One last time
I promise after that I let you go

Sanji woke up from his sleep. He could feel his left hand resting above somebody's chest, constantly heaving up and down with every breath. Warmth spread from the others' body.

2.08 am

That's what the clock said when he peered across the others' body to the digital clock on the end table. The clock keeping a steady blink on every passing second.

Removing his tangled leg, Sanji sat on the side of his bed still naked and exhausted from the activity a few hours before. After that, he got up and picked up his boxers and pants from the floor in front of the bed. It was hidden under the pile of clothes on top of it.

Finished with wearing his pants, he searched for his shirt to find his box of cigarettes and lighter. Then he slid open the glass window facing the front of the bed and head out to the balcony while placing a cigarette between his mouth and clicking the lighter on to light it up.

The city was calm with the night breeze. It was late. No moving car was in sight, most of the lights were out, no people talking in their phone while walking on the sidewalk. It was soothing and peaceful.

As the ring of smoke came out of his mouth when he exhaled, he pondered on about what just happened before. He felt a wave of guilt came on to him. It wasn't like he didn't want to be with Zoro. He does. He really does. But he had been with Ace for most of his life and this change was different yet... liberating.

With Ace, it was like being with fire. Ace was always around, a ball of joy tugging him to go anywhere he wants but Sanji was always in a constant danger. Even so, Ace had been there for him as long as he can remember.

Since a year ago, Ace got caught up in some drug cartel. He had some financial troubles and turned on to drugs. Sanji had told Ace to come work at the Baratie. He was always welcome there, the old man likes him (sort of), and he was a hard worker. But Ace was already in too deep.

It has been a year since Ace had been gone from his life. No text, no calls, no emails. Until yesterday when Sanji got a call from Ace after work saying that he should go pack up his clothes and everything because he was leaving the country and Sanji has to go with him. Hearing that made Sanji stop moving completely in the midst of people walking on the sidewalk. When Sanji didn't talk for a long time, Ace finally said that he loved him and he missed him and if he loved him he would go with him. Ace had no time to explain but the urge of his voice and his pleading made Sanji aware that maybe Ace was in danger. Ace needed him.

But at the same time, since Ace had been gone, Sanji met Zoro. It wasn't in any way a conventional meeting. Sanji almost had his eyeballs out from seeing Zoro the first time.

Ace had been gone for 4 months. The rain was quite heavy that night. As it was the usual Saturday night, the Baratie was full of people jam packed into the high-class restaurant downtown. His head was pounding from the ordering and shouting, so he decided to let of some of his steam by smoking on the alley on the back of the restaurant.

The sight that he saw... He never wanted to see that again. There was a man with a faded green hair bleeding a lot from his chest, barely breathing. His body was slumped against the dumpster. Sanji, who was lighting his smoke at that time immidiately chucked his cigarette and lighter back to his shirt pocket to approach the man.

He shook the body, he shouted for him to wake up, but he wasn't moving. The only thing that indicates that he was still alive was his slow heartbeat and his erratic breathing.

So Sanji called 911 and the ambulance took him to the hospital. Sanji taught that the sight of the man being carried onto the ambulance would be the last time he's going to see the man.

But as if it were fate, Sanji saw him again. He was jogging around the local park that morning. Headphones on his ears with a slightly upbeat music. And there he was... Sitting across the lake in a meditating position. Sanji could see that his eyes was closed and he looked serene in his own world. Bandages could be seen slightly from his low cut v-neck t-shirt. Just enough for Sanji to know that the man was probably not fully healed yet.

The man probably sensed his presence when he approached him and the man opened his eyes. Or... eye. Because that left eye was shut even when he opened his right eye. A thin scar could be seen overlapping his closed eye.

"You're the guy that called the ambulance," the man said. Oddly enough, it wasn't a question. It was like the man already knew who he was. "The eyebrows gave it out. The doctor who treated me was told by the guy who was in the ambulance and then he told me."

Ah. Or it could be that.

"Thank you," the man said sincerely as he stood up from his position and bowed to him. "I probably wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for you."

Sanji felt his cheeks grew red at that. "You're welcome. And you don't need to bow down for that matter."

"It's a sign of respect where I came from," the man said simply as he straightened his body. "Roronoa Zoro," he said as he held out his hand to Sanji and smiled. "That's my name."

"Sanji," he said returning the exchange. Then he remembered the words that Zoro said before and felt a bit of an annoyance. "And uh... what did you say about my eyebrows?"

After their official meeting that day. They met up frequently, having exchanged their contacts. Each and everyday whenever he was with Zoro, Sanji felt safe. Like he had never met Ace. Like he was at home. More and more, Sanji became more attached to Zoro. Zoro was always around during the last hours of Sanji's crazy shifts. In return, Sanji was always there watching Zoro teach kendo and fight at the dojo. It was like he had been doing this forever.

Until that dreaded phone call from Ace, 8 months later. Sanji felt like the life with Zoro was a dream. A perfect dream with the perfect guy.

