I know you still have dreams, about those days of terror. I know you still see thier faces, when you close you eyes and think.
I know no matter what you do the pain will never fully go away.
In your mind you see it all replay again. Gunfire, flames, bombs, cries of children, all errupt in your ears when the word war is mentioned. Blood, victims, suffering, you see it all before you as if the impression were still fresh.
You'll never fully understand it, and I am very thankful for that. I'd never want you to know the feeling... the feeling of slaughtering the helpless, the innocent. One by one killing them off, as your spirit slowly dies with them.
I hope you never experience those things. The horrible things I saw, the horrible things I did. The memories shall never fade.
Though I have no visible battle scars, my thoughts will forever be tainted.
Even as I hear, story after story, it's hard to grasp it all. Why did things turn out the way they did? Why was nobody there to stop the sensless killing.
But I don't blame you. I never did for a second. I know it was against your better judgement, and I realize you were there out of obligation.
Please forgive yourself, let go of the grudge you feel.
Battlefields stained crimson, red with blood, painted with lives. The images will forever live on in the hearts of those who saw it.
It was my decision to do as told. To obey the commands I was given. And I'd give anything to take that decision back. But I can't, I must live on, as hard as it may seem.
Many times I've considered the alternative, taking my own life as replacement for those that I ruined.
But that isn't equivalent exchange...
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. The principle of equivalent exchange. In order to gain something must be taken away. It seems like a simple equation, a life for a life... yet somehow...
Noone would recieve anything at the loss of me. But the law works the other way as well, what have I done to deserve what I have. To be a survivor, despite my lack of innocence. The things I did there... I hope you never feel that aching pain in your soul...
I may not understand the way you felt. But I do know, and I respect you for it. I know what you did in Ishbal.
(A/N) A bit confusing eh?? Well both of the narrators are unknown and can be anyone you please. -Smiles- I've got my own choice characters in mind that it could be but I'll keep that to myself.
This was yet another fic I based off a title I randomly came up with. I dunno, this one's kinda weird and mysterious... and emo. Oh, disclaimer!
Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist... wow THAT would be interesting...
Anyways, please review, bye!