Title: To The Bottom
Author: hbomba
Rating: M
Summary: Bo searches the worlds over for Kenzi, and Lauren reveals the shocking reality of her latest research project.
Warnings: Post 4x13 and all that it involves.
A/N: Huge thanks goes to my partner, lonejaguar, who tirelessly edits my stories and keeps me honest.
Words: 11,800
It had been hours since she had sent the Succubus off to face her destiny and minutes since Dyson called to tell her what had happened on the battlefield. Lauren blinked and suddenly found herself in the car, speeding towards the clubhouse.
The Camaro was in the laneway, engine still ticking with effort. She opened the big wooden door and marched into the mud room. Flipping the corner of the welcome mat up with her foot, she palmed the key. Sliding the key into the lock, she stepped into the pitch dark of the shack Bo and Kenzi had called home. Lauren's fingers fumbled for the light switch. "Bo, are you here?" She threw her keys onto the counter and ascended the stairs, following the light coming from a lamp in Bo's empty bedroom. "Bo?" Her leather jacket was laying on the bed. Lauren's fingers caressed the black leather before the floorboards creaked from above the bathroom and dust showered the tile floor. Abandoning the jacket, she climbed another set of steps. She called out for Bo once again, her tone softening as she poked her head into Kenzi's bedroom.
Bo sat motionless on Kenzi's bed, her hunched back to Lauren. "Bo." Lauren breathed a sigh of relief. She sat beside Bo as quietly as she could manage and she waited a long minute before turning to look at her. It was dark in Kenzi's bedroom save some Christmas lights that hung festively around the perimeter of the room. "Are you okay?" She cringed at her own question. She was sure that Bo was exactly the opposite but she was also sure that any of the clinical questions her medical training had given her would be all wrong here, too. Bo either needed to be left alone or she needed Lauren's comfort and never the two shall meet.
Lauren reached out a hand to brush a stray hair from her face.
"Kenzi's gone." She sniffed.
"Bo, I'm sorry."
"Why are you here?"
"I didn't want you to be alone." Lauren reached into Bo's lap to retrieve her hand. She squeezed it between her own. Bo's hands were clammy, something Lauren could say she had never felt from Bo before. "Shit." She reached out and touched Bo's forehead, also clammy. She held two fingers against her wrist and took Bo's pulse. It was sluggish.
"Why are you here?" Bo asked again, obviously confused now.
"Bo, look at me." Bo's eyes wandered the room. "Are you dizzy or nauseous?" Lauren asked.
"Where's Kenzi? Kenz, are you here?" Bo called out.
"Okay honey, I'm just going to lay you back," Lauren stood and helped Bo to lay down. When Lauren turned to get her medical bag, Bo grabbed her hand.
"You can't leave me, Kenzi's gone." Her furrowed brow and red eyes broke Lauren's heart. "Stay with me."
"You're in shock, Bo. I have to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine." She dropped Lauren's hand. "Just go."
Lauren stood in the very pit of indecision. She couldn't leave Bo alone, but her bag was two floors below and all she needed to do was to listen to her heart. Lauren climbed onto the bed and lay her head on Bo's chest. Her heart beat proudly beneath her breast and Lauren couldn't help connecting with the sound of her heart pounding against her ear. Bo's hand founds its way into her hair and Lauren's eyes fluttered shut. Focus, she thought to herself. Shit. Lauren sat up abruptly. "I'm sorry." She shook her head.
Bo's eyes fell shut. "It's okay," she said, her voice barely a whisper. Soon, a soft hum rumbled in the quiet of Kenzi's bedroom as Bo drifted off. Lauren relaxed, letting her head fall onto a pillow and curled around Bo. "Don't go," Bo whispered.
