A brown field mouse with a fancy looking sword stood next to a larger rat with one eye.

"Hi, I'm Martin the warrior." The mouse introduced himself.

"I'm Cluny the scourge." The rat waved his bladed tail.

Martin eyed the weapon nervously and contemplated pulling his blade own out as well, but a quick glance to the right showed a mouse with a sword strapped to his back that looked suspiciously like a chainsaw told him otherwise. "I'm a woodlander."

Cluny didn't notice martin's nervousness. "And I'm a vermin."

Deciding to start things off simple, Martin got this off smoothly, "So, you had a bell dropped on you." Cluny grunted.

"Cheap shot." Martin raised a brow.

"How is that a cheap shot?" He asked, slightly defending his spiritual descendant.

Cluny rolled his eye, "Maybe you didn't read the book. Matthias DROPPED a freaking bell on my head."

"You're bigger and stronger then him!" Martin called out, "It's only natural that-"Cluny cut him off.

"Natural? I don't see how that fight was even fair to start with!"

"You mean with that one eye?" Martin taunted.

Cluny was resisting the urge to pummel the mouse, and was losing, badly. "Yes, with my one eye, as I was saying-" Another cut off.

"How did you lose that eye anyway?" Martin asked out of the blue.

"I lost it in battle when it was stabbed by a pike!" Cluny explained furiously.

"What happened to the pike wielder?" Martin was beginning to lose his cool as well.

"I don't know! Brian Jacques never wrote about him!"

"Wow that's real threatening Cluny." Martin turned his head to the camera, "Hey kids," He spoke as though he was talking to a bunch of dibbuns. "Did you know Cluny the loony had his eye poked out? And he didn't even know what happened to the pike guy! Probably because he was too busy crying his EYE out."

Cluny's nostrils flared. "I did not cry like some little dibbun!"

Martin had a counter, "You're right, for all we know, you ran off as fast you can crying for your mommy."

Cluny's paw went for his sword. "Are you implying I'm a wimp?"

Martin's went for his. "Brilliant deduction. Idiot."

Cluny drew. "You wanna fight?"

So did martin. "I'd thought you never ask!"

VRRRROOOOMMMM

The two arguing beast swiftly turned to a ticked off Clint holding a fully revved up chainsword.

"If there's any bloodletting around here, it's come from me! NOW APOLOGIZE!" Needless to say, Martin and Cluny shook paws.

"I'm terribly sorry and hope you live a nice life with rose!"

"Likewise and I hope you get back your other eye!"

"Shall we run?"

"Lets!"

And with that, Martin and Cluny took off out into the woodlands. When they left however, the camera swerve to Clint.

"Remember kids, violence is never the answer. Unless you have a chainsaw." And with that oh-so helpful note, the lights dimmed.

A/N: I've been getting reviews about the pike wielder. I want to point out while yes it is a fish, it is also a long, spear like weapon used for counter measure against cavlary assaults. In other words, its a really long spear.