So he went to Zoro's apartment. He didn't have work that night. His old man told him to take a rest when he found out that Ace had called. Instead of walking back to his apartment, he went to Zoro's bringing lots and lots of booze.

When Sanji was about to knock on the door, the apartment was opened by the owner itself. Zoro was wearing a pretty fancy outfit. A green shirt with a black tie complimenting the outfit and also a pair of black trousers finishing the look. Sanji could also see that Zoro actually brushed his hair a bit (even though it's still a mess) and made an effort to wear a pair of dress shoes that Sanji bought for him a few weeks ago. Zoro's hands were reaching out for something placed on the shoe rack near the door, but stopped when he saw Sanji.

"Cook?" Zoro asked with a questioning look. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be at work tonight. And what's with all the booze?" He motioned to the whole plastic of booze that Sanji's holding.

"I kinda need to talk to you..." Sanji didn't look at Zoro's eyes. Somehow he felt like if he looked up to Zoro, he would see the word 'betrayal' written all over Zoro's face.

"Is something wrong?" Zoro opened the door wider to let Sanji in. Sanji just kept silent and entered Zoro's apartment.

As Sanji stepped inside, he saw that Zoro was holding the thing that was on the shoe rack before. It was a blue box wrapped in a white ribbon. He could see that the ribbon was wrapped a bit messy with it not being the same length and all. But Sanji knew it was Zoro's handiwork. On top of the box, Sanji could see a card was taped on with his name on it, written by Zoro's handwriting.

"I was gonna suprise you at work and give you this," Zoro held out the box to Sanji.

Sanji took it from Zoro and stared at the present that Zoro just gave him. It was sweet. Zoro was sweet. He always was. So, Sanji unwrapped the ribbon and opened the box. Inside the box was a single chef's knife with a smooth hardwood handle.

When Sanji lifted it up, he could feel something written on the other side. It was Sanji's named, carved beautifully into the wood. The knife felt right in his hands. The knife was light but Sanji could see that the blade was sharp by the way it shone with the light from the room.

"What's the occasion?" Sanji asked, hiding his own admiration for Zoro and decided to go tease him like he always do. "You probably want something from me, don't you, Marimo?"

Sanji had learnt the word "Marimo" when he saw one in Zoro's apartment. It was still there and still going strong. Zoro had brought it home from his trip to Japan before he'd met Sanji. It was still a small thing when Sanji first saw it and as of now, the Marimo had grown almost half the tank. Apparently that Marimo reminded Sanji of Zoro's messy green hair, which Zoro would never reveal when or why he dyed that hair of his. Sanji somtimes thought that it was natural, but who the hell has natural green hair?

"Wha—no. Fuck you asshole," Zoro cursed at him. Sanji managed to smile a little at that. "It's your birthday tomorrow, curly. I asked your old man about that. I decided to give you tonight so you won't get your hands full for your surprise tomorrow."

Sanji felt his heart melt at that. Zoro asked his old man about his birthday? There were surprises? No way Sanji could let him go. But he has to before Zoro would fall for him. Like he already did for Zoro. It pains his heart because of his decision to let Zoro go.

"Thank you, mosshead."

"Anytime, shit cook."

They made their way to Zoro's couch in the living room after that. The room was messy as usual. Sanji could see Zoro's usual CDs and DVDs all sprawled on the floor, leaving the disc racks empty. There was a can of beer still sitting on the end table beside the couch even though it's probably empty. Zoro's Marimo fishbowl is also sitting there on the end table next to the table lamp and the can. The coffee table was full of empty bags of chips which probably means that Zoro was watching a movie before deciding to go out.

"Do you ever clean, like just for once?" Sanji jeered at Zoro, while folding both of his hands and placing them in front of his chest with the gift still in his right hand.

"Uhh... Well I was planning to go to your place tonight. So..." Zoro started. But Sanji just went and picked up the trash to throw it in the trash bin near the kitchen. Zoro probably felt like he needed to do something too, so he started placing the numerous CDs and DVDs where it belongs.

"What were you watching?" Sanji asked absentmindedly to Zoro as he threw some other trash from Zoro's dining table—which was also full of junks—in the trash bin.

"G.I. Joe," Zoro answered. Sanji scrunched his face at that.

"Ugh, c'mon. They're not that good."

"Well that's what I found out while watching it."

"So..." Zoro said while sitting down on his couch, hands opening the beer that Sanji brought. Zoro took some from the plastic bag in the dining table where Sanji put it before cleaning the room. Zoro's apartment looked tidier than before after Sanji intiated the cleaning. "What did you wanna talk to me about?"

Sanji, who was still standing near the dining table, hesitated for a bit. After receiving his gift—his birthday present—he felt nauseous. He could as well be shaking all over. As bad as he wanted to tell Zoro about his past relationship with Ace. He knew that deep in his heart, that he wants Zoro and Zoro only. But Ace was not just his first love or his boyfriend, Ace was his friend. A friend that he would never break a promise to. A friend that he would go to the end of the earth for.

Shaking his head, Sanji made it clear. "Nah. It was nothing. I was actually here to remind you that my birthday is tomorrow and I should get something for that."

Zoro's lips creeped up to a smirk when Sanji said those words. "Something so important that you have to come see me at my apartment?"

"Yeah," Sanji answered while he made his way to sit on the couch beside Zoro. "But seeing that your apartment's looking like a pig pen turned me off. So..." He shrugged at that. Knowing Zoro, he wouldn't try to make a move at him anymore, so the other guy just let out a grunt in response, making it clear that he's displeased at Sanji.

"How about a movie?" Sanji suggested. He stood up and went through the rack of DVDs next to the TV that Zoro just tidied up.

"Sure," Zoro answered as he sipped from his beer can, head thrown back against the couch.

Sanji went through the rack for awhile and found a movie that he wanted. The movie was a classic and Sanji had placed it at Zoro's apartment since a few months ago. Mostly so he can annoy Zoro, but Sanji does enjoy the movie. It's one of his favorite romance film after all.

"Again?" Zoro questioned Sanji when the other man waved the DVD to Zoro, indicating that he's going to put it on the player. "Seriously? How many time have you watched it here – wait no. How many times have you watched it in your life, cook?"

"Probably more times than you going on the right direction," Sanji retorted while waiting the menu to pop on the TV screen. Sanji could feel Zoro's eyes gazing at him in annoyance. It's always nice to tease Zoro about his lack of directional sense. It was so awful, he would go right when told left even when he's already directed at the right way. Sanji sometimes contemplated to send Zoro to a doctor, but it was what made Zoro unique and he didn't want to change that.

Sanji played the movie and went to sit back on the couch, leaning his head on Zoro's shoulders. It was always nice being alone with Zoro. Like the world is just background noise and the other man's presence is the only one that matters.

Sanji felt Zoro's arm resting around his shoulders and his lips nuzzled in his mop of blonde hair. This is now. Enjoy your time. No Ace, no drug cartel, no work. Just me and Zoro. That's all there is. Being there in the moment with Zoro made Sanji forgot every worry that's going on his mind.

It didn't take long until Sanji finally gave up on his act and brought Zoro's lips to his own. Savoring the moment they have now. Because there won't be another one when he would leave on the next day.

Sanji woke up from his trance, still staring at the night sky above him. Smoke from his burnt cigarrette rolled on to the sky, sweeped by the wind. The sound of a blanket being tousled came from the room. Apparently, Zoro pulled his blanket tighter around his body, probably because of his balcony door being opened and the cold night air blowing inside.

Sanji threw his cigarrette to the ground and stepped on it to put it out, kicking it lightly to edge of the balcony to get rid of the thing. As soon as he did it, he stepped back inside, not forgetting to close the balcony door back.

Gazing at the man sleeping on the bed in front of him, Sanji pondered about what he was going to do after this. Should he really run away from the one that he love? Should he really go back to Ace?

Please come with me. I love you.

He remembered the words that Ace said when he called him. He remembered the plead in Ace's voice. Sanji wasn't one to leave his friends alone. Sanji wasn't one to betray someone.

Yet Sanji knew he already did. He betrayed Ace and spent the months Ace was gone with Zoro. He went and became another one's lover when he already had one. He knew there's nothing he could do to redeem himself to Ace other than coming with Ace. He already knew he was a horrible person already.

Knowing what he wants to do, Sanji ripped out a piece of paper from one of Zoro's notebook on Zoro's desk and took one of the pen lying around on the desk. He sat down, put his cigarrette box and lighter on the desk and started writing and writing until he finally felt that it was done.

Sanji folded the paper he wrote in and placed it on Zoro's bedside table, next to the digital clock that kept on it's steady blinking. He leaned down and brushed Zoro's ever messy green hair and wondered for a while if the hair was dyed or not. A simple question that he won't ever get the answer to. So he kissed the sleeping man's forehead and kept his lips there for awhile. Sanji noticed the man stirred for a bit and smiled in his sleep.

Deciding that staying there for awhile longer won't do him any good, Sanji grabbed his shirt from the previous pile of clothes, slipped his cigarrette box and lighter onto the pocket and put the shirt on before finally walking out of the door and closing it slowly. Sanji went out of the apartment, not forgetting his birthday present from Zoro, holding it close to his chest.

Nothing in life always work out. There's bound to be fuck ups on the way. Deciding on the path you choose is what will drive you to either the best choice or the worst. Sanji settled for the choice he thought was best for everything. But he couldn't help but still feel numb on the inside. For he might have walked out on his only chance of true love.

A/N:

Here's a bit of Zosan angst^^. This story kinda grew because I never intended for it to be this long X( But yeah tell me what you think about this story. Go and leave a review here^^. Thank you!

This story was loosely inspired by the song "One Last Time" by Ariana Grande.