Hey guys!
Yep, I'm back! And yes, the commentary got deleted by the admin, and Camille's account got deleted permanently. I figured that I could post this one last thing that Madelyn sent me. It was the finale for the troll-fic, and she was able to send it to me the night before the story got terminated. I've decided not to do commentary for this chapter...I'll explain why in the end.
Enjoy, maybe?
-Loren
OGM GYS STOP WIT UR PLES OF KILING MUSLEF AN SHIT DI U HAV ANU IDAE HOW DAT FELS IM JSUT TRYIN 2 RITE A SOTRY OMG U GYUS R INSNETESNTVE. AN I HAV DIS NRW BF NAMD RILEY HES SOOOOO HOT AN IT TURNS OT DAT LIK I SAD MARUKS IZ A LOSR.
ANUWAU YAH DIS DA FINAL I HPOE U ENKOY I WIH DIS CULD LSAT 4EVR BUT AL GOD THIN HAV 2 COM 2 AM END. :((((((((((((
enjoy! :DDDDDDDD
twilitie opned da bok an showd mer da pags. da pags promsied a betr sotry. som thin abot a "big reveal."
"big reveal, huh?" cobian sad ass he lokd ovr ma shouolder. he ten wiserped, "I'd bang my head against a wall if it was Camille writing in English and a way better plot..."
And then, suddenly, it happened.
In one white flash that was so uncontrollably fast to come and faster to leave, Animazement turned upside-down from the rainbow covered bullshit it once was. I turned to my boyfriend, who was no longer a pony, but rather...a human. He looked down at his Link cosplay, then glared at me, asking, "What the fuck am I doing wearing this?"
"Um..." I said, staring at the book and then back at him. "You're...cosplaying...as Link? W-We're dating, remember?"
"Link?" he retorted. "Who in the hell is Link? And I'm not dating you. Taken," he mimicked me, holding up a ring on his finger. "Remember?"
He lit a cigarette, next to the sign that said, "NO SMOKING," and paced towards the door. I tried not to laugh at a grown man wearing green leotards, so I bit my lip until it bled.
"Screw this," he growled. "Where in the hell are Dave and-"
But he was cut off.
"OH MY GOD!"
In a matter of mere seconds, two men sprinted into the door, holding what appeared to be a bunch of blankets in their hands. Kurt's eyes widened, as his fellow bandmates panted before him.
"What-"
"Kurt! Kurt!" Dave Grohl wheezed, showing Kurt the baby in the blankets. "I got Kris pregnant!"
Kurt glared at him, then down at the baby.
"...What?" was all he could muster. I could tell his mind was finally blown.
"Yeah!" the bassist for Nirvana showed him the baby, saying, "We named her Nirvana. Y-You know, the band?"
"Really? There's a band out there named Nirvana?" Kurt turned their back to them, exhaling the grey smoke. "I had no idea! Oh, WHERE can I get an album of theirs?"
"W-Well, some people thought we were being religious or something," Dave shrugged. "Anyway, we were in bed together, and I think we were-"
"Ponies?"
Five ponies walked out, with a blue one with a rainbow mane leading them in. The purple pony that once assisted me joined them. The three band members stared at them, with Dave slowly nodding and pointing at them.
"Yeah..." he answered. "Yeah! Like those!"
Kurt turned to me, stating, "Right. When I was a pony, we were dating."
I nodded. He facepalmed.
"Oh my God..." was the very last thing he said before leaving the convention in pure astonishment. Dave and Kris, however, stood behind, as Rainbow Dash walked up to Dave.
"So..." Rainbow giggled awkwardly. "We...uh..."
"Dated." Dave finished.
"Um, yeah." Rainbow nodded. "Back when you were Graze, and back when I was RD, when no one could tell if I was a gangsta OR BIKR."
"Tattoos..."
"Flying into people's chests..."
"Infatuation with women..."
Rainbow Dash paused for a moment, then stated, "Nah. It's still kind of there."
The other five ponies behind her nodded. Fluttershy was trying to remember if she even knew who Crush 40 was, Pinkie Pie was thinking about blowing up the world, and Rarity and Applejack took care not to stand too close to each other, while Applejack kept her tail in between her legs and her eyes widened.
Dave pursed his lips, staring at the pastel abominations before him. And with that, he and Kris left for Washington where they happily resided. Raleigh was a ways away, but that was alright. They had a beat-up car they could use, which was once a rainbow lambourghini.
