Anger Within

He couldn't help it. Every time he saw her, he felt anger burning within him. He had to walk away.

In Sam's mind, Donna could never be a part of the team. He hated the way that she just came right on in and started bantering with everyone like she had been there for years and that nobody else seemed to care that she was there and Jules wasn't. It seemed like the rest of Team One didn't even notice that Jules wasn't around anymore. They seemed to just push her memory aside for the new girl.

Every time Donna walked into the room Sam had to leave. He couldn't stop himself. If he didn't leave, he would have yelled at all of them. His rage would have broken through the surface and he wouldn't have been able to hold himself back. That morning when he had been working out and Donna had just seamlessly entered into Spike's usual storytelling saga, he couldn't help but bang the weight down on the rack and just walk away. He knew that Ed would bust him for it later, that he knew that Sam despised Donna.

It wasn't that he despised her, he might have even been nice to her if he had met her under different circumstances. He was angry at everyone, especially Sarge, for wanting to have another female presence on the team. It wasn't just that she was female, but she was invading her space, Jules's space. Sam couldn't help but be angry at Sarge for choosing a woman. He wouldn't have minded as much if Sarge had chosen a guy because at least no one would be able to touch Jules's space.

Sam almost felt as if his and Jules's privacy had been scarred as well. That locker room was like their secret place. It was were he had confronted her after her hard hit against the structure at the mall, and where he had ever so delicately brushed his fingers along her bruise. It was the first touch of her skin that made him really truly want more from her. He did not like to think of that space being intruded upon by some other woman who thought that she was all high and mighty just because she could beat out a bunch of other guys to be in the cool pants.

That was Jules's spot. Sam would never think of it another way. All the while, when he was watching Donna he couldn't help but think back to the other morning when he was visiting Jules's at the hospital before his shift. She had insisted that she was not planning on staying there for very long.

"Good. That's good. We're missing you bad," he had insisted, sitting down on the edge of her bed and scooting closer to her.

"Oh yeah? How bad?" Jules's playful tone penetrated Sam deeply, and he knew she wasn't really talking about the team.

"Really bad."

"Yeah? Not so bad that the team's not looking for someone to fill my spot." Jules looked disappointed as she said this, and Sam could see the resentment within her statement.

"Final round of recruiting is today," Sam told her, not wanting too, but knowing that he would find out anyway. She could do that to him, even from her hospital bed.

"Anybody good?"

"We're down to six."

"From?"

"Three hundred, so, yeah they're good."

Sam hadn't wanted to go into work that morning. He hated the thought of looking for someone to fill Jules's spot. He didn't like the lightness that the rest of the team took either. It seemed to him like they thrived off of torturing recruits. He wouldn't have minded except the back of his mind kept nagging him, saying that it was Jules that they were trying to replace.

He still couldn't understand why it seemed like no one else cared that Donna was replacing Jules. I guess he could understand the fact that eventually everyone moved on and that the team would have to deal with losing and replacing people, but it wasn't like Jules was dead or something. She got shot, end of story. In a while she would be back on her feet and fighting for her spot back. Sam just did not like how everyone pretended that Donna was there to stay and that no one else recognized Jules's lose.

He would readily admit that he was more attached to Jules that everyone else on the team. I mean, he was sleeping with her and was falling hard and fast for her, but he thought that they had all cared about her. They were always trying to protect her and make sure she wasn't the one that got hurt, and now that she was, they had pushed her aside for some wannabe.

Sam's anger got to him even more after the home invasion. Donna had been thinking she was all high and mighty because she didn't screw up her first actual mission. That pissed Sam off.

He knew that Ed had noticed that every time Donna was around that he would just leave, but he really couldn't help it.

That night, after he left the station, he returned to the hospital, where Jules would be, no doubt, waiting for him.

She was.

"Hey!" Jules called out when she heard her door creak open, a noise that she had trained her ears for since she was going to be stuck in that room for at least another week.

"Hey babe. How're you doing? How was therapy?" Sam crossed the small space between the door and the bed, sitting down close to Jules.

"Good, hard, but good. How was work? Did you break in the rookie?" Jules inquired, but could tell that something was off. She reached up her good arm and touched Sam's face delicately. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I am fine, it was just a long day." Sam leaned in closer, planting a soft kiss on Jules's lips. Jules wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him down, but Sam pulled abck slightly.

"Woah, a little eager today are we? I don't want to hurt you Jules." Sam sat back up, taking Jules's hand in his own.

"Are you sure you are okay? Usually you are the one who can't get enough." Jules laughed at herself, but when she looked back at Sam, she noticed that he wasn't even listening to her. "Sam, it's getting to you isn't it?

"What?"

"Everything. Me being here, not being at work, having a new girl fill my spot, everything." Jules looked at Sam with genuine concern written all over her face.

"I'm fine." Sam lied, not wanting her to know how much t really hurt him to see her like this, and not wanting to admit all of his feelings for her.

"No, you're not. Don't lie to me. I know it hurts, but Sarge already assured me that when I get back, and I will get back, that I can have my spot back, just like that, no questions asked. You don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine." She squeezed his hand, but he still looked unsure.

"Jules, I hate seeing you like this, in this hospital. I want you at work, where I can see you all the time, every second. I hate having some other girl come in and pretend like she is so great, and seeing her take over your space. I can't handle it." Sam confessed, he could never keep secrets from Jules, he cared too much for her. "I hate how the rest of the team pretends that everything is fine and dandy, when it's not. You're here, so how can everything be fine. It's not fine!" Sam resorted to yelling.

"Shhh . . .it's okay. Its part of the job, they all know what its like to be here, in my spot. They still come visit, they haven't forgotten about me." Jules understood where Sam was coming from, though, and she knew that their relationship wasn't helping matters at all. "Sam, I want you to know that everything will work out. I will be back to work and everything will be like normal."

"I know its just," Sam cut himself off, not able to tear his eyes away from Jules's intense eyes, and how she was looking at him with extremely affection and adoration. "Jules, you know the day you got shot? How right before we got the call I was going to tell you something?"

"Yeah?" Jules couldn't forget, she had been playing that scene over and over in her head every day since that exact moment.

"I wanted to tell you that . . . that I think I am falling in love with you." Sam laid all his feelings on the table, something eh had never really done before, but he knew that this time, it would be worth it.

"Sam?" Jules said tentatively.

"Yeah?" Sam looked at her, ready to hear her reply.

"I think I'm falling for you too."