not mine, no profit garnered. Title and opening quote from Alexandria Hall's Practice Test for Insatiable Loneliness. Set in season 1. Thanks to the JAM! and A!

9. One man's trash
a) is out of the office, returning Tuesday.
b) contains multitudes.
c) would like to thank you
for your generous donation.
d) is eventually revealed to be just trash.

Astrid had to walk a little faster than she preferred to keep up with Peter. She said, "Hey, slow down," and jokingly grabbed his arm.

He stopped, turned and smiled at her. "I am walking slowly."

"You are not," she said. "And you have longer legs than me."

They started up again, Peter walking in an exaggerated amble. She got that he was trying intentionally to make her smile. She appreciated that. They had been working late, now they were getting coffee and pastries to take back to the lab and stay up even later. Well, Walter and Peter would, Astrid had already made it clear she was leaving as soon as they dropped off Walter's sugar sustenance.

Astrid heard a crack at the same time Peter grabbed her waist and pulled her down to the ground with him. "Ouch," he said. He touched his shoulder and his hand came away with blood on it. She could see where the fabric on his coat had been grazed by a bullet. She dragged him into a side alley.

"Are you okay or not?"

"Just winged," Peter said. "They were shooting at me, I'm pretty sure."

"Of course they were," Astrid said. "No one wants me dead."

"You are just that nice," he said, with a small smile. "We should get out of here."

"The car is two blocks back," Astrid said. She stood up and started moving to the back of the alley. She also got out her phone and called 911. She rattled off her FBI ID as well for that extra bit of urgency. Then, as they were still walking carefully towards the end of the alley, she called Olivia. She called very quietly.

"Well, fuck," Peter said, as they reached the wall at the end of the alley. When they both turned around there was a man coming towards them, holding a gun.

Peter said, "Any chance you're armed?"

"For a coffee run?" She noticed Peter had stepped in front of her which was sweet. She tried to stay in the shadow as the man came forward. He was an unattractive lumpy white guy with a gun that Astrid knew enough to know had been chosen for size over accuracy. Some people just weren't smart.

The guy said, "Hands up, Bishop."

"Why?" Peter moved forward with his hands not up. Astrid moved quietly in the shadows against the foul smelling wall. Lumpy Ugly was only looking at Peter. "You're just going to kill me, right? For Big Eddie, I assume."

"That's the plan," Ugly said. "Tell your girlfriend to stand still." Astrid stood still. She was already three feet from Peter, almost right across from the gunman.

"She's not my girlfriend," Peter said. "I don't even know her."

"I know you know her, I've been watching you," Ugly said. His eyes shifted from Astrid to Peter and back to Astrid. "She works at that lab."

"She's an FBI agent, asshole," Peter said.

Ugly turned towards Astrid, swinging his gun, which was obviously Peter's reckless, ridiculous plan. He jumped on Ugly and Astrid ducked while running behind Ugly. Peter had landed on the guy in such a way to disarm him, but Ugly definitely was getting in jabs against Peter. As Astrid used her training and battered the hell out of Ugly from behind, she noted that Peter's main fight style was keep hitting and then hit again.

Ugly sunk to his knees and effectively surrendered. Peter said, "Cuff him."

"Because I carry handcuffs to a pastry run," Astrid said. Peter handed over a zip tie which she put on Ugly. "You just carry these around."

Peter smiled again. "In my life, generally, I've found it useful."

"Great," Astrid said. The cops and Olivia had finally shown. Peter waved and Astrid called out.

Ugly was taken off one way and the cops were having serious discussions with Peter. Astrid did have her FBI badge on her. Olivia came over and said, "Good work."

"No yelling because I didn't take my gun?"

Charlie stepped up next to Olivia. "Having met Walter, I can see why you wouldn't want a firearm in the lab."

Astrid said, "Because I'll shoot him or because he shouldn't be near a gun?"

Olivia said, "Both?"

Charlie looked back at Peter over his shoulder. "Guess who has a few outstanding warrants?"