All they left behind was awkward silence...until...
"TWILIGHT!"
A purple and green dragon ran out from nowhere, jumping into his master's arms. He embraced her and cried, saying, "I PROMISE I'LL NEVER MAKE OUT WITH YOU AGAIN!"
"Ditto, Spike," Twilight was slowly erasing that memory from her head. "Dit-"
But she was cut off. It was one of those days.
"WAIT!" Celestia crashed through the ceiling along with Princess Luna, and at this point, the bronies started to take pictures of said lifetime achievement. Her bird, Philomena, (dipshit,) flew by her side as she trotted over to Twilight. All the ponies bowed, and the men followed behind them.
"Twilight," Celestia addressed the lavender unicorn. "Have you learned anything from friendship today?"
"We have!" two girls walked out from, again, nowhere. One had long, brown hair with equally brown eyes and was wearing even better Link cosplay than that of the now deceased Kurt Cobain, while the other wore a Ravenclaw scarf and glasses, with short, brown hair.
"Oh really?" Celestia hummed. "Do tell."
Loren, the girl with the long hair, began with, "We learned that being inspirations for a troll-fic was actually rather interesting, and posing as Camille's friend and making a 'joint account' with her, even though this was all her doing, gave out some hilarious results! When Camille wrote the amazing chapters and commentary, everyone thought it was my doing, when really, it wasn't!"
"We also learned that posing as Camille's chemistry partner, even though you're a senior and she's a sophomore, gave you the ability to explain how much bigger of an idiot she was intended to appear as! Also, knowing that you were the inspiration for the troll-fic itself gives you a bizzarely fuzzy feeling inside, where you don't know if it's honor or nausea you feel in your lower intestine!" Madelyn finished.
Celestia's eyes widnened at this. Never had a lesson been longer than two sentences on the show.
"Oh." she muttered, as a Portuguese-born boy and an Asian girl walked out from you-guessed it.
"WHY is my name Santiago?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow. "Not even MARKUS is anywhere close!"
"And what about me?" Maria folded her arms. "Your...sister?"
I shrugged. They expected me to explain all this to them?
The next thing I knew, I was bombarded with questions from all the ponies, from the flamers, from the characters-inspired-from-people...
"Why did you say I was a bitch who lived on the moon?!" (I've literally only watched, like, ten episodes of MLP. I barely know what purpose you actually serve besides someone who fucks shit up.)
"Where's the proper spelling and grammar?" (Troll-fic, genius.)
"WHY DID YOU MAKE ME KILL MARIA ROBOTNIK?!" (Oh yeah. You got into this too, but I had no idea where to put you in. You're my favorite character, if that's any consolation.)
"How DARE you say Sonic '06 was the best game ever! Why did you say that?!" (Right, so, it's not. The Game Grumps did the best PLAYTHROUGH ever, but...)
"How many guys have you screwed since you got here?" (Kurt, Santiago, Shadow, partially Rainbow and...oh my God. That's it.)
"You're a bitch!" (That wasn't a question.)
"You should never write again!" (Whoa, dude.)
"I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE SUCH A TWAT!" (WHOA, DUDE.)
"KILL YOURSELF." (WHOA, DUDE!)
I stood there with my mouth agape, staring at the statistics. Hundreds of people from all over read this story, with over 150 reviews to its name. I even posted a few myself, as Loren, SonicAndShadow34, and as a few more users whose names will never be shared. I never thought I would go this far...
But then, I felt sudden pain as Nicholas Cage rode out on a Swahili Yoshi and shot me in the tits with a marshmallow gun, while Morgan Freeman and Tommy Wisseau came out from the cash register and started doing the Charleston while Pikachu was playing a toy piano and Captain America stabbed me with the edge of his shield.
And then, with my frizzy hair and Sonic the Hedgehog cosplay, I died.
Then Discord blew up everything.
Then he read this.
Then he blew up his mind.
Because that's the only way to end this, really.
And there you have it. Yes, I am a troll. And that's all I have to say about that.
Discuss, if you may, but for now, I ride off into the sunset with grace and style. I be at Animazement now. Farewell, everypony. It's been fun.
-Camille/Loren/Madelyn/Z
P.S. No. This is not a hack. You've been trolled, you've been trolled, and I don't know if you've been told.