than here…"
Sam's doubtful gaze told him that he didn't believe a word he was saying. „Maybe." It sounded hopeless.
„Of course! And if we're bored at the beginning you'll be allowed to… choose the TV program."
His brother's eyes lit up. „Really?"
„Yeah! Promise! When Dad'll be gone and we don't have friends yet you will be king of the remote control."
"Wow! Cool!" Sam smiled happily with puffy eyes and Dean got a little scared.
„Well…for the first two weeks at least."
"Every day?"
"Yes," Dean sighed. "Every day of the first two weeks in the new place." He promised and cursed silently. Those were going to be two very long weeks. He hated most of the shows Sammy liked, but at least now he had something to look forward to.
„Alright, now let's go to sleep."
Sam nodded content and slid completely under the covers. Dean got up, switched off the light and got back to bed. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.
„Dean?"
„Yeah?"
„Why was Dad so angry with me?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's because he doesn't like us crying."
"Why?"
"It upsets him."
"Why?"
"Because… he wants us to be strong. As strong as he is."
"Why?"
"For Gods sake, Sammy!"
"What?"
"Ungh!"
"What is it?"
"Please Sammy, just stop asking, Ok?"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE I don't know exactly why Dad got mad. But I am sure that it wasn't your fault. He said he was sorry. He didn't mean to be so hard on you, Ok?"
"K."
"Good! Now let's get to sleep."
…
"Dean?"
"What?"
"Good night."
Dean sighed. "Good night to you too."
Carefully Sam moved a little closer towards his brother. When Dean turned around and opened his arms as he had hoped, he snuggled up to him. This way the boys finally went to sleep.