"I'm not going anywhere." Lauren kissed Bo on the cheek. Laying back, she stared up at the twinkling lights. Bo sighed, her breathing was evening out and Lauren found herself exhaling into Bo's hair, her perfume invading Lauren's senses when she inhaled again. One arm draped over Bo's hip, she buried her face, Bo softly snoozing in front of her. Reaching behind her she pulled a blanket over them. Bo hummed and Lauren smiled. She rarely got to see Bo sleep. Not because she wasn't around but because Bo tended to roam the clubhouse. Even after a long session of lovemaking, Bo would put on a kimono and descend to the main floor with a sexy smile and a sparkle in her eye. Eventually she would return to bed but by that time Lauren was out cold. But, tonight. Tonight she was able to enjoy the pure beauty that Bo possessed. Unfettered from grief until she wakes and the agonizing starts anew.
Lauren awoke with a start. She patted the bed beside her and sure enough, Bo was gone. Untangling herself from the blankets, she swore to herself, "Sure I can keep an eye on Bo. I promise not to fall asleep and let her out of my sight," Lauren mocked herself. She started down the stairs when Bo appeared at the bottom, holding two steaming mugs. "Hi," Lauren smiled.
"Hi." Bo began to ascend the staircase. At the top she passed a mug to Lauren. "I made coffee."
"Thank you," she said taking Bo's hand and pulling her to sit with her on the bed. Lauren took a sip of her coffee and made a face.
"It's not very good," Bo said, her voice devoid of any emotion.
"Thanks for the warning." Lauren smirked and set the coffee on the bedside table.
"Kenzi used to make the coffee."
"You'll get the hang of it, this stuff takes time."
"I don't want to get the hang of being okay that Kenzi sacrificed herself for me."
"Bo, I didn't mean-" Lauren started.
"-I know." She waved a hand and she sipped the awful coffee, swallowing hard and making a face as she did.
Lauren took the mug from Bo and set it aside. "Don't drink that."
Bo sighed. "Will you teach me how to make coffee?"
Lauren smiled. "Of course."
Twenty minutes later they returned to Kenzi's bedroom with fresh, more palatable cups of coffee. The bedroom was now a sort of holy ground zero. Things stayed where they were-as she left them. The women sat on the bed again, their backs to the headboard. Lauren rested her head on Bo's shoulder and Bo leaned against Lauren.
"Remember how she used to make us breakfast on Sunday mornings? No matter if we were up all night drinking or home by eight." Bo swallowed, blinking back the tears. Lauren caressed her leg. "And the little messages she'd write on the mirror in the bathroom steam…" Lauren smiled remembering pieces of song lyrics or just a simple 'I love you', Kenzi had a spirit like no other.
Bo unzipped her boots and threw them over the side of the bed. She could hear Kenzi yell Be careful with the ladies! She could never abide by shoe abuse. "Ugh. I can't believe I slept in those."
"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you." Lauren apologized awkwardly.
Bo covered Lauren's hand with her own, "You've done enough." Her fingers curled around Lauren's hand and Bo nodded at her. "Thank you."
They sat in silence, Lauren mulling over the idea that she had done all that Bo needed or asked of her while Bo silently punished herself for Kenzi's decision. They would go round and round in the days to come about just who was to blame for Kenzi closing the portal the way she did. She would catch Bo in tears on occasion, mostly when they were getting ready for bed and she had too much time to herself. But Lauren was there to support her, to love her and to care for her, helping her through one of the most difficult times in her life.
Most days it was Bo that fumbled through life, where making a decision was like pulling eye-teeth and pain was an idea more than a physical experience. And Bo was learning that she'd much rather be gutted literally rather than figuratively. Through it all, Lauren tried to make the transition to living without Kenzi-without her guiding heart-easier and, for her part, Bo leaned heavily on Lauren.
And Lauren never let herself feel much of anything about Kenzi's death. They were finally friends with an understanding of each other's place in Bo's life when it was all cut short. Lauren knew how much deeper Kenzi's connection with Bo was so she sidelined any emotions she thought she should have to focus on Bo's fragile emotional state.
Life went on for weeks like this and Bo's progress was charted slowly but as the days went on, she began to smile a little more, blame herself a little less and most importantly, she began to feel again. No longer numbed by the traumatic event that shaped her current state.
