Summery: Dean lets his soft side for Sam show through after almost losing him at Cold Oak. Sam realizes he's missed being this close. Not slash just brotherly love/fluff. Some Hurt/Comfort. Tag to 2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2. Oneshot.
"Sammy." Dean's voice is soft, lacking the normal authoritative undertone, as he runs his hand tenderly along his little brother's arm, relishing the feeling of life until his finger tips. They are lying, heads propped up with one arm, facing each other on the small queen bed in the same motel room they'd rented before Sam had died from a knife to his back and Dean had been forced to make a deal with a demon to get his brother back. There's half eaten burgers and pie between them but Dean can't stop looking at his brother's soft face, his deep hazel eyes, even his shaggy hair that he normally thinks Sam should cut.
But tonight Dean doesn't think that, he's just happy to have his brother alive and breathing next to him, complete with ridiculous hair, and his obsession with those gross veggie burgers. He smiles to himself, Sam was worth selling his soul and going to hell for. Of this he is certain.
Just like dad did… he shudders at the memory. But it doesn't matter, he couldn't let Sam stay dead, couldn't dream of living without his pain-in-the-ass little brother by his side. It was his job to protect Sam, end of story. He would do it all again in a heartbeat.
Regardless, he still feels a bit traumatized by the whole situation and he thinks he deserves the right to show a bit of affection without being picked on, just this once. He just needs to reassure himself that Sam is really here. Really alive.
But Sam doesn't know any of that, and as far as he's concerned, Dean is acting really weird. What's with all the hugging suddenly? And why is Dean being so nice? Getting him food he likes and taking care of him like a little kid again.
"Dean." Sam pushes his brother's hand away with a small huff. Since he woke up earlier that day, Dean as been unusually affectionate, giving him these weird little looks like a love sick puppy? And he's suggested they stay one more night so Sam can rest up, which is not like Dean at all. "I'm fine, I'll just be sore for a few days, that's all." He wiggles his nose in annoyance. "So you can stop touching me!"
"Don't be a pervert." Dean rolls his eyes, punching Sam on the arm, forcing a small groan from the younger man. "I'm just making sure your delicate, princess self doesn't have any scratches anywhere else. I don't want you fainting again."
Dean thinks he's successfully covered up his previous, embarrassing action by being a jerk. Hopefully. He doesn't want Sam to know that he was dead mere hours before and what Dean has done to save him, not yet. He just wants to spend some time with his brother, because he's just been rudely reminded that Sam is mortal and he can die.
"You get stabbed in the back and see how you feel!" Sam replies indignantly. He gives Dean a questioning look, but the older Winchester is suddenly shoving pie in his month like nothing happened. Maybe it's nothing, but Sam can't shake the feeling that everything is not fine, the feeling that their world has taken a turn for the worse.
They finish their food in silence, Dean actually got him a veggie burger, nothing normal about that! And Dean gets up to throw way their trash, grabbing Sam's before the younger man can ease himself off the bed.
"Don't want you bleeding all over the sheets." Dean explains when Sam raises his eyebrows in surprise.
Sam puts on his best bitch face, but inwardly he's grateful. He back is hurting more than he'd like to admit and knowing Dean is there to care for him is comforting. Dean is the closest thing he's ever had to a mother, since John had been gone so much and wasn't really the sensitive type when he was there. It had always been his big brother whom he'd turned to when he got any injuries, physical or otherwise.
But when Dean returns to his bed after throwing away the paper bags that the burgers had been wrapped in, instead of sitting on his own bed – which is closer -, Sam knows there's more going on than Dean's typical parenting behavior.
"Okay, really? You want to tell me what's going on, dude?"
"Don't worry, Sammy. I won't try anything while you're not looking."
"Ww-hhat?" Sam stammers in confusion. "Dean! Seriously? I mean it. What has gotten into you?"
"I don't see why we can't sit together and watch tv, or something." Dean grumbles darkly, moving to rest his back against the headboard and crossing his arms across his chest. Why did Sam have to make this awkward with his hundred-and-one questions?
Seeing how upset Dean seems, Sam softens his approach. "I'm sorry, it's just…we haven't..." Sam waves his hand in the air in a vague gesture between them as if he's not sure what to call what they're doing. "…hung out like this in… like, forever." He finishes lamely.
Dean turns to meet Sam's gaze, he can see the confusion in his baby brother's eyes, and he's pretty sure a small spark of hope. Like he's missed this interaction just as much as Dean has. They used to be so close, than Sam had to go off to collage…
"I almost lost you…" the solemn tone in Dean's voice scares Sam. He's never seen his brother this close to breaking before.
"But you didn't."
"But I could have…" Dean trails off, avoiding Sam's gaze, not wanting to get choked up in front of his little brother. That would be embarrassing.
"I can't lose you, Sam."
"Hey." Sam reaches over and places his hands gently on Dean's cheeks, forcing him to look up. They've both had plenty of close calls with death before, but none have affected Dean like this. His stomach knots at the thought that Dean might be hiding something from him, but he pushes the unease aside.
"I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not."
"Damn straight you're not." Dean pushes Sam's hands from his face and rolls over so he's over top the younger Winchester, knees on either side of his body and hands holding his arms over his head and against the bed, effectively pinning Sam down just like they'd done nearly two years ago when he'd gone to fetch Sam from college. Back when the only person they'd lost had been their mother. Back before dad had died, before Sam had died, before selling their souls to demons had become a family trademark.
"Get off!" Sam struggles against Dean's weight, but relaxes when Dean pushes his butt into his stomach, keeping him from moving. He doesn't want to pull the stab wound on his back and has to admit he kind of likes the attention. He misses wrestling around like this, just being brothers without a care in the world.
"I'm not letting you leave."
"Aw, would you miss me?" Sam smirks, twisting his arm free to grab Dean behind the neck, trying to pull Dean closer so he can roll him over and off the bed.
"Shut up, bitch." Dean shoves Sam's chest hard, his voice rough but full of fondness.
"Ow!" Sam gasps as sudden pain shoots through his lower back, he tenses in a vain attempt to ease his cramping muscles, his face scrunched as he tries to catch his breath. He really wants Dean to get off but his mouth can't seem to form the words. "D'n…" his fingers grip Dean's t-shirt tightly.
"You, okay?" Luckily Dean knows what's going on and carefully untangles himself from Sam. There's concern in his voice and a look of apology on his face.
"Yeah." Sam nods as the sharp throbbing resides to a dull ache. But he doesn't move to sit up.
"I think I have some pain killers in my bag." Dean gets up and digs through his duffle until he locates the ibuprofen. Filling a cup with water he hands that and two small orange pills to Sam.
"Thanks." Sam says gratefully as he drinks down the offered water and pills while Dean watches him like a hawk. Sam can't help but feel happy, in spite of everything, even though he's sure tomorrow holds in store a load of shit. Right now he's content to sit here with Dean and to do nothing but act like real brothers again. Just fight on the bed and call each other names, if only for tonight.
"Don't get used to it." there's a softness to Dean's expression that says otherwise.
"Jerk." Sam chokes on the last bit of water as he smiles and throws the cup at Dean who easily dodges the flying object.
Dean shakes his head mockingly, his gaze drifting over Sam's body, remembering how small he'd looked laying there only a few hours before, grey faced and motionless. Stark contrast to the way he appeared now, so cocky and full of himself with that smug little smirk playing on his lips. Sam meets Dean's gaze, his puppy dog eyes filled with affection, kindness, and hope for the future. All the things Dean is sure he'd never possess again without his brother next to him, keeping him human.
Yes, yes indeed. Sam was absolutely worth saving.
"Bitch."