Olivia looked a little stricken. Astrid was pretty sure Olivia was more fond of Peter than Olivia was about to admit. It had only been 6 months acquaintance with both of them, but Astrid could tell.

Olivia said, "Did you say it was a real warrant or -"

"A warrant for just being obnoxious?" Astrid said it softly, but she saw Olivia smile at it.

Charlie said, "A real warrant. Something about fraud in Texas and Michigan. Don't worry, I'm sure we can throw our weight around enough to make it go away and alienate all these cops."

Astrid said, "I'll let you two deal with it, I should check in with Walter."

She knew the minute she started to open the door to the lab she should have brought the pastries. Walter had very strong feelings about the fruit tart from the coffee shop she and Peter had been headed to. Walter looked up eagerly, and then said, "Where's Peter?"

"He's okay," Astrid said. "Walter, he's okay. He's with the police. And Olivia."

"Peter?" Walter look confused and concerned and lost. He looked lost all the time. It was hard for Astrid to reconcile sometimes that he was the most dangerous person she knew. It wasn't just the part where he had just a few months ago injected her without a second thought. It was his experiments and the tapes he had that he never tried to hide as he tortured people for his own ends.

She liked the raise Broyles had given her after the injection incident. Peter had apologized, too, much better than Walter.

"Peter is being taken care of," Astrid said. "I think it's time to go home, Walter."

"Are you very sure? We need to work on that experiment and I should wait for Peter." Walter went back and forth from one table to the other until Astrid guided him to his jacket and hat. He followed her to her car without question. She drove him more often than she liked.

She got him settled down and he turned the TV on, immediately ignoring her. She rolled her eyes a little. She would have preferred a more polite mad scientist to be tethered to sometimes.

She didn't use to rank the kind of mad scientists she wanted to work with. But her work was fascinating, so far that was balancing out things so far. If Walter ever made her clean up after Gene, she was quitting, though.

She was exhausted and starving when she got home. She forced herself to go through the cabinets and grab food. She was probably going to make very boring mac and cheese. When she spent too much time with Walter, she generally ate better. She indulged in her favorite daydream: Audra McDonald singing to her, Audra McDonald made her dinner, Audra McDonald naked.

Peter knocked on the door and she let him in. She said, "You aren't in jail?"

"I don't think so," Peter said, looking around. "Am I?"

"Yeah, you're hilarious. Why are you here?"

"I'm here to apologize. I didn't mean to get you involved in any of this," Peter said. He leaned over the counter.

"Do you ever?"

"I nearly got you killed because that's the way I do things," Peter said. "I apologize a lot for Walter but I should be throwing in more than few for myself, so, again, sorry."

"Do you think Walter feels bad? Not about tonight, that's all you. But I wonder about Walter."

"I think he gets better, he learns," Peter said.

"He's pretty old to be learning about sincere apologies," Astrid said. "I understand, though."

"I wish I believed that," Peter said. "Anyway, I was going to take you out to dinner. Is that the traditional 'sorry I got you shot at' gift? Or is it flowers?"

"I'm starving, so take me out, right now. There's a 24 hour place one block down and you are taking me there."

Peter was good company. He said, "Did I hear you singing when I knocked? Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Audra McDonald in Ragtime when I was 20? Amazing performance."

"You did not," Astrid said, slapping his arm lightly.

"I did, too," Peter said. "Look, I know all of this is fucked up. Our lives, what we're working on. I'm tempted to run away every day. I've been tempted."

"Now you're just confused why you don't run," Astrid said.

"I could run," Peter said.

"You won't," Astrid said. They sat down to eat. "Why were you seeing theater when you were 20 in New York City?"

"I was 20, I still had good taste," Peter said. "Plus, you know Walter loves the theater. I liked going to things he couldn't see."

"Someday you might want to try doing things not because of Walter," Astrid said.

"Taken under advisement," Peter said. The waitress came over and they ordered their food.