Bo had a hop to her step today. She moved through the kitchen effortlessly and Lauren sat on a stool watching the changed woman before her. She slid a plate in front of Lauren and held open the pizza box. Bo had "cooked" them dinner. This after disappearing on an errand that afternoon, Lauren was pretty sure the pizza tasted less like a Kenzi special and more like a Bo special. After waiting a month for her to come around, it finally looked as though Bo was making strides to move past her grief but it was all a little sudden for Lauren's tastes.
"You look great today," Lauren said with a smile.
"I feel great," Bo bit into a slice. "Everything is going to be all right." She reached across the table and covered Lauren's hand with her own.
Lauren intertwined her fingers with Bo's and sighed. "Why the change of heart?"
"I've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself, for Kenzi, for us these past few weeks but today I realized something. I could sit around and feel sorry for us all till the end of time but that won't bring Kenzi back. The only way I'm going to do that is to march on Valhalla to Hel and back if need be. If that bitch Leviathan wants a fight, she's gonna get one."
Lauren was startled by her hard boiled plan. Bo running off half-cocked is the last thing they needed. "Bo, it's too dangerous." She shook her head. "The Leviathan is a trickster, what if she traps you? How are you ever going to get Kenzi out by putting yourself in danger?"
"The Leviathan knew this would happen, she told me someone I love very much would die-"
"Then she'll be ready for your return. Don't you see? This isn't a game, Bo."
"What do you suggest then?" Bo asked.
"Let me help." She blurted in desperation. Lauren's eyes met Bo's and the tension ratcheted up a few notches.
"Enough people have died helping me," Bo said solemnly.
"All I'm asking is that you tell me your plan and we work through it together." Bo smiled and turned to brush Lauren's blonde hair from her cheek. "Bo," she shook her head. "I know a lot of people would like to see you go to Hel, but I'm the one that wants to see you make it back."
"Doctor, what did I do to deserve such devotion?" The corners of Bo's mouth curled upwards and Lauren felt the familiar flush spread across her cheeks at Bo's mention of her title.
Lauren covered Bo's hand with her own. "Do you really want to talk about that now?"
Smirking at that, Bo looked down at their fingers intertwined. "Lauren," she started. "You blow me away. You're smart and gorgeous and I love you." She let that statement hang between them. Lauren wanted to plead with her not to do what she was bound and determined to do but she knew that would be futile. Kenzi was the missing piece in all of them but for Bo her absence became the fire in her belly, the burning in her brain. Her sister had been taken and Bo would do whatever it took to get her back. "Tamsin said she was lost but I don't believe it. I can't believe it. If she's not in Valhalla, I will search until I find her."
"Why do I get the distinct feeling that I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night to find you gone having left a note on your pillow that says 'Gone to Hel?'"
Bo smiled. "Give me a little credit. I'd at least have the good graces to say 'Be back soon.'"
Amusement tugged at the corners of Lauren's mouth as she nodded. She loved their free and easy banter. She had missed Bo so much during her exile from the Fae and then her exile with the Dark. It was tough to watch Bo carry on without her over a decision she had made for her benefit and there were many times when she had wavered over the plan she had concocted that ultimately kept them apart.
For science. For love. Of that Lauren was certain, now more than ever. Her love for Bo was all-consuming. And that was why she hesitated telling Bo what she needed to know to begin her quest to save Kenzi from the underworld.
"So what's your plan?" Lauren asked Bo.
"I'm going to the graveyard. The crows showed me that I could jump into Hel through a fresh grave. I figure that as good a place to start as any." Bo shrugged.
"That's it?" Lauren raised her eyebrows. "That's your plan?"
"It's more like a concept."
"Bo, how are you going to come home?"
"Last time I played word games with the Leviathan. Hey-can you help me come up with an unbeatable riddle?"
"She underestimated you the first time, she won't do that again. Listen, I took some things from the Dark archives before Massimo…you know. I just need some time to go over the information and I think I can come up with something that might suit your needs better."
"Stealing from the Dark…You're all kinds of awesome these days, Doctor." Bo smiled flirtatiously.
"I was going to bring them back," Lauren said defensively, a smile creeping onto her face. "But I had to make a spirited exit."
Lauren held a book aloft, reading it as she waited for the kettle to boil. Bo watched her from across the room, losing herself to the sweet way she furrowed her brow and mouthed random passages of text. As the kettle's whistle sounded, Lauren lifted it and filled a pair of mugs. She lowered the book, turning her attention to stirring cocoa into the mugs.
"In Norse mythology there is a great ash tree whose branches and roots reach to the nine sacred realms. There are three wells that act as portals to the worlds-the well of wisdom, the well of destiny and the red herring, the roaring kettle, a fiery lair to the Nidhogg." Lauren tucked the book beneath her arm and carried the mugs to the living room. She returned to the pile of scrolls and maps on the couch.
"That sounds unpleasant." Bo took one of the mugs from her and plopped down beside Lauren, jostling the scrolls and maps she had spread across her lap.
"Let's just say that unless you want to fight a giant, fiery warthog without your powers, you'd best stay away from that well."
Hours had passed since Lauren had promised to come up with a better plan but she was filling her head full of papyrus lore, trying to find something that would help Bo. So far, her quest threatened to be her last. Bo had not faced anything like this before and Lauren was beginning to lose hope that she'd make it back to her.
And then, just like all great scientists before her, Lauren had a breakthrough. A moment of enlightenment, of pure understanding. Lauren discovered the key to it all: a talisman.
"This is it," Lauren patted the book on her lap. "There's a way to transport through the realms or get out quick if you need to. We need to assign something to be a talisman, it needs to have meaning to the person who uses it."
Bo covered the charm resting on her chest. "The necklace," she said.
Lauren smiled quietly to herself. After not wearing it for the past six months, Bo and the necklace were nearly inseparable now. The implications of this were still vague because they never made time to talk. They always moved from one adventure to the next, never tending to the home fires.
"How does it work?" Bo asked. "I mean, the necklace hasn't changed…"
"I'm not positive but if the translations are right, by focusing your energy on a talisman, you will be transported throughout the realms."
"You never cease to amaze me." Bo smiled and moved in close.
Lauren wet her lips. "That's my line." She smiled, their eyes connecting and Lauren felt weak in the knees. A flash of blue in Bo's baby browns betrayed her intentions. "We should go," Lauren said.
It was a long drive north to the protected forests, where the Yggdrasil, the mighty ash tree flourished, even in winter. Amidst a vast forest, whose roots reached to the underworld and its branches reached toward the heavens. Surrounding the great tree were three wells that acted as the portals to the nine realms. The wells were dilapidated, stone and brick flaking away.
Bo circled the wells. "How do I tell which is which?"
"Look around for markers, a stone, brick or tile with Norse writing." Lauren suggested.
Bo knelt beside a well, brushing away snow and twigs from a plaque just below the frozen surface. "The well of Urd?"
"It's the well of destiny, Bo." Lauren looked up from the papyrus.
Bo gritted her teeth. "I'm really getting sick of that word."
"Listen," she hushed. "It's guarded by three Norns."
"This just keeps getting better and better." Bo kicked at the snow.
"Just don't give away your love or your Succubus and everything will be fine."
"I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor in these troubled times."
"You have to admit there are a lot of parallels…" Lauren said seriously.
Bo stood and walked toward Lauren. "No," Bo shook her head. "I don't." She reached out and brought her hands to rest at either side of Lauren's face. "You are the one that I love, you are the one I choose and I would never give that up to a Norn or anyone else."
The conviction in Bo's voice made the lump in Lauren's throat impossibly hard to swallow. "Bo you're going to the mystical Norse underworld, This isn't something that a person can prepare themselves for.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Bo said, the swagger back in her voice.
Lauren sighed. "Bo, if anything ever happened to you-"
Bo kissed her softly. "You'd fix me." She smiled.
"But I can't come with you."
"I'll always find my way back to you." Bo held Lauren's hands in her own and inhaled. "So how exactly do I enter a well?"
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think you have to jump in," Lauren replied.
Bo leaned over the well's opening. "It's pitch black. That's not scary."
"You won't be able to feed in the other realms so keep yourself out of trouble," Lauren said. "Don't go picking fights." Lauren said.
"No fights, got it." Bo climbed the rock face of the well and stood on the edge. "Here goes nothing." Bo winked at Lauren before hopping into the well of destiny and disappearing.
Freefalling for what felt like minutes, Bo was weightless, her stomach lodged in her throat and just when she thought she was going to be road kill, she was plunged into water. The impact stung her skin. She opened her eyes underwater and spotted a light, diving deeper, she chased it. Bo was out of breath and there was no way she could make it back now, so she dove further into the bottomless pit of the well, pushing herself harder. She couldn't fail Kenzi and she made a promise to Lauren, too. But Bo remained confident that disappearing into an ancient well in the middle of the forest was not how she was going to go out. Of that she was sure.
A few hard strokes and Bo spilled onto a dock, through a wall of water that shimmered before her. She rolled onto her back gasping for air. She saw spots. Her hand gripped the dagger strapped to her thigh as she caught her breath. After a few moments her vision cleared and she sat up, looking around. Three women stood around a fire, oblivious of Bo's presence. She clambered to her hands and knees and stood unsteadily. The women whispered to each other.
"Nice welcoming committee you've got here." Bo stood defiantly in front of the fire the women surrounded.
The short and plump Norn turned to face Bo, "We've been expecting you."
"Of course you have." Bo wrung out her jacket and grew warm by the fire.
"I wrote the story of your life when you were born, Succubus," the tall Norn said, "You may think you are unpredictable but it's all here." She patted the papyrus roll in her hand.
"Give me that," Bo demanded.
"Sorry, honey, the story of your life is not your own," the third, more aged Norn spoke at last.
"There's only one person I let call me honey and it's not you." Bo held up a hand.
"Of course, the doctor." A grim smile spread across her face. "She's keeping something from you, even now."
Bo frowned. "Leave Lauren out of this."
"I'm afraid that's impossible. Your fates are intertwined." The sly smile that haunted Bo was back. "But you knew that already, didn't you? Or else you wouldn't be wearing her talisman."
"What do you know about it?"
"Child, I know everything," the older Norn spoke slowly.
"I beg to differ. Your fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired, ladies." The three Norns laughed, unaffected by Bo's words. Bo joined in awkwardly. "Shit." She sighed. "So tell me why I'm here."
"You are here for the heart," the wise Norn replied.
"How do I get her back?" Bo asked.
"You must quest through the realms for her. Body and spirit are lost. Valhalla is locked. The doctor is in mortal danger."
"No, that's impossible. How am I supposed to save them both?" Bo felt the frustration choking the words from her throat.
The oldest Norn began to laugh and the hurt look on Bo's face only lasted a moment before she grew angry. "You're still so young, aren't you? You have to believe in yourself, Child. Believe."
There was a snap of fingers echoing in the cavern and the Norn were gone, Bo was alone. "Shit," she said again. "What do I do now?" Bo paced around the fire as her mind raced. "Kenzi. Lauren," Bo whispered. "Alright, let's try this. Show me what you've got." She squeezed the necklace in her hand. "Valhalla."
A white light enveloped her and a second later she was standing at the frosty gates of Valhalla. Bo smiled and shook her head. "Neat trick, Doctor."
Bo rattled the gate and yanked on the absurdly large pad lock and chain.
"She's not here. Go away," a voice came from behind the gate.
"How do you know who I'm looking for?" Bo asked.
"I know all, Succubus. You seek your heart, lost to you after you foolishly almost freed the Pyrippus."
"Listen up, ass," Bo said with much malice in her tone. "Tell me where she is or I'm going to have a Succubus tantrum all up in here."
"Don't you think they know what you're planning? What you yourself don't even know you're about to do? They are the Gods and you mustn't underestimate their power and insight."
"Why does everyone know about my destiny except me?" Bo